Masturbation comfort level around spouse?

[jordanhipster]

I hope this topic hasn't been beat to death. Ha, no pun intended.

I'm curious how open you guys are with your spouses about masturbating. My wife knows I masturbate, but I still hide like I did when I was a kid when doing it. If I hear her coming into the room I'll cover up and act like everything is cool.

I'm wondering if there are couples so open that they will continue masturbating even if their spouse wanders into the room, or rolls over in bed to see them or wherever.

Are you even so casual to just start at it while watching TV together. It doesn't have to lead to sex, but could be a simple urge you needed at that moment and took care of it.

 

[ForeverDreaming]

My husband and I both enjoy watching one another. But I can't watch him long. So I think we just kind of agree that we'll do it on our own for the most enjoyment from it. If he walks in, I don't often get to finish, but sometimes he will watch.

 

[coati]

It is a huge taboo for many people.

After once being told by a lovely clothed Domme to strip down and masturbate in front of her, and after several experiences with other men, masturbating in front of other consenting adults is no longer a major problem for me. My current SO learned how to get and keep me aroused in part because of her observations of how I reach an orgasm on my own. She appreciates my openness to having her observe.

I also think this act helps to communicate that a person's sexuality has a life of its own, and is not necessarily totally owned by the spouse or SO. This tends to help prevent being taken for granted or being sexually controlled when you do not choose to do so.

 

[jordanhipster]

Right, I wish it wasn't such a taboo. It disappoints me that I feel like I'm doing something wrong when masturbating; that I'm compelled to avoid getting caught by my SO. She has told me if she ever does walk in on me that I shouldn't expect her to help me out or join in. This leads me to believe she'll simply leave the room.

I would like for her to stay and watch to learn how I like my cock touched, but I don't think she's open to that. Sometimes I'll start stroking myself when we're getting undressed to have sex and she'll look at me and say "that's weird". :-(

It's nice to be on this forum and hear from more open minded couples.

 

[coati]

Right, I wish it wasn't such a taboo. It disappoints me that I feel like I'm doing something wrong when masturbating; that I'm compelled to avoid getting caught by my SO. She has told me if she ever does walk in on me that I shouldn't expect her to help me out or join in. This leads me to believe she'll simply leave the room.

I would like for her to stay and watch to learn how I like my cock touched, but I don't think she's open to that. Sometimes I'll start stroking myself when we're getting undressed to have sex and she'll look at me and say "that's weird". :-(

It's nice to be on this forum and hear from more open minded couples.

Having been in a two-decade relationship where shame, control, and oppressive routines were big elements of our sexual relationship, I understand what you are feeling. While it is much easier to negotiate the terms of a sexual relationship when you first get together, it is probably not impossible to modify them as one partner or the other decides to liberate themselves from the masturbation shame factor.

Perhaps the next time your SO indicates that masturbation is not appropriate, you can let her know that she is missing out on an opportunity to learn more about you sexually, and missing out on an opportunity to experience something new together. I realize that this would take a lot of courage and that she may still reject the idea.

But it is not just the partner(s) who may be complicit in masturbation shame. With the Domme, it wasn't like another person was telling me I was weird for masturbating-- she ordered me to do it. I still worried about her judgment. I remember bursting through my own masturbation shame barrier, with her observing while fully clothed and me fully exposed. At first, I could barely concentrate to get myself off. I remember finally saying to myself, "I no longer give a shit what this person thinks about me. I am going to forget the rest of the world and get off." It was a very revealing (for her) and liberating (for me) act of intimacy. And the coolest thing was about a week later, she called me up on the phone and said, "Drive over here. I'm hungry". I knew exactly what she meant. She had observed me completely letting go on my own, and now she wanted me.

 

[awired50]

We do mutual all of the time. We share and talk openly about it.

 

[JudasIscariot]

I will only masturbate if she's not home or coming home anytime soon.

If she found out I masturbated then she'd probably, God forbid, want me to have sex with her.

 

[Leigh81]

My husband knows I masturbate quite a bit, I know he does occasionally. Just last night & I believe Tuesday night I did it in front of him since we were away at a cottage, just the 2 of us.

L

 

[SassySheDevil]

I do it in front of my husband a lot. I also do it and send him videos at work on occasion so it heightens my chances of getting sex later I do it before sex also so I am even more sensitive when we do have sex. I'm pretty damn open though.

 

[curiousdreamer51]

I masturbate in private a lot but many times if she catches me and I stop she slides up next to me and takes my hand and places it on my cock....she will stroke with me until I get my rhythm going and then she will tease and suck my sensitive right nipple as she watches the show!

 

[mustang_driver]

My husband knows I masturbate quite a bit, I know he does occasionally. Just last night & I believe Tuesday night I did it in front of him since we were away at a cottage, just the 2 of us.

L

Very sexy!

 

[mustang_driver]

I do it in front of my husband a lot. I also do it and send him videos at work on occasion so it heightens my chances of getting sex later I do it before sex also so I am even more sensitive when we do have sex. I'm pretty damn open though.

HOT!!

 

[mustang_driver]

There was a time when mutual masturbation was common with us and I was comfortable pulling my cock out in front of her while watching TV or reading playboy, but things have changed. Right now, the kids are all gone for the day, she's on one couch and I on the other, and I really want to do it but can't bring myself to do so.

 

[Jcjr]

It is a topic that isn't really discussed between the wife & I (amongst many others) which I have been trying desperately to change over the past years to no avail. I love to watch her and have been able to enjoy this on very few occasions. As far as my masturbating (which is almost daily --I have a much bigger sex drive then her-totally different topic for another time) it is done privately for the most part. There have been times in the past where she has wanted me to so she could watch after having sex but only if I brought it up/mentioned it.
For the most part I will masterbate if she is not home or if I'm in the shower.

 

[RightFootFrwrd]

I'm lucky enough to say that my gf's sex drive is pretty even with my own. We talk openly about most things in our lives, but masturbation is usually something we only do when we're alone, if one of us is horny and the other one is around we just fuck each other.

Usually in our lead up to sex, I'll eat her pussy before we start fucking, but sometimes instead of making her cum with my mouth I'll sit back right before she's at that point and watch her play with her clit until she cums. Which means I'm also stroking my cock at that point... that's probably the closest we ever come to masturbating in front of one another.

 

[jordanhipster]

I'm lucky enough to say that my gf's sex drive is pretty even with my own. We talk openly about most things in our lives, but masturbation is usually something we only do when we're alone, if one of us is horny and the other one is around we just fuck each other.

Usually in our lead up to sex, I'll eat her pussy before we start fucking, but sometimes instead of making her cum with my mouth I'll sit back right before she's at that point and watch her play with her clit until she cums. Which means I'm also stroking my cock at that point... that's probably the closest we ever come to masturbating in front of one another.

That's pretty hot. My wife won't even touch herself. She's very uncomfortable with the topic of sex. Or at least she is with me and her friends. Maybe she's got some stud on the side that she lets her freak flag fly. If so, I want to watch.

 

[draconus_infernus]

I've masturbated in front of my partners before. It's a lot of fun!

 

[Misshotndeep]

He might as well not exist. I do it next to him at night. while he watches. he actually complains I do it so much!

 

[JustAnotherMarylander]

.....

 

[fullservice65]

Not that I don't want to do it around her ... She's a bit of a sexual prude.

 

[bibethhotwet]

Very comfortable with it. We have masturbated mutually with each other watching porn or just instructing one another. We also engage in fantasy chat.

 

[ADIDAS00]

It's been part of our normal foreplay and throughout our night while we have sex. Sometimes we take breaks and watch each other or I'll go down on her while I pleasure myself(or vice versa). It's a big turn on for us to see the other doing this to ourselves. Super sexy

We've also caught each other masturbating by ourselves and that too has been a turn on for us. There is something about it that's really erotic and sexy

 

[jordanhipster]

He might as well not exist. I do it next to him at night. while he watches. he actually complains I do it so much!

This would not be a complaint I would file in my house. A woman who's that comfortable with herself and masturbating is incredibly sexy. Good on you.

 

[LegsOpenedWide]

I very much relate to your situation. I tend to take care of myself fairly frequently and feel some guilt for doing so. I always do it on the sly and/or if he's not around. I stop if I think I'll get sprung ... though sometimes on a few occasions I can't help but find my fingers wondering down below whilst he's in bed asleep beside me.
He'd be mortified if he knew just how much I did it.

 

[HeyNikki77]

100% comfortable. Mutual masterbation is phenomenal! Laying next to each other on the bed pleasuring ourselves and watching the other do the same. OMG! Just knowing that we have the ability to make each other crazy without touching them is amazing. Plus, there is the added benefit of knowledge to be gained. If you're not too caught up in your own satisfaction, then paying attention to what your spouse is doing for themselves will only add to your ability to please them later on. It's a win/win situation. Not to mention.... Hot as fuck!