Young married man not satisfied

[Remy88]

I am a 27 year old guy who loves his wife. We got married about 1 year ago and already for some time the sex has been less than stellar. When we first got married we fucked and sucked like crazy a couple times a day and then the well dried up.

Another problem is I have an extremely high sex drive and she doesn't. I jerk my cock twice a day on average. Sometimes we will go a week or two without sex. Which drives me to jerk off and watch porn even more or even have more and more thoughts about cheating. I love dirty things during sex. I love to lick puss and ass but she hates both and never lets me do either one. My frustration is huge. She only wants vanilla sex but I crave A much kinkier sex life. I have tried talking to her but it doesn't seem to work.

Any thoughts?

 

[Harold_Hill]

You can't make your wife into what she doesn't want to be. And if your sex drive is higher than your wife's, your options are limited. You can either live the way your wife wants to live sexually, or you can look for something different. One way, your marriage is safe, the other way, maybe not. Sounds like you're looking for an option you don't have.

 

[GrrlFriday]

How does your wife describe your married sex life?

 

[Remy88]

She thinks sex is not that important, which is totally contrary to my way of thinking. I've tried to talk to her about more kinky things and to tell her that I need more sex than just once every week.

I know I'm in a tough spot because I love my wife but on the other hand I need certain sexual desires fulfilled. Lately ive been talking more and more to different women on line and I've jerked my cock for a few of them On cam but that is as far as I've went. I dunno where I'm at.

 

[LadyVer]

I'm kind of wondering why the well dried up. Doesn't sound like you had a child, so I'm wondering which well dried up, and why.

 

[Que]

In lieu of my usually long version:

Your wife is not attracted at the moment. You are not doing the things that build arousal in a woman. You (and she) probably don't remember or didn't realize what it was at the time that you used to do that she did find attractive.

I am guessing you are, in an effort to get more sex, being especially solicitous, helping around the house, trying to make space for sex to happen. All to no avail?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

She's getting it elsewhere.

 

[Curmudgeonly]

She's getting it elsewhere.

Perhaps not yet, but that is what eventually happens. She will rationalize that you are "oversexed" and find a manly man to confide her troubles in. She will be quite sure that one thing just led to another....

I'd lay off the porn and the jerk-fest....Messes up your mojo.

 

[MistressKate11]

I'm not sure why I feel compelled to comment here, but I do. Only a year in and the sex has dried up? Ouch. I'm just wondering did you have sex before you got married? I find it such a sad state that couples are compatible in most ways except sexually. I see this so often here on lit. It baffles my mind. I'm not sure what the answer is, it sounds like you've tried communicating with her about your needs. Good luck. I am sad to say you are not alone.

 

[Harold_Hill]

Do you really think he is helping around the house and trying to make space for sex? Or do you think he is like a lot of husbands after the honeymoon is over, complaining that he isn't getting enough. He sounds more like a husband that has forgotten that sex, (even with one's own wife), takes romance and seduction. Just my opinion, but he sounds like a man who has let life get in the way of romance with his wife. Contrary to the old joke, but a wife isn't a gadget that you screw on the bed and it does the house work. Even though married, she is still a women, and a woman needs romance and seduction.

And what is his solution? Beating his meat while talking to other women online. I wonder what makes him think his wife isn't doing the same thing? A woman needs romance, and she likely isn't getting her needs met either.

 

[Harold_Hill]

To the OP

I'd lay off the porn and the jerk-fest....Messes up your mojo.

This is sage advice: take it!

 

[Que]

Do you really think he is helping around the house and trying to make space for sex? Or do you think he is like a lot of husbands after the honeymoon is over, complaining that he isn't getting enough. He sounds more like a husband that has forgotten that sex, (even with one's own wife), takes romance and seduction. Just my opinion, but he sounds like a man who has let life get in the way of romance with his wife. Contrary to the old joke, but a wife isn't a gadget that you screw on the bed and it does the house work. Even though married, she is still a women, and a woman needs romance and seduction.

And what is his solution? Beating his meat while talking to other women online. I wonder what makes him think his wife isn't doing the same thing? A woman needs romance, and she likely isn't getting her needs met either.

Yep, I do. He hasn't been married long, he wants more sex and it is always what men try first. Accommodation and appeasement. If it worked there would be no sexless marriages. I will do a lot of dishes for a blowjob.

Problem is it doesn't work. The very large sample size study that was supposed to prove that it would work ended up proving the opposite.

I always recommend Athol Kaye. I found him a bit late, but his advice is the only I have seen (other than JBJ) that has a shot at working.

And yeah, lay off the jerking. It puts space between and you need to be lean and hungry. Suck it up.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot1gIsrL9T0

YESTERDAYS PAPERS.

 

[Que]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot1gIsrL9T0

YESTERDAYS PAPERS.

Apt.

"All of these people just can't wait
To fall right into their big mistake "

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

http://www.ultimatecarpage.com/images/gallery/palmbeach2006/1211.jpg



I spent yesterday in the company of my 18 year old grandson.

He's a prince in every sense of the word. 6-4 tall, looks like Derek Jeter, is an athlete with a full ride scholarship, great scholarship, women cant get enough of him, and he has a yum-boat girl friend...but he treats her like she's chic fashion rather than timeless. And timeless is the key that unlocks the door to real love and passion.

Twenty years ago we visited the Auburn, Cord, and Duesenberg Museum in Indiana. His mother was seriously impressed with a 1932 Duesenberg owned by Gary Cooper sixty years earlier. The car is timeless. A 1978 Pacer it is not.

 

[FGB]

I am a 27 year old guy who loves his wife. We got married about 1 year ago and already for some time the sex has been less than stellar. When we first got married we fucked and sucked like crazy a couple times a day and then the well dried up.

Another problem is I have an extremely high sex drive and she doesn't. I jerk my cock twice a day on average. Sometimes we will go a week or two without sex. Which drives me to jerk off and watch porn even more or even have more and more thoughts about cheating. I love dirty things during sex. I love to lick puss and ass but she hates both and never lets me do either one. My frustration is huge. She only wants vanilla sex but I crave A much kinkier sex life. I have tried talking to her but it doesn't seem to work.

Any thoughts?

Yes.

You sure fucked up this time!

I just divorced a woman I was married to for Twenty-Two years. The same things you described was only one of the major factors involved but it was a factor!

At Twenty-Seven I would try to fix this situation for about a year and than if I could not well, you are both young enough to start over.

You are just going to have to tell her like it is and if a workable solution cannot be found...Divorce.

Wisdom born of frustration and pain.

 

[hornydesibitch]

chat with me and whack offf

 

[Eilan]

^^ Is probably a dude.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

^^ Is probably a dude.

that's so cute.. how you said, "probably"

 

[Eilan]

that's so cute.. how you said, "probably"

HA!!

 

[IrisAlthea]

She thinks sex is not that important, which is totally contrary to my way of thinking.

Wouldn't it be great if people took the time to find out about these things before they marry?

 

[pplwatching]

.........

 

[southern_gal]

Wouldn't it be great if people took the time to find out about these things before they marry?

Sometimes things (and people) do change after marriage but usually it takes a few years or perhaps a major life changing event. It's not really normal for a paradigm shift to occur right out of the blue.

So, to your point, yes some things are best to know before the I do's are said and not just assume it will be what you want or need.

 

[GrrlFriday]

She thinks sex is not that important, which is totally contrary to my way of thinking. I've tried to talk to her about more kinky things and to tell her that I need more sex than just once every week.

I know I'm in a tough spot because I love my wife but on the other hand I need certain sexual desires fulfilled. Lately ive been talking more and more to different women on line and I've jerked my cock for a few of them On cam but that is as far as I've went. I dunno where I'm at.

If she thinks that sex is not that important, then the long-term situation doesn't look good. What does your wife consider important? How can you make sex more important to her?

 

[SweetErika]

Don't cheat - surely you care about her enough even just as a fellow human being to not risk hurting her like that.

If your values regarding sex are that far apart, perhaps it's time to have a heart-to-heart with her and ask her if you can make a decision together about where to go from here. Maybe you both decide to work on it, find a compromise that will work for both of you long term, or go your separate ways.

If you do decide you're too mismatched to make it work long term (and through even lower sexual lows, which definitely happen with life changes), then thank your lucky stars you two figured that out before you added kids and/or more assets into the equation and have more time to be happy with partners who are better matches.