an erotic smack in the face

[Learnsmith]

I think what we're really learning in this thread is that eyer doesn't know what lust feels like.


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ojJ75b8ertU/T3W_FCE2HsI/AAAAAAAAA7k/DfcrL8AhHTQ/s1600/crocker.jpg

Could be DSB....dangerous sperm buildup.

They said the same of Joffrey. Next thing we know, Eeyore is gonna be crossbowing hookers. Get the man a glass of wine, stat.

 

[eyer]

If 'submissive' is meant to be an insult...

It was "meant" exactly as it was stated: as a fact.

 

[dolf]

eeyore

 

[eyer]

if you don't approve of a woman's sex life then you dismiss her as worthless. you would rather we were all married off, housewives, letting hubby's vote speak for us.

Of course I do...

...now get down on your knees and let Lancie show you what a man he is.

 

[dolf]

Of course I do...

...now get down on your knees and let Lancie show you what a man he is.

fuckation fortnight isn't for another four months.

 

[eyer]

fuckation fortnight isn't for another four months.

And that's a good thing...

...for it gives you another four months to hone the character you play in your independent act.

 

[bluebell]

They said the same of Joffrey. Next thing we know, Eeyore is gonna be crossbowing hookers. Get the man a glass of wine, stat.

Save all the wimmins, each Sonia, Jen, and Terry-
We only bless those who like missionary.
And as for those hookers,
Those girls who like smacks-
We won't save them one bit,
For it's all just an act.

 

[StrayKat]

Seeing you all having so much fun almost made me take him off ignore.

Or maybe not.

 

[Learnsmith]

Seeing you all having so much fun almost made me take him off ignore.

Or maybe not.

Dude's got issues. I fully expect to see him shoot up some sorority house after penning a rambling manifesto about why all women are whores. Whatever.
We tried.

 

[StrayKat]

Dude's got issues. I fully expect to see him shoot up some sorority house after penning a rambling manifesto about why all women are whores. Whatever.
We tried.

I would expect that from a few people I see around to be honest.

But I cant be arsed to pay attention to every dick that annoys me online.
Ignore is my friend

 

[butters]

Also, about this^. I'm real sorry to everyone else, because I'm about to hijack your shit for a moment, but I'm about to go all Kanye here (Yo, I'm real happy for you, and I'm a let you finish, etc.) But I just wanted to say something to this ONE SAD-SACK MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT HERE.

Okay, so here's the thing. There is a BIG difference between the psychology of an abused person, and a person who occasionally likes to be slapped or have their boundaries pushed in bed. A woman can totally get off on the rape fantasy, and can still TOTALLY be a feminist, can still believe in her right to respect, to bodily autonomy above all other things. She gives that trust, that exception, to someone who has EARNED it. And that person, if he or she is worth their salt, knows when to relinquish it again.

I am a feminist. I am a dude. I have played the dom, yes, (but not all the time, because who only ever wants to be one thing?), and I have slapped my partners, held them down, called them slut, bitch, whore, etc. during sex. Why? Because those partners SPECIFICALLY requested it of me at the time, and ONLY in that context. But here's the difference: a dom doesn't stop viewing his partner as a person, even during the act. An ABUSER never fully views his partner as a person. There has to be a distinction between fantasy and reality.

I've seen people who were abused. Alright? They didn't deserve what happened to them, and many of them were fully capable of escaping. But here's the thing about abuse: it's not just hitting and name-calling. It's about an entire system of control. Abusers dictate to their partners what they can do, where they can go, how they can dress, who they can talk to. They cut that person away from their family and friends, cut them off from their finances, cut them off from their dignity and self-respect. And if that partner objects, says Hey, that's not cool, well then they're just too sensitive, or they're hurting the person they love, or they're making the abuser feel bad. Abuse is about manipulation. It's an insidious process that goes on over YEARS. And abusers do it for a lot of different reasons - for the sense of power, for the validation it gives them, or because they SIMPLY DON'T BELIEVE ANY PERSON COULD WANT TO STAY WITH THEM BY CHOICE. In truth, abusers DON'T respect their partners as people, and very often don't respect themselves. The relationship between abuser and abused is toxic in both directions. But it doesn't mean anyone ever deserves to be treated like that, or be blamed for not knowing how to get out of it.

Here's the distinction: a dom knows when to take up control, and when to hand it back. And when it's over, the dom still values and respects the sub. The abuser does not - the abuser simply tightens down, escalates, until some critical break occurs. To be a dom is to have to exercise caution, judgment, and compassion for one's partner. It requires maturity and the ability to earn TRUST. And, ya know, for all the nice-guy act you put on, it's very clear you neither understand the distinction, nor want to. And for that reason, you could never be mature enough, trustworthy enough, to be handed that kind of power. You are not yet deserving.

Alright, end rant. Thank you everyone, I'm done.

exactly

given my years of experience with this kind of thing, and add my complete 'i don't do pain (the kind of pain i'm hearing spoken of in this thread)' thing, it's easy to understand why being hit in the face wouldn't float my boat. but i want to thank you for the rest of you post here, a it really helps me get a better understanding of the real whole dom vibe - there's way more to it than idiots dressing stupidly and slapping/choking/demanding things from their sexual partners.

 

[Fata Morgana]

How erotic is it for them if you hit them back?

 

[StrayKat]

How erotic is it for them if you hit them back?

For mine, equally erotic.

Cant talk about others.

 

[Que]

A sincere (but wrong-headed) worry that S&M might somehow tap into the other persons unhealthy cycle of abuse, or past history of, I would understand.

Some of the things expressed here, however, show an absolute lack of understanding of human psychology, much less the dynamics of power exchanges.

I have a fairly dominant baseline. In 20 years with the same person at some point we tried everything. A couple of times I switched. I liked it. I think I have decent switchy potential as did she. It was a tremendous feeling of relief and peace to not have to initiate what came next in scene. -To just relax and be.

Pro-Dommes will tell you that the vast majority of their (usually male) clients are very much strong men, "captains of industry" types. Submission can be a vacation for otherwise strong, very together people.

...and that doesn't even begin to touch situations where the "submissive' partner is very much controlling the scene, topping from the bottom.

 

[Lancecastor]

How erotic is it for them if you hit them back?

see "Californication: Fucking & Punching" for details.

 

[dolf]

How erotic is it for them if you hit them back?

some guys would quite like that.

 

[Fata Morgana]

some guys would quite like that.

Ooh. I'll try it on Phil Monday morning with an iron skillet. See if he gets a hard-on.

 

[butters]

Ooh. I'll try it on Phil Monday morning with an iron skillet. See if he gets a hard-on.

i've got to give you credit for enthusiasm, fata...

 

[StrayKat]

some guys would quite like that.

Some guys just like some girls like to both give and receive.

We are called switches, and the good part of the one sided BDSM community still cant wrap their heads around that idea.
Who does what when, do you flip the coin, how do you know who will be what..... meh

 

[Fata Morgana]

i've got to give you credit for enthusiasm, fata...

HR: Why did you assault your line manager when you arrived at your work station Ms Morgana?

Me: It was an experiment in eroticism.

HR: Clear your desk of personal belongings and you'll be escorted from the building.



Cue Phil with a REAL hard-on then.

 

[Learnsmith]

For mine, equally erotic.

Cant talk about others.

*shrug* Could be fun.

 

[StrayKat]

*shrug* Could be fun.

It is fun, if you are wired that way, and if you have a lot of mutual trust.

Requirements....

 

[dolf]

Ooh. I'll try it on Phil Monday morning with an iron skillet. See if he gets a hard-on.

pics please

Some guys just like some girls like to both give and receive.

We are called switches, and the good part of the one sided BDSM community still cant wrap their heads around that idea.
Who does what when, do you flip the coin, how do you know who will be what..... meh

angry fight sex is hot. it really is.

unfortunately, some guys just make me feel all melty, and I want to soak it up like a sponge not dish it out.

 

[Learnsmith]

pics please

angry fight sex is hot. it really is.

Yes'm.

 

[StrayKat]

unfortunately, some guys just make me feel all melty, and I want to soak it up like a sponge not dish it out.

I get that. They affect me the same way.

But then he makes a wrong move or does a little bit of that or little less of this, or I just get in pissy mood for no reason, and my inner bitch starts screaming to let her out.
Having someone capable of flipping and actually enjoying reverse role in that moment is pretty much a must for me to maintain longer lasting sexual relationship.