A Poet Walks Into a Bar . . .

[HarryHill]

Really Harry? AC/DC?
is this us from the not to distant past?
http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/154/8/3/beavis_and_butt_head_by_whitehosain-d5247py.png
I seem to remember using a Metallica intro for one of my poems.
Did you grow up any? I didn't.

Never did like Metallica that much and a great deal of my youth is conveniently forgotten, Kansas, Blue Oyster Cult, Starship, ...I painted the wall of my daughters nursery with a mural of the 'Hellbound Train' album once. Forgotten names forgotten songs, all of them sounding differently than I remember. Jim Croce one of the great Poet/storytellers of my time... shit this could get long if I let it and I've got work to do and words are crawling out so I better point them in the right direction; would you mind tending bar for a few days 'til I get some things sorted out? 'Dora only pays in dancing 'nanners they are under the trap door where Guido sleeps.

 

[Tsotha]

AC/DC is great.

I wonder who is the great cornholio?

 

[twelveoone]

AC/DC is great.

I wonder who is the great cornholio?

Don't start, I've already been tagged with a 1,000 nicknames, I don't want that added.
BTW the etymology of the word "cornhole" ? How the fuck do you even know that word?

 

[twelveoone]

Never did like Metallica that much and a great deal of my youth is conveniently forgotten, Kansas, Blue Oyster Cult, Starship, ...I painted the wall of my daughters nursery with a mural of the 'Hellbound Train' album once. Forgotten names forgotten songs, all of them sounding differently than I remember. Jim Croce one of the great Poet/storytellers of my time... shit this could get long if I let it and I've got work to do and words are crawling out so I better point them in the right direction; would you mind tending bar for a few days 'til I get some things sorted out? 'Dora only pays in dancing 'nanners they are under the trap door where Guido sleeps.

I have nightmares of Joe Strummer breaking into the house and singing
The ice age is commin...

 

[Tsotha]

Don't start, I've already been tagged with a 1,000 nicknames, I don't want that added.
BTW the etymology of the word "cornhole" ? How the fuck do you even know that word?

Well, I did watch TV when I was 10. I don't remember if it was subtitled in portuguese, but I do remember Beavis saying "I am the great cornholio!"

 

[twelveoone]

Well, I did watch TV when I was 10. I don't remember if it was subtitled in portuguese, but I do remember Beavis saying "I am the great cornholio!"

cornhole is ass fucking
I always wondered about that, how did the asshole become a corn hole? I always wondered about that (the problem of being a poet). This is theory on my part, it may have originated in the corn belt, a place where corn is grown. Turns out back in ye olde days (back when form poetry 'twas big) they had neither indoor plumbing, nor toilet paper. They had outhouses (with treacherous spiders) and corn cobs. Someone, somehow must have inserted instead of merely wiping. I have no desire to find out what they did in pre-corn days or in non-corn places in the old days.
This is the main reason America is so great, they do have the best toilet paper, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. They do have the worst commercials advertising it, but that is a small price to pay.

 

[HarryHill]

cornhole is ass fucking
I always wondered about that, how did the asshole become a corn hole? I always wondered about that (the problem of being a poet). This is theory on my part, it may have originated in the corn belt, a place where corn is grown. Turns out back in ye olde days (back when form poetry 'twas big) they had neither indoor plumbing, nor toilet paper. They had outhouses (with treacherous spiders) and corn cobs. Someone, somehow must have inserted instead of merely wiping. I have no desire to find out what they did in pre-corn days or in non-corn places in the old days.
This is the main reason America is so great, they do have the best toilet paper, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. They do have the worst commercials advertising it, but that is a small price to pay.

good day just stopping in to empty the till (traveling money) most outhouses were equipped wit three corncobs, two red, one white, you used a red one first, then the white one to see if you needed the other red one
*counts till* good night last night, push the vin ordinare and specialty drinks
ta

 

[butters]

good day just stopping in to empty the till (traveling money) most outhouses were equipped wit three corncobs, two red, one white, you used a red one first, then the white one to see if you needed the other red one
*counts till* good night last night, push the vin ordinare and specialty drinks
ta

i prefer to eat my corn... *looks at painting on wall*

oh my goodness. *looks for outhouses - doesn't see any. good*

 

[twelveoone]

i prefer to eat my corn... *looks at painting on wall*

oh my goodness. *looks for outhouses - doesn't see any. good*

all well and good butters, what does your tee-shirt say?
Harry-AC/DC, me Metallica, you?
Miley?

 

[HarryHill]

i prefer to eat my corn... *looks at painting on wall*

oh my goodness. *looks for outhouses - doesn't see any. good*

Morning you, my inbox is 100% full, try email if you need/want me. some flicks coming if I can find where I put the batteries when I cleared my desk.

 

[butters]

all well and good butters, what does your tee-shirt say?
Harry-AC/DC, me Metallica, you?
Miley?

miley? you shittin' me?
my latest says 'headsafire', but if we're talking 'if i had t-shirts with names on' there'd be Queen, Bowie, Simon and G-funk, Pink f-f-f-Floyd, Elton John, Beatles... just some of the old ones and never mind the classics - omg, i forgot TRex

Morning you, my inbox is 100% full, try email if you need/want me. some flicks coming if I can find where I put the batteries when I cleared my desk.

okies, i'll go take a look in a minute xxx

 

[twelveoone]

miley? you shittin' me?
my latest says 'headsafire', but if we're talking 'if i had t-shirts with names on' there'd be Queen, Bowie, Simon and G-funk, Pink f-f-f-Floyd, Elton John, Beatles... just some of the old ones and never mind the classics - omg, i forgot TRex


okies, i'll go take a look in a minute xxx

Wow, you have a tee with Simon Cowell and Fuck Daddy G-funk, rare limited edition, you must know somebody.

 

[butters]

Wow, you have a tee with Simon Cowell and Fuck Daddy G-funk, rare limited edition, you must know somebody.

but of course

more importantly for them, they know me

 

[twelveoone]

but of course

more importantly for them, they know me

I'd like to meet them, but I think of one them is me. Rumour had it once, both.

so whattle it be babe, beer?
hope you don't want a glass
Harry didn't clean up and left the place a wreck

 

[butters]

I'd like to meet them, but I think of one them is me. Rumour had it once, both.

so whattle it be babe, beer?
hope you don't want a glass
Harry didn't clean up and left the place a wreck

cold and from the bottle's good thanks
just can't get the staff... and the patrons... oy

pork scratchings?

 

[Tsotha]

cornhole is ass fucking

Well, that's funny. 10-year old me would've been horrified.

good day just stopping in to empty the till (traveling money) most outhouses were equipped wit three corncobs, two red, one white, you used a red one first, then the white one to see if you needed the other red one
*counts till* good night last night, push the vin ordinare and specialty drinks
ta

Yeah, ok about the corncobs, but what about the three sea shells?

miley? you shittin' me?
my latest says 'headsafire', but if we're talking 'if i had t-shirts with names on' there'd be Queen, Bowie, Simon and G-funk, Pink f-f-f-Floyd, Elton John, Beatles... just some of the old ones and never mind the classics - omg, i forgot TRex


okies, i'll go take a look in a minute xxx

Good music selection, butters. About one gazillion times better than Miley.

Nonetheless, one day during the 30 in 30 I was pissed off and decided to write this:

I ran around my gran's backyard
Without, taking any care
It slowly turned, into a chase
And now, you bump me down the lawn

Unlucky mishap, iron chair misplaced
Murphy always strikes true
Face to chair disgrace, blood all over the place
Murphy always strikes true

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit my face so hard
All I wanted was to break the fall
All it did was wreck me
Yeah it wre-e-ecked me...

Of course, I thought that was too horrendous, even for a bad 30 in 30 day... I'd rather fail the 30 in 30.

 

[twelveoone]

pork scratchings?

Well, I've never been hit with line before. It is something I prefer to do myself. Rubbing, perhaps, you can pretend its a tombstone see if any names and dates come up, just don't rub the wrong way.

Google says: Do you mean Pork Rinds? The potatoe chip of the American South. Never touch them, never eat anything that comes from a shell, never eat anything that walks around the ocean floor. Care for a tongue sandwich? They're great almost like having a conversion with yourself while eating.

and the patrons... oy
wots wit da oy?

 

[twelveoone]

Good music selection, butters. About one gazillion times better than Miley.

Miley just gets better and better, the above selection just gets worser or deader.

Actually looking at current tee shirts on sale to kids. (besides Miley) The Beatles, The Doors, Floyd ah ok. Guns n' Roses? what is somebody trying to be ironic here? One album before they blew themselves up.

I like Miley, just not her music. And I'll be dead before I see her ass on an AARP cover. Somehow there is comfort in that.

 

[twelveoone]

Alright Harry, my stint is over.

 

[Tsotha]

I like Miley, just not her music. And I'll be dead before I see her ass on an AARP cover. Somehow there is comfort in that.

You like Miley? In what capacity?

 

[HarryHill]

Alright Harry, my stint is over.

Hard to get good help

 

[HarryHill]

You like Miley? In what capacity?

someone link Tsotha to 12's Miley posts, lmao it's insider info that is too funny
the three shells, a Dredd question

 

[twelveoone]

Hard to get good help

yeh I know. I hate it when some asshole comes in and plays some cry in your beer song, it's my turn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8AWFf7EAc4
besides it is a little more current
thank you, I was actually writing, very mixed feelings about that
threw in this link for educational purposes

 

[Tsotha]

someone link Tsotha to 12's Miley posts, lmao it's insider info that is too funny
the three shells, a Dredd question

here

and here

and also here

... OMFG Miley is Juliet.

 

[butters]

yeh I know. I hate it when some asshole comes in and plays some cry in your beer song, it's my turn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8AWFf7EAc4
besides it is a little more current
thank you, I was actually writing, very mixed feelings about that
threw in this link for educational purposes

*listening*

*sighs*