Why are people sexually bold online but quiet, shy and introverted in real life?

[Biblackchick83]

...or crazy????


I haven't meant anyone online in a long time, but I talk to people online who present themselves as something that they ARE NOT offline. I would say the majority of the people I've meant are shy and introverted. There was only one time where I meant a woman who was bold and sexual, but that didn't last too long. Then you got people who have fake pictures, lie about themselves, etc.

I started talking to this girl a few years ago, and she claimed to be gay even though she had four kids. Well she turned out to be a total nutcase! I told her that I didnt want to talk anymore, cause I found her mugshot online, and she cyber stalked me! She sent messages to all of my family members on facebook.

After that experience I havent had a big desire to meet people online. Either they end up being crazy, introverted and too shy, non-talkative, etc. I'm not the biggest talker myself, but I can carry a damn conversation.

 

[HoldYouDown]

People don't risk rejection or humiliation online the way they might in real life.

Personally it's why I prefer to meet people in real life. I don't mind being rejected. The way I see it, there's always another woman if that one doesn't want to spent time with me. And it separates me from most people who are indeed not that bold. I also wouldn't wait around for a "bold" woman since I prefer I be the outgoing one and she be the shy one, if that makes sense.

 

[Touch_72]

It's the "online persona" phenomenon. People feel more secure letting certain sides of themselves out online that they might be a little more hesitant to in real life.

As for the crazies, keep your personal info personal. Don't share a full name or have it in your email address or link anyone to your facebook. It can save you the same sort of headache you went through with the crazy you mentioned.

 

[janetsexy77]

I have had the same experience...People in real life can be very, very different than their online persona. One person I had been chatting with online was very talkative and friendly on the net, couldn't wait to meet me, said he wanted to make out with me and asked to spend the night...When we met in my hotel room, he wouldn't kiss, talk to me or even make eye contact. It was very awkward, uncomfortable and more than a little intimidating. He left in less than 10 minutes. I guess he had Asperger's syndrome or some other mental condition.. Be careful out there, there are some very strange people in this world

 

[Biblackchick83]

I have had the same experience...People in real life can be very, very different than their online persona. One person I had been chatting with online was very talkative and friendly on the net, couldn't wait to meet me, said he wanted to make out with me and asked to spend the night...When we met in my hotel room, he wouldn't kiss, talk to me or even make eye contact. It was very awkward, uncomfortable and more than a little intimidating. He left in less than 10 minutes. I guess he had Asberger's syndrome or some other metal condition.. Be careful out there, there are some very strange people in this world

Yeah my parents thought I had autism when I was younger. Its really hard opening up to people. Very hard. You add religion and the bible into the mix and and that can equal a life of long sexual suppression

 

[Biblackchick83]

It's the "online persona" phenomenon. People feel more secure letting certain sides of themselves out online that they might be a little more hesitant to in real life.

As for the crazies, keep your personal info personal. Don't share a full name or have it in your email address or link anyone to your facebook. It can save you the same sort of headache you went through with the crazy you mentioned.

Whenever I chat with people the first thing they want to see is a picture of me.

 

[xtinelauren1]

For me it allows me to be honest about my sexuality. I'm a virgin, but i still really enjoy talking about sex and relationships. I don't feel as comfortable having the sort of conversations that are normal around here with my friends irl. If someone thinks I'm too bold or whatever else have you on the Internet, I don't actually care as much. I don't fear rejection or what people may think of me like I would irl.

 

[Verycurious18]

I'm bold, blunt and open in both cases, wouldn't meet up with anyone though. Way to risky to me, though i'm in the process of sending some used panties to someone from lit.

 

[beautyandbrains]

......

 

[Max_Terrible]

... I guess he had Asperger's syndrome or some other mental condition...

I have Asperger's Syndrome and I do find it much easier to talk to people on the internet and to be myself.

I've had instances in the past where I have met people in real life whom I've been chatting to on the internet in some way or form. Almost all of them was very awkward for me and I assume the other person, as well. I can become very flirty when I become comfortable talking to a person, and obviously that won't translate very well into a real life meeting, resulting in disappointment for everyone.

 

[janetsexy77]

I have Asperger's Syndrome and I do find it much easier to talk to people on the internet and to be myself.

I've had instances in the past where I have met people in real life whom I've been chatting to on the internet in some way or form. Almost all of them was very awkward for me and I assume the other person, as well. I can become very flirty when I become comfortable talking to a person, and obviously that won't translate very well into a real life meeting, resulting in disappointment for everyone.

Hope I did not offend you, and FWIW, meeting anyone in real life for the first time is awkward and nerve-wracking for me too. The internet is great at putting people with the same interests in touch but it is a terrible way to determine someone's personality or real-life way of interacting.

 

[sunandshadow]

In reality, 90% of people I meet aren't anyone I'd ever want to have sex with. Online it's slightly easier to be optimistic that I'm not talking to a whole room full of ugly people my parents' age.

 

[Kitty]

...or crazy????


I haven't meant anyone online in a long time, but I talk to people online who present themselves as something that they ARE NOT offline. I would say the majority of the people I've meant are shy and introverted. There was only one time where I meant a woman who was bold and sexual, but that didn't last too long. Then you got people who have fake pictures, lie about themselves, etc.

I started talking to this girl a few years ago, and she claimed to be gay even though she had four kids. Well she turned out to be a total nutcase! I told her that I didnt want to talk anymore, cause I found her mugshot online, and she cyber stalked me! She sent messages to all of my family members on facebook.

After that experience I havent had a big desire to meet people online. Either they end up being crazy, introverted and too shy, non-talkative, etc. I'm not the biggest talker myself, but I can carry a damn conversation.

I hate this question. It's the internet. That's why. I don't take anything seriously but I also don't take anything like a grain of salt, like "hmm are they being honest?" Just...have fun. And be careful lol

 

[leather_spitfire]

I've met with a few crazies from online. some of them turned out to be crazy having seemed normal and some I knew damn well they're crazy but I wanted to hang out with crazy people so it was fine.

I met with someone recently though and she was as lovely in person as online made me feel almost at ease with something I've not been at ease with ever. so just remember there are some who are the same in person as they are online, in a good way not just the crazy sombitches!!

 

[EctoJohn]

The anonymity makes it a lot easier to say what you're really thinking and being in this sexual environment makes it easier to express your desires in a way you couldn't do for real without being judged and shot down.

I will admit that I'm a lot more shy and quiet irl than I am online.
I feel more comfortable online than I do with real people, even if it's real people I know well. It takes me a while to warm up to and relax with people irl.

It's not that I'm not thinking the same way irl as I am on here, but I'm more nervous or just feel awkward.
You could put me in a room irl with the exact same people I know from here that I'm friends with, and I'd still start off shy and awkward even though I've talked to them for so long online.

 

[gk6h]

.....

 

[Missingout]

I find I'm the opposite to this question. I'm much more comfortable in a social environment than I am here on this particular site. I can't gauge people here like I can out in the real world which is what makes things awkward for me.
Talking sexual on line for myself, particularly one on one has me feel much more conscience with boundaries. I'm constantly afraid of crossing the line, even though the line for me is most likely very tame compared to most here. Coming off to strong or perverted with someone is a big fear for myself which sounds ridiculous considering the natural of this site, but it does.

 

[Anomaly1964]

Yeah, I kinda laugh when I read someone say, "I am an ONLINE Dom..."

 

[Thandi]

I find I'm the opposite to this question. I'm much more comfortable in a social environment than I am here on this particular site. I can't gauge people here like I can out in the real world which is what makes things awkward for me.
Talking sexual on line for myself, particularly one on one has me feel much more conscience with boundaries. I'm constantly afraid of crossing the line, even though the line for me is most likely very tame compared to most here. Coming off to strong or perverted with someone is a big fear for myself which sounds ridiculous considering the natural of this site, but it does.

We got you a little loosened up at one point.

 

[Katamari Roller]

It's the "online persona" phenomenon. People feel more secure letting certain sides of themselves out online that they might be a little more hesitant to in real life.

As for the crazies, keep your personal info personal. Don't share a full name or have it in your email address or link anyone to your facebook. It can save you the same sort of headache you went through with the crazy you mentioned.

I still can´t believe there are so many people around that don´t understand the basic concepts of "anonymity" and "avatars":

1- I don´t want to make my sexual fantasies a reality. That´s why I call them sexual FANTASIES and pursue them through a site dedicated to erotic literature in the first place. This should be particularly obvious when the fantasy is something quite inconvenient (like getting knocked up by a stranger, for example).

2- I bring them to the Internet because it is a safe place to make those fantasies as real as they are ever going to be. I am not going to give anyone my personal information so we can "make them a reality", given how inconvenient they can be. Also, if I want to make them a reality, I will resort to someone I trust, not someone from the Internet. Particularly given the risk of contacting a perfect gentleman and figuring out too late that he is a psychopath with a nice collection of well-sharpened kitchen knives that knows where I live, where I work, what my name is, who my family is and so on.

3- Avatars are used to please aesthetically and form a layer of protection about oneself, and will normally look NOTHING like the real person.

You are still supposed to assume that´s what the person looks like. It´s like suspension of disbelief in movies: you forget that flying cars don´t exist (and are a pretty dumb idea) because this makes a movie more exciting. Also, it makes things more comfortable between you and your possible partner. Don´t ask me "are you really a blue-haired anime girl with huge tits and heterochromia", and I won´t ask you "are you really a blue-eyed guy with a six-pack and a twelve-inch cock?"




I got so fed up from people not understanding such basic concepts that I ended up going to F-list. Yes, it is a furry roleplaying site. The average guy there presents himself as a ten-foot-tall, half-wolf half-demon creature with two black cocks and magic powers that plays a banjo.

He still shows more brains and Internet awareness than 80% of the guys I´ve met here, and he also realizes that being in a fictional medium, he is not limited by physics when it comes to having fun (hence the two black cocks).

 

[sereneone4u]

*makes note to go check out the furry roleplaying site*

 

[Touch_72]

*makes note to go check out the furry roleplaying site*

*lol* Is Sereni a furry?

 

[sereneone4u]

*lol* Is Sereni a furry?

Hey you, where have you been?

Everything okay?

No, but damn, why not?

half wolf, half demon, double dicked and magical,
sounds similar to my Sir.

 

[Novita76]

Im horridly shy irl. It all depends on the situation im in. If im at work, im outgoing and flirty depending on who im talking to. But if i was out at a bar, unless i came with people i wouldn't dare talk to anyone else they spoke to me first.

I find i don't like attention from people because i feel so shy and awkward
and otherwise unworthy.

 

[Missingout]

We got you a little loosened up at one point.

Indeed you did some, but then I fell back to my old self.
Perhaps it's like golf in the way that you have to play regularly to actually be any good.