To Describe... Or Not Describe

[ukstockinglvr]

I am currently coming to the end of a piece and in editing it I am finding myself tempted to trim heaps off character descriptions.

When initially conceiving the story I had gushing (great word!) heavy description and painted what I perceive as detailed vivid pictures of the main characters, as they were the inspiration for writing the story. (Its a group sex story)

During the writing I had turned to a number of sources for tips and advice and one article I found said to be spartan in describing physical appearances, allowing actions and environment to do the work. I have since found this tip repeated on more than one occasion.

I am leaning more and more to this train of thought, however I find myself conflicted as the story is erotica, part of me thinks that this is not what the target audience wants. That they want to be told minute detail.

So, I would really appreciate some reader and author input on this.

Less or More?

Thanks.

 

[StrangeLife]

In my experience there is no "standard audience" .

To take the extremes, some people read in order to get stimulated (as detailed descriptions as possible with lots of sex and little story) while others read in order to experience a story with a sexy edge (story is paramount and explicit physical details are less important). Lit has plenty of both - and all degrees in between - so regardless of how you write there will always be a readership who appreciates what you do.

My personal preference is having physical descriptions flow as a natural part of the narrative rather than a police-style utilitarian profile. Like for instance...


"As I walked behind Sue I couldn't take my eyes off the way her dress curved around her firm yet very feminine ass."

"She leaned over the table and I starred down into a cleavage that could hide The Encyclopaedia Britannica (the Oxford edition)..."

"She undid her ponytail and a golden cascade of blonde hair enveloped her face and shoulders."


... rather than...


"My wife Sue is a busty blonde with a great ass and waist-long blonde hair."


I guess I'm a story guy.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I am leaning more and more to this train of thought, however I find myself conflicted as the story is erotica, part of me thinks that this is not what the target audience wants. That they want to be told minute detail.

So, I would really appreciate some reader and author input on this.

Less or More?

Thanks.

Different readers, different tastes. I'm happy to read and write erotica that has little or no physical description of the people involved; I'm more interested in the personalities and how they interact. Judging by the reader responses I get, there are quite a few who feel the same way.

So don't worry too much about what readers will like - any style you pick will have its fans and its detractors. You might as well go with what feels comfortable for you.

 

[Handley_Page]

In my experience there is no "standard audience" .

To take the extremes, some people read in order to get stimulated (as detailed descriptions as possible with lots of sex and little story) while others read in order to experience a story with a sexy edge (story is paramount and explicit physical details are less important). Lit has plenty of both - and all degrees in between - so regardless of how you write there will always be a readership who appreciates what you do.

My personal preference is having physical descriptions flow as a natural part of the narrative rather than a police-style utilitarian profile. Like for instance...


"As I walked behind Sue I couldn't take my eyes off the way her dress curved around her firm yet very feminine ass."

"She leaned over the table and I starred down into a cleavage that could hide The Encyclopaedia Britannica (the Oxford edition)..."

"She undid her ponytail and a golden cascade of blonde hair enveloped her face and shoulders."


... rather than...

"My wife Sue is a busty blonde with a great ass and waist-long blonde hair."

I guess I'm a story guy.

To my mind, it depends upon the 'type' of story.
The reference to the Encyclopaedia has a good smattering of humour (I like that sort of description) whereas "My wife Sue is a busty blonde . . ." is a short, sharp description which would fit in the sort of story that requires a staccato rhythm.

 

[Weird Harold]

I am currently coming to the end of a piece and in editing it I am finding myself tempted to trim heaps off character descriptions.

When initially conceiving the story I had gushing (great word!) heavy description and painted what I perceive as detailed vivid pictures of the main characters, as they were the inspiration for writing the story. (Its a group sex story)

During the writing I had turned to a number of sources for tips and advice and one article I found said to be spartan in describing physical appearances, allowing actions and environment to do the work. I have since found this tip repeated on more than one occasion.

...

The amount and type of description you provide is mostly a matter of style. Use as much or as little description as you feel fits the style you want to present to the readers. Don't worry about what the readers might want because if you ask ten readers, you'll get at least ten different and conflicting answers.

One thing to consider: Novice writers tend to over-control and force their vision on the readers -- one of my early mentors called it "insulting the reader's intelligence." The tendency extends to describing action as well as details, so if you find a lot of "then" clauses -- "He did this, THEN did that..." -- you might be guilty of over-controlling and/or over-describing.

If you're being tempted to trim a lot of description, perhaps your subconscious is trying to tell you something?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Personally, as a reader I detest "extreme" physical descriptions. What do I mean by extreme? Well...

Her body was wonderful, 44 DDDDs, slim hips, soft skin and an ass to die for. Blue eyes and blond hair rounded out this vision of loveliness.

My god she would fall over every time she stood up.

What I prefer...

Her eyes were blue, her hair blond. She had a sweet face and a fantastic smile. Her breasts fit her body type. Slim hips, slender legs, she was perfect to my minds eye.

Even though I used more words, I was less specific about certain aspects of her...description. When authors start quoting bust size and/or bra size I stop reading at the number and move on to a new, possibly good story that lets me use my imagination about what the blue eyed blond looks like. To me she would look exactly like the girl next door when I was growing up.

 

[lovecraft68]

In my experience there is no "standard audience" .

To take the extremes, some people read in order to get stimulated (as detailed descriptions as possible with lots of sex and little story) while others read in order to experience a story with a sexy edge (story is paramount and explicit physical details are less important). Lit has plenty of both - and all degrees in between - so regardless of how you write there will always be a readership who appreciates what you do.

My personal preference is having physical descriptions flow as a natural part of the narrative rather than a police-style utilitarian profile. Like for instance...


"As I walked behind Sue I couldn't take my eyes off the way her dress curved around her firm yet very feminine ass."

"She leaned over the table and I starred down into a cleavage that could hide The Encyclopaedia Britannica (the Oxford edition)..."

"She undid her ponytail and a golden cascade of blonde hair enveloped her face and shoulders."


... rather than...


"My wife Sue is a busty blonde with a great ass and waist-long blonde hair."


I guess I'm a story guy.

I'm with you, if your one line example is the extent of a physical description and its early in a story, I click off because I'm fairly certain all that what will follow will be a stroker.

A description like that. to me anyway, is the author saying, "got that out of the way, now what does the other girl look like?"

Another way to do a description is a little at a time. You don;t have to go down a laundry list of physical attributes all at once, you can start off with her face, have some dialogue and and she moves about during the conversation describe her physical characteristics.

 

[DiminutiveDame]

As a reader I hate drawn out and overly excessive descriptions. There is a point where it's too much and a reader doesn't need to know about the shape and size of a leaf seen through the bedroom window. But when it comes to characters I think it's important to add detail and paint the picture of a scene.
As a writer I struggle with "Is it too much or too less?"
I think a healthy balance when you describe characters and scene to a point where you say what you feel is pertinent yet not to a point where irrelevant details are added is good.

 

[ukstockinglvr]

Hi, thank you all for the feedback.

If you read some of my other posts on other threads you will find that I am in the camp more for a good story, less about the sex, although eventually the sex is why we are all here!

I have drawn out character traits and description over the course of the story, however close to the start there is scene where describing the attire is necessary for the plot, but it can read a bit forced, it is here that I am torn about trimming. I think I'll leave it in.

Again, thanks for the input

 

[ukstockinglvr]

Personally, as a reader I detest "extreme" physical descriptions. What do I mean by extreme? Well...

Her body was wonderful, 44 DDDDs, slim hips, soft skin and an ass to die for. Blue eyes and blond hair rounded out this vision of loveliness.

My god she would fall over every time she stood up.

PS I am also 100% on this. I am all for natural women.

However I am not under the pretense that there are not some naturally beautiful women out there that you meet in everyday life, they are not all consigned to Hollywood or the catwalk, I have met many. (Yes I know eye of the beholder etc)

But extremes definitely a no for me.

 

[lovecraft68]

PS I am also 100% on this. I am all for natural women.

However I am not under the pretense that there are not some naturally beautiful women out there that you meet in everyday life, they are not all consigned to Hollywood or the catwalk, I have met many. (Yes I know eye of the beholder etc)

But extremes definitely a no for me.

Many of my women are smaller breasted, that's due to both my personal preference and to try not to have all my women be "porn star" perfect.

Although many porn stars these days are smaller breasted women so the triple DDD thing seems even more ludicrous these days.

I also avoid the infamous 10' cock. I use the word sizable, or just say things like, "His cock was long and thick" let the reader decide what long is. Average woman? Probably thinking 8 or so, size queen? Might think 10+, but point is they can use their own judgment.

 

[ukstockinglvr]

Many of my women are smaller breasted, that's due to both my personal preference and to try not to have all my women be "porn star" perfect.

Although many porn stars these days are smaller breasted women so the triple DDD thing seems even more ludicrous these days.

I also avoid the infamous 10' cock. I use the word sizable, or just say things like, "His cock was long and thick" let the reader decide what long is. Average woman? Probably thinking 8 or so, size queen? Might think 10+, but point is they can use their own judgment.

I originally wrote stories in 2002, I was most definitely immature in my style of writing and it shows in the few stories I have posted from back then (the others are relegated to my own collection).

In those stories the male characters were hung like studs and the females 34C and larger. This is something I no longer repeat and I see it as an easy way to flesh out a character.

In lit there is nothing you can get from using numbers regarding size that a well thought out description can beat.

 

[lovecraft68]

I originally wrote stories in 2002, I was most definitely immature in my style of writing and it shows in the few stories I have posted from back then (the others are relegated to my own collection).

In those stories the male characters were hung like studs and the females 34C and larger. This is something I no longer repeat and I see it as an easy way to flesh out a character.

In lit there is nothing you can get from using numbers regarding size that a well thought out description can beat.

All true, but....

There is an audience here for porn absurdity that does like those descriptions including an author, who when the guy cums its in, "Thick white ropes of semen" There's a visual for you.

 

[ukstockinglvr]

There is an audience here for porn absurdity

lovecraft I think we are getting back onto Futanari again...

 

[lovecraft68]

lovecraft I think we are getting back onto Futanari again...

Futanari? There used to be a great thread for that here, it.....has a train wreck sort of fascination to it....

But there are some people here who write stories along those lines, sad to say.

 

[RoyceConnors]

Character description to me, has to be a part of the moment of the story and pertain to it. For whatever action that's happening, it can hold the elements for a large amount of description, without turning into a 'list'.

'....I saw her standing at the full length mirror looking at herself, her hands running along the curves of her body, smoothing out the sheer, black slip. Minutes before, I was laying atop that gorgeous body and felt her softness press into me. I loved the feel of her breasts and how firm they were. I was curious as any man would be and snuck a look at the bra strap on the bed and read the size, 34C. I came up behind her and pressed my body to hers and wrapped my arms around her, letting my hands glide over the silky material. I could feel every nuance of her body, the scar from her Caesarean birth easily felt.....'

In that moment, I'm 'allowed' a great deal of time for description, as it's part of the action happening at the time. The description can go on for a long time, as long as the action is continuous with it. Adding in the emotional reactions of touch and looks brings the description of the scene together.

 

[TamLin01]

Nobody cares what characters look like. They might think they care if you tell them, but if you had saved the words and skipped the description nobody would ever get to the end and leave a comment complaining, "Hey, you didn't tell me what color hair Carol has!"

 

[sr71plt]

As some others have posted here, how much description to give is a "depends on the story and the writer's style" issue, not a right/wrong one. I tend not to give a great deal of physical description, but I give some most of the time, because most of the stories are trying to hook into a reader demographic--but not the same demographic with each story.

If in looking to trim description, you find characteristics that don't serve the elements of the story you are stressing, you've probably got a description you can safely ditch. It's not a bad thing to have the details of a character sharper in your own mind--the character you wanted to see--than what you actually write in the story--giving the reader the opportunity to latch into the character she/he wants to see.

 

[ukstockinglvr]

Royce, a great example and I like the style.

However, did you feel a need to include the size reading part? Would the strength of the great description about her breasts being firm added with a bit more detail give the reader an impression of size without the need to statistically qualify it.

Also, reading excerpts like that remind me I have a long way to go in writing skill

 

[ukstockinglvr]

It's not a bad thing to have the details of a character sharper in your own mind--the character you wanted to see--than what you actually write in the story--giving the reader the opportunity to latch into the character she/he wants to see.

I like this, makes a lot of sense, thanks.

 

[RoyceConnors]

Royce, a great example and I like the style.

However, did you feel a need to include the size reading part? Would the strength of the great description about her breasts being firm added with a bit more detail give the reader an impression of size without the need to statistically qualify it.

Also, reading excerpts like that remind me I have a long way to go in writing skill

It was an example of putting a 'list item' in a formative list atmosphere. I could have said he was a breast man and loved women' breasts. I could have had him secretly rip the size tag off and keep it as a trophy, something a little less obvious than stealing her panties. He could have a scrapbook of photos of all the breasts and tags he's had the privilege of getting his hands on. So many angles can be spun off from just that one description.

Ty for the nod on the example.

 

[SikFuk]

I've always liked the noir style, although it's not always appropriate:

"She was a hot rod blonde with torpedo tits that could put your eye out."

 

[Hypoxia]

Nobody cares what characters look like. They might think they care if you tell them, but if you had saved the words and skipped the description nobody would ever get to the end and leave a comment complaining, "Hey, you didn't tell me what color hair Carol has!"

I find myself using descriptions mainly to be able to distinguish between multiple characters -- I tend to overpopulate my stories, and with characters of various ethnicities. I *do* want readers to visualize the tall thin black woman, the short stocky blond Saxon, and the Latina who looks like an Aztec goddess.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'm re-reading IBERIA by James Michener.

As a rule I'm no Michener fan; I started a few of his novels and quickly closed the covers.

But IBERIA is the exception. Its a non-fiction memoir and cultural treatise of Spain circa 1932, then 1960's. Its 1000 pages of wonderful reading and contains not one useless adjective or adverb. I look for them. There's nothing generic in the 1000 pages yet he takes pains to paint all the salient features of the unusual. Like when a bull disembowels a picador's horse, and when a bull is timid. I spent two years in Spain, and what I remember is the unusual. Like after a woman fucks your brains out she'll refuse to hold your hand in public then rub her ass against your cock on a deserted street.

And if you think about it the unusual is what people pay attention to. Its enough to write WE WENT TO McDONALDS and move on unless the cook fills your filet of fish with cum.

 

[StrangeLife]

And if you think about it the unusual is what people pay attention to. Its enough to write WE WENT TO McDONALDS and move on unless the cook fills your filet of fish with cum.

Which is not beyond the realm of possibilities when dealing with McDonalds...