Shy Sexy Texan

[Proximus]

Thank you so much for the advice. But I will say, it's not that I'm waiting to find Mr. Right to change my situation - I just choose to keep my heart open while I work on what I need to do before leaving.

I've been following your thread for a long time... You are good people. If there is nothing left to your marriage, then its not cheating. Just keep your chin up and eventually everything will work out! I promise!

 

[k_m_d_]

Guy sounds like a douche that isn't in touch with your feelings and needs. And isn't that what you're trying to escape? You're probably better off without him.

 

[Proximus]

Guy sounds like a douche that isn't in touch with your feelings and needs. And isn't that what you're trying to escape? You're probably better off without him.

+1

 

[oodvibrations]

So this isn't an "am pic" post - it's personal - but I feel like this is my own little spot in these threads so here I come to vent.

I became friends with a man over a year ago through these forums. He and I became very close and I shared personal details of my life with him. One of these being that I'm married and the other being that I have a child.

For those of you who have befriended me over the past couple years, this is not news to you as these are not details that I hide. In short, my marriage is crap. There are several things that led to this situation but in the end we live like roommates and are far from being in love. Life is expensive and complicated - especially when you have a child. Divorce is certainly in my future, as I desperately want to finally be happy - to find "the one". But as I get finances in order so that I can adequately care for myself and my daughter, I am still married to my husband.

I don't like to label myself as a cheater - but I know that's what I am. It's not something I make a habit of or something I take lightly. I don't get off on cheating. More so than physical - I've emotionally cheated a few times. I know every "cheater" has their reason and mine really falls to finding a connection.

So back to the friend I made on here...
He disappeared for several months and reappeared back tonight. He assumed I had divorced by now - I wish I had, but no. When he found out I was still married, this is the reaction I get:
"...you disgusting leech of a selfish excuse for a woman. Seriously. You should be thrown in hell. It makes me sick that people like you even exist."
(There was more but you get the point...)

What people who aren't in situations like mine don't understand is that life sucks. (I sure we all know that). Life puts us in situations that aren't black and white. Life makes us choose between seeing something as 50% good or 50% bad. Sometimes you make choices that aren't perfect but are what you have to do to keep your head above water. And yes, the stabing pain of loneliness feels like you're drowning.

So am I really that awful? I know cheating is wrong, but when neither party is in love and are just moving through the motions, is what I'm doing that bad? And mind you, I'm the bread winner this house so I'm not exactly "leeching". But maybe I am...maybe I'm just a horrible person that really does deserve hell - or at least "friends"like this guy.

(Stepping off my soapbox) Thanks for letting me vent....

it's the social pressure of putting everything in boxes that is horrible

 

[StacyLeigh]

That is very true. He was a good friend in the past but I've already said my goodbyes.

Guy sounds like a douche that isn't in touch with your feelings and needs. And isn't that what you're trying to escape? You're probably better off without him.

+1

 

[oodvibrations]

That is very true. He was a good friend in the past but I've already said my goodbyes.

also we get so hung up on what is 'good' and what is 'bad'.

 

[Proximus]

That is very true. He was a good friend in the past but I've already said my goodbyes.

Good for you!

 

[PattiJolene]

So where did this guy disappear too....did he say he was leaving the site? l don't think there is anything wrong with chatting and looking for compassion on here...Like someone else said a few posts up....a lot of people are in a loveless marriage....people stay in a marriage for a lot of reasons. Kids is number one. Finances is a second....l really want to know where this guy went for a few months. If he was into you then he would understand your situation.

 

[StacyLeigh]

Beyond being "into me" he truly was a friend. I didn't ask him where he went (his personal ad post pretty much summed it up) but he expected me to "grow some balls" in his absence and get a divorce.

So where did this guy disappear too....did he say he was leaving the site? l don't think there is anything wrong with chatting and looking for compassion on here...Like someone else said a few posts up....a lot of people are in a loveless marriage....people stay in a marriage for a lot of reasons. Kids is number one. Finances is a second....l really want to know where this guy went for a few months. If he was into you then he would understand your situation.

 

[k_m_d_]

That is very true. He was a good friend in the past but I've already said my goodbyes.

There's some saying about it being easy to be good friends when things are good. Sometimes those people can turn on you in a second when things stop being favorable for them.

 

[StacyLeigh]

That sums up most of my relationships.

There's some saying about it being easy to be good friends when things are good. Sometimes those people can turn on you in a second when things stop being favorable for them.

 

[Proximus]

That sums up most of my relationships.

and that's a shame... you deserve so much better.

 

[Van093]

So this isn't an "am pic" post - it's personal - but I feel like this is my own little spot in these threads so here I come to vent.

I became friends with a man over a year ago through these forums. He and I became very close and I shared personal details of my life with him. One of these being that I'm married and the other being that I have a child.

For those of you who have befriended me over the past couple years, this is not news to you as these are not details that I hide. In short, my marriage is crap. There are several things that led to this situation but in the end we live like roommates and are far from being in love. Life is expensive and complicated - especially when you have a child. Divorce is certainly in my future, as I desperately want to finally be happy - to find "the one". But as I get finances in order so that I can adequately care for myself and my daughter, I am still married to my husband.

I don't like to label myself as a cheater - but I know that's what I am. It's not something I make a habit of or something I take lightly. I don't get off on cheating. More so than physical - I've emotionally cheated a few times. I know every "cheater" has their reason and mine really falls to finding a connection.

So back to the friend I made on here...
He disappeared for several months and reappeared back tonight. He assumed I had divorced by now - I wish I had, but no. When he found out I was still married, this is the reaction I get:
"...you disgusting leech of a selfish excuse for a woman. Seriously. You should be thrown in hell. It makes me sick that people like you even exist."
(There was more but you get the point...)

What people who aren't in situations like mine don't understand is that life sucks. (I sure we all know that). Life puts us in situations that aren't black and white. Life makes us choose between seeing something as 50% good or 50% bad. Sometimes you make choices that aren't perfect but are what you have to do to keep your head above water. And yes, the stabing pain of loneliness feels like you're drowning.

So am I really that awful? I know cheating is wrong, but when neither party is in love and are just moving through the motions, is what I'm doing that bad? And mind you, I'm the bread winner this house so I'm not exactly "leeching". But maybe I am...maybe I'm just a horrible person that really does deserve hell - or at least "friends"like this guy.

(Stepping off my soapbox) Thanks for letting me vent....

Stacie I'm a bit shocked at the reaction. It seems way over the top. I guess he falls into that small percentage of people for which life is clear, simple and easy. For the rest of us it is work, sometimes hard and very painful work. You are a stronger person than you know for being able to keep your head together and make the best of a bad situation for you and your daughter. Lastly, you deserve to be happy and in no way are you a horriblr person.

There, I've said my piece...

 

[k_m_d_]

That sums up most of my relationships.

Well, keep trying until they end up being the minority, I guess.

 

[Mebtaz2000]

Sounds like the guy has his own issues and is taking it out on you. I am remined of the saying "methinks thou dost protest too much" That much venom can't be coming from a healthy place and I think you are wise to seperate yourself from it.

 

[SweetSam42]

Hi Stacy,

We've never interacted, but I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry this man said these things to you. Please don't think you're a horrible person. Marriage and family and divorce are complicated, as many of us here understand. I can only begin to understand what a betrayal this must feel like. People can be so hurtful.

Wishing you and your little one happiness in 2015.

 

[playm0mum]

Hugs to you.
I can relate first hand and am sending you strong thoughts.
He for one cannot judge. First off, the site he was interacting on does not make him a saint, and secondly he knew you were married and still continued the friendship.

You my dear have done nothing wrong. Being in a marriage as roommates is incredibly lonely and leaves a void that always aches. You thought you found an online connection meanwhile, and that in itself, is often support enough to get through the final steps when ending a marriage. Divorce is never part of anyones plan when they say 'I do'. But neither is a lack of partnership.
Don't let someone you don't respect effect your emotions. They don't deserve that right.
xoxo

 

[multitalentman]

Beyond being "into me" he truly was a friend. I didn't ask him where he went (his personal ad post pretty much summed it up) but he expected me to "grow some balls" in his absence and get a divorce.

Very little in a relationship is clear cut and simple. Shit happens. If your "friend" isn't willing to be as patient with you as you need him to be, he isn't the guy for you. He just weeded himself out of the selection process. You are better off knowing what you now know even though it hurts a lot. It obviously could have been much worse. Imagine what would have happened if you had gotten further invested into a "real life" relationship and something stressful happened? He did you a favor by exposing his true character when he did, no matter how much it hurts now.
I am sorry that you had to experience this .

 

[Melissa29]

lol "everybody look at my boobs and now agree with my personal shit"

wasnt aware this was a teenagers myspace page

its funny though lol "+1" "aww bb i agree with whatever you say anyone who doesnt like you is a douche" no idea how people honestly get off on these things. you have a daughter too? i raised mine (two beautiful girls) myself. and I tend to have little respect for people in your self-admited situation. but you do you lol. and i'm glad you can find so much assurance in little quips of text from horny boys who just want to see more tits lol.

 

[StacyLeigh]

I tend to be known as the "nice girl" but seriously FUCK OFF.

It's pretty funny that the last time you posted, "Melissa", was to the personal ad of the same asshole who said these things to me. So you either know him and are sticking up for him or you're him.... Either way, grow the fuck up.

lol "everybody look at my boobs and now agree with my personal shit"

wasnt aware this was a teenagers myspace page

its funny though lol "+1" "aww bb i agree with whatever you say anyone who doesnt like you is a douche" no idea how people honestly get off on these things. you have a daughter too? i raised mine (two beautiful girls) myself. and I tend to have little respect for people in your self-admited situation. but you do you lol. and i'm glad you can find so much assurance in little quips of text from horny boys who just want to see more tits lol.

 

[Melissa29]

ahh, shes a stable one too. surprise!

get off the internet if you can't take literally one person disagreeing with you. really? gonna go get your threadfull of mindless zombie agreeing boys on me now? lol

i wish the best for your daughter. she sounds like a precious gift and dont let anyone take that from you. But look at yourself. is this the woman you want her to grow up into? To learn from and idolize?

I wish you well (even though you just told me to fuckoff lol) and hope that you too one day can "grow the fuck up"

 

[PattiJolene]

Well...if he was a true friend l think he would have had more understanding and support. Sometimes the circumstances surrounding the situation makes it harder for some then others to just walk away..

 

[Superman2008]

Stacy,

You have to do what is best for YOU. I completely understand where you are coming from. I understood it a year ago. Do what is best for YOU and that beautiful baby girl. No one can make you happy but YOU.

I truly hope you find " The One " You have earned it.

So this isn't an "am pic" post - it's personal - but I feel like this is my own little spot in these threads so here I come to vent.

I became friends with a man over a year ago through these forums. He and I became very close and I shared personal details of my life with him. One of these being that I'm married and the other being that I have a child.

For those of you who have befriended me over the past couple years, this is not news to you as these are not details that I hide. In short, my marriage is crap. There are several things that led to this situation but in the end we live like roommates and are far from being in love. Life is expensive and complicated - especially when you have a child. Divorce is certainly in my future, as I desperately want to finally be happy - to find "the one". But as I get finances in order so that I can adequately care for myself and my daughter, I am still married to my husband.

I don't like to label myself as a cheater - but I know that's what I am. It's not something I make a habit of or something I take lightly. I don't get off on cheating. More so than physical - I've emotionally cheated a few times. I know every "cheater" has their reason and mine really falls to finding a connection.

So back to the friend I made on here...
He disappeared for several months and reappeared back tonight. He assumed I had divorced by now - I wish I had, but no. When he found out I was still married, this is the reaction I get:
"...you disgusting leech of a selfish excuse for a woman. Seriously. You should be thrown in hell. It makes me sick that people like you even exist."
(There was more but you get the point...)

What people who aren't in situations like mine don't understand is that life sucks. (I sure we all know that). Life puts us in situations that aren't black and white. Life makes us choose between seeing something as 50% good or 50% bad. Sometimes you make choices that aren't perfect but are what you have to do to keep your head above water. And yes, the stabing pain of loneliness feels like you're drowning.

So am I really that awful? I know cheating is wrong, but when neither party is in love and are just moving through the motions, is what I'm doing that bad? And mind you, I'm the bread winner this house so I'm not exactly "leeching". But maybe I am...maybe I'm just a horrible person that really does deserve hell - or at least "friends"like this guy.

(Stepping off my soapbox) Thanks for letting me vent....

 

[StacyLeigh]

Moving on and forging ahead

Thanks everyone for the support. I really just posted here to vent a little after an upsetting encounter, but I should have known I'd recieve such plentiful and caring support.

Thank you

PS: Melissa, I can handle any kind of criticism - what I don't appreciate and what I won't look the other way at is judgemental bitchiness.

 

[Deleted member 1300976]

Thanks everyone for the support. I really just posted here to vent a little after an upsetting encounter, but I should have known I'd recieve such plentiful and caring support.

Thank you

PS: Melissa, I can handle any kind of criticism - what I don't appreciate and what I won't look the other way at is judgemental bitchiness.

Vent away pretty girl The least we can do is listen and give you a different point of view, some advice or just a minor distraction. Real life isn't always easy for everyone, and it doesn't matter how or where you deal with it, as long as your not letting it fester inside and eat you up. Without getting into the details of things, just go with the positive flow coming your way and try to find your reasons to smile again