The Isolated Blurt Thread IX: Insurrection

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They've gone crazy this year. It's even been on telly. Fuck my life. :(

That's awful. I don't feel I have any right to complain about my day after hearing that.

Keep a big shoe handy. Or a flame thrower.
 
That's awful. I don't feel I have any right to complain about my day after hearing that.

Keep a big shoe handy. Or a flame thrower.

I've just spoken to my Mum about it. She said "What kind of noise was he making? Was he hissing?"

What the fuck? Erm no it was his EIGHT FUCKING LEGS! COUNT THEM PEOPLE!! EIGHT FOR FUCK SAKE! scrabbling on the wallpaper.

Hissing? Now either she misheard me or from the fuss I was making assumed it was an anaconda (prevalent in Nottinghamshire this time of year) or she's met some fucked up spiders in Ireland in her time.
 
I've just spoken to my Mum about it. She said "What kind of noise was he making? Was he hissing?"

What the fuck? Erm no it was his EIGHT FUCKING LEGS! COUNT THEM PEOPLE!! EIGHT FOR FUCK SAKE! scrabbling on the wallpaper.

Hissing? Now either she misheard me or from the fuss I was making assumed it was an anaconda (prevalent in Nottinghamshire this time of year) or she's met some fucked up spiders in Ireland in her time.

ohgod, what a flippin' nightmare. :(

my friend was telling me via facebook about how there's some kind of "spider infestation" in theirback yard.

i unfriended that bitch, she's cooked :(
 
ohgod, what a flippin' nightmare. :(

my friend was telling me via facebook about how there's some kind of "spider infestation" in theirback yard.

i unfriended that bitch, she's cooked :(

What the fuck is it with spidres this year? << I've left that spelling mistake in, looks classy like Stella Artois Cidre.

I want to kick her in her varicose veins for putting the image in my head of a hissing spider. Vile woman.
 
fata, several of my oldies swear by conkers.

I've heard this a lot. I have tons of conkers on my desk at work and some in my bedroom on my dressing table.

I'm going fucking conkering tomorrow, gonna mug all the kids for theirs and make myself a suit of fucking conkers.
 
What the fuck is it with spidres this year? << I've left that spelling mistake in, looks classy like Stella Artois Cidre.

I want to kick her in her varicose veins for putting the image in my head of a hissing spider. Vile woman.

i've heard of hissing spiders before... was it a wolf spider, maybe? i forget which evil species it was, exactly
 
I've just spoken to my Mum about it. She said "What kind of noise was he making? Was he hissing?"

What the fuck? Erm no it was his EIGHT FUCKING LEGS! COUNT THEM PEOPLE!! EIGHT FOR FUCK SAKE! scrabbling on the wallpaper.

Hissing? Now either she misheard me or from the fuss I was making assumed it was an anaconda (prevalent in Nottinghamshire this time of year) or she's met some fucked up spiders in Ireland in her time.

Hissing? That would be even more horrible if spiders hissed. Though the nasty legs creeping up the wallpaper must be disturbing. I'd have nightmares for weeks.
 
No wolf spiders over 'ere thank fuck. But that did make me think of this. Joanna Newsom. :heart:

Wolf-spider, crouch in your funnel nest,
If I knew you, once
Now I know you less
In the sinking sand
Where we've come to rest,
Have I had a hand in your lonelines
s?
 
I've just spoken to my Mum about it. She said "What kind of noise was he making? Was he hissing?"

What the fuck? Erm no it was his EIGHT FUCKING LEGS! COUNT THEM PEOPLE!! EIGHT FOR FUCK SAKE! scrabbling on the wallpaper.

Hissing? Now either she misheard me or from the fuss I was making assumed it was an anaconda (prevalent in Nottinghamshire this time of year) or she's met some fucked up spiders in Ireland in her time.

An Anaconda in Nottinghamshire, seriously? You are being facetious, right?
Anacondas don't hiss besides the only snakes native to UK were adders, grass snakes, smooth snakes and slow worm which really isn't a snake but looks like one.
 
An Anaconda in Nottinghamshire, seriously? You are being facetious, right?
Anacondas don't hiss besides the only snakes native to UK were adders, grass snakes, smooth snakes and slow worm which really isn't a snake but looks like one.

I was being a sarky flower.
 
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