Truth

[smoothg103rd]

TRUTH is I'm a piece of shit.
I would never amount to nothing.
And its crazy when my yin tell me the same even my cousins.
TRUTH is I would would rob u and wouldn't even blink.
TRUTH is the only I feel clean is taking a shower and washing up in sink. TRUTH is I'm careless TRUTH is I'm careless TRUTH is I'm fearless TRUTH is I'm heartless TRUTH Is I'm a target. TRUTH is I want change. TRUTH is I want to be a different dude a different breed. TRUTH is I'm trying and no one feel my pain TRUTH Is no one respect the game. TRUTH is no one respect a lame ( RobDownSouth BountyBoy Skiddles) TRUTH is I wanna I miss I miss my father TRUTH is I hate my mother TRUTH is blood the only reason stopping me from killing my brother. TRUTH is I WANT IT ALL TRUTH is I want to ball Truth is I gotta fall to understand whats gettin up is like.

The is just a draft
I wrote this just now.l
Just put words together and went with the flow.
I know I can't write
Just wanted to express my feelings
Had no time on this
Just wrote what came to my head
.
Smoothg103rd

 

[smoothg103rd]

A rush job

 

[pelegrino]

This is a good set of words you've got here.
If you construct a few like sets and then use aleatory technique on them in order to write a poem you may come up with persuasive results. (computers are there to help humans, remember).
It's not good throwing only the gauntlet to yourself, you must sometimes throw the dice as well.

 

[smoothg103rd]

This is a good set of words you've got here.
If you construct a few like sets and then use aleatory technique on them in order to write a poem you may come up with persuasive results. (computers are there to help humans, remember).
It's not good throwing only the gauntlet to yourself, you must sometimes throw the dice as well.

I really appreciate your criticism and truly take it to heart.
I'm really tryna change my life, and you all here is the first stop to helping me. Thank you

 

[smoothg103rd]

This is a good set of words you've got here.
If you construct a few like sets and then use aleatory technique on them in order to write a poem you may come up with persuasive results. (computers are there to help humans, remember).
It's not good throwing only the gauntlet to yourself, you must sometimes throw the dice as well.

I got another one for u.
This is actually a rap I wrote a long time ago.

Apologies ahead of time for the grammar

 

[Noor]

This is a good set of words you've got here.
If you construct a few like sets and then use aleatory technique on them in order to write a poem you may come up with persuasive results. (computers are there to help humans, remember).
It's not good throwing only the gauntlet to yourself, you must sometimes throw the dice as well.

Could you explain this in a bit more detail, maybe point to some examples of aleatory technique and how computers would help?

 

[pelegrino]

Could you explain this in a bit more detail, maybe point to some examples of aleatory technique and how computers would help?

I borrow the term from the musical use of it.
Aleatoric technique is associated with "music by chance" and with "indeterminacy movement" in arts in general. It can be either a game or a serious compositional element and can also be as controlled or as free as one desires.
In a primitive setting of course we would literally have to throw the dice in order to generate events in the fields of all performing arts, which then we could keep and use or discard as unsuitable, but that sounds tedious (too much work), so we can use commercial software to do that.
I have used in the past such commercial applications like "Fractal Music" and "Schoenberg" that generate music automatically by applying algorithmic processes. I never liked the results as they were coming out, so If I wanted to use some of them in a composition I had to device a system of control on them.
Therefore the raw material was music by chance and my devised system for controlling this material was also constructed by aleatoric methods. By this I mean that I was leaving to the throwing of the dice which musical parameters to keep and which to ignore, like for example keeping a rhythmic cell that I liked but discarding its suggested dynamic or time duration.
In the end of this exercise I had either a piece of music that I liked or total rubbish, but the real value of it was that it was teaching me to view things in fresh, non academic, albeit unorthodox ways which I found both entertaining and fruitful.
All in all I believe that you cannot really create just by using the dice as some others do.
It is ok to use it as an element in a creation but you must always construct your own system of controlling some of the processes at least.
This technique is not new to music as some musicians believe. In a sense we always created music if not completely by chance, at least by circumstance, that's my philosophy on the creative process itself. By this I mean that indeterminacy itself is determined by human circumstance after all.
Composers going as far back as Ockeghem have used aleatory elements in their serious compositions and also "silly" Mozart in his silly musical games. Charles Ives re-discovered it for himself but it really took strong hold in the Darmstadt summer music course in the beginning of the 50ies.
You can read a lot more about it here if you are interested.

Now, for the above poem my first elementary system of control would be thus:

I decide to change the last word of every line by using only words that already exist in the text and leave this change to dice.
Some people may remark that the meaning may change. I reply: What are we after here?
Some others may say "Who cares about meaning?" I reply: I do, as long as it is new (meaninglessness included of course).
I have just come up with the first two lines:

TRUTH is I'm a piece of nothing.
I would never amount to shit.

What do you think, is it worth for me continuing?

 

[champagne1982]

I have just come up with the first two lines:

TRUTH is I'm a piece of nothing.
I would never amount to shit.

What do you think, is it worth for me continuing?

No, it's not. I don't think smoothg103rd is going to pursue your ideas on aleatory technique for changing his poem, either. LOL! You've spent more time in discussion with Noor than smoo took composing his list of not-so-original TRUTHS. Just go ahead and write your own poem.

 

[smoothg103rd]

No, it's not. I don't think smoothg103rd is going to pursue your ideas on aleatory technique for changing his poem, either. LOL! You've spent more time in discussion with Noor than smoo took composing his list of not-so-original TRUTHS. Just go ahead and write your own poem.

Whats not original?

 

[champagne1982]

Whats not original?

You took a bunch of cliché statements and prefaced each with TRUTH. What's original about it? I challenge you to explain. "TRUTH is it's poetry!" won't cut it though. That's mine.

TRUTH is, unoriginal is a nice way to say unimaginative.

 

[smoothg103rd]

You took a bunch of cliché statements and prefaced each with TRUTH. What's original about it? I challenge you to explain. "TRUTH is it's poetry!" won't cut it though. That's mine.

TRUTH is, unoriginal is a nice way to say unimaginative.

Honestly I don't know what the fuck u tryna say. I know I'm not a poet I was drunk and bored and made this poem up. Writing words that is true about my past life or my present. How is that not original? Its my own words that I didn't even give thought to.

I got a challenge for u. You pick something for the both of us to write a poem too. And I bet mines be better

 

[Noor]

Interesting! Al Stewart wrote lyrics to a song based only on wanting to use the word "amanuensis." I like it.

Royal Courtship

Al Stewart
I sent my majordomo to your amanuensis
To ascertain your feelings, and strip away pretenses
And then a few days later, you sent back your vizier
And though he spoke quite courteously
His meaning wasn't clear
Not to my majordomo
Not to my majordomo

So I sent my acolyte to further our relations
And he engaged your ministers in lengthy conversations
One or two were willing to discuss the matter frankly
We then received your advocate
Who told me that you thanked me
Also my majordomo
Also my majordomo

I therefore told my counselor to offer my best wishes
And he was greeted cordially with smiles and festive dishes
I further was encouraged by a note in your handwriting
Delivered by your confidant, it seemed you were inviting

My plenipotentiary with great felicitations
To join your chief of protocol in swift negotiations
But something must have happened
A secret door had closed then
The word from my ambassador was you were indisposed
And could not meet my majordomo
There's nothing I can do now
I sent my majordomo
I sent my majordomo

http://youtu.be/OpWgNpSgKlY at 7:33

 

[champagne1982]

But I don't want to play with you. I have nothing to prove, so play with yourself.
Sorry. That's how it goes. TC.. night

 

[smoothg103rd]

But I don't want to play with you. I have nothing to prove, so play with yourself.
Sorry. That's how it goes. TC.. night

Why not? Playing with other people is so fun.. There really is no fun in playing with yourself. Please??

 

[smoothg103rd]

I borrow the term from the musical use of it.
Aleatoric technique is associated with "music by chance" and with "indeterminacy movement" in arts in general. It can be either a game or a serious compositional element and can also be as controlled or as free as one desires.
In a primitive setting of course we would literally have to throw the dice in order to generate events in the fields of all performing arts, which then we could keep and use or discard as unsuitable, but that sounds tedious (too much work), so we can use commercial software to do that.
I have used in the past such commercial applications like "Fractal Music" and "Schoenberg" that generate music automatically by applying algorithmic processes. I never liked the results as they were coming out, so If I wanted to use some of them in a composition I had to device a system of control on them.
Therefore the raw material was music by chance and my devised system for controlling this material was also constructed by aleatoric methods. By this I mean that I was leaving to the throwing of the dice which musical parameters to keep and which to ignore, like for example keeping a rhythmic cell that I liked but discarding its suggested dynamic or time duration.
In the end of this exercise I had either a piece of music that I liked or total rubbish, but the real value of it was that it was teaching me to view things in fresh, non academic, albeit unorthodox ways which I found both entertaining and fruitful.
All in all I believe that you cannot really create just by using the dice as some others do.
It is ok to use it as an element in a creation but you must always construct your own system of controlling some of the processes at least.
This technique is not new to music as some musicians believe. In a sense we always created music if not completely by chance, at least by circumstance, that's my philosophy on the creative process itself. By this I mean that indeterminacy itself is determined by human circumstance after all.
Composers going as far back as Ockeghem have used aleatory elements in their serious compositions and also "silly" Mozart in his silly musical games. Charles Ives re-discovered it for himself but it really took strong hold in the Darmstadt summer music course in the beginning of the 50ies.
You can read a lot more about it here if you are interested.

Now, for the above poem my first elementary system of control would be thus:

I decide to change the last word of every line by using only words that already exist in the text and leave this change to dice.
Some people may remark that the meaning may change. I reply: What are we after here?
Some others may say "Who cares about meaning?" I reply: I do, as long as it is new (meaninglessness included of course).
I have just come up with the first two lines:

TRUTH is I'm a piece of nothing.
I would never amount to shit.

What do you think, is it worth for me continuing?

Yeah. I would like to see how it goes together

 

[twelveoone]

truth is i am nothing
nothing but a piece of salt
...where do we go from here...
truth is i am nothing
but an acid stamp
...muthafucker! leads to the same place.....
shit.

 

[pelegrino]

truth is i am nothing
nothing but a piece of salt
...where do we go from here...
truth is i am nothing
but an acid stamp
...muthafucker! leads to the same place.....
shit.

I thought this one by 1201 merited the treatment I talked about as it was offering itself to a more genuine development: (just as a second verse)

Truth is I am here,
nothing but a piece of shit,
where do we go from nothing?
Truth is I am nothing
but an acid stamp
...muthafucker! leads to the same place.....
salt.

(Note: The development consists in the word "nothing" been used three times instead of two, that is as per "content prolongation" or any similar shit.
I did not use any alea though, just my full of salty shit brain)

 

[playcatch]

"TRUTH is the only I feel clean is taking a shower and washing up in sink. TRUTH is I'm careless TRUTH is I'm careless TRUTH is I'm fearless TRUTH is I'm heartless TRUTH Is I'm a target. TRUTH is I want change. TRUTH is I want to be a different dude a different breed. TRUTH is I'm trying and no one feel my pain TRUTH Is no one respect the game. TRUTH is no one respect a lame ( RobDownSouth BountyBoy Skiddles) TRUTH is I wanna I miss I miss my father TRUTH is I hate my mother TRUTH is blood the only reason stopping me from killing my brother. TRUTH is I WANT IT ALL TRUTH is I want to ball Truth is I gotta fall to understand whats gettin up is like." OP

In this part you seem to get on a roll. The last line gropes at something bigger than the rest of the piece. The rest of the piece reveals someone who is only comfortable in tremendous hardship. The last line points to hope for the rewards of self-reliance and determination. I think this is a classic structure, emotionally speaking. Likely the parenthetical aside RobDownSouth BountyBoy Skiddle won't mean much to anyone who isn't in the writer's own condition. Otherwise, an interesting start, I think. Truth is important in writing, though the small, personal truth is less important than the bigger truth: the truth that resounds.