Kink as a sexual orientation

[Betticus]

I thought this was interesting.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/08/18/is_kink_a_sexual_orientation.html

 

[AmberLynn69]

Great article, I agree ....

 

[Netzach]

Yeah, no not really.

And I'm both. And they're both as programmed into me as my hair color.

And it's not the same. At all.

 

[Netzach]

I totally invite queer people who are in LTR's with same sex partners, who are also pervs, to disagree with me, though.

*anticipating more or less crickets*

 

[Stella_Omega]

Some of the many things that inform our identities;
Gender, from "male" to "female" with many points in between;
sexual orientation, from same sex exclusively to opposite sex exclusively, with many stops in between (including all the side steps engendered by our encounters with that first spectrum)
sexual preference, from vanilla to parahilia, and all that lies between (including sado-masochism which isn't even close to the last point on that spectrum)
relationship orientation, which mimics sexual orientation and usually is parallel but not always;
and something that I'm not sure what to call it but is perhaps intensity of desire-- from asexual to hypersexual likewise from a-romantic to hyper romantic.
I'm sure there are plenty other spectra that I'm not thinking about.


Speaking as a queer both in gender and orientation, AND as someone who just doesn't do vanilla sex, AND as a hypersexual aromantic-- I would greatly appreciate the courtesy of allowing all of those aspects of the human spectrum their seperate ummm... damn I can't think of a word. Channels.

They certainly all intersect, no doubt about that.

 

[BiBunny]

Yeah, no not really.

And I'm both. And they're both as programmed into me as my hair color.

And it's not the same. At all.

Agreed.

I totally invite queer people who are in LTR's with same sex partners, who are also pervs, to disagree with me, though.

*anticipating more or less crickets*

I suspect you're right about the crickets as well.

 

[IrisAlthea]

No, I don't think it's the same.

I also think anyone who expects getting kink looked at as an orientation will put a stop to people who "blog that I’m a threat to children, tweet that I’m “damaged and repulsive,” and email that I should be forcibly institutionalized",
is in for a big disappointment.

 

[FurryFury]

The same? I wouldn't know.

Is kink something hardwired in me? Yes.

Do I think being gay is hardwired into my polyamorous, gender queer, homoflexible, sadomasochist, adult daugther? Yes.

Do I think being kinky is? Yes again.

The other day I asked her how she was doing. "How are you doing baby girl?" She replied, "I'm not a girl."

"Okay so how should I put that question?"

"How are you doing baby?"

"How about how are you doing baby child?"

Habits however are hard to break. I am trying.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The other day I asked her how she was doing. "How are you doing baby girl?" She replied, "I'm not a girl."

I know it's hard...

 

[midwestyankee]

Some of the many things that inform our identities;
Gender, from "male" to "female" with many points in between;
sexual orientation, from same sex exclusively to opposite sex exclusively, with many stops in between (including all the side steps engendered by our encounters with that first spectrum)
sexual preference, from vanilla to parahilia, and all that lies between (including sado-masochism which isn't even close to the last point on that spectrum)
relationship orientation, which mimics sexual orientation and usually is parallel but not always;
and something that I'm not sure what to call it but is perhaps intensity of desire-- from asexual to hypersexual likewise from a-romantic to hyper romantic.
I'm sure there are plenty other spectra that I'm not thinking about.


Speaking as a queer both in gender and orientation, AND as someone who just doesn't do vanilla sex, AND as a hypersexual aromantic-- I would greatly appreciate the courtesy of allowing all of those aspects of the human spectrum their seperate ummm... damn I can't think of a word. Channels.

They certainly all intersect, no doubt about that.

This is one of the most fascinating posts I've read here in a very long time. This. Makes. Me. Think. In ways that I haven't previously and that should be a part of my view of life.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I worry about these things...

 

[desertslave]

I finally made time to read the article. Hmmm

I agree with "BDSM is (technically) how I love my husband." It's a truth, an absolute, in our relationship. We've had some vanilla-ish sex, but not often and not for long. The BDSM creeps in, no matter what. Thank the gods!

The rest of the article is...I don't know how to describe it. It just doesn't grok in the same way at all.

I *am* bisexual. I have been for several years before my BDSM inclinations were elicited. And in my first, second, and third "girl on girl" encounters I was the initiator/aggressor. As far as that goes, anyway, because I've never had a kink-laced relationship with another woman.

Whatever. All I know is that I've had some wonderful relationships with some wonderful people. Gender wasn't really the point, and neither was kink. It's always been about the people who interested and attracted me.

 

[FurryFury]

Yep. Working on it.

I know it's hard...

 

[Kitty]

I thought this was interesting.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/08/18/is_kink_a_sexual_orientation.html

You know, I've ruefully argued with people about what qualifies as a sexual orientation. I've even been trapped in debates about whether pedophilia and incest are sexual orientations. These days people get so pissed off about labels yet they ironically are so quick to call themselves something in the hopes of legitimizing it. Sexual orientation involves the gender and the sexual attraction to it, and the practice with this gender. Nothing more, nothing less. Kink is a form of sexual expression, but not an orientation. However, orientation normally is included on a census or something official. I don't think I'll ever see while like applying for a job or filling out a government document, "Are you straight, gay...into dogs...kinky?" lol