how does one keep it clean

[Pantyhosesissy]

I'm a 48 yr old married man who recently started secretly riding my wife's dildo. It has been painful at first, but with lots of Vaseline and slowly taking it, it has become easier and much more pleasurable. But my problem is cleanliness. Even after a restroom visit or enema, it always seems to be on the dildo after a couple minutes. Any suggestions?

 

[FGB]

Yikes!

Well. condom...BUY ONE FOR YOU, toy cleaner, Antibiotic liquid soap. Some kind of bleach?

If she finds out she may not be very understanding for several reasons.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Step 1: scrub the shit off the dildo with your own toothbrush.

Step 2: soak both the toothbrush and the dildo in disinfectant. When the toothbrush is clean enough to go back in your mouth, that's when the dildo is clean enough for you to put it back with your wife's things.

Step 3: like FGB said: buy your own dildo, use a condom on it, and leave your wife's alone.

 

[Pantyhosesissy]

OKobviously I was not clear with my question...I know how to clean afterwords its preventing the mess that I am asking about,..maybe I should use brambleton's toothbrush to cleanse myself first

 

[unregistered]

 

[Pantyhosesissy]

I guess I'm getting response from idiots. Never did I say anything about my wife using a "dirty" dildo.,I always clean it thoroughly after using it. I also clean my own cock after I pull it from her ass before putting it in her pussy..my question is simply what/how is the best way to clean myself before ass play so the mess is minimal...??

 

[Shantie]

And even an enema doesn't help??
I usually use it when plan to have a long anal sex and everything is okay...

 

[unregistered]

 

[Fata Morgana]

Stick a hand grenade up your arse? Should shift all of it.

 

[Aquagal]

Put a condom on your hand grenade first, leave the pin facing down and out of your ass. After inserted, then pull.

 

[fire_breeze]

I guess I'm getting response from idiots. Never did I say anything about my wife using a "dirty" dildo.,I always clean it thoroughly after using it. I also clean my own cock after I pull it from her ass before putting it in her pussy..my question is simply what/how is the best way to clean myself before ass play so the mess is minimal...??

Welcome to Lit

A few words of advice in making your stay a bit more pleasurable: the How-To board is very open and honest in their opinions, which you asked for, by the way, even if it's not

The How-Toers also contain some of the most intelligent, open-minded, well-informed and polite posters I've had the pleasure of meeting; you are lucky that quite a few of those highly intelligent, open-minded, well-informed and polite posters took the time to answer your question with their opinions. Calling them idiots is a bit gauche.

Generally, while we are extremely open-minded, taking a toy that can harbour serious bacteria without the owners permission is a bit frowned on. Imagine your wife's reaction if she found out. Her reaction will probably be that you took a toy that she uses vaginally without her permission and used it anally. It's, no offence, gross.

To put this in better perspective, imagine that someone took your dildo that you used for blow-jobs, used it to experiment anally, washed it, and then you used it in your mouth. Even if it was scalded with bleach, there's an ick factor. THAT'S what the whole thing is about, not to mention some very resistant bacteria that CAN survive without a thorough (that is, using hot water above 80C for over a period of time) cleaning in order to ensure that the toy is properly disinfected. And are you sure that you are cleaning according to manufacturer's instruction? Not all toys can be cleaned the same way. Rubber toys cannot be boiled, for example. Jelly toys are another ball-game altogether. There is a reason why most experts in the field - and not just those on this board- recommend a separate toy for anal play and to use a condom over said toy in addition to a thorough, manufacture recommended cleansing. Bacteria can hide in the most microscopic of fissures. Not fun.

This is why it is highly recommended that you purchase your own toy. If you are too embarrassed to walk into a reputable store, then order off said store's website. They usually deliver in a nondescript package. In fact, play with your wife with anal toys and then you won't have to do it in secret.

If, on the other hand, you are properly using enemas according to the instructions (if I am not mistaken, repeat until water is clean, if my biology serves me correctly, but I can be wrong) and still are experiencing faecal debris, then it might be an internal plumbing problem and you should get yourself to the doctor ASAP.

Good luck and enjoy your stay .

 

[DesEsseintes]

If your enema is not shifting your shit (and who the hell stores shit in their anus, of all places? Jeez!) then you need to upgrade your cleansing solution. I suggest a 100% solution of perchloric acid, directly injected. After that, I guarantee your wife will have no more problems with persistent shits ruining her sex life.

 

[Pantyhosesissy]

Thanks shantie, maybe it's just part of the game...have to deal with it...for the rest of you smart ass fuck sticks, kiss my ass

 

[DesEsseintes]

the rest of you smart ass fuck sticks, kiss my ass

I won't, thanks. Ask your wife, but don't forget to remove her dildo first to save embarrassment.

 

[Bramblethorn]

OKobviously I was not clear with my question...I know how to clean afterwords its preventing the mess that I am asking about,..maybe I should use brambleton's toothbrush to cleanse myself first

Even better, I've got a nice wire bottle-brush you could use.

 

[Emerson40]

I'm a 48 yr old married man who recently started secretly riding my wife's dildo. It has been painful at first, but with lots of Vaseline and slowly taking it, it has become easier and much more pleasurable. But my problem is cleanliness. Even after a restroom visit or enema, it always seems to be on the dildo after a couple minutes. Any suggestions?

Welcome to Lit Pantyhosemissingthepoint,

Add 1/4 cup ammonia and 1/4 cup bleach to your enema bag.

I think the problem of your green apple splatters remaining on your wife's toy, which you are "secretly" sticking in your turd cutter and she is then using without knowing you have carefully removed the poopy bits from, will be solved.

You can even test it by licking it thoroughly, before carefully placing back where she keeps it, exactly as she left it. It should taste like urinary tract infection.

You will also benefit by getting the point, right after it is too late to be of any help to you.

And Vaseline? Really? How do you explain the greasy shart-stains in your briefs?

 

[GiggLeGasm]

drink more water
eat more real food

it really shouldn't be all that "messy" in there. If you're experience is that the mess makes the play not worth the cleanup - then perhaps a little prep would be in order. Did you really think that the people who suggested an enema were being assholes? It's not a bad answer to your question. If this is frequent enough that you've posted it to the how-to.. you might need to shift your diet.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Did you really think that the people who suggested an enema were being assholes?

Pun intended, I assume.

And for the record, I was being an arsehole, in case it wasn't clear. But what a vulgar question in a sober and respectable club, honestly. Are we to lose all sense of propriety and decorum?

 

[Emerson40]

If only he kept microbes and poop-cooties from his wife's coochy-coo as well as he keeps secrets from her.


http://38.media.tumblr.com/d1fb2324e02ff19eef9adfd201462653/tumblr_mvlkupDcnu1s84g17o1_500.gif

 

[simplegirl]

Actually I'm going to to go against everyone and say, now that you've used the toy anally DO NOT give it back to your wife even if you clean it thoroughly. As Fire Breeze stated, there can be micro fissures that will harbor bacteria that you do not want to introduce into your wife's girly bits. YOU keep it and buy HER a new toy (and keep that one away from anal play).

Now onto the subject at hand. Unless your constipated or are in the need of a bowel movement, there shouldn't be fecal matter in the rectum. It usually rests in the colon, then moves down triggering the need for a bowel movement. So if you have fecal matter that stays in the rectum despite a bowel movement, I would consult my doctor to make sure nothing is going on in there. Happy playing.

 

[lovetoread]

I wonder if she has figured out how she got the horrible yeast/bladder infection yet.

 

[DesEsseintes]

I wonder if she has figured out how she got the horrible yeast/bladder infection yet.

I should think she will be relieved when he tells her. She was wondering how to break the news of her dozen lovers to him and assumed it must be one of them.

 

[FGB]

Pantyhosesissy.

Dude you are clueless about being clueless.

Tell you what.

Post this Question on the General Board...go ahead, I DARE YOU!

An education awaits!

 

[Que]

Pantyhosesissy.

Dude you are clueless about being clueless.

Tell you what.

Post this Question on the General Board...go ahead, I DARE YOU!

An education awaits!

Ha.

too funny.

Lady G is far to nice to do it, but it would be amusing to just "move" it there.

I guess I'm getting response from idiots. Never did I say anything about my wife using a "dirty" dildo.,I always clean it thoroughly after using it. I also clean my own cock after I pull it from her ass before putting it in her pussy..my question is simply what/how is the best way to clean myself before ass play so the mess is minimal...??

The idiot here is you.

Leaving aside the health and privacy aspects of taking something that personal belonging to someone else and "using it in a manner other than as precribed" to quote Delray Lindo....

You could have avoid the (justified) scorn by simply posting:

What/how is the best way to clean myself before ass play so the mess is minimal...??

You will notice that no one is heaping and scorn on your love of ass-fuckery. -Just the ick factor for what you have done with HER dildo.

You are either:

a) So clueless that you still can't see that your actions are inappropriate

or

b) You were aware of the ick factor and simply wanted to assault all of us with it.

The terminally weird part of this is you are squicked by your own shit during ass play but think that your wife wouldn't be squicked by your shit on her dildo. If it cleans off your hands and ass as well as you think it cleans off the dildo, what's the big deal?

I mean if you were claiming, "Oh, no...my ass is clean when I shove her dildo in there." we'd be a little squicked...but you are claiming, "I'm shitting all over my wife's previously hygienic dildo..."

PS... HER ass to HER vagina although not advisable is far less dangerous than YOUR ass to HER vagina. Her microbes are already inside her although not in that tract. Yours are not.

 

[Aamazing1]

Step 1: scrub the shit off the dildo with your own toothbrush.

Step 2: soak both the toothbrush and the dildo in disinfectant. When the toothbrush is clean enough to go back in your mouth, that's when the dildo is clean enough for you to put it back with your wife's things.

Step 3: like FGB said: buy your own dildo, use a condom on it, and leave your wife's alone.

Hahaha