No excuses, but here it is. Onus. 06

[Cruel2BKind]

https://www.literotica.com/s/onus-06


...

Not even gonna try to explain this absence.

I dun fucked up.

 

[robertreams]

He (was standing) stood in the center of his spacious kitchen(, with its) amid slick granite counters and shiny chrome (finishing). The sleeves of his green sweater were rolled (up) halfway to his elbows, showing toned forearms and lines of scars as neat as cross-ties on a railroad track.

His hands were open, palms (tilted) towards me in a universal gesture of plenty and benevolence.

What would I like? I mouthed it, changing the 'you' to an 'I', tasting the words, (and) contemplating (just) how (completely) foreign they felt in my mouth. How strange my own sense of autonomy felt, resting on my shoulders like a weight.

I shrugged. Trying to shrug off this strange new feeling. (my shoulders.)

He shrugged (right) back at me, (his) palms tilted towards me as if (his hands were boats, and the palms were) tilted towards heaven. (boats tilted to heaven?)

"I don't buy things (that) I don't like to eat. You can pick something. (and) You wont have to worry about (it being) something gross. I like to cook, so it wont be any trouble." He laughed(, a little) self-consciously. His arms, tired, dropped to his sides. "Remember the omelets?"

I nodded, (and I felt) a faint smile on my face.

"I cooked them all in about twenty minutes, (but that was) after at least an hour (of) prepping everything, so the omelets would be perfect. Whatever you want(, it) wont be as long or messy as those omelets were."

He started looking in a pantry and pulling (some) things out. "Just spitballing here..." He murmured, his head buried in the cupboard. His voice was so much quicker, easier.(quicker and easier than what?) He was almost hyper. It was a change. (from what? it seems as though you threw that in just to have something to say.)

I stood back a little, watching as he pulled out (a few things. P)pasta, cans of soup, pancake mix. He moved to the fridge (and pulled out) for a package of hamburger, some asparagus, a frozen pizza.

I poked my head in the refrigerator when he backed away a little, and looked around.) I started pulling (a few) things out, putting them together in one (spot) area on the counter, (A little) hesitantly, looking at him for confirmation.

Orange juice. A red string bag of clementines. A shiny yellow pepper. A jar of salty green olives. A bag of shredded cheese.

I edged around the kitchen, glancing at him. (I went to) From the basket on the counter (, and) I (took out for) added a tomato, an onion, and a clove of garlic pried from a half-bulb. ( in the basket. I put that in the pile.)

Last, I checked the cupboard hoping against hope. (but you don't say what he is hoping for) (It) this word refers to 'hope'). I was (a little) dizzy(ing) at seeing so much food at once, especially (and so much of it was) fresh food. I found an open bag of rice, the torn end twisted and clamped shut with a red pin. I (brought it out and put it in) added it to the pile. (try to avoid 'and' except when joining two equal things or concepts.)

I moved (the) things around, putting the pepper, tomato, garlic, rice, and shredded cheese in one pile, and everything else in another. Then I wiped my hands together, (and) looking nervously at him from under the fringe of my hair. It seemed like too much. I felt foolish, (and) a little embarrassed. I should have shrugged harder, gotten him to make a choice.

A few suggestions. I think the story can be tightened without destroying your style. I like your style a lot but it needs to flow a bit more smoothly. Do a search and destroy. Figure out a way to eliminate about half of the 'and's. You will find your writing flows much better. Since this is the only chapter I have read, it was quite confusing, The existence and meaning of the word 'onus' as in 'a burden' kept getting in the way. And how is this 'gay" if involves an alien and his fingertips? I kept waiting for a juicy alien sex scene. Not that I have to have a sex scene (I have non-erotic stories too, on a site called 'Literotica', but it is after all labled, "Gay".

 

[Katiecat]

o·nus
ˈōnəs/
noun
used to refer to something that is one's duty or responsibility.
"the onus is on you to show that you have suffered loss"
synonyms: burden, responsibility, liability, obligation, duty, weight, load, charge, mantle, encumbrance

I thought maybe he meant "opus"? But that's a musical composition. So, I don't know.

Edited to add: never mind, I read further. As a category, does sci-fi or non-human trump the gay male aspect?

 

[robertreams]

o·nus
ˈōnəs/
noun
used to refer to something that is one's duty or responsibility.
"the onus is on you to show that you have suffered loss"
synonyms: burden, responsibility, liability, obligation, duty, weight, load, charge, mantle, encumbrance

I thought maybe he meant "opus"? But that's a musical composition. So, I don't know.

Edited to add: never mind, I read further. As a category, does sci-fi or non-human would trump the gay male aspect?

Are you kidding? What would happen if one of those 100% straight guys, you know the ones who are so sure and confident about their sexuality would accidentally read something between two males. He would be tainted forever and never be able to perform again without thinking nasty thoughts about his friends and neighbors. Can't let that happen!

 

[Sammael Bard]

Edited to add: As a category, does sci-fi or non-human would trump the gay male aspect?

Gay male, IMO, because of reasons specified in the following sarcastic post:

Are you kidding? What would happen if one of those 100% straight guys, you know the ones who are so sure and confident about their sexuality would accidentally read something between two males. He would be tainted forever and never be able to perform again without thinking nasty thoughts about his friends and neighbors. Can't let that happen!

ETA: Also depends on the concentration of the GM element. If it's focused on GM more, it should go in GM category. If it's focused on Sci-Fi/Non-Human more, it should go in Sci-Fi because frankly speaking, it appears to be better than Non-Human.

 

[sr71plt]

As a category, does sci-fi or non-human would trump the gay male aspect?

Not in my experience. All of my (limited amount of) GM sci-fi and nonhuman are placed the GM category here.

 

[Katiecat]

Interesting, thanks for the clarification. When I look at straight stories, sci-fi or non-human elements seem to be a very strong indicator for category. I guess I was seeing "gay male" as the equivalent of erotic couplings and romance for straight stories, didn't realize the category was so diverse.

So how strong a trump card are gay elements? MMF where the men have any bisexual contact -- what category -- group sex? Or is that only for straight sex, and it should go in gay male?

What about gay men in a BDSM relationship -- gay male or BDSM? I have recurring characters that are lesbians, but are also in a D/s relationship, and I'm not always sure which category to choose. Are the unwritten rules more flexible for lesbian stories because straight male readers are not as likely to freak out if they read it by "accident"?

 

[Sammael Bard]

Interesting, thanks for the clarification. When I look at straight stories, sci-fi or non-human elements seem to be a very strong indicator for category. I guess I was seeing "gay male" as the equivalent of erotic couplings and romance for straight stories, didn't realize the category was so diverse.

So how strong a trump card are gay elements? MMF where the men have any bisexual contact -- what category -- group sex? Or is that only for straight sex, and it should go in gay male?

What about gay men in a BDSM relationship -- gay male or BDSM? I have recurring characters that are lesbians, but are also in a D/s relationship, and I'm not always sure which category to choose. Are the unwritten rules more flexible for lesbian stories because straight male readers are not as likely to freak out if they read it by "accident"?

AFAIK, anything Gay gets put into GM. Unless an author is a friggin' masochist, he/she should avoid posting gay male stories into other categories. It doesn't score well, and if you don't give a warning about its GM content beforehand, some readers are gonna whine how traumatised they are.

Not a sunny picture, but Manu recently talked about diversifying categories like sub-categories for Gay Male and so on. Till then, go with the flow.

 

[robertreams]

Interesting, thanks for the clarification. When I look at straight stories, sci-fi or non-human elements seem to be a very strong indicator for category. I guess I was seeing "gay male" as the equivalent of erotic couplings and romance for straight stories, didn't realize the category was so diverse.

So how strong a trump card are gay elements? MMF where the men have any bisexual contact -- what category -- group sex? Or is that only for straight sex, and it should go in gay male?

What about gay men in a BDSM relationship -- gay male or BDSM? I have recurring characters that are lesbians, but are also in a D/s relationship, and I'm not always sure which category to choose. Are the unwritten rules more flexible for lesbian stories because straight male readers are not as likely to freak out if they read it by "accident"?

you misinterpret. GM is not diverse, but all inclusive. If any male has any sexual contact with any male, it qualifies as GM ONLY!

 

[Katiecat]

you misinterpret. GM is not diverse, but all inclusive. If any male has any sexual contact with any male, it qualifies as GM ONLY!

Not misinterpreting, just trying to understand Diversity and inclusion go hand in hand -- diversity means there are a lot of variations and differences, and inclusive means those differences are all included and accepted. It may be that the gay male category is the most inclusive category with the most open, accepting readers on this site. But do those readers complain if bi characters also have straight scenes? Isn't that the point of bi characters -- that they are attracted to both genders?

It sounds like gay male is the trump card over every other category. The story can be about robots, werewolves, tentacle monsters, Cthulu, alien abduction, a summoned demon...if two males hook up, regardless of species, it goes into the gay male category.

But if the characters are lesbians, then the story would be categorized by the genre? Or is the lesbian aspect the ultimate trump category as well?

 

[sr71plt]

It sounds like gay male is the trump card over every other category. The story can be about robots, werewolves, tentacle monsters, Cthulu, alien abduction, a summoned demon...if two males hook up, regardless of species, it goes into the gay male category.

But if the characters are lesbians, then the story would be categorized by the genre? Or is the lesbian aspect the ultimate trump category as well?

Yes, I've learned to put any GM action only in GM. Lesbian doesn't seem to matter. And I've found no good place here for bi. There is no support here for bi stories.

 

[robertreams]

Once again: Diverse would be an attempt to be inclusive. This is the opposite. An intent to exclude all m2m contact to gay male only, no matter under what circumstances it occurs. Check out the "group sex" section it is all about men fucking women. There is no "bi" category and the reason is that homophobic assholes have their masculinity threatened by admitting they have feelings for the body parts of other men. This has to be true because F2F contact often occurs in other categories. If men had no feelings in "that" direction they would merely say, "ho hum, two more dicks". But because they have those tendencies (as do we all) They fear they will "change". Yet many of these same individuals, when surveyed, say their favorite part of porn is watching the cock (the bigger the better) enter the woman. Also in another recent survey the number one porn word, for men and women, is "cock". Hmm I wonder . . . could it be. . . ?

 

[lovecraft68]

Once again: Diverse would be an attempt to be inclusive. This is the opposite. An intent to exclude all m2m contact to gay male only, no matter under what circumstances it occurs. Check out the "group sex" section it is all about men fucking women. There is no "bi" category and the reason is that homophobic assholes have their masculinity threatened by admitting they have feelings for the body parts of other men. This has to be true because F2F contact often occurs in other categories. If men had no feelings in "that" direction they would merely say, "ho hum, two more dicks". But because they have those tendencies (as do we all) They fear they will "change". Yet many of these same individuals, when surveyed, say their favorite part of porn is watching the cock (the bigger the better) enter the woman. Also in another recent survey the number one porn word, for men and women, is "cock". Hmm I wonder . . . could it be. . . ?

Don't be a dip. Of course straight guys use the word cock....as in suck my, do you like my, how's that cock feel, you like sucking cock, don't you, straight men also notice the cocks in porn-although admittedly some do not want to own up that they do, but if you're watching a girl give a blow job, do you not see what they are sucking?

But seeing you like to try to quantify everything and point fingers, allow me to do the same.

Your posts are far to defensive about the fact you're gay or bi whichever you consider yourself-to tell me you yourself are comfortable with it.

All your rants and all your talk about homophobic assholes and all your 'explaining' about what's gay and what's not says you yourself are insecure and need to mask that with the false bravado of a bible thumper who when they are not touting their righteousness at church are fucking their best friend's wife while snorting coke.

So stop judging others and start looking at yourself, its not to late Robert, its okay to be you.

 

[sr71plt]

Stop ranting? Stop judging others?

 

[Katiecat]

Don't be a dip. Of course straight guys use the word cock....as in suck my, do you like my, how's that cock feel, you like sucking cock, don't you, straight men also notice the cocks in porn-although admittedly some do not want to own up that they do, but if you're watching a girl give a blow job, do you not see what they are sucking?

But seeing you like to try to quantify everything and point fingers, allow me to do the same.

Your posts are far to defensive about the fact you're gay or bi whichever you consider yourself-to tell me you yourself are comfortable with it.

All your rants and all your talk about homophobic assholes and all your 'explaining' about what's gay and what's not says you yourself are insecure and need to mask that with the false bravado of a bible thumper who when they are not touting their righteousness at church are fucking their best friend's wife while snorting coke.

So stop judging others and start looking at yourself, its not to late Robert, its okay to be you.

Okay then....Pilot and Robert, who both write a lot of gay male stories (not all, but a majority of their stories), both say that if there is any gay male interaction at all, the story should be posted in the gay male category, or the author will get bashed.

What's your take on it, Lovecraft? You have a lot of stories, but I didn't see any in the gay male category -- although I think I saw one or two lesbian stories. You get a lot of positive votes. Do you have any stories with gay male characters that you've posted in another category?

I'm not trying to veer off topic here. When I read the OP's story, my initial gut reaction was, "this belongs in sci-fi or non-human, doesn't it?" That was my personal impression as a reader, but not what I'm hearing here from other experienced authors. I find the difference between the attitudes toward lesbian sex and gay male sex -- similar to the way those two genres are considered in visual porn -- to be silly and hypocritical, but the observation of the reaction is accurate.

And I still haven't gotten a specific response to: if I have lesbian characters, how do I know if the story needs to go under lesbian sex, or if it should be categorized by genre? Specifically genres like BDSM, fetish, sci-fi, non-human, erotic horror, toys, etc.

 

[robertreams]

I am perfectly comfortable with my bisexuality, I just do not choose to label myself. There has been a thread on this site for years discussing how Laurel is 'thinking about' having a bisexual site. If you do not believe what i say, write a story of any kind where two men touch sexually and submit it to any category. It will be kicked into GM.

For me, gay is not a noun but a verb. Like Gore Vidal and others, I refuse to be labeled by other small minded individuals who can see only things by their own definition of others, refusing to look inward at their own fears. As far as judging others is concerned: If it smells like an ass hole, looks like an ass hole, but most of all it it acts like an asshole; it's probably an asshole.

 

[lowphat]

Hey Robert, how about you just worry about yourself, and let the rest of us be who we want to be? You refused to be labeled, and so do the rest of us. Just because you're bisexual, doesn't mean I am. I could easily say you're just confused about your sexuality, and believe me, millions of people would agree with me, but it wouldn't make me right.

So how about a little tolerance for us straight people?

 

[robertreams]

It isn't "straight" to attempt or succeed at limiting the venues of expression of others it is intolerant. I am abut 75-80 % straight myself, so I tolerate it quite well thank you. What i don't tolerate well is the intolerance of others who insist on limiting my freedom of expression, even on a site such as Literotica. I would love to write an ambisexual story for Lit. but homophopes won't allow it. They insist that my freedom of expression be limited by their limited definitions of "straight" "gay" "bi" "lesbian", etc. Maybe they are right. Perhaps many would change their orientation if they read a story about otherwise entirely "straight" men yearning to do what they have always been "curious" about.

 

[lowphat]

Who here is stopping you from writing something? Have you ever had a piece put in a category you didn't select? You act like we're stopping you from writing, or posting a story. The truth is, you think I should want to read your bisexual story, and I have no desire to.

That doesn't mean I'm a homaphobe, or anything else, and Robert, if my dick don't get hard, obviously I'm not interested, regardless of how badly you want me to be. Truth is, some of us really are heterosexual.

 

[robertreams]

The question was: could it be posed to Sci-fi, etc. The answer, NO! No one asked you to get hard. Or to read anything you don't want to only to be inclusive rather than exclusive.

 

[sr71plt]

Or to read anything you don't want to only to be inclusive rather than exclusive.

I think lowphat's position is that he's such a pantywaist (or so sexually confused) that he'll melt into the sidewalk if a babysitter doesn't warn him off any GM element in any story. Perhaps he should have his mommy test all of the stories first for him.

 

[lowphat]

I think lowphat's position is that he's such a pantywaist (or so sexually confused) that he'll melt into the sidewalk if a babysitter doesn't warn him off any GM element in any story. Perhaps he should have his mommy test all of the stories first for him.

This coming from a married guy that claims he gay or bisexual, and can't come out of the closet? Yeah, your opinion of my sexual state really matters a bunch to me, LOL (Fucking fruitcake)


But I like the reference to my babysitter story, and it confirms the fact that your the dumbass that kept trying to 1 bomb it.

As for Robert, the guys nothing more than an internet troll, that lies as he hides behind his keyboard and monitor.

Wakeup call you two, NOBODY CARES! Quit whining about everything at Lit, quit whining because your scores suck, or whatever pilot you sound like a baby. My son's gay, I love him dearly, and his orientation has never been an issue like you two chicken shits.

Do I want a dick in my mouth? Uh . . . no, but you two do, so great, enjoy it, but quit telling the rest of us we want one too. I'm part of the majority, and I'm proud of it. Now go be proud of the minority you're part of, and enjoy it, but quit blathering on like you know what's in my heart or head.

 

[sr71plt]

I wouldn't have guessed you even had any stories on Lit., lowphat. You seem only to be here to ineffectually bash Robert and me.

 

[lovecraft68]

This coming from a married guy that claims he gay or bisexual, and can't come out of the closet? Yeah, your opinion of my sexual state really matters a bunch to me, LOL (Fucking fruitcake)


But I like the reference to my babysitter story, and it confirms the fact that your the dumbass that kept trying to 1 bomb it.

As for Robert, the guys nothing more than an internet troll, that lies as he hides behind his keyboard and monitor.

Wakeup call you two, NOBODY CARES! Quit whining about everything at Lit, quit whining because your scores suck, or whatever pilot you sound like a baby. My son's gay, I love him dearly, and his orientation has never been an issue like you two chicken shits.

Do I want a dick in my mouth? Uh . . . no, but you two do, so great, enjoy it, but quit telling the rest of us we want one too. I'm part of the majority, and I'm proud of it. Now go be proud of the minority you're part of, and enjoy it, but quit blathering on like you know what's in my heart or head.

Pilot's not gay, nor Bi.

he is mister vanilla straight guy....but I am sure he had fantasies and desires when he was younger, but what would daddy think? Daddy would be upset if his little pride and joy daddy's boy wasn't exactly what he was supposed to be

So pilot didn't want to disappoint daddy so he did all the right things, went to the school he was told to, took the job daddy got for him and settled down with a nice woman that dad approved of(and also had a dad with enough money to take care of little pilot) and now here he is years later trying to put all those fantasies into stories, both published stories and the ones he tells in his posts.

Just ask yourself this...if Pilot were bi wouldn't his GM stories at least be decent? Same for Robert....two closet gays who never came out of the closet, but now pretend that they have.

If they were truly gay/bi and comfortable with it we would not be subjected to their constant self justification.