I ate a slice of pizza today, and now may shit my pants

[LadyFunkenstein]

Two weeks ago there was a birthday celebration at work. I did the happy birthday thing then went back to my office. Ten minutes later I went to refill my water and the group was still standing around together.

"Oh, you didn't get a cupcake, Funk. Here you go!"

Without thinking i said, "No thanks, I don't eat cupcakes." Cue eye rolling from all... "Fine. Suit yourself. More for the rest of us." Yup. I am the Office Asshole. The Food Nazi. I should have just taken the fucking cupcake back to my office then trashed it.

Today there was pizza. I only discovered there was pizza when I went to get my salad out of the fridge. "Yum, pizza!" I lied. "This is so delicious!" and I ate a big old slice. Now I feel like I am going to doot my pants - I am very lactose intolerant, especially when it comes to a young, soft cheese like mozzarella. This is Peer Pressure.

The storm is already brewing...

 

[BotanyBoy]

Don't trust your farts!!

 

[unregistered]

 

[Busybody]

Then your new handle will be

Lady FunkenStain!

 

[Busybody]

Then your new handle will be

Lady FunkenStain!

do I deserve a TEE HEE for this or what

 

[Stewart_Pidd]

just leave them a pan of brownies bro!

Stew

 

[girlsmiley]

I just love the fact that you typed 'doot'.

Over here some people (me mainly) say 'take it up the doot'. Like for example when you're getting rammed by your boss. Basically, you're taking it up the doot.

I just thought I would share that.

 

[Busybody]

I just love the fact that you typed 'doot'.

Over here some people (me mainly) say 'take it up the doot'. Like for example when you're getting rammed by your boss. Basically, you're taking it up the doot.

I just thought I would share that.

thanks for sharing

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

do I deserve a TEE HEE for this or what

Hilarious!

I just love the fact that you typed 'doot'.

Over here some people (me mainly) say 'take it up the doot'. Like for example when you're getting rammed by your boss. Basically, you're taking it up the doot.

I just thought I would share that.

I don't know where I got the word doot but have been using it for years. It makes me laugh every time.

 

[Busybody]

Hilarious!



.

http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2012/10/sarah_parenting/baby-crying.jpg

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Funk just handed the scat fetishers a gold mine.

When Vetteman catches wind of this thread, he's not gonna be able to stop stroking his baloney for hours.

http://reactiongifs.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/ducks-laughing.gif

 

[RjThoughts]

Two weeks ago there was a birthday celebration at work. I did the happy birthday thing then went back to my office. Ten minutes later I went to refill my water and the group was still standing around together.

"Oh, you didn't get a cupcake, Funk. Here you go!"

Without thinking i said, "No thanks, I don't eat cupcakes." Cue eye rolling from all... "Fine. Suit yourself. More for the rest of us." Yup. I am the Office Asshole. The Food Nazi. I should have just taken the fucking cupcake back to my office then trashed it.

Today there was pizza. I only discovered there was pizza when I went to get my salad out of the fridge. "Yum, pizza!" I lied. "This is so delicious!" and I ate a big old slice. Now I feel like I am going to doot my pants - I am very lactose intolerant, especially when it comes to a young, soft cheese like mozzarella. This is Peer Pressure.

The storm is already brewing...

Peer pressure is no excuse. Just tell them, "No thank you."

I don't eat fish, and have no problems telling others why I don't, even in social and business situations.

 

[girlsmiley]

Lactose intolerant. That explains why you would not eat the yoghurt and fruit. I was wondering about that for days.

I really appreciate how open and cool people are at my work about what they can and can't eat. Some people don't eat pork and shellfish. So what? More for me. Some people are lactose intolerant so we have soy milk for them. Many are allergic to nuts. We have gluten free options and vegetarian options and I think it's great. Everyone's happy.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Pookie]

Peer pressure is no excuse. Just tell them, "No thank you."

I don't eat fish, and have no problems telling others why I don't, even in social and business situations.

I agree, but I'm going for the pizza ... even if it gives me the doots.

 

[RjThoughts]

Lactose intolerant. That explains why you would not eat the yoghurt and fruit. I was wondering about that for days.

I really appreciate how open and cool people are at my work about what they can and can't eat. Some people don't eat pork and shellfish. So what? More for me. Some people are lactose intolerant so we have soy milk for them. Many are allergic to nuts. We have gluten free options and vegetarian options and I think it's great. Everyone's happy.

People are more tolerant with people's food choices. And that's a good thing.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

Peer pressure is no excuse. Just tell them, "No thank you."

I don't eat fish, and have no problems telling others why I don't, even in social and business situations.

No one care whether one eats fish or not. Certain types of people (ok, chubby ones) do not like to hear that someone does not eat sweets.

 

[RjThoughts]

No one care whether one eats fish or not. Certain types of people (ok, chubby ones) do not like to hear that someone does not eat sweets.

I've never had a problem with others not eating cake, pie, cupcakes. More for me

 

[girlsmiley]

People are more tolerant with people's food choices. And that's a good thing.

Exactly. And not so ignorant.

 

[Skiddles2014]

Pics or it never happened.

 

[Joeybagadonuts]

Two weeks ago there was a birthday celebration at work. I did the happy birthday thing then went back to my office. Ten minutes later I went to refill my water and the group was still standing around together.

"Oh, you didn't get a cupcake, Funk. Here you go!"

Without thinking i said, "No thanks, I don't eat cupcakes." Cue eye rolling from all... "Fine. Suit yourself. More for the rest of us." Yup. I am the Office Asshole. The Food Nazi. I should have just taken the fucking cupcake back to my office then trashed it.

Today there was pizza. I only discovered there was pizza when I went to get my salad out of the fridge. "Yum, pizza!" I lied. "This is so delicious!" and I ate a big old slice. Now I feel like I am going to doot my pants - I am very lactose intolerant, especially when it comes to a young, soft cheese like mozzarella. This is Peer Pressure.

The storm is already brewing...

shoulda just told em to fuck off.

 

[Noor]

I feel for you...

I know how tempting pizza can be, I swear it sings to me in a special way. I always try to remember the consequences of the last time, it takes days, sometimes more for my body to get back to normal, but sometimes pizza wins.

I can't have wheat or dairy, and people are always making me this gluten free stuff that is loaded with dairy. If it's special to them, I ask if I can take it with me for later.

 

[RjThoughts]

I know how tempting pizza can be, I swear it sings to me in a special way. I always try to remember the consequences of the last time, it takes days, sometimes more for my body to get back to normal, but sometimes pizza wins.

I can't have wheat or dairy, and people are always making me this gluten free stuff that is loaded with dairy. If it's special to them, I ask if I can take it with me for later.

See, people will accept that as a reason for declining a slice, but if I do, saying that I have an allergy to tomatoes, I receive eyerolls, head shakes, and "Oh bullshit."

 

[Noor]

See, people will accept that as a reason for declining a slice, but if I do, saying that I have an allergy to tomatoes, I receive eyerolls, head shakes, and "Oh bullshit."

I also have a bell pepper allergy and I get that disbelief all the time. I usually tell them I am not into trac tubes and they get it.

 

[RjThoughts]

I also have a bell pepper allergy and I get that disbelief all the time. I usually tell them I am not into trac tubes and they get it.

Mine's not that bad: fevers, rashes, hives/acne, sweats are all I get. I can touch poison ivy and poison oak without problems, but I touch the plants of the four nightshade relatives - tomatoes, potatoes, eggplants, and bell peppers - and I break out and need Cordizone cream