Help with Coldores and Relationships

[YoungToy]

Help with Coldsores and Relationships

So, briefly put, I picked up a coldsore less than a year ago. Since then, my entire sex and love has come to a screeching halt. My hook up called it off a few months after because she was uncomfortable that I have it. I found another girl who I was actually interested in dating and things were going AMAZING, until I had to tell her that I was breaking out. Within a week, she stopped talking to me and got a boyfriend a month later.

I dont know what to do. Its destroying me emotionally and sexually and theres nothing I can do about it. I was on meds for a few months to keep it down, but that doesnt change the social stigma behind it.

I just need some tips, info, etc.

 

[YoungToy]

Coldores?

Thanks for that, its been edited. *Coldsores

 

[Cumference]

Thanks for that, its been edited. *Coldsores

Ok, you have contracted herpes.

Have you seen the doctor?

 

[Bramblethorn]

So, briefly put, I picked up a coldsore less than a year ago. Since then, my entire sex and love has come to a screeching halt. My hook up called it off a few months after because she was uncomfortable that I have it. I found another girl who I was actually interested in dating and things were going AMAZING, until I had to tell her that I was breaking out. Within a week, she stopped talking to me and got a boyfriend a month later.

I dont know what to do. Its destroying me emotionally and sexually and theres nothing I can do about it. I was on meds for a few months to keep it down, but that doesnt change the social stigma behind it.

I just need some tips, info, etc.

Find a girl who has cold sores. Seriously. There are dating sites that specialise in such things. Here's one: http://www.positivesingles.com/

(But first you may want to confirm exactly what strain you have, so you don't end up trading new infections with one another.)

 

[YoungToy]

Yeah basically, herpes. Its so common but it sucks. Ugh.

I went to the doctor and they said the only way they could tell for sure is to come when Im having a breakout very early on, which is kinda hard to set up an appointment for.

 

[fire_breeze]

So, briefly put, I picked up a coldsore less than a year ago. Since then, my entire sex and love has come to a screeching halt. My hook up called it off a few months after because she was uncomfortable that I have it. I found another girl who I was actually interested in dating and things were going AMAZING, until I had to tell her that I was breaking out. Within a week, she stopped talking to me and got a boyfriend a month later.

I dont know what to do. Its destroying me emotionally and sexually and theres nothing I can do about it. I was on meds for a few months to keep it down, but that doesnt change the social stigma behind it.

I just need some tips, info, etc.

Yeah basically, herpes. Its so common but it sucks. Ugh.

I went to the doctor and they said the only way they could tell for sure is to come when Im having a breakout very early on, which is kinda hard to set up an appointment for.

Seriously? Cold-sores? Something like 85% people have a strain and while many of them are asymptomatic, or had one outbreak, it's such a common virus that I am surprised that it gives people pause.

If you get cold-sores frequently, you may want to reevaluate your life - stress is a trigger. Also, have you considered taking Valtrex daily? Christopher could probably tell you more about the daily therapy, but from what I understand, it suppresses the virus so not only do cold-sores not form but you are less likely to inadvertently spread it.

Furthermore, you may wish speak to your doctor about having a standing prescription for Valtrex. My future sister-in-law (grrr) has a standing prescription. She will take in the meds when she thinks she feels one coming on for four days. It's worth a discussion.

And I also suggest that you don't make a big deal out of it. In all likelihood, your girlfriends all probably have the virus themselves.

 

[SweetErika]

The swab test is the gold standard, but there are blood tests for herpes, including one that will tell you which type you have, if you really need confirmation. I've never had a doctor or dentist require a test for treatment via a cream like Denavir or an oral suppressant like acyclovir or valacyclovir (Valtrex is the brand name in the US, but it's a generic here now), however; letting them know I get a cold sore occasionally and requesting treatment has been enough because it's such a common virus and cold sores are pretty unmistakable.

Because you acquired the virus more recently (I've had it since childhood; my mom gave it to me in a kiss or sharing food/drink when she was asymptomatic), and you're having outbreaks more frequently, it might be wise to go on a suppressive medication for a while.

As for dating, while you do need to disclose the fact that you have the virus to future partners, it's so common that you should easily be able to find partners who also have the virus and/or don't view it as a scarlet letter. Take every precaution to avoid transmitting it, and you should be fine.

 

[Miles Long]

Are coldores related to Hodor?

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4858734_700b.jpg

In all seriousness I echo the good advice you've already gotten about treatment. Plus anyone who wouldn't be with you because of this is someone you're better off without anyway.

 

[YoungToy]

Wait... are you talking cold sores or genital herpes?

Coldsores, like on the mouth.

Thank you everyone for the info. It may sound like something stupid because its so common but its killing me.

 

[SweetErika]

It's not stupid. It's upsetting to contract anything, even if it's common and/or curable. Take comfort in the idea that your herpes can be treated and the number of outbreaks will lessen as time goes on. I don't recall the last cold sore I got because it's been so long, and one of my friends just got her first after 16 years. Reduce your stress, take care of yourself WRT diet/exercise/sleep, look at ways of boosting your immune system, and talk to your doctor or dentist about your treatment options.

 

[amofiga]

Cold sores.....Herpes simples 1 are very very common. I read somewhere that something like 80% of the population harbors it somewhere in their body. If it weren't so common, you wouldn't see so many commercials for Abriva and similar meds on TV. Outbreaks on the mouth lips are possible when your immune system is compromised.....like when you have a cold or flu. It's NOT the same as herpes simplex II.... genital herpes but can be passed sexually especially through oral sex. HOWEVER, it shouldn't be a real problem if you are aware of what's going on in your body.

Herpes simplex I is well controlled with L-lysine and taking tablets, approximately 2000 mg, 1000 morning and night should help. Capsules can be bought at Vitamin Shoppe. If you have an outbreak, there is also lysine ointment that will help IF you start using it before the actual outbreak occurs. You can even make your own ointment by taking the powdered Lysine out of a capsule and make a relatively thick paste of it with water and apply regularly. The key is getting to it as either a preventative by taking the stuff or very quickly if you suspect an outbreak. To be safe in NOT spreading it sexually, no oral sex if you suspect or are in the midst of an outbreak on your mouth. It's really not that big of a deal.

 

[Sheana_V]

Anyone that cares about your cold sores is an idiot. If they come frequently take medication. If there isn't an outbreak, don't worry about it.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Find a girl who has cold sores. Seriously. There are dating sites that specialise in such things. Here's one: http://www.positivesingles.com/

(But first you may want to confirm exactly what strain you have, so you don't end up trading new infections with one another.)

Looking back at what I wrote, just realised that this could be read as "people with HSV should only date others with HSV". Not my intent! As others have said, it's quite possible to have a relationship without transmitting it. I just meant this as one possibility, and a reminder that there are women out there with exactly the same issue.

 

[robertreams]

So, briefly put, I picked up a coldsore less than a year ago. Since then, my entire sex and love has come to a screeching halt. My hook up called it off a few months after because she was uncomfortable that I have it. I found another girl who I was actually interested in dating and things were going AMAZING, until I had to tell her that I was breaking out. Within a week, she stopped talking to me and got a boyfriend a month later.

I dont know what to do. Its destroying me emotionally and sexually and theres nothing I can do about it. I was on meds for a few months to keep it down, but that doesnt change the social stigma behind it.

I just need some tips, info, etc.

Massive doses of Vitamin C

 

[Bramblethorn]

Massive doses of Vitamin C

Any clinical evidence for that? A lot of folk like to plug Vitamin C megadoses as a treatment for all kinds of things, but last I heard there was nothing that had been backed up by rigorous testing.

 

[LaughingHard]

Cold Sores

Try L-Lysine 500mg 1 twice daily at the first hint of a cold sore. After it resolves take 500mg daily. Most people find this usually decreases the number of occurrences and the duration of occurrence.

 

[Eilan]

My ex got cold sores, particularly during times of stress, and I never thought twice about it. Just didn't kiss him during an outbreak.

 

[IdahoRandy]

This helps

At the very first sign of one coming; I take some tissue and put fingernail polish remover on it and hold that on my lip for a couple minutes. It burns a little but it kills the cold sore dead. I have also had good luck with colloidal silver.

 

[SweetErika]

At the very first sign of one coming; I take some tissue and put fingernail polish remover on it and hold that on my lip for a couple minutes. It burns a little but it kills the cold sore dead. I have also had good luck with colloidal silver.

I can't support the acetone idea, although I've had good luck using straight tea tree oil, and the topical use of a silver preparation can't hurt (we always keep Silvadene cream handy for burns, and it really does help them heal by staving off infection). Doctors don't recommend using colloidal silver internally, however.

I recently got a cold sore after many years of being symptom-free. I wasn't sure if it was a sore or a pimple, so I used both tea tree oil and Abreva. TTO is strong stuff, so I only used it around the sore after the first day. It never fully developed or spread like cold sores I'd had in the past, and by the time I confirmed it was a cold sore about 5 days after it appeared, it was virtually gone. I'm guessing part of the mildness was due to having the virus for 30 years, but I think the tea tree oil and Abreva made for a great combination.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I can't support the acetone idea, although I've had good luck using straight tea tree oil, and the topical use of a silver preparation can't hurt (we always keep Silvadene cream handy for burns, and it really does help them heal by staving off infection). Doctors don't recommend using colloidal silver internally, however.

As far as I know, doctors don't recommend colloidal silver in any mode since there's no medical evidence that it helps with any condition. But taking it internally is especially discouraged because it causes argyria, which is great if you want to look like a Smurf but not so hot otherwise.

 

[drinkz]

Hey NightL, whine much?

 

[LoveToLurk]

Try L-Lysine 500mg 1 twice daily at the first hint of a cold sore. After it resolves take 500mg daily. Most people find this usually decreases the number of occurrences and the duration of occurrence.

I also find L-lysine very helpful when I first feel one coming on. I've gotten cold sores since I was a tiny kid. The combo of L-lysine and abreva works very well. I've never tried a prescription.

 

[IntmtStrngr]

hey...

zinc lozenges or tablets

 

[LaLaJ]

Massive doses of Vitamin C

Not sure if there is any clinical evidence, but I can tell you from personal experience it does help a little. At least it did for me, especially when I had stress induced outbreaks.

No need for massive doses though. Since vitamin c is water soluble your body will only absorb what it can and eliminate the rest when you urinate. So taking higher doses is just a waste of vitamin c pills. And it is also a myth that taking vitamin c helps to cure viruses of any kind, especially if you only take it when you are sick. You need to get the proper amount of vitamin c every day in order for it to be of any benefit.

I can't really add to what has already been posted here. Except to say that I believe the percentage of people infected with Herpes Simplex 1 is probably even higher, like about 90-95%. Most just don't get outbreaks, or don't understand what it is when they do get one. It is endemic in North America and so easily spread that there is not much you can do to avoid it. I have had it myself since I was about 14 years old. I traced it back to a friend I used to share lipstick with.

I never share anything that touches my lips now, to avoid infecting others. I think I did infect a former coworker once when I used one of the communal coffee mugs that everyone shared and forgot to bleach it after like I normally did. She drank out of it the next day and got a sore a few days later. Other than that the only person I know I have infected is my husband, which was pretty much unavoidable.

Speaking of which, there is one very important thing to remember that may not have been mentioned yet: Though typically cold sores are caused by Simplex 1 and genital herpes is caused by Simplex 2, it is possible for Simplex 1 to transfer to the genitals through oral sex. So do be careful to avoid giving oral sex when you are having an outbreak.

Other than that it should not have any affect on your ability to have a relationship.