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if you were asked by a film maker to do a movie of your life?

Just one movie? :mad:

I'd hold out for a Bond-style franchise. And I want a percentage, not a salary.
 
It would be fascinating watching me do engineering and calculating shit all day. It would have like two viewers.
 
pmann said:
It would be fascinating watching me do engineering and calculating shit all day. It would have like two viewers.
Click to expand...
Mine would be 2 hours of me sitting on my couch, steadily drinking more and more. Every now and then I'd yell at my dog to stop barking at the neighbors. I think you win.
 
pmann said:
It would be fascinating watching me do engineering and calculating shit all day. It would have like two viewers.
Click to expand...

Garnate said:
Mine would be 2 hours of me sitting on my couch, steadily drinking more and more. Every now and then I'd yell at my dog to stop barking at the neighbors. I think you win.
Click to expand...

How long could someone realistically watch me rub myself through my sweatpants while sobbing uncontrollably? My movie will be twice as long as that.
 
Garnate said:
Mine would be 2 hours of me sitting on my couch, steadily drinking more and more. Every now and then I'd yell at my dog to stop barking at the neighbors. I think you win.
Click to expand...

Pfft. Better than any Tyler Perry movie that's ever been made. I'd buy a ticket, because I'm positive drunk Garnate would be yelling some amazingly funny shit at the dog.

I just wonder in my movie how they are going to film the chronic masturbation scenes. I mean, I want them to look artsy, not like some porno. I really want them to capture the moment. I want them to really capture the look in my eyes when I'm about to cum. That facial expression that says, "I'm about to cum" or "I just stubbed my toe and got a whiff of a rotten banana". I need someone to capture this properly.
 
pmann said:
Pfft. Better than any Tyler Perry movie that's ever been made. I'd buy a ticket, because I'm positive drunk Garnate would be yelling some amazingly funny shit at the dog.

I just wonder in my movie how they are going to film the chronic masturbation scenes. I mean, I want them to look artsy, not like some porno. I really want them to capture the moment. I want them to really capture the look in my eyes when I'm about to cum. That facial expression that says, "I'm about to cum" or "I just stubbed my toe and got a whiff of a rotten banana". I need someone to capture this properly.
Click to expand...

You need a master team of Scorsese and Michael Bay. Can you imagine the cum shot??
 
It depends on the duckets. If they talking enough then yeah I'll do it. It would be better than Boys In The Hood and Menace To Society.
 
Garnate said:
You need a master team of Scorsese and Michael Bay. Can you imagine the cum shot??
Click to expand...

Something like this, but with way more CGI.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/enisEolQXnw/hqdefault.jpg

I'm thinking some doors and shit would be knocked down. Perhaps fireworks and sound effects. And when I'm done cumming, perhaps I could shoot the residuals with a gun and tell it to "Fuck off!!! Capiche?"

Or there could be the softer masturbatory tales. Perhaps the one that occurs every day at my office where I sneak away to masturbate at work, secretly and oh so quietly, like I'm the Anne Frank of masturbation.

There are so many angles we could take with this. I'm actually excited now. The movie will be 50% masturbation. But I'm shooting for a PG rating. Everyone needs to see this shit.
 
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I'm afraid that my body double will need a prosthetic for the sex scenes.
 
pmann said:
Something like this, but with way more CGI.

I'm thinking some doors and shit would be knocked down. Perhaps fireworks and sound effects. And when I'm done cumming, perhaps I could shoot the residuals with a gun and tell it to "Fuck off!!! Capiche?"

Or there could be the softer masturbatory tales. Perhaps the one that occurs every day at my office where I sneak away to masturbate at work, secretly and oh so quietly, like I'm the Anne Frank of masturbation.

There are so many angles we could take with this. I'm actually excited now. The movie will be 50% masturbation. But I'm shooting for a PG rating. Everyone needs to see this shit.
Click to expand...

Holy shit....the Ann Frank of masturbating at work. Goddamn it you're brilliant. :D
 
Canky's syntax is much better now that he only starts threads pasted from other forums.
 
Garnate said:
Holy shit....the Ann Frank of masturbating at work. Goddamn it you're brilliant. :D
Click to expand...

Sorry my stupid link fucked up! It wasn't supposed to be a kitty!!!

The good thing is that the joke isn't offensive at all. It appeals to all audiences.

But you have to be quite, otherwise the masturbation Nazis (Human Resources) comes in and tries to steal my right to wank away at work!!!
 
pmann said:
Sorry my stupid link fucked up! It wasn't supposed to be a kitty!!!

The good thing is that the joke isn't offensive at all. It appeals to all audiences.

But you have to be quite, otherwise the masturbation Nazis (Human Resources) comes in and tries to steal my right to wank away at work!!!
Click to expand...

I had to read it to Smiley; he's the one that called you fucking brilliant while I tried to catch my breath. I'm STILL laughing about it.
 
pmann said:
Something like this, but with way more CGI.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/enisEolQXnw/hqdefault.jpg

I'm thinking some doors and shit would be knocked down. Perhaps fireworks and sound effects. And when I'm done cumming, perhaps I could shoot the residuals with a gun and tell it to "Fuck off!!! Capiche?"

Or there could be the softer masturbatory tales. Perhaps the one that occurs every day at my office where I sneak away to masturbate at work, secretly and oh so quietly, like I'm the Anne Frank of masturbation.

There are so many angles we could take with this. I'm actually excited now. The movie will be 50% masturbation. But I'm shooting for a PG rating. Everyone needs to see this shit.
Click to expand...

Get in your closet!
 
Garnate said:
I had to read it to Smiley; he's the one that called you fucking brilliant while I tried to catch my breath. I'm STILL laughing about it.
Click to expand...

I don't think my literature teachers would have found my comparison so fitting.
 
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