Lovecraftian state nicknames

[KingOrfeo]

The State of Florida, hitherto known as "The Sunshine State," henceforth will be officially designated "The Sultry and Foetid Province of Degenerated and Mongrel Denizens Skulking in Bewildered Terror Beneath the Remorseless and Incomprehensible Light, of No Colour Hitherto Known to This Planet or Solar System, Emanating from That Amorphous Blight of Nethermost Confusion Which Blasphemes and Bubbles at the Center of All Infinity— the Boundless Daemon Sultan Azathoth, Whose Name No Lips Dare Speak Aloud, and Who Gnaws Hungrily in Inconceivable, Unlighted Chambers Beyond Time and Space Amidst the Muffled, Maddening Beating of Vile Drums and the Thin Monotonous Whine of Cracked and Accursed Flutes." And it goes on the license plates, too.

And anyone who knows anything about Florida knows the new name is at least as accurate as the old one.

Here, to work with, is a list of official (and other, abominably heretical and esoteric) state nicknames.

 

[KingOrfeo]

Hawaii, formerly "The Aloha State," is now "The Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh Wgah'nagl Fhtagn State," of course. It's the same, really -- it means both hello and goodbye.

 

[GothAngelBabe]

Love the nickname of Florida.. also known as state where people want free handouts... I live here bloody awful. The more you try to assist people the more they want, should have worked with dogs, at least they are more loving and appreciative.

The State of Florida, hitherto known as "The Sunshine State," henceforth will be officially designated "The Sultry and Foetid Province of Degenerated and Mongrel Denizens Skulking in Bewildered Terror Beneath the Remorseless and Incomprehensible Light, of No Colour Hitherto Known to This Planet or Solar System, Emanating from That Amorphous Blight of Nethermost Confusion Which Blasphemes and Bubbles at the Center of All Infinity— the Boundless Daemon Sultan Azathoth, Whose Name No Lips Dare Speak Aloud, and Who Gnaws Hungrily in Inconceivable, Unlighted Chambers Beyond Time and Space Amidst the Muffled, Maddening Beating of Vile Drums and the Thin Monotonous Whine of Accursed Flutes." And it goes on the license plates, too.

And anyone who knows anything about Florida knows the new name is at least as accurate as the old one.

Here, to work with, is a list of official (and other, abominably heretical and esoteric) state nicknames.

 

[KingOrfeo]

Minnesota, "The Land of 10,000 Lakes," is now "The Land of Shub-Niggurath, Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young."

 

[KingOrfeo]

Ohio: "The Crawling Pallid Glassy Buckeye from Beyond State."

 

[HellBenttoo]

Missouri, The "Show Me State" will now be known as "Go ahead and show me but keep in mind the facts don't matter and I will not change my mind because facts don't mean anything when you live where God loves only self-proclaimed christian white males and if you don't believe that god only loves us just look at what those nasty black folks do when they don't get their way! Amen!"

 

[KingOrfeo]

Missouri, The "Show Me State" will now be known as "Go ahead and show me but keep in mind the facts don't matter and I will not change my mind because facts don't mean anything when you live where God loves only self-proclaimed christian white males and if you don't believe that god only loves us just look at what those nasty black folks do when they don't get their way! Amen!"

Nah. Off-theme.

Missouri: "The Show Me Eldritch and Horrific Realms Unknown to the Minds of Men, Though My Mental Sanity Will Never Survive the Blasphemous Revelation State."

 

[gravyrug]

Minnesota, "The Land of 10,000 Lakes," is now "The Land of Shub-Niggurath, Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young."

During one particularly inebriated gaming session, Shub-Niggurath was dubbed, "The Stump-Broke Goat of the Woods." I'm pretty sure we all lost sanity that night.

 

[KingOrfeo]

Let us suppose hypothetically that the eternal gibbering shrieks of the shambling mongrel Washinnsmouthians of the witch-haunted District of Cthulhu* for initiation into the Inmost Circle of the most tenebrous and necrophagous cultus of the United States of Arkham were to be, at last after strange aeons, satiated with a fear-offering perversely beseeming, in its impious transgression of the most ancient and terrifying geasa of the night-whispered Codex Constitutionalis -- id est, precipitate induction of their representative wizard-priests into the Unholy Synod and the House of Re-Animators, plenary empowered to perform the most puissant and blasphemous rites of Flu'urvoht and Phl'yebastor.

State nickname?

*Separated from the familiar logic and reason of this planet and Solar System by the impassable Belt of Madness that doth swallow its own tail as the Worm Ouroboros, within which fearful legend whispers that the hidden scribe-kings and sessile war-chiefs of the Aimless City endlessly enact incomprehensible rites of unknown origin and unfathomable purpose.

 

[KingOrfeo]

During one particularly inebriated gaming session, Shub-Niggurath was dubbed, "The Stump-Broke Goat of the Woods." I'm pretty sure we all lost sanity that night.

A fitting end to the game.