unfulfilled

[viciousred]

I've been in this relationship for almost 7 years. Its been no secret the whole time that I am into bdsm, and what not. I've asked, I've begged, I've attempted to instigate. He is a lot older than me. Our libidos are very out of wack and by out of wack i mean I want it every day and he would be fine with once a fortnight. I love him. But I'm starting to think about looking else where and finding it very hard to deflect attention I'm getting from others.

How can I fix us? Can I fix us? or is it time for me to leave?

 

[split2014]

time to go play the naughty cock starved hungry slut, and get your bdsm elsewhere, plenty of men are waaaiiting to lasy your ass cheeks as you take a throbbing cock down your throat shit fkn pm me ill et you started

 

[viciousred]

Thanks for the offer, but your not quite articulate enough for me.

 

[sa_van_ah]

Sent you a PM

 

[Mudhopper]

PM sent. x

 

[viciousred]

Sent you a PM

Your Inbox is full


Thankyou both for your PMs

 

[bdsmshade]

If you have stuck by this guy for 7 years and he won't or can't make the effort to give you what you need to make the relationship then I think you have gone well beyond the point where most people would move on. If someone can't fulfill you then you have the right to look for someone who will. Every relationship has some elements of doing things that are more for your partner even though not your thing (we all been there) after 7 years ain't gonna start now.

Since most of your replies are pm sent obviously you have plenty of volunteers to replace him. Have fun and good luck

 

[RunningJib]

Wonderful response

Thanks for the offer, but your not quite articulate enough for me.

Obviously the interests and libo of your present partner is a concern to you. Most likely the cause of self-doublt

May I ask why BDSM appeals to you?

 

[sparrow_]

I'm 23. Ive been in this relationship for almost 7 years. Its been no secret the whole time that i am into bdsm, and what not. I've asked, I've begged, I've attempted to instigate. He is a lot older than me. Our libidos are very out of wack and by out of wack i mean I want it every day and he would be fine with once a fortnight. I love him. But I'm starting to think about looking else where and finding it very hard to deflect attention I'm getting from others.

How can I fix us? Can I fix us? or is it time for me to leave?

Been exactly there.

The long and short of it is: it's been 7 years. He's not going to change. There are most definitely other options out there, so don't worry about that. Time to bite the bullet and start thinking about being happy at 24, instead of being stuck where you are now at 30... 35... 40.

I got out of a complacent vanilla relationship at 19, and I'm orders of magnitudes happier now in a kinky one. Feel free to hit me up if you have any specific questions.

 

[CutieMouse]

Doing the math, you started this relationship at SIXTEEN, and "he's much older than you"...

Given the number of offers you've received from your post, I suspect you'll at least have some opportunities for "online relief" (role playing, free cybersex, etc), but the bigger question is this -

Do the pros of the relationship, outweigh the cons? If they do; stay. If they don't; move on.

 

[BettyPoop]

Thanks for the offer, but your not quite articulate enough for me.

Your?

 

[KoPilot]

Speaking as someone who is kinda sorta in a similar situation--I met him at 19, married at 22, and he's 10 years my senior--you have yet to go through the most tumultuous years of your 20's. If you think that you've changed between 16 and 23, just wait for 23-29. You will change a LOT. Your tastes in things will change, your hobbies will change, your outlook on life, your circles of friends, and you'll end up discovering a lot about yourself (for better or for worse for your relationship).

S and I went into this knowing that he's been-there-done-that and one of the most chaotic decades of his life is over, and he's settled into himself much more than I have yet to do. But he's along for the ride with me. I've done a 180 on so many things that I'd held to be immutable about myself and my view of the world since not just high school but also my early college years. And he's accepted that with incredible grace and patience.

Just know that if you have problems now, your development as a young adult might very well reveal them to be Big Deals for you. And if your guy can't think on his toes and react appropriately, if he's being more conservative about your life together and your relationship than you are, if he can't welcome or even just weather the change, then you have no future together.

Just think about it: you had no idea who you were at 16. Nobody does. If he's basing his conception of you on who you were then, then things are so incredibly doomed. And this is just speaking in general terms, though it's completely applicable to your sex life too. Especially if he was never able to give you what you wanted? Something's gotta give, and it's either gonna be him or your heart and happiness.

 

[midwestyankee]

CM's advice is as sound as you'll ever get, yet the rest of us like to post too. Here's my question, that you should ask aloud when he's listening: "What would change if we both took 100% responsibility for the success of this relationship? Not 50/50 but 100% from both of us."

 

[subwannabe]

You can't fix it. It is time to leave. There are plenty of fish in the ocean. Continuing on this course will just get worse and worse. You've only got one life to live and you deserve to be happy. You are not obligated to be miserable just because you are in love. You can find someone to fall in love with who will also make you happy and not "unfulfilled". Might not happen today or tomorrow but it will if you want to grab for the brass ring instead of being willing to settle for an unfulfilled life.

 

[sparrow_]

Speaking as someone who is kinda sorta in a similar situation--I met him at 19, married at 22, and he's 10 years my senior--you have yet to go through the most tumultuous years of your 20's. If you think that you've changed between 16 and 23, just wait for 23-29. You will change a LOT. Your tastes in things will change, your hobbies will change, your outlook on life, your circles of friends, and you'll end up discovering a lot about yourself (for better or for worse for your relationship).

S and I went into this knowing that he's been-there-done-that and one of the most chaotic decades of his life is over, and he's settled into himself much more than I have yet to do. But he's along for the ride with me. I've done a 180 on so many things that I'd held to be immutable about myself and my view of the world since not just high school but also my early college years. And he's accepted that with incredible grace and patience.

Just know that if you have problems now, your development as a young adult might very well reveal them to be Big Deals for you. And if your guy can't think on his toes and react appropriately, if he's being more conservative about your life together and your relationship than you are, if he can't welcome or even just weather the change, then you have no future together.

Just think about it: you had no idea who you were at 16. Nobody does. If he's basing his conception of you on who you were then, then things are so incredibly doomed. And this is just speaking in general terms, though it's completely applicable to your sex life too. Especially if he was never able to give you what you wanted? Something's gotta give, and it's either gonna be him or your heart and happiness.

Well said.

 

[viciousred]

Thank you all so much for your responses. They have given me a lot to think about.

 

[eric60red]

I've been in this relationship for almost 7 years. Its been no secret the whole time that I am into bdsm, and what not. I've asked, I've begged, I've attempted to instigate. He is a lot older than me. Our libidos are very out of wack and by out of wack i mean I want it every day and he would be fine with once a fortnight. I love him. But I'm starting to think about looking else where and finding it very hard to deflect attention I'm getting from others.

How can I fix us? Can I fix us? or is it time for me to leave?

I have answers. Pm me to arrange a private consultation

 

[sa_van_ah]

Sorry ok now

 

[unregistered]

 

[SeraphinaCD]

It's a given most people on the internet seem to be completely incapable of spelling or using grammar correctly - that's what the world comes to when people spend most of their lives staring at a Smartphone - I'm convinced that "Wall-E" movie is going to be an accurate portrayal of humans as a whole in the not-too-distant future.

Poor grammar aside, as others have said to the OP, after seven years, if you haven't made your point, and it certainly sounds like you have tried, it's not going to happen. You are young, you obviously have an imaginative mind, I would not wreck the rest of my life staying in a relationship that wasn't satisfying my needs - especially not at your age. It may be painful to think of ending it all, but the more time goes on, the worse it will be.

Finding a good partner who's into your particular kinks isn't very hard - there are generally private clubs in most larger cities who would be eager to have you as a member and you can meet people there, or you can just create an account on fetlife and begin looking for someone there.

I've found people are either interested in this kind of stuff or they're not - generally not much middle ground here. If they're not, all the kinky clothing in the world isn't going to help. Good luck, and just make sure you VERY carefully screen whomever you may choose to experiment with; that's why I would suggest contacting a local club, attending some munches with them, and checking out the local scene. Generally, if they're respectful enough to be members of a club, they have a number of peers they have to answer to, and it's very much a "family" type of environment - if somebody gets out of hand, the rest of the group quickly comes to the defense of the sub that is being mistreated and the top/dom is quickly thrown out, never to be allowed back in.

Again, good luck, and for heaven's sake, you only get to do this once - don't waste it.

 

[DVS]

Some people are quick to judge, or offer assistance without really weighing all of the options, or the consequences for those involved. Remember, this isn't the general board.

And so many people are willing to "fix" a problem, or to offer help, but only through PM. We're all here to learn, help and expand our sexual horizons. Why keep this wealth of knowledge to yourselves? Share it with the rest of us and we all benefit.

 

[subwannabe]

Maybe Dr. Phil has joined Literotica.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

I've been in this relationship for almost 7 years. Its been no secret the whole time that I am into bdsm, and what not. I've asked, I've begged, I've attempted to instigate. He is a lot older than me. Our libidos are very out of wack and by out of wack i mean I want it every day and he would be fine with once a fortnight. I love him. But I'm starting to think about looking else where and finding it very hard to deflect attention I'm getting from others.

How can I fix us? Can I fix us? or is it time for me to leave?

Just tell him how it is, step up and be a man or I'm going to find someone who will use me as I feel in deserve, Like a cunt.

 

[bdsmshade]

Some people are quick to judge, or offer assistance without really weighing all of the options, or the consequences for those involved. Remember, this isn't the general board.

And so many people are willing to "fix" a problem, or to offer help, but only through PM. We're all here to learn, help and expand our sexual horizons. Why keep this wealth of knowledge to yourselves? Share it with the rest of us and we all benefit.

Oh come on we all know how pm advice tends to go. Even I've had it from guy's who think I'm a girl and it's normally limited to suck my cock, I'm gonna fuck you so good like no man can etc.

I know that's not fair have had the odd pm that has been really helpful and Intelligent but they are on the endangered species list.

 

[silkNstilletos]

I've been in this relationship for almost 7 years. Its been no secret the whole time that I am into bdsm, and what not. I've asked, I've begged, I've attempted to instigate. He is a lot older than me. Our libidos are very out of wack and by out of wack i mean I want it every day and he would be fine with once a fortnight. I love him. But I'm starting to think about looking else where and finding it very hard to deflect attention I'm getting from others.

How can I fix us? Can I fix us? or is it time for me to leave?

I know the feeling. I am in a similar situation. My husband claims to love me and yet refuses to have a physical relationship with me at all. It has been several years since we have had any sex. He tells me he loves me but he would rather lose me to another man then have sex with me. I want a physical relationship but I want to keep my marriage.