The New Isolated Blurt BDSM Thread

[Dianthus]

To keep the duvet in place inside it's cover, this works for me: sew a small plastic drapery ring (usually used for making roman shades) at intervals along the outside edge of the duvet.

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTqhve4EovEtxmavj37hBFr4z3xt36_zDflRCxBCfG9krXxrbrV

Then sew a length of twill tape in the seam allowance of the duvet cover to line up with each ring. The piece of twill tape has to be long enough tie into a firm bow or a reef knot.

Turn the duvet cover inside out and tie all the rings down, then turn the cover right side out, taking the duvet with it. It should stay in place despite tossing and turning.

 

[crazychemgirl]

that seems way too complicated for me.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Come on, Ikea. Since when do you carry duvet covers without the holes on top, and why?

I'm sure it's som EU rule.

 

[seela]

I'm sure it's som EU rule.

Jävla EU!

 

[Primalex]

I should stop reading package inserts.


Adverse reactions:
- ...
- ...
- unexpected death


Great. Really great. We took it with humor nevertheless. "Hey, at least now it won't be unexpected."

 

[ace195008]

Yeah package inserts can be extremely scary, especially meds one needs

 

[IrisAlthea]

Jävla EU!

I should stop reading package inserts.


Adverse reactions:
- ...
- ...
- unexpected death


Great. Really great. We took it with humor nevertheless. "Hey, at least now it won't be unexpected."

And the dotted examples of adverse reactions were probably just the symptoms you wanted to medicate away.
Writing those inserts must be the perfect job for a sadist though.

 

[midwestyankee]

And the dotted examples of adverse reactions were probably just the symptoms you wanted to medicate away.
Writing those inserts must be the perfect job for a sadist though.

My favorite highly-promoted side effect is the "call your doctor if you have an erection lasting more than four hours." I'm guessing that "warning" has sold at least half of all Viagra and Cialis pills ever consumed.

 

[Loverskitten]

Yeah package inserts can be extremely scary, especially meds one needs

Or tampons

 

[bhndblueyes88]

To keep the duvet in place inside it's cover, this works for me: sew a small plastic drapery ring (usually used for making roman shades) at intervals along the outside edge of the duvet.

Then sew a length of twill tape in the seam allowance of the duvet cover to line up with each ring. The piece of twill tape has to be long enough tie into a firm bow or a reef knot.

Turn the duvet cover inside out and tie all the rings down, then turn the cover right side out, taking the duvet with it. It should stay in place despite tossing and turning.

Not that I don't appreciate your solution, but waayyyy too much work for my bachelor-esque sewing skills set. hairbands work just fine...

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

It's FFFFRRRRIIIIIIIIDDDAAAAY!!!

Cheers all! (Yes, even if it's not Friday for you).

 

[graceanne]

Hey... I'm in the US and I've had a few duvet covers with the holes. Holes or no, I toss and turn so much the comforter is all jumbled inside after a couple nights anyway.

I don't bother with the cover anymore - it's not worth the headache. We just make sure to use the flat sheet, and then I put a thin comforter on top of our blanket to keep the top clean, and that works for us. What's annoying me is that all the fluff keeps ending up near the bottom of the bed - I have to rotate the blanket regularly.

that seems way too complicated for me.

ditto

 

[IrisAlthea]

My favorite highly-promoted side effect is the "call your doctor if you have an erection lasting more than four hours." I'm guessing that "warning" has sold at least half of all Viagra and Cialis pills ever consumed.

I guess it's a slippery slope between desired and adverse effect. =)

 

[CutieMouse]

So here's a conundrum...

One of The Men™ ended things in August (not my decision), and the other ended things in October (not my decision). One of The Men™ (the one who's local, that ended things in October) and I have done everything we can to stay important to each other; we've been dear friends for almost 4 years now.

But it's been about 6 months, and I can't figure out how to move on. He's moved on... I can't seem to figure it out. I've tried dating; it upset me. I've tried not dating; it just reminds me I have no one to share things with. I [briefly] tried casual sex; I just felt worse. And now I'm stuck in this weird place where I'm afraid to be intimate, because what if I just end up right back where I am - where no one actually wants me? Isn't it painfully ironic that someone who's kinks include being used sexually, is afraid of just being used sexually?

I want to believe both of them when they swear I did nothing wrong, and it isn't a reflection of me, and I'm this amazing woman who deserves more than either of them was willing or able to offer... but it's been months and I still find myself struggling to believe it wasn't my fault somehow.And if someone I loved so much, that I thought fit (for the most part) doesn't want me anymore, then what does that mean?

I'm getting kinda tired of this emo-heartbroken girl stuff.

 

[Loverskitten]

So here's a conundrum...

One of The Men™ ended things in August (not my decision), and the other ended things in October (not my decision). One of The Men™ (the one who's local, that ended things in October) and I have done everything we can to stay important to each other; we've been dear friends for almost 4 years now.

But it's been about 6 months, and I can't figure out how to move on. He's moved on... I can't seem to figure it out. I've tried dating; it upset me. I've tried not dating; it just reminds me I have no one to share things with. I [briefly] tried casual sex; I just felt worse. And now I'm stuck in this weird place where I'm afraid to be intimate, because what if I just end up right back where I am - where no one actually wants me? Isn't it painfully ironic that someone who's kinks include being used sexually, is afraid of just being used sexually?

I want to believe both of them when they swear I did nothing wrong, and it isn't a reflection of me, and I'm this amazing woman who deserves more than either of them was willing or able to offer... but it's been months and I still find myself struggling to believe it wasn't my fault somehow.And if someone I loved so much, that I thought fit (for the most part) doesn't want me anymore, then what does that mean?

I'm getting kinda tired of this emo-heartbroken girl stuff.

The only advice I can offer is to cut all ties with them. You need time to heal. It's very hard to move on when you're still trying to remain close.
I actually just "unfriended" an ex on FB. It wasn't a long relationship, but I was like, "why am I even looking at pics of him and his new girlfriend in my feed?" It didn't feel good.

Spend time with friends. Ones who make you laugh.

 

[KoPilot]

Wowowowow

Learned the hard way the other night that we need safewords for the emotional and verbal humiliation/sadism thing. I didn't think that he'd take to it so completely and so suddenly and that we'd get to be more like boiling frogs?

Fuck that was intense by my standards, and I keep thinking about whether or not he tripped a hard limit or not. Oh well, we're better prepared from now on. :V

 

[IrisAlthea]

CutieMouse, I think it's perfectly reasonable to be heartbroken for a good while when two important relationships in your life have changed as much as yours have. Especially when life has thrown in some extra curve balls too.

Also, remember that it is quite possible to have people in your life that you're very compatible with and appreciate very much and still not be a very good longtime match with them because of conflicting life goels etc. You know, the people who would be your perfect partner in an alternate universe.

It's possible to stay close, in my experience, but it does take some time before the pain wears off. Sometimes it's worth it.

 

[Loverskitten]

CutieMouse, I think it's perfectly reasonable to be heartbroken for a good while when two important relationships in your life have changed as much as yours have. Especially when life has thrown in some extra curve balls too.

Also, remember that it is quite possible to have people in your life that you're very compatible with and appreciate very much and still not be a very good longtime match with them because of conflicting life goels etc. You know, the people who would be your perfect partner in an alternate universe.

It's possible to stay close, in my experience, but it does take some time before the pain wears off. Sometimes it's worth it.

I'm sorry, I totally disagree. She still has feelings for this guy.
Maybe in a year, when you're over him. But...
What's the opposite of love? Apathy. Only then you know you're over him/them.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I'm sorry, I totally disagree. She still has feelings for this guy.
Maybe in a year, when you're over him. But...
What's the opposite of love? Apathy. Only then you know you're over him/them.

Well, as I said: In my experiece.

 

[midwestyankee]

To prep me for my surgery in January, they shaved my abdomen and belly. Similarly, they shaved my upper chest before inserting the Medi-Port. Now I look like I'm wearing a silver ermine strapless bra for my moobs. Tis a sight most strange.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

To prep me for my surgery in January, they shaved my abdomen and belly. Similarly, they shaved my upper chest before inserting the Medi-Port. Now I look like I'm wearing a silver ermine strapless bra for my moobs. Tis a sight most strange.

midwestyankee sets fashion. He doesn't follow it.

So here's a conundrum...

One of The Men™ ended things in August (not my decision), and the other ended things in October (not my decision). One of The Men™ (the one who's local, that ended things in October) and I have done everything we can to stay important to each other; we've been dear friends for almost 4 years now.

But it's been about 6 months, and I can't figure out how to move on. He's moved on... I can't seem to figure it out. I've tried dating; it upset me. I've tried not dating; it just reminds me I have no one to share things with. I [briefly] tried casual sex; I just felt worse. And now I'm stuck in this weird place where I'm afraid to be intimate, because what if I just end up right back where I am - where no one actually wants me? Isn't it painfully ironic that someone who's kinks include being used sexually, is afraid of just being used sexually?

I want to believe both of them when they swear I did nothing wrong, and it isn't a reflection of me, and I'm this amazing woman who deserves more than either of them was willing or able to offer... but it's been months and I still find myself struggling to believe it wasn't my fault somehow.And if someone I loved so much, that I thought fit (for the most part) doesn't want me anymore, then what does that mean?

I'm getting kinda tired of this emo-heartbroken girl stuff.

It's always an interesting question, isn't it? I suppose, if it weren't, it wouldn't be a linchpin of art, music and storytelling across time.

I have it on good authority that The Men™ are correct. But yeah, doesn't make it hurt any less.

I started a thread a few years ago on dealing with heartache, and got plenty of thoughtful and heartfelt responses. (CM, you posted that extreme cleaning, wine and cupcakes were your go-to formula, so I'm assuming that hasn't put a dent in it this time. ) It showed how universal heartache is, and how wildly varied are it's cures.

I guess "cures" would be overstatement. Finding comfort to blur the passage of time seems more like it. For me, heavy drinking and exercise helped. But only a little.

What has brought you comfort in the past during painful times?

 

[CutieMouse]

It's always an interesting question, isn't it? I suppose, if it weren't, it wouldn't be a linchpin of art, music and storytelling across time.

I have it on good authority that The Men™ are correct. But yeah, doesn't make it hurt any less.

I started a thread a few years ago on dealing with heartache, and got plenty of thoughtful and heartfelt responses. (CM, you posted that extreme cleaning, wine and cupcakes were your go-to formula, so I'm assuming that hasn't put a dent in it this time. ) It showed how universal heartache is, and how wildly varied are it's cures.

I guess "cures" would be overstatement. Finding comfort to blur the passage of time seems more like it. For me, heavy drinking and exercise helped. But only a little.

What has brought you comfort in the past during painful times?

I suspect the additional heartache is simply an issue of timing... I mean, it's way more complicated than that in the not-fairest-way-imaginable, but the timing completely sucked/ sucks.

(It's deep enough that I can't bring myself to deep clean; I'm baking cupcakes but refusing to eat them, myself. Wine is simply a staple of life.)

Yes I still love The Man™. He honestly embodies about 9/10ths of the things I desire in a friend and lover, and has had a profound impact on my life. And for those reasons cutting all ties is not an option [decision made].

I get that time will heal things, and it's simply an issue of actively waiting it out. What I'm struggling with the most is this irrational fear that if someone who does genuinely care about me as a person, and like me (even if the intimate stuff ended), who embodied so much of what I want a long term partner to be doesn't see me as long term partner material... who will? Of course that's complicated by all sorts of current life-struggle (professionally and financially), which is magnifying the shit out of those fears), but how the hell do I even start?

I am obviously not "over" the relationship, which (IMO) means that ethically I can't start another one. Except that I want to have a relationship and someone to share my life with (for the first time in years... and have been wanting for a while). Which isn't going to happen, unless I suck it up and try to put myself "out there".

When I had a personals ad up saying I was looking for a relationship, all these guys wanting immediate monogamy and possible marriage kept showing up - cue the mouse running screaming from the restaurant. (One guy asked me on the third date if we'd seen each other enough to "finally be exclusive". W.T.F?)

I have a currently somewhat neglected ad up now, that explains I don't really do "traditional" relationships; I'm more of a start and friends and let things develop organically kind of person... which results in men going "Holy.Shit. You're intelligent, pretty, kinky, submissive, addicted to lingerie, and DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP??!?!?!!? SCORE!" and I get shuffled off into the "piece on the side" category. No; try again.

And all the while I find myself missing stupid little things I thought were bigger than they were.

Blargh.

[/whiny mouse whine over.]

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

To prep me for my surgery in January, they shaved my abdomen and belly. Similarly, they shaved my upper chest before inserting the Medi-Port. Now I look like I'm wearing a silver ermine strapless bra for my moobs. Tis a sight most strange.

Surely you don't have moobs!

 

[Loverskitten]

I just posted to another forum I visit occasionally. It censored the word "hell" really? I said "what the hell?" and it turned it into "what the ****?" which looks even worse. Really? Really? For crying out loud.

 

[midwestyankee]

Surely you don't have moobs!

Let's just say that my body isn't as firm as it was forty years ago and some portions tend to move around a little that never used to move.