Do you ever start masturbating, get bored, and then quit?

[GimpyIntellect]

I seem to be doing this a lot lately.

I just don't turn myself on anymore.

 

[PoppingTom]

try whips and handcuffs.

 

[spacekowboy]

I seem to be doing this a lot lately.

I just don't turn myself on anymore.

Old age, man. Old age.

 

[jezzilee]

I seem to be doing this a lot lately.

I just don't turn myself on anymore.

Yeah, no that never happens.

 

[GimpyIntellect]

try whips and handcuffs.

That would take beating myself to a whole new level.

Old age, man. Old age.

You might be right, which is depressing.

Yeah, no that never happens.

Quit bragging. I hate you.

 

[PayDay]

Yeah, no that never happens.

Seconded.

 

[pointless]

if i get too hot i'll quit. god bless willis carrier.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'm having a hard time imaging the scenario where I would quit, mid wank. Perhaps a heart attack. But really, a honey badger could attack my dick and I'd do my best to finish with the shredded remains and get it sewed up later.

 

[scotluvsoral]

I'm having a hard time imaging the scenario where I would quit, mid wank. Perhaps a heart attack. But really, a honey badger could attack my dick and I'd do my best to finish with the shredded remains and get it sewed up later.

LMAO good one

 

[GimpyIntellect]

I'm having a hard time imaging the scenario where I would quit, mid wank. Perhaps a heart attack. But really, a honey badger could attack my dick and I'd do my best to finish with the shredded remains and get it sewed up later.

I think my problem is I've got too many tabs opened up while I'm checking out porn. I start thinking about other things I need to be getting done.

I really just need to set aside time for me and my weiner.

Thanks for listening, pmann.

 

[dolf]

usually I fall asleep.

 

[butters]

I seem to be doing this a lot lately.

I just don't turn myself on anymore.

never had that happen

 

[Lord Pmann]

I think my problem is I've got too many tabs opened up while I'm checking out porn. I start thinking about other things I need to be getting done.

I really just need to set aside time for me and my weiner.

Thanks for listening, pmann.

I would set aside some you time. You know, where you aren't distracted by other tabs. It's just you and your porn. Put the kids to bed. Send the wife to a girly night out. Light some candles. Put away all distractions. Maybe light some candles. Let it just be you and some porn. Maybe try some new porn to keep it interesting.

Have you lost interest in your hand? Has your hand maybe gotten a little heavier? Stopped shaving it's fingers? Let itself go?

 

[pink]

You've been watching me haven't you?

 

[chillywilly2]

I would set aside some you time. You know, where you aren't distracted by other tabs. It's just you and your porn. Put the kids to bed. Send the wife to a girly night out. Light some candles. Put away all distractions. Maybe light some candles. Let it just be you and some porn. Maybe try some new porn to keep it interesting.

Have you lost interest in your hand? Has your hand maybe gotten a little heavier? Stopped shaving it's fingers? Let itself go?

If there was ever a TMI moment...this is it

 

[GimpyIntellect]

I would set aside some you time. You know, where you aren't distracted by other tabs. It's just you and your porn. Put the kids to bed. Send the wife to a girly night out. Light some candles. Put away all distractions. Maybe light some candles. Let it just be you and some porn. Maybe try some new porn to keep it interesting.

Have you lost interest in your hand? Has your hand maybe gotten a little heavier? Stopped shaving it's fingers? Let itself go?

Candles, kinkier porn, and shaving of the knuckles will occur tonight.

Thank you so much, pmann. You have always been there for me in my time of need.

You've been watching me haven't you?

If I was, I would be splooging everywhere! Turn on your cam!

 

[Libsam]

I'm no quitter!

I have gotten bored of porn tho, if that happens I just find something else.
I have discerning tastes.

 

[GimpyIntellect]

I'm no quitter!

I have gotten bored of porn tho, if that happens I just find something else.
I have discerning tastes.

Please feel free to list what gets you off, Sammy.

This thread is about helping others.

 

[FGB]

Ball-less Forevermore
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pounded, weak and weary,
Over Mandy a saintly and curiously voluptuous whore--
While I prodded, nearly besotted, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chambers door.
"'Tis some lost visitor," I muttered, "Whilst I tapped away at my randy whore-- Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember I was at my peak reaming sweet December;
And each separate condom wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;-- as stamina was brought to sorrow
From my bed a wash of sorrow-- sorrow for the lost amour--
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named dirty lil whore--
For Quoth the Caven, "Ball-less forevermore.

And the silken, gad, uncertain rustling of each purple ruffle
Thrilled me-- filled me with fantastic tremors never felt before;
So that now, to still the bleating of my whore, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance Whilst I pound my voluptuous whore --Some late visitor entreating entrance Whilst I reminisce about days of yore;-- This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my tool grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was slapping, tapping away at my voluptuous whore,
And so faintly you came rapping, rapping at my chambers door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"-- naked I opened wide the door;--
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only phrase there spoken was the whispered
"Ball-less forevermore.” !"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the phrase,--
"Ball-less forevermore.”
.
Back into the chamber turning, all my cum within me burning,
Soon again I was tapping somewhat harder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice:
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore--
Let my hard be still a moment and this mystery explore;--
'Tis the wind and nothing more."
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a stutter
and eyelash flutter,
In there stepped a ex wife from the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched beside my chamber door--
Perched upon a bust of a Phallus just beside my chamber door--
Perched, and sank down, and nothing more.
Then this lost amour beguiling, my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance she wore,
"Though thy mound be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "Thou knowest here no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient slattern wandering in like the Nightly whore--
Tell me what thy current mission is, thy presence I’ve known long before!"
Quoth the woman, "Ball-less forevermore."
Much I marvelled hearing this fowlness from a woman this night plowless,
Though its answer little meaning—I knew what relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing this chick masterbate beside his chamber door--
Perched like a bird upon a sculptured Phallus beside his chamber door,
And I am named "Ball-less forevermore."

But the woman, sitting lonely on the Phallus bust, spoke only
That one phrase, as if her soul in that one phrase he did outpour.
Nothing further then she uttered-- not a eyelash did she flutter--
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other females I have known before--
On the morrow Mandy will leave me, as my Whores have flown before.
Then rolled her eyes and said, "Ball-less forevermore."
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what she utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Fucked fast and came faster till his cum her burden bore--
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Ball-less forevermore."

But the woman still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of her, bust and door;
Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to thinking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what about amours woman of yore--
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous woman of yore
Meant in croaking "Ball-less forevermore."
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowlness whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
She shall not be impressed, ah, ball-less forevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by seraphim whose balls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee-- by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite-- respite and nepenthe, from my memories of that whore;
Queef, oh Queef this kind nepenthe and forget this last whore!"
Quoth the maiden, "Ball-less forevermore."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!-- prophet still, if bitch or devil!--
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted--
On this home by Horror haunted-- tell me truly, I implore--
Is there-- is there hope yet be had?-- tell me-- tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the maiden, "Ball-less forevermore."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil-- prophet still, if bitch or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us-- by that God we both adore--
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name a dirty whore--
Clasp a bare and radiant maiden whom the angels name dirty whore."
Quoth the, maiden "Ball-less forevermore."
"Be that word our sign in parting, bitch or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting--
"Get thee back into the street and be Night's corner whore!
Leave no foul odor as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!-- quit the bust beside my door!
Take thy hand from out my hard, and take thy ass from beside my door!"
Quoth the maiden, "Ball-less forevermore."
And the maiden, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Phallus just above my chamber door;
And her eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is creaming,
And the lamp-light o'er her streaming throws her shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shallows that lies floating on the floor
Shall ne’er be lifted-- "Ball-less forevermore!"
fgarvb1 (1956-20??)

 

[PoppingTom]

*sees wall of text*

*drives around it*

 

[GimpyIntellect]

Shockingly, that didn't help.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Candles, kinkier porn, and shaving of the knuckles will occur tonight.

Thank you so much, pmann. You have always been there for me in my time of need.





If I was, I would be splooging everywhere! Turn on your cam!

No problem. I'm always willing to lend a hand.

 

[PoppingTom]

Shockingly, that didn't help.

Try harder.

Whips and handcuffs are the kick, if used the right way.

(never heard of carnage masturbation?)

 

[Emerson40]

I seem to be doing this a lot lately.

I just don't turn myself on anymore.

Maybe you need a fresh, new approach.

Try laying on your side, with your arm awkwardly underneath you for a wee bit, until your hand goes tingly, falls asleep like.

Then, with your mitt all pins and needles, have yourself a tug. I've heard this is just like masturbating with a stranger's hand, a one-night wank.

When the blood-flow restores feeling to your hand, you may experience some guilt and self loathing for cheating on yourself with yourself. Push ups may help you work through this.

Good luck, all the best.

 

[chillywilly2]

No problem. I'm always willing to lend a hand.

Now that just might work for him