SusanJillParker
I'm 100% woman
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2011
- Posts
- 2,155
A beautiful morning that's promises to be a wonderful day until...
I open the AH on Literotica to see if anyone had made a post to my threads, only...they're gone. Both my threads are gone. There's nothing left of them but a yellow arrow pointing me to the right.
"WTF!"
Okay. Walking and walking, leaving Pennsylvania, I followed the arrow all the way to Washington, DC, all the way up the Capitol steps, and down a very long hall with closed doors.
"Am I dreaming this? Where the Hell are my threads?"
Finally, I come to a giant, double brass door that must be 12' tall with a sign that reads: Literotica's Political Threads.
"Are you kidding me? No way! I don't believe this."
I open the double doors and as if walking through a Sultan's bedroom or a Republican enclave, I see dozens and dozens of desks, computers, chairs, and people busy posting.
"Wow! Get a load of these digs. This is waaaaaaaaaaay better than the Author's Hangout thread."
Every poster had a mahogany desk with their name engraved on a brass plaque.
"There I am. SusanJillParker."
Only, there's no chair. What am I supposed to do stand here and write my political thread posts? Then, just as I thought that a man rolls out a brand new, blue, Herman Miller, Embody chair.
"Wow! That's just like the chair that I have a home."
"We wanted you to have a new chair Ms. Parker. We didn't want you to have a chair that had previously been farted on or otherwise sexually abused."
"Thank you. Thank you very much, I said taking my seat in front of a brand new Dell XPS limited edition, special series computer with a 30" monitor. "Wow! I must have died and gone to Literotica Heaven."
Just when I thought that was the extent of my accommodations when posting on the political thread in the political forum, another man walks down the aisle to hand me a ladies room key, a lanyard with my ID badge, a pass to the political posters FREE cafeteria, and keys to my new black Cadillac.
"Holy shit! I should have posted here years ago when the Republicans were in office. I can't imagine the spread then."
Then, a shirtless man wearing short shorts and bulging everywhere, if you know what I mean, walks down the aisle and stops at my desk.
"Hi. I'm Brad. I'm your sexy secretary."
Holy shit.
"Hi Brad," I said giving him the eye all over his nearly naked body.
Then, and I'm not kidding you. A woman walks down the aisle to hand me my benefits/medical/retirement book.
"What's this?"
"You're entitled to free healthcare and retirement."
"Oh my God."
"Thank you! Whoever was responsible for moving my threads from the lowly AH board to the Political Board, thank you, a million times thank you. Now get out of my thread and close the door behind you. I'll be at lunch for the day, Brad. Take messages and...put on some clothes. You're making me horny."
"Welcome to Washington," he said.
I open the AH on Literotica to see if anyone had made a post to my threads, only...they're gone. Both my threads are gone. There's nothing left of them but a yellow arrow pointing me to the right.
"WTF!"
Okay. Walking and walking, leaving Pennsylvania, I followed the arrow all the way to Washington, DC, all the way up the Capitol steps, and down a very long hall with closed doors.
"Am I dreaming this? Where the Hell are my threads?"
Finally, I come to a giant, double brass door that must be 12' tall with a sign that reads: Literotica's Political Threads.
"Are you kidding me? No way! I don't believe this."
I open the double doors and as if walking through a Sultan's bedroom or a Republican enclave, I see dozens and dozens of desks, computers, chairs, and people busy posting.
"Wow! Get a load of these digs. This is waaaaaaaaaaay better than the Author's Hangout thread."
Every poster had a mahogany desk with their name engraved on a brass plaque.
"There I am. SusanJillParker."
Only, there's no chair. What am I supposed to do stand here and write my political thread posts? Then, just as I thought that a man rolls out a brand new, blue, Herman Miller, Embody chair.
"Wow! That's just like the chair that I have a home."
"We wanted you to have a new chair Ms. Parker. We didn't want you to have a chair that had previously been farted on or otherwise sexually abused."
"Thank you. Thank you very much, I said taking my seat in front of a brand new Dell XPS limited edition, special series computer with a 30" monitor. "Wow! I must have died and gone to Literotica Heaven."
Just when I thought that was the extent of my accommodations when posting on the political thread in the political forum, another man walks down the aisle to hand me a ladies room key, a lanyard with my ID badge, a pass to the political posters FREE cafeteria, and keys to my new black Cadillac.
"Holy shit! I should have posted here years ago when the Republicans were in office. I can't imagine the spread then."
Then, a shirtless man wearing short shorts and bulging everywhere, if you know what I mean, walks down the aisle and stops at my desk.
"Hi. I'm Brad. I'm your sexy secretary."
Holy shit.
"Hi Brad," I said giving him the eye all over his nearly naked body.
Then, and I'm not kidding you. A woman walks down the aisle to hand me my benefits/medical/retirement book.
"What's this?"
"You're entitled to free healthcare and retirement."
"Oh my God."
"Thank you! Whoever was responsible for moving my threads from the lowly AH board to the Political Board, thank you, a million times thank you. Now get out of my thread and close the door behind you. I'll be at lunch for the day, Brad. Take messages and...put on some clothes. You're making me horny."
"Welcome to Washington," he said.
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We just booked the straight-through trip with a single stop in Siberia (which was rad). If I'm ever lucky enough to do that trip again (unlikely), I would 1) do it reverse, Beijing to Moscow (just for a change), and 2) do stay-overs in Ulaanbaatar and at Lake Baikal. AND bring a Kindle with a crapload of books, because days aboard a train are very very long long. 
