First time writer

[QuietNeighbor]

Long time reader, first time writer. Here's my first story: www.literotica.com/s/vacation-27

I know it's pretty tame, but it's what turns me on. Based on a true story, but with added embellishment. I also hate the ending, and feel like it's mostly introduction. Finally, I thin it needs help with the dialogue-- seems too robotic to me so I wouldn't mind suggestions.

Anyway, enough rambling. Honest feedback appreciated, but you know, I'm not trying to be a professional writer, so not too honest!

 

[Bramblethorn]

Long time reader, first time writer. Here's my first story: www.literotica.com/s/vacation-27

I know it's pretty tame, but it's what turns me on. Based on a true story, but with added embellishment. I also hate the ending, and feel like it's mostly introduction. Finally, I thin it needs help with the dialogue-- seems too robotic to me so I wouldn't mind suggestions.

Anyway, enough rambling. Honest feedback appreciated, but you know, I'm not trying to be a professional writer, so not too honest!

I quite liked the introduction and I didn't find it too tame - I prefer stories that have a bit of lead-in and make it plausible when somebody goes out of their comfort zone. From the comments I gather you didn't intend for it to go in Group Sex; if that's the case, you might want to PM Laurel and ask her to move it to Exhibitionism/Voyeur.

Alternately you could write a Chapter 2 and extend it to an actual group story, if that's something you feel comfortable doing.

 

[QuietNeighbor]

I quite liked the introduction and I didn't find it too tame - I prefer stories that have a bit of lead-in and make it plausible when somebody goes out of their comfort zone. From the comments I gather you didn't intend for it to go in Group Sex; if that's the case, you might want to PM Laurel and ask her to move it to Exhibitionism/Voyeur.

Alternately you could write a Chapter 2 and extend it to an actual group story, if that's something you feel comfortable doing.

Thanks.

I did have a second part that was group sex, but it was very very bad! I decided after submitting I didnt like it, but couldn't withdraw, so I ended up with the chopped version. Anyway, who is "Laurel?" A mod I'm guessing?

 

[Bramblethorn]

Thanks.

I did have a second part that was group sex, but it was very very bad! I decided after submitting I didnt like it, but couldn't withdraw, so I ended up with the chopped version. Anyway, who is "Laurel?" A mod I'm guessing?

Laurel moderates all the stories and has the power to fix things like misclassified stories, yeah.