Women Don't Like Sex!!!!!!!

[StrayKat]

Are you saying society suffers because people think that women do enjoy sex?

I dont give a shit what "people think".

I am a woman and I enjoy sex very much.
My partners know that perfectly well too, no need to "think" about something obvious.

But CandiCame has a point.

 

[turquoise_sky]

Yes. Especially WOC. It contributes to this overall huge problem we have called "rape culture" where it's assumed that even rape victims actually secretly wanted to be raped because they would have dressed differently or acted differently if they didn't. There's undue emphasis placed on women's sexual availability rather than their intelligence, creativity, etc. It's like this huge thing? That women constantly bitch about? There's a 0% chance you were raised in the states and don't know that this is a thing. Politicians use it to restrict their access to healthcare; it's all over the news. So... you have to be a troll. I thought that you were going to say that you were from a culture where what you said made sense.

And the problem isn't the idea that women like sex; it's the idea that ALL women like ALL sex ALL the time. And that the only reason they would ever wear a cute outfit is to GET THE DICK, the only reason they would ever wear make-up is to GET THE DICK, the only reason they would ever want to prevent ovarian cancer via hormone therapy would be to GET THE DICK- to the point that some old dude lost all his sponsors for calling a cancer patient a whore for wanting her insurance that she had paid into to pay for her progesterone. And that's not true. Or even... sane?

Our culture is super fucked up. But it's fucked up in the exact opposite direction that you're talking about.

Geez.

My question was why do some people think that women don't enjoy sex, not why do rapists think that women enjoy being raped?

Your response is out of line and I would say you're the troll. Ugh.

 

[nowisthetime]

What I meant by not to feel dirty, I don't want to feel like the man looks down on me even if it is filthy, great sex. The mutual respect has to be there.

 

[CandiCame]

Geez.

My question was why do some people think that women don't enjoy sex, not why do rapists think that women enjoy being raped?

Your response is out of line and I would say you're the troll. Ugh.

Your question was about society. I wasn't just talking about rape. I was talking about an entire culture of victim blaming and slut shaming that my goddamn baby has to grow up in. You ignoring it and pretending like it's actually the exact opposite is dangerous, insulting, and rude. Because no one can actually be that stupid as to get the culture- the same culture that I'm talking about, the US, so completely ass backwards.

If we, as a culture, thought women didn't want to have sex, our insane theocracy would give them their goddamn progesterone. They wouldn't belittle them in court and make it incredibly difficult to get convictions for sexual assault. You're being an asshole. I'm just not sure if it's on purpose or not.

Have you ever MET a human woman? An American? Because you talk like you haven't.

 

[StrayKat]

What I meant by not to feel dirty, I don't want to feel like the man looks down on me even if it is filthy, great sex. The mutual respect has to be there.

All you have to do is stroll over to a BDSM board and see that some people prefer it other way, or all ways, or neither.
There are many kinds out there, thank god, makes life less boring.

 

[CandiCame]

All you have to do is stroll over to a BDSM board and see that some people prefer it other way, or all ways, or neither.
There are many kinds out there, thank god, makes life less boring.

Yeah, I'm actually kinda on the opposite end of that spectrum as nowisthetime.

 

[turquoise_sky]

Your question was about society. I wasn't just talking about rape. I was talking about an entire culture of victim blaming and slut shaming that my goddamn baby has to grow up in. You ignoring it and pretending like it's actually the exact opposite is dangerous, insulting, and rude. Because no one can actually be that stupid as to get the culture- the same culture that I'm talking about, the US, so completely ass backwards.

If we, as a culture, thought women didn't want to have sex, our insane theocracy would give them their goddamn progesterone. They wouldn't belittle them in court and make it incredibly difficult to get convictions for sexual assault. You're being an asshole. I'm just not sure if it's on purpose or not.

Have you ever MET a human woman? An American? Because you talk like you haven't.

Wow you're angry. Sorry to say it but I'm putting you on ignore.

 

[CandiCame]

Wow you're angry. Sorry to say it but I'm putting you on ignore.

I'm not that angry? I'm just telling you the truth. I'm actually drawing.

If I WAS angry, it'd be that I can't figure out how to color this shit on Photoshop the way I want. I wish that when you tilted the tablet the screen would also tilt.

Edit: That's not to say I shouldn't be. Our culture does suck, but like... I'm really lazy. I was talking about this in another thread. I don't try to fix things. And... that's a bad character trait to have.

 

[nowisthetime]

All you have to do is stroll over to a BDSM board and see that some people prefer it other way, or all ways, or neither.
There are many kinds out there, thank god, makes life less boring.

I understand, and I should have spoken for myself. I'm just into more of the sensual realm of making love and not into BDSM. Nevertheless, I still think sex is so beautiful and nothing to be shameful. I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin.

 

[Monica_112]

The idea comes from men. From Christian patriarchy. It stems from the virgin/whore dichotomy reinforced by Victorian values. Ongoing in Tabloid media

Its a mysoginism that is so widespread even some women accept it - good girls don't do that. Look at the terms we use for people with many partners and their connotations. Men are players, lads - all positive connotations, Women are sluts, whores - all negative. Find a name for a woman who enjoys sex

That said I've never personally met a man who thinks women don't enjoy sex but many of them still judge us for it, especially when the sex we are having isn't with them

 

[StrayKat]

I understand, and I should have spoken for myself. I'm just into more of the sensual realm of making love and not into BDSM. Nevertheless, I still think sex is so beautiful and nothing to be shameful. I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin.

Like I said, there are all kinds out there and I for one am happy for that

The idea comes from men. From Christian patriarchy. It stems from the virgin/whore dichotomy reinforced by Victorian values. Ongoing in Tabloid media

Its a mysoginism that is so widespread even some women accept it - good girls don't do that. Look at the terms we use for people with many partners and their connotations. Men are players, lads - all positive connotations, Women are sluts, whores - all negative. Find a name for a woman who enjoys sex

That said I've never personally met a man who thinks women don't enjoy sex but many of them still judge us for it, especially when the sex we are having isn't with them

Exactly my first thought and point.

Couldnt agree more.

 

[nowisthetime]

The idea comes from men. From Christian patriarchy. It stems from the virgin/whore dichotomy reinforced by Victorian values. Ongoing in Tabloid media

Its a mysoginism that is so widespread even some women accept it - good girls don't do that. Look at the terms we use for people with many partners and their connotations. Men are players, lads - all positive connotations, Women are sluts, whores - all negative. Find a name for a woman who enjoys sex

That said I've never personally met a man who thinks women don't enjoy sex but many of them still judge us for it, especially when the sex we are having isn't with them

Well said!

 

[Boxlicker101]

Hello, Lit Community:

I have recently come to see that I've been operating under the influence of an assumption: the assumption that women don't really like sex. That, to women, sex is a duty and an obligation, something that they put up with rather than enjoy.

I know that's not true, at least intellectually. I've had enough sexual experiences to know that women enjoy sex, at least the ones that I have known. It's an overgeneralization and stereotype. My point isn't to be provocative or to titillate; to get you ladies to say how much you like sex. I have something else in mind.

Now, I've been discussing this distortion with advisors and friends and it turns out that it's not an uncommon assumption among men, and perhaps at the population large.

What I'm interested in is where this bizarre idea comes from. I think that it's at least partially cultural, but that's not really an answer.

I'll do my best to answer any questions you might have for me and I look forward to your input and dialogue with you.

Sincerely,
Turquoise Sky

I don't believe it's such a bizarre idea. Generally speaking, single men and some married men indulge in casual sex whenever the opportunity arises, and this is not so with women. I remember quite well when most girls and women were adamantly opposed to non-marital sex, and it is kind of a hangover from there.

 

[Monica_112]

I don't believe it's such a bizarre idea. Generally speaking, single men and some married men indulge in casual sex whenever the opportunity arises, and this is not so with women. I remember quite well when most girls and women were adamantly opposed to non-marital sex, and it is kind of a hangover from there.

This is unadulterated crap nowadays

 

[Boxlicker101]

This is unadulterated crap nowadays

It might be crap now, but fifty years ago, "I'm not that kind of girl" was a very common response.

 

[CandiCame]

I don't believe it's such a bizarre idea. Generally speaking, single men and some married men indulge in casual sex whenever the opportunity arises, and this is not so with women. I remember quite well when most girls and women were adamantly opposed to non-marital sex, and it is kind of a hangover from there.

That... doesn't even make sense from a practical standpoint let alone a intellectual one, because most of those guys say that they're strait. Unless every single one of those extramarital or premarital affairs were gay... they would need women willing to participate in them. So... this belief system is confusing. But only if we're going with the premise that these affairs were all or mostly hetero.

 

[Monica_112]

It might be crap now, but fifty years ago, "I'm not that kind of girl" was a very common response.

Because "good girls don't"

Now good girls do

At least in major cosmopolitan cities, not sure what its like in the sticks or where religion remains central to communities

 

[CandiCame]

Because "good girls don't"

Now good girls do

At least in major cosmopolitan cities, not sure what its like in the sticks or where religion remains central to communities

The Bible Belt leads the nation in teen pregnancies. We're worse than you folk are. God knows my kid wasn't planned. Basically, Jesus doesn't want you to fuck, regardless of gender, but like... you don't really care? It's not that you enjoy it less or want people to think you enjoy it less; it's that you don't want people to think that you're doing it so you don't act like you've got any goddamn sense about it. As in, you don't think shit through with condoms and whatnot. I've had so many people tell me that they didn't get condoms because they were trying to pretend that they weren't going to have sex- right up until they "found themselves inside her". Like you fucking tripped and fell or someshit.

Kinda like how... if you've ever brought drugs. You know it's looked down on by society, but you're not gonna pretend that being high doesn't feel awesome. But when you actually go to buy the drugs you don't bring paraphernalia because it's an extra charge if you get caught? You smoke a joint with the dealer- all the while pretending that you just came over for a social call and then the drugs were just a happy surprize that neither of you knew was going to happen even though you went over there specifically to get drugs.

That's what a bible belt bootycall is like.

 

[Ishmael]

The Bible Belt leads the nation in teen pregnancies. We're worse than you folk are. God knows my kid wasn't planned. Basically, Jesus doesn't want you to fuck, regardless of gender, but like... you don't really care? It's not that you enjoy it less or want people to think you enjoy it less; it's that you don't want people to think that you're doing it so you don't act like you've got any goddamn sense about it. As in, you don't think shit through with condoms and whatnot. I've had so many people tell me that they didn't get condoms because they were trying to pretend that they weren't going to have sex- right up until they "found themselves inside her". Like you fucking tripped and fell or someshit.

Kinda like how... if you've ever brought drugs. You know it's looked down on by society, but you're not gonna pretend that being high doesn't feel awesome. But when you actually go to buy the drugs you don't bring paraphernalia because it's an extra charge if you get caught? You smoke a joint with the dealer- all the while pretending that you just came over for a social call and then the drugs were just a happy surprize that neither of you knew was going to happen even though you went over there specifically to get drugs.

That's what a bible belt bootycall is like.

So, the Bible made you spread your legs?

Maybe I should go to divinity school.

Ishmael

 

[nowisthetime]

It might be crap now, but fifty years ago, "I'm not that kind of girl" was a very common response.

Nah, they play the 'good girl' role and have fun fucking. I'm sure it was just as common, they hid it better. It's easier now with the invention of birth control pills.

 

[StrayKat]

It might be crap now, but fifty years ago, "I'm not that kind of girl" was a very common response.

I dont remember how it was 50 years ago but 30 years ago in a country far away from "modern western world", "I am not that kind of girl" was a common response to a guy we didnt find attractive enough to have sex with.

 

[CandiCame]

So, the Bible made you spread your legs?

Maybe I should go to divinity school.

Ishmael

Nah, that was hormones and my complete.... desire to do the sex. I have no regrets. I actually did really good. No STDS and 1 kid out of... 8? 9 years of being sexually active? And I only got that in the last year. Unlike most folk in the Bible Belt my birth control game is REALLY strong tho.

 

[CandiCame]

I dont remember how it was 50 years ago but 30 years ago in a country far away from "modern western world", "I am not that kind of girl" was a common response to a guy we didnt find attractive enough to have sex with.

I think that still works. Tho "fuck off" followed by pepper spray to the face probably works better. 30 years ago you probably could have just used the bottle of aquanet I assume everyone carried around with them to get that perfect 1984-style uuberhair.

 

[girlsmiley]

The idea comes from men. From Christian patriarchy. It stems from the virgin/whore dichotomy reinforced by Victorian values. Ongoing in Tabloid media

Its a mysoginism that is so widespread even some women accept it - good girls don't do that. Look at the terms we use for people with many partners and their connotations. Men are players, lads - all positive connotations, Women are sluts, whores - all negative. Find a name for a woman who enjoys sex

That said I've never personally met a man who thinks women don't enjoy sex but many of them still judge us for it, especially when the sex we are having isn't with them

You should post more, Monica.

 

[Debbie]

I was raised in my very religious Grandparents home. Sex was never discussed. It was deemed to be only for procreation and with your spouse on your wedding night.

For years I thought I was a dirty, frigid bitch who didn't like sex. I was ashamed and disgusted by sex and was practically disowned when I got pregnant before marriage.

Turns out I was wrong.

I don't lie back, think of England and lay still like a good wife should. (According to the teachings I grew up with.)

I found a guy who is great and found out that I love sex. It isn't dirty or disgusting.