Laurel, so young, so thin, and so beautiful

[SusanJillParker]

Hi Laurel, just in case you're reading. Nice hat. You look so beautiful in your hat.

Have you lost weight? You look skinny, model like thin and the weight loss makes you look younger, so very young.

Anyway, the purpose of this thread is not to make nice with Laurel but to ask a question about her and about Literotica.

Laurel has told me on numerous occasions that she's the only one who approves and posts stories. Somehow with all the stories that go through here, I find that hard to believe.

Now, I have no idea how old Laurel is, even though she looks fabulous, thin, and young. She may even be a man for all I know. There's a good chance that Laurel isn't even her real name. Her real name may be Rose or Muhammad for all that I know. But...just wondering out loud...

Who posts stories when Laurel doesn't feel well and needs a sick day? Doesn't she take a day off or a vacation. I assume she could work from home or from anywhere in the world, but why would she want to? After 16 years, posting stories must get old.

The purpose of this thread is to publically ask Laurel, if she'd like to hire me to post stories. I work cheap. I work for free, as long as I can post my stories at the very top, on the next day, and give all my stories Green E's and Red H's.

Think about it and get back to me Laurel. You know where to find me.

 

[Sammael Bard]

I can already hear her reply.

 

[SusanJillParker]

I can already hear her reply.

Hey, whatever floats her boat, I'm willing to do (lol).

I wouldn't mind being the one in charge in her absence.

I figure once the old broad, I mean, Laurel, is gone for an extended absence, I can easily move a pool table, a big screen TV, and a bar in this thread. What do you think?

"Drinks are on the house, I mean, on Literotica!"

 

[lovecraft68]

Hey, whatever floats her boat, I'm willing to do (lol).

I wouldn't mind being the one in charge in her absence.

I figure once the old broad, I mean, Laurel, is gone for an extended absence, I can easily move a pool table, a big screen TV, and a bar in this thread. What do you think?

"Drinks are on the house, I mean, on Literotica!"

Throw in a dartboard and I am in.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Throw in a dartboard and I am in.

I love playing darts, horseshoes, ping pong, and bocce. That's what this thread needs, a bocce court.

Scouries has an Olympic size swimming pool in his thread.

 

[george50]

Hey, whatever floats her boat, I'm willing to do (lol).

I wouldn't mind being the one in charge in her absence.

I figure once the old broad, I mean, Laurel, is gone for an extended absence, I can easily move a pool table, a big screen TV, and a bar in this thread. What do you think?

"Drinks are on the house, I mean, on Literotica!"

I'm in line right now... Waiting for the bar to open....

 

[george50]

I love playing darts, horseshoes, ping pong, and bocce. That's what this thread needs, a bocce court.

Scouries has an Olympic size swimming pool in his thread.

Well if you are getting request.... A internet connected TV so we can watch....errrrr in very small letters PORN... I mean SPORTS.... LOL

Like my Brit chat buddy's say..."I'm being cheekie"

 

[Handley_Page]

Well if you are getting request.... A internet connected TV so we can watch....errrrr in very small letters PORN... I mean SPORTS.... LOL

Like my Brit chat buddy's say..."I'm being cheekie"

"cheekie"

Don't you mean "Cheeky" ?

 

[rjordan]

"cheekie"

Don't you mean "Cheeky" ?

Hard to say. You guys spell funny.

rj

 

[lovecraft68]

I love playing darts, horseshoes, ping pong, and bocce. That's what this thread needs, a bocce court.

Scouries has an Olympic size swimming pool in his thread.

Okay, so we'll do a few shots then its on to a game of 301.

And none of those cheesy Bud light "fly in" rules. This is double in and double out.

Loser has to read Pilot's last ten contest entries.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Okay, so we'll do a few shots then its on to a game of 301.

And none of those cheesy Bud light "fly in" rules. This is double in and double out.

Loser has to read Pilot's last ten contest entries.

Oh! You are a HATER!

 

[lovecraft68]

Oh! You are a HATER!

Oh, yeah? I'll play you and if you lose you have to read every excerpt he has posted in the author and their books thread.....

 

[Handley_Page]

Has this thread anything to do with the craft of writing ?

 

[sr71plt]

It's gotten around to that, yes. Hatecraft and JBJ are razzing my writing without actually reading any of it.

Sort of tells you a lot about them, doesn't it?

 

[sr71plt]

Loser has to read Pilot's last ten contest entries.

I'm willing to bet that it would be a far less grueling and tedious experience than reading your last ten contest entries.

 

[lovecraft68]

Has this thread anything to do with the craft of writing ?

No, but if that was a hard rule a lot of threads wouldn't be here.

 

[george50]

OK... Putting on firesuit in order to avoid incineration from flame war...

I was a SR-69 pilot once... But only once... Till my wife found out and made me flameout....

I should change my name to...... God please let me spell it right...... Trembling.....drum roll please

CHEAKYGEORGE69
former SR-69 pilot and navigator....
Up up we gohhhh or should it be down down we go...
Shit I'm getting too old for this....
Going to the pervert chatroom to drown my sorrows...

 

[SusanJillParker]

OK... Putting on firesuit in order to avoid incineration from flame war...

I was a SR-69 pilot once... But only once... Till my wife found out and made me flameout....

I should change my name to...... God please let me spell it right...... Trembling.....drum roll please

CHEAKYGEORGE69
former SR-69 pilot and navigator....
Up up we gohhhh or should it be down down we go...
Shit I'm getting too old for this....
Going to the pervert chatroom to drown my sorrows...

Pardon?

Did I read that correctly? You were once an SR-69 pilot? You were referring to a plane...correct? Did you really mean it was your mother who found out and made you flameout (whatever that is, I can only imagine) and not your wife?

"Security! We have another one. Please remove this man. Easy for me to tell with him running around my thread with his arms spread and making pretend noises like a plane in the way that someone we all know does. Obviously he's an imposter.

One ex-SR imaginary pilot is quite enough. We certainly don't need another one. Before you go, when you get out of the psyche ward, here's a roll of quarters for you to ride the plane behind the supermarket. Good luck to you. Take him away boys."

 

[george50]

Well. I love mind games and when I read someone's post and clearly I don't believe. I get sarcastic and write posts like the one I wrote. Although it's true, I'm a little nuts... (Who can claim total sanity)

Since I'm fairly new here, I'm just getting to know you guys and vice versa.

But be certain. People don't get me because they are not smart enough to understand sarcasm... For those of you that got it... You get smart credits for this... Lol

Shit now I'm getting the non-smart crowd pissed off. Well maybe they won't get this post either...

Did I mention, many say I'm arrogant... That's not true.. I know I have a 12" schlong and balls bigger than a large caliber canon ball.. The burden of proof lies on those that don't believe me

I'm not.. I'm not... I'm not. If you dont believe me...

I'll hold my breath till you do..

Time for me to put on my aluminum foil brain protector shield (the NSA, aliens, and who nows who else are after me and always inserting and sending me perverted horny thoughts)

Lol

"They are coming to take me away, ha-ha, they are coming to take me away ha-ha, to the funny farm where life is wonderful all the time, they are coming to take me away ha-ha"

I'm getting to like you guys...

Gotta go and take my meds.. I hate these padded rooms...

 

[SusanJillParker]

Well. I love mind games and when I read someone's post and clearly I don't believe. I get sarcastic and write posts like the one I wrote. Although it's true, I'm a little nuts... (Who can claim total sanity)

Since I'm fairly new here, I'm just getting to know you guys and vice versa.

But be certain. People don't get me because they are not smart enough to understand sarcasm... For those of you that got it... You get smart credits for this... Lol

Shit now I'm getting the non-smart crowd pissed off. Well maybe they won't get this post either...

Did I mention, many say I'm arrogant... That's not true.. I know I have a 12" schlong and balls bigger than a large caliber canon ball.. The burden of proof lies on those that don't believe me

I'm not.. I'm not... I'm not. If you dont believe me...

I'll hold my breath till you do..

Time for me to put on my aluminum foil brain protector shield (the NSA, aliens, and who nows who else are after me and always inserting and sending me perverted horny thoughts)

Lol

"They are coming to take me away, ha-ha, they are coming to take me away ha-ha, to the funny farm where life is wonderful all the time, they are coming to take me away ha-ha"

I'm getting to like you guys...

Gotta go and take my meds.. I hate these padded rooms...

Can you see me now? How'd you know that I'm wearing my tinfoil hat? Oftentimes I wear my tinfoil hat. It relaxes me. It keeps out all of that static noise.

So...are you admitting that you're not only George50 but also that you're Scouries and Sr71plt too?

Wow! Scratch the surface and all of the roaches run out of their holes. Only, in this case, the big rat is not three rats but only one giant rat.

So...George50 aka Scouries, aka Sr71plt, can you tell everyone that you're not a man with a foot long dick but a woman, a bitchy witch of a woman?

Also, would you care to comment that all of the gay e-Books you've supposedly have written were written by a ghostwriter? Lastly, would you be inclined to divulge who that ghostwriter is?

You being honest and telling the truth here is dependent upon whether or not we put you on ignore and shun you or welcome you back to our fold.

Finally, we're getting somewhere in the mystery of Sr71plt not being a model, an actor, a Broadway star, a diplomat, a spy, a Bible teacher, a recording star, and a famous pilot but a fraud.

You had us all fooled Scouries aka Sr71plt aka George50.

Now that we all know the truth, I, for one, forgive you. It's always best to start fresh and I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and a second chance in being a decent human being in the way that LoveCraft is.

Even though LoveCraft sets the bar high and we don't expect you to exceed those lofty expectations, we just want you to act nice and normal instead of acting like the mean, crazy drunken fool that you were before. Okay?

"Nod your head so that I know that you understand."

And by the way, don't leave your glass on my pool table. The water ring shows a mark on the felt.

Well to Literotica.

 

[george50]

Can you see me now? How'd you know that I'm wearing my tinfoil hat? Oftentimes I wear my tinfoil hat. It relaxes me. It keeps out all of that static noise.

So...are you admitting that you're not only George50 but also that you're Scouries and Sr71plt too?

Wow! Scratch the surface and all of the roaches run out of their holes. Only, in this case, the big rat is not three rats but only one giant rat.

So...George50 aka Scouries, aka Sr71plt, can you tell everyone that you're not a man with a foot long dick but a woman, a bitchy witch of a woman?

Also, would you care to comment that all of the gay e-Books you've supposedly have written were written by a ghostwriter? Lastly, would you be inclined to divulge who that ghostwriter is?

You being honest and telling the truth here is dependent upon whether or not we put you on ignore and shun you or welcome you back to our fold.

Finally, we're getting somewhere in the mystery of Sr71plt not being a model, an actor, a Broadway star, a diplomat, a spy, a Bible teacher, a recording star, and a famous pilot but a fraud.

You had us all fooled Scouries aka Sr71plt aka George50.

Now that we all know the truth, I, for one, forgive you. It's always best to start fresh and I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and a second chance in being a decent human being in the way that LoveCraft is.

Even though LoveCraft sets the bar high and we don't expect you to exceed those lofty expectations, we just want you to act nice and normal instead of acting like the mean, crazy drunken fool that you were before. Okay?

"Nod your head so that I know that you understand."

And by the way, don't leave your glass on my pool table. The water ring shows a mark on the felt.

Well to Literotica.

OK Susan you are making me into an honest bitch, whore, slut, lover of horse cocks,... Happy now...

I can't tell you who the ghostwriter is because IT is actually a ghost.

I'm so stupid that when I read to nod my head... I ACTUALLY DID...

You are a troublemaker ... I Love you already. Man.. Can you imagine how much shit trouble we could get into? My little sister and I were like that.

Until she became a dollarsniffingmoneyhungrybitchwhore full of herself. But I still love her...

I better stop I can hear the sirens, when I nodded the foil hat came off for a second.. Besides.. I'm busy here on line and my grand kids (males 14 and 9) are beating the shit out of of each other and since I love violence and get depressed when I don't get violent and beat kids.. I need to go watch and referee so they don't rip their balls off..

Shit these stripper heels are hurting me... Maybe I got to take that one out of my asshole....

 

[sr71plt]

I think we've finally arrived at a match built in heaven. Hope George doesn't get upset when he gets to the motel and finds out that "Susan" is a man named Freddie. (But then he did seem to be excited about that 69).

 

[george50]

I think we've finally arrived at a match built in heaven. Hope George doesn't get upset when he gets to the motel and finds out that "Susan" is a man named Freddie. (But then he did seem to be excited about that 69).

Shit... You spoil sport.. You had to burst my bubble......I was at the point that as long I didn't see her mustache.. I didn't care..

Sound of my heart.crushing..

 

[sr71plt]

Don't feel bad. Freddie has crushed a lot of hearts (along with other body parts).

 

[lovecraft68]

O...kay.

George, you just stay over there on your stripper heels thinking about that 69-which would be more of a 66 with SJP I am going to hang over here near the dart board with a Jack and coke.