Opposite of Daddy Issues?

[Texguy84]

So, if a girl has "Daddy Issues", it's generally understood to mean that she acts out based on a perceived lack of love or attention from her father, whether that means she dates guys that remind her of her dad or specifically dates guys she knows her dad would hate.

I'm curious if there's a name for when a man acts according to unresolved issues he has towards his daughter, whether it's the feeling that he never got love and respect from her, or feelings of guilt over neglecting his duties to her as a father.

 

[Cumference]

If it is the opposite, would it not rather be a "mommy issue", as a reaction to lack of maternal attention or just problems severing the mental umbilical cord?

Some men want their wife to be their mother, and in the cases I've seen, that has not been pretty.

 

[LadyVer]

Lol

 

[Texguy84]

Or if not the opposite, the inverse even. Anyways, I know what an Oedipal complex is called, I'm just curious if the reverse-Daddy Complex is a thing.

 

[MrFoxwood]

I'm pretty sure psychiatrists deal with fathers going through what you're describing, but whether or not it is common enough to be 'a thing' is another matter altogether. Also, I would assume that fathers are much less likely to make such issues known, either in private with a therapist or in public with friends.

Right or wrong guys generally talk less about their feelings and I'd guess that most people would consider a father having daughter issues to be more taboo than a woman having daddy issues.

If i's for a story I see no reason not to write it, for a lot of people it'll be a novel idea and for a few it'll be familiar. If it's for reality I think your best bet is asking a therapist, I'd be willing to bet that it doesn't even register on their 'weird shit I heard today' radar.

 

[laurasunshinegal]

thats a really interesting question!

 

[Emerson40]

Cat's In The Cradle, daughter redux

 

[SweetErika]

I'm thinking that's a fathering/parenting issue. I'm sure nearly all parents have some guilt or regret about how they've raised their children or the state of their parent-child relationships. Some justify it away, while others recognize and take responsibility for their actions.

 

[EbonyTigress]

deleted

 

[Texguy84]

I suppose that's one way to play it. Another would maybe be just that he has a compulsive thing for younger women (but I dunno how unusual that'd be considered anyways).

And to be clear, it was more just scratching a brain itch than anything personal or story-related.

 

[Hypoxia]

Yes, the opposite or inverse of Daddy Issues would be Mommy Issues, and we all probably have a bit of both. Some have step- and foster- and grand-parent and other issues too. IMHO the weird religions of classical Freudian and Jungian analysis' take of Oedipus and Electra 'complexes' don't deal well with such. I.e. parenting issues (of any gender) are rather complex, and don't adequately map onto descriptive axes of strict-vs-loose, smothering-vs-remote-or-absence, nature-vs-nurture, whatever. Are infinite varieties of causes and effects and tangential factors. Whew.

IOW, life sucks, but we live anyway, mostly. I've read that adults spend their/our lives searching or compensating for what was missed in childhood. Might as well blame those in parental authority.

 

[Acktion]

So, if a girl has "Daddy Issues", it's generally understood to mean that she acts out based on a perceived lack of love or attention from her father, whether that means she dates guys that remind her of her dad or specifically dates guys she knows her dad would hate.

I'm curious if there's a name for when a man acts according to unresolved issues he has towards his daughter, whether it's the feeling that he never got love and respect from her, or feelings of guilt over neglecting his duties to her as a father.

Well... in Jungian Psychology, he talked about the Electra Complex. However, I think it is significant to note that there is an undertone of competitiveness with the mother for the attention of the father rather than "just" some sexual tension there. It gets a lot more into "I'm a woman and she's a woman and he's a man, ergo I'm supposed to prove I'm more woman by stealing him" and that sort of thing when you move beyond the surface.

As far as when the father in a relationship has unresolved issues because he felt he never had enough love from her or neglected to show her enough affection and fulfill his duties to her as a daughter, I think they just call that "parenthood".

If you mean that it takes on a sexual nature whether it is aimed towards the actual daughter or towards her age-mates, I think there was actually a psychology philosophy that referred to that as a "Reverse Electra Complex" several years ago.

(Or, that may have just been a bunch of Psychology majors and a bunch of Philosophy majors mingling over wine that came in a box in a room where the smoke was particularly acrid and pungent. And I'm not sayin' which side of the room I was on.)

Either way, I think it mostly became buried under a virtual avalanche of "it's just midlife crises" and "all guys that age chase young skirts" and so forth and gave way to the (at the time) much rarer and therefore more interesting phenome that came to be known as "cougars".

I still think, however, that "Reverse Electra Complex" may be the closest thing to a name that was applied to the phenomenon that I think you mean... That of an older man viewing his daughter (or someone of that age) as competition with his wife (or someone of his own age) for his romantic rather than paternal affections and ending up with a mix of the two. I don't think it was ever given a more common name, unless it was "Men!" with accompanying rolled eyes.

On a sidenote, Texguy84, and I'm sure you get this all the time, but in your avatar, that is one huge cock. What is that? Like five and half, six feet?

 

[Que]

There is a reason that the description "nubile, young woman" exists, and that those two adjectives are used in tandem.

I have 27 year old friend that likes to remark, "She's all yours, Query...I think she has Daddy issues!" if he isn't making headway on a 20 something girl.

There is something to it. He is personable, 6'4", reasonably good looking, actually employed so one would assume MOST young women would find him worth at least a second look.

We have had some fun with it. The ones that spurn him DO tend to enjoy some attention from me, and vice versa.

My latest was an old and feeble 32...his was a sprightly 45.

 

[sexnovella]

Mommy complex

 

[SkylarFalling]

Not sure if this is what you're aiming at or not, but in a lot of daddy/daughter stories there is often a theme of the father not receiving enough attention from the daughter, either because of her mother or because of how he/she/they reacted to her beginning to become a woman. The coming together many years later to resolve feelings of parenthood cut somewhat short seems to be a theme in many I have read.

I love all the Freudian/Jungian psychology, but it does my head in.

On the other hand I did know one man who found himself unable to protect his mother and sisters from his father when he was a small boy, and now his main problem is that he has some kind of 'rescuer' complex with women and children from crappy marriages. Which often comes out in a fatherly manner but again isn't exactly the same thing...

Not sure how helpful I'm being but I love discussions of stuff like this so I will be watching.