Problems With Sex Scenes

[John988]

I'm a new author here (I posted my first story a few weeks ago), and I've been having a lot of trouble keeping my head in the game, so to speak, when writing sex scenes. I get caught up visualizing them, and, before I know it, I'm halfway to an orgasm. I've tried masturbating first, then writing, but I still get horny, which turns into frustrated because I can't do anything about it (I'm a guy, so, you know, refractory period and all). It severely impacted the first story I finished (the sex scene is the last scene, and I was so frustrated with not being able to think while writing it that I published with a bare bones scene), and it's really slowing down the process of writing my current story.

Does anyone else have this problem? If so, how have you dealt with it?

 

[Swilly]

Try a little self control?

Do you do the same thing when you have sex with a woman?

Take care of her (the woman/the story) and then yourself. It works better that way.

 

[VenusButterflies]

Yeah, I agree with Swilly.

I never masturbate when I'm writing a sex scene. You need to take that tension and write with it.

 

[KUJACK]

Scenes

Try back and forth dirty talk with someone and find a pic or video that simulates the talk. Talk lfor 20, 1/2 hrs until you are teased to a frenzy, Then go to the pic or vid and finish the deed. Works for me

 

[lovecraft68]

Yeah just let it flow during the story and let it blow afterwards.

I think writing while aroused helps the scene-minus all the typos you have to go back and fix because you tend to type too fast when excited.

 

[StrangeLife]

Stephen King writes in a comfortable office - not in a cemetery late at night...

 

[FantasyXY]

I have a slightly different take on this...

Try writing your sex scene. You will probably end up rubbing one out before you get it finished writing, but try to hold off. When you just can't wait anymore, rub one out using the scene that is in your mind as fuel. (the one on paper is likely still incomplete)

Then wait until you have 'recharged', and go back to that sex scene and start filling in more of the sights, smells, sounds and feelings that made you want to blow so bad in the first place. The new information will probably have you jerking it again, but who cares.

Recharge again, and go over the sex scene one more time. It should still give you a thrill, and you might find some details you left out. Feel free to jack it again if you need to. Do this as many times as you need or want to.

Now for the important step: Rub one out then immediately go back over your work and edit it for writing quality while there isn't much of a chance you will get too aroused to work on it.

 

[allamagione]

Ah! To wank or not to wank...

I find I do best when I write my scenes in place where it would be uncomfortable, embarrassing, or illegal to get myself off.

Of course, that comes with its own set of problems.

 

[John988]

Thank you for all of your replies. I'll work on channeling all of that energy, and we'll see how it works out.

 

[VenusButterflies]

Ah! To wank or not to wank...

I find I do best when I write my scenes in place where it would be uncomfortable, embarrassing, or illegal to get myself off.

Of course, that comes with its own set of problems.

Lol You got me thinking . . . I do write a lot of sex scenes on the train to and from work (and also at work) . . . I never thought about how it might play a role.

 

[allamagione]

Lol You got me thinking . . . I do write a lot of sex scenes on the train to and from work (and also at work) . . . I never thought about how it might play a role.

Let me guess. You're a reference librarian.

I've gotten pretty good at segueing from 'Oh yeah, suck that dick, you dirty little trollop' to "Hi, may I help you?"

Or at least I hope I have.

 

[lovecraft68]

Let me guess. You're a reference librarian.

I've gotten pretty good at segueing from 'Oh yeah, suck that dick, you dirty little trollop' to "Hi, may I help you?"

Or at least I hope I have.

Trollop, that's a good word, doesn't get used a lot anymore. It's usually just slut/whore.

 

[sethp]

I get aroused by my own writing. It's so good, that who could blame me? But I just stay in that aroused state while I'm writing. It makes for better sex scenes!

 

[VenusButterflies]

Let me guess. You're a reference librarian.

I've gotten pretty good at segueing from 'Oh yeah, suck that dick, you dirty little trollop' to "Hi, may I help you?"

Or at least I hope I have.

I am not. But I've gotten pretty good at shutting off my phone while maintaining eye contact with my boss or co-workers when they come to my desk to ask me a question. My peripheral vision is quite keen. Unfortunately, I have a terrible poker face. So I don't know how well I pull it off either.

 

[lovecraft68]

I get aroused by my own writing. It's so good, that who could blame me? But I just stay in that aroused state while I'm writing. It makes for better sex scenes!

Wow, talk about stroking yourself in more ways than one

 

[JKendallDane]

I use the old Siskel & Ebert "Two thumbs up" method of writing...

...as soon as a story has produced the "third boner up" then I assume that it is ready for Lit.

 

[FantasyXY]

I am not. But I've gotten pretty good at shutting off my phone while maintaining eye contact with my boss or co-workers when they come to my desk to ask me a question. My peripheral vision is quite keen. Unfortunately, I have a terrible poker face. So I don't know how well I pull it off either.

This reminded me... I was once writing a story while at work. It was about a woman who had been my administrative assistant (a secretary for all you old timers). This woman was very religious and proper, and my story definitely was neither of those things. The woman had moved to another part of the company a couple of years prior, but I could not stop thinking about her, so I started writing the story.

The story I was writing was actually my "go to" fantasy at the time, so it always had that special effect on me whenever I worked on it. One day as I was working on the "sex scene", the woman from my story walked into my office for a chat. I hadn't seen or heard from her in a couple of years. I was able to minimize Word so she didn't see what I was writing, but there was no way to minimize what was going on in my pants. I was extremely embarrassed, but at the same time incredibly turned on. Of course she never mentioned my erection, but I did see her sneak a look several times.

She had come to tell me that she had quit the company and was moving back to her home town. We talked for quite a while and my damn boner wouldn't go away. Eventually she said she had to go, and asked for a hug. When I hugged her I tried to keep my crotch away from her, but she pressed against me and rubbed herself on my crotch a little before turning and leaving. Turns out she wasn't as religious and proper and she let on.

I eventually posted that story on Lit. Now every time I look at it I remember the day I got busted by the very woman I was making suck me off in my story.

 

[VenusButterflies]

This reminded me... I was once writing a story while at work. It was about a woman who had been my administrative assistant (a secretary for all you old timers). This woman was very religious and proper, and my story definitely was neither of those things. The woman had moved to another part of the company a couple of years prior, but I could not stop thinking about her, so I started writing the story.

The story I was writing was actually my "go to" fantasy at the time, so it always had that special effect on me whenever I worked on it. One day as I was working on the "sex scene", the woman from my story walked into my office for a chat. I hadn't seen or heard from her in a couple of years. I was able to minimize Word so she didn't see what I was writing, but there was no way to minimize what was going on in my pants. I was extremely embarrassed, but at the same time incredibly turned on. Of course she never mentioned my erection, but I did see her sneak a look several times.

She had come to tell me that she had quit the company and was moving back to her home town. We talked for quite a while and my damn boner wouldn't go away. Eventually she said she had to go, and asked for a hug. When I hugged her I tried to keep my crotch away from her, but she pressed against me and rubbed herself on my crotch a little before turning and leaving. Turns out she wasn't as religious and proper and she let on.

I eventually posted that story on Lit. Now every time I look at it I remember the day I got busted by the very woman I was making suck me off in my story.

That's actually a pretty hot little anecdote.

Also, I'm glad I'm a female. I do not envy men their inability to hide their arousal.

 

[FantasyXY]

That's actually a pretty hot little anecdote.

Also, I'm glad I'm a female. I do not envy men their inability to hide their arousal.

I suppose that's true as long as you don't count nipples and wet spots.

 

[VenusButterflies]

I suppose that's true as long as you don't count nipples and wet spots.

Lol Well for nipples, we can just say we felt a chill . . . And for wet spots -- we must've sat in something.

 

[allamagione]

This reminded me... I was once writing a story while at work. It was about a woman who had been my administrative assistant (a secretary for all you old timers). This woman was very religious and proper, and my story definitely was neither of those things. The woman had moved to another part of the company a couple of years prior, but I could not stop thinking about her, so I started writing the story.

The story I was writing was actually my "go to" fantasy at the time, so it always had that special effect on me whenever I worked on it. One day as I was working on the "sex scene", the woman from my story walked into my office for a chat. I hadn't seen or heard from her in a couple of years. I was able to minimize Word so she didn't see what I was writing, but there was no way to minimize what was going on in my pants. I was extremely embarrassed, but at the same time incredibly turned on. Of course she never mentioned my erection, but I did see her sneak a look several times.

She had come to tell me that she had quit the company and was moving back to her home town. We talked for quite a while and my damn boner wouldn't go away. Eventually she said she had to go, and asked for a hug. When I hugged her I tried to keep my crotch away from her, but she pressed against me and rubbed herself on my crotch a little before turning and leaving. Turns out she wasn't as religious and proper and she let on.

I eventually posted that story on Lit. Now every time I look at it I remember the day I got busted by the very woman I was making suck me off in my story.

Ha! Did you really just tell us a naughty story about getting caught writing a naughty story? You are my hero.

 

[Serafina1210]

Lol Well for nipples, we can just say we felt a chill . . . And for wet spots -- we must've sat in something.

Much easier to explain than that puddle of white goo on the office chair.

 

[FantasyXY]

Ha! Did you really just tell us a naughty story about getting caught writing a naughty story? You are my hero.

Your dad should be your hero.

Now come on over here and make your hero your daddy!

 

[robertreams]

this problem should subside as you mature past junior high.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Dissociation is what you want when you wanna perform without intense feelings. Dissociated people do all kinds of marvelous wonders with no feelings at all. Dissociation are callus for the emotions.