To be or not to be (a dominant woman)

_Stroke_

Experienced
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Apr 23, 2014
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I feel a little silly confessing this, but what the hell. Here's the story.

I play an online 3D game called Red Light Center (similar to Second Life, so I'm told). I've been in the game for about 18 months, playing as a man, even though I am a woman in real. I started out as a power bottom boy, but as my confidence grew, I morphed into a dom top. I mostly top other men, but I will bottom for the right partner. On rare occasions, I play with women, or even rarer, with T-girls. It's all good with me.

About 4 months ago, I joined a BDSM family in the game. I started out as a slave (which surprised a lot of people, lol), but after a couple of months, I changed to a Dom. I've never practiced BDSM in real, but my best friend (and brother) in the game is a gay man who actively lived the lifestyle for 20 or more years, so I have a good teacher.

For reasons I won't go into (unless you just really want to know), I'm considering changing my avatar to female. My "dad" in the game has been in search of a dominant female to join the family (which is all gay men right now) for a while, so he's happy to know that I may fill that role for him. He wants to be certain that I'll be happy in the role, though, before I commit to the change.

My problem, however, is that I'm not sure I can do it. (Fucked up, right?) I have become so comfortable with playing a man in the game that I'm not sure whether I want to play a woman. When I watch gay porn, I usually identify as the top. When I watch straight porn, I usually identify as the man. When I watch BDSM, I usually identify as the (male) Dom. Only sometimes do I identify as the sub (male or female). And while I am attracted to women, lesbian porn does little for me. I'm just really picky about the women I'm attracted to. (Lesbian porn is probably made for straight men, anyway.)

So I don't know. I'm trying to think of different dominant female characters that I can identify with that I find sexy. Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct and Angelina Jolie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith come to mind. But when I think of a Dominatrix all decked out in buckles and leather and chains, I get a little turned off. Does anybody have some pointers that could help me envision this? I am open to suggestions and will answer any questions. Thanks!
 
That's the whole point of these alternate worlds isn't it? I'd definitely be playing as a total Tom of Finland power bottom guy and I'm a Dom woman, so why fix what ain't broke.
 
That's the whole point of these alternate worlds isn't it? I'd definitely be playing as a total Tom of Finland power bottom guy and I'm a Dom woman, so why fix what ain't broke.

I would agree with you, but a lot of gay guys, for some reason, totally wig when they learn that the person behind the avi is female. It's resulted in some very hurt feelings. But to say up front, "Oh, btw, I'm a chick," ruins things, too. So my game experience has become less than enjoyable. If I didn't love my family, I'd create a new profile and start over. Instead, I'm trying to stick with this one and make it fun again. I just need to make a switch in my head.
 
Does Red Light Center have a sex change clinic within its environs? it sounds like it ought to. If so problem solved, totally in role; how your loving family will react is another matter.
 
I would agree with you, but a lot of gay guys, for some reason, totally wig when they learn that the person behind the avi is female. It's resulted in some very hurt feelings. But to say up front, "Oh, btw, I'm a chick," ruins things, too. So my game experience has become less than enjoyable. If I didn't love my family, I'd create a new profile and start over. Instead, I'm trying to stick with this one and make it fun again. I just need to make a switch in my head.

Go super butch. I know plenty of women who are bio and are still Sir. And there are guys who *are* into that, if you still like andro-peeps.
 
Go super butch. I know plenty of women who are bio and are still Sir. And there are guys who *are* into that, if you still like andro-peeps.

Aw, why didn't I think of that? I was in-game tonight, chatting with my old Master. He had quit for a while, but returned and is now ... a slave! It was strange, but I totally dommed him, and he called me Sir because he didn't know that I was changing my sex (but he knows about me). I shouldn't have corrected him. I may keep the Sir still. Hmmm...loving it!
 
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