How Do You Blow Off Suitors

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Youre 'collared' Or Commited To Someone Or Whatever You Call It, And A New Suitor Comes Along. How Do You Discourage Or Reject The Person? Irl How Do You Get Rid Of Them?

 

[seela]

By telling them that I'm in a relationship and not interested in them and that I don't want them to try pushing my boundaries any further.

IRL it's a lot easier than online. Online I've noticed some people have a hard time understanding that no means no and they end up sending messages years after I've said no. Blocking helps in that case.

IRL I've never encountered anybody who wouldn't have believed that no means no after I've said it firmly and calmly. Maybe I've been lucky. Of course I've met my fair share of people who haven't bothered to ask before getting hands on, but even those have stopped once I've told them not to do it.

 

[desertslave]

Pretty much what Seela said.

If it gets too annoying online, I just block them.

 

[MeekMe]

I tell them I have a husband. If they persist I tell them I'm monogamous and they can go fuck themselves. Online or IRL, doesn't matter. The best thing about online is there's a block option.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Have you ever said, NO, BUT NOT REALLY?

 

[seela]

Have you ever said, NO, BUT NOT REALLY?

Meaning have I ever said no but not really meant it?

No I haven't.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Meaning have I ever said no but not really meant it?

No I haven't.

Its common. Some people, like you are congruent, many are of two minds. One mind says NEVER, and the other looks for loop-holes. Its why diets fail and the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

 

[Primalex]

Its why diets fail and the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Diets fail because they don't change your eating habit after you stopped the diet.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, because you can't predict the future.

Neither has anything to do with not being sure about something.

 

[seela]

Its common. Some people, like you are congruent, many are of two minds. One mind says NEVER, and the other looks for loop-holes. Its why diets fail and the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I do sometimes say no when I really mean maybe or yes, but never when it comes to sex, relationships or suitors or whatever. When it comes to things like that I know where my interests lie and what I'm comfortable with. I thought the question was specifically about suitors and didn't mean to paint a picture of me as a particularly congruent person. Because that I am not.

 

[may_I_please]

Just because someone identifies as submissive does not mean they cannot take care of themselves

If someone unwanted gets pushy they will get a polite rejection, if they push too hard they get to meet my fierce and feisty side

My online control play is offered not taken.

 

[Netzach]

Have you ever said, NO, BUT NOT REALLY?

I'm not the demographic in question, but I've said not really when I meant HELL NO. HELL NO is socially taboo if you don't have a penis. Sometimes even if you do. I then turn on my ability to be unbearably boring and they go away.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I do sometimes say no when I really mean maybe or yes, but never when it comes to sex, relationships or suitors or whatever. When it comes to things like that I know where my interests lie and what I'm comfortable with. I thought the question was specifically about suitors and didn't mean to paint a picture of me as a particularly congruent person. Because that I am not.

Regardless of how well we throw a ball there's no guarantee the catcher is competent. I was a catcher many years ago, alas klutzy at times.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'm not the demographic in question, but I've said not really when I meant HELL NO. HELL NO is socially taboo if you don't have a penis. Sometimes even if you do. I then turn on my ability to be unbearably boring and they go away.

My ma carried a pistol and pointed it at my nose on one occasion, linked to the word NO.

 

[seela]

I'm not the demographic in question, but I've said not really when I meant HELL NO. HELL NO is socially taboo if you don't have a penis. Sometimes even if you do. I then turn on my ability to be unbearably boring and they go away.

This. Yes.

I keep my rejections quite upbeat and light, but clear. Mostly because usually the situations don't warrant any harsh words, but partially also because saying exactly what I mean sounds too straightforward and unacceptable.

 

[Netzach]

My ma carried a pistol and pointed it at my nose on one occasion, linked to the word NO.

That's not exactly covered in how to win friends and influence people.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Just because someone identifies as submissive does not mean they cannot take care of themselves

If someone unwanted gets pushy they will get a polite rejection, if they push too hard they get to meet my fierce and feisty side

My online control play is offered not taken.

I find most submissives to present as assertive to a fault. I look for it it seems so common.

 

[FurryFury]

I say what I mean and mean what I say.

For those that can't hear or respect limits I wean or block them. Weaning has to do with me being boring, busy and so on but never what they have decided I should be to them, fun or exciting.

 

[Netzach]

This. Yes.

I keep my rejections quite upbeat and light, but clear. Mostly because usually the situations don't warrant any harsh words, but partially also because saying exactly what I mean sounds too straightforward and unacceptable.

I'm perfectly comfortable going full on confrontational if and when it's warranted, and I'm perfectly fine with telling someone to fuck off, but if I can swim out of there without anything that burns off my energy like that, allowing that other person to have their ego fix, making myself forgettable in the process, you bet that's what I'm going to do first. A conflict is still feeding their desire for interaction, a refusal is an opportunity to ask "why why why" and get in a dialogue. Being busy or dull as fuck isn't going to sustain.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

That's not exactly covered in how to win friends and influence people.

Oh! she was mannered as could be.

Once, in court, the judge ruled against her. So she raised her hand and the judge recognized her. YOUR HONOR, she said, HOW MUCH IS A CONTEMPT OF COURT FINE?

One hundred dollars, he replied.

MAY I APPROACH THE BENCH WITH MY FINE? AND WILL THE COURT ACCEPT TWENTIES?

She gave the judge the money, and said, WILL YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN MY TIME IS UP?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

One of my ancestors got 300 lashes for advising King James to go fuck himself. He wasn't the only one of my ancestors to be so rude.

 

[Netzach]

Most of my ancestors got wiped out for who they were, so I tend to have a long-haul view of ROI.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Most of my ancestors got wiped out for who they were, so I tend to have a long-haul view of ROI.

Jewish ATMs for European royals?