I don't wanna be gay!

robertreams

Literotica Guru
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Jul 17, 2007
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I am trying to write a young man who is currently denying his gayness to himself. So much so that he is in great turmoil over it. I myself have felt some of this. For many years I worried about my sexual identity.

Also that feeling of intense fear when you are about to be picked up by a stranger; that fear that adds so much to the excitement.

Would those who have had similar feelings share with me please.
 
Men seem to suffer two mental blocks over the stigma of homosexuality: first their fear of how their friends and family will react if they "find out" that he's "homo - I knew it all along" and their fear that being gay makes them "less of a man". One of the first rites of passage for a young man is to lose his virginity ( to a woman ) so that he can crack jokes about women along with the rest of the guys. Some years later, once he's got over that, the old niggling thought persists, that he finds other men sexual attractive. He fantasises about it, but is disgusted by it.

I feel sorry for men in that respect. The same society that teaches them it's ok to look down on women, teaches them to ignore their own feelings too. It's up to you fella, and it's up to all men. You made the rules - you change 'em.

Sorry if I'm being a tad cynical and I do appreciate how stressful dealing with your internalized feelings can be - I really do. But I can't help but feel what goes around comes around. Not meaning to attack you personally :rose:
 
I am trying to write a young man who is currently denying his gayness to himself. So much so that he is in great turmoil over it. I myself have felt some of this. For many years I worried about my sexual identity.

Also that feeling of intense fear when you are about to be picked up by a stranger; that fear that adds so much to the excitement.

Would those who have had similar feelings share with me please.
If you are gay then own up to it; it's not like you have the plague, being gay is just another way of life. Too many men are confused about being gay or having those thoughts. I figure that if a guy gets too defensive he needs to get a life. All men have thoughts about other men at one time or another, it doesn't mean you are gay. I love women and all their lovely parts, but I have experimented in the past when I was young and it was okay, but I still love my women. Don't let these feelings throw you, just go with what you feel and it will be right.
 
.

The initial apprehension about trying gay sex does make it
All the more exciting once you do try it. It adds to the spine tingling
Feeling. Makes your cock and balls feel that much more excited.
 
The initial apprehension about trying gay sex does make it
All the more exciting once you do try it. It adds to the spine tingling
Feeling. Makes your cock and balls feel that much more excited.

I'm bi. I'm an older male. But I'm finding myself enjoying man to man sex more and more. I'm a mild sub with my bud and love it. The orgasms are deeper and the kink factor is off the charts. I always drive off thinking about the next time. I don't consider myself gay. Just someone who likes sex with another man.
 
Thank you all so much. I have put these feeelings to rest myself long ago, but I believe the issue needs to be raised, hence, I include it in many of my gay/bi stories. I wanted, and still want, to mine the fdeelings and opinions of others on the subject.
 
You haven't attacked me at all, but rather elucidated exactly what I was talking about. However, I was looking for feelings and emotions, not polemics. I need to name those emotions for a character in a story.

Also be careful not to sound too much like a victim.
 
If you are gay then own up to it; it's not like you have the plague, being gay is just another way of life. Too many men are confused about being gay or having those thoughts. I figure that if a guy gets too defensive he needs to get a life. All men have thoughts about other men at one time or another, it doesn't mean you are gay. I love women and all their lovely parts, but I have experimented in the past when I was young and it was okay, but I still love my women. Don't let these feelings throw you, just go with what you feel and it will be right.

That is well said. I could not agree more.
 
You haven't attacked me at all, but rather elucidated exactly what I was talking about. However, I was looking for feelings and emotions, not polemics. I need to name those emotions for a character in a story.

Also be careful not to sound too much like a victim.
Sorry - yes: you're asking for personal experiences as ideas for a story.
I suppose you'd have to list all the people in the characters life who would be affected by an admission and then decide which carried the biggest weight, emotionally. Perhaps a parent who had very old-fashioned values, but who thought so much of their son's character? Then there's the internal conflict of denial and temptation to play with. Keeping the emphasis on emotions always makes the story more engaging and honest IMO. Have fun and post a link when you're done!
 
Sorry - yes: you're asking for personal experiences as ideas for a story.
I suppose you'd have to list all the people in the characters life who would be affected by an admission and then decide which carried the biggest weight, emotionally. Perhaps a parent who had very old-fashioned values, but who thought so much of their son's character? Then there's the internal conflict of denial and temptation to play with. Keeping the emphasis on emotions always makes the story more engaging and honest IMO. Have fun and post a link when you're done!
thanks. i was thinking in terms of lost relationsips when i began, you have fortiied that idea. I think that's where I'll go.
 
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