stop missing someone

[Beck31]

even though I have essentially moved on with my life, I still miss someone but I probably shouldn't. Most of my friends have told me I'm doing the right thing. Sometimes I second guess myself and that decision. I guess it comes with the territory. People come and go all of the time especially when you're online. I am not so naive that I don't know that.

 

[emma_the_librarian]

even though I have essentially moved on with my life, I still miss someone but I probably shouldn't. Most of my friends have told me I'm doing the right thing. Sometimes I second guess myself and that decision. I guess it comes with the territory. People come and go all of the time especially when you're online. I am not so naive that I don't know that.

Sometimes you have to let it hurt to get over it. I try to put that time in its own chapter. I think "ok, so later in my life when I look back at that time, what will I remember fondly? What story would I tell my friends?" It's a way to encapsulate it -which helps end it and move forward. My two point two cents.

 

[Acktion]

Frankly, you don't always.

I don't know enough to know whether that's good or bad. But, I can tell you that there are people that I haven't seen in over two decades that I still miss as much as if it were only yesterday. I do know that I believe that if I can get over missing someone, typically my first thought when realizing it is that my feelings about them were shallower than I thought.

I know that probably doesn't help and probably wasn't what you were looking for, but there it is. So long as you don't let it get out of hand and lead you down the lie that "life isn't worth living" and the rest of that drama, I don't really see the harm in letting myself miss the people that I really care about that I haven't seen in awhile. There's always somebody else out there worth meeting and knowing just beyond the horizon that you can see. But, I don't see why that means I can't feel just a little sorrow that I don't see that other person any more.

 

[SunDevilGirl]

There's no answer to this question.
It's not possible to make yourself stop missing someone. You just have to move on.

 

[unregistered]

 

[box13]

Almost 30 years later I think about a few months of my 20s, and how that was really the last time I was truly [insert feeling here]. I know now that I can care about someone without having them with me. The moments still come and go, sometimes easier, and sometimes more difficult. Like waves feel when you're standing on the beach.

I suppose I'd like to think I can still feel deeply enough to hurt that much and for that long over someone I meet now (or met a year ago) as I do her. Suddenly I think life becomes like a dusty old shoebox of memories, and hurt, and loss, and love I couldn't have. And even perhaps I'd be better for it, if the shoebox was really full. So I'm going to miss them like crazy; love them like no one ever could as much.

I opened my hand. They did what they needed to do.

 

[southern_gal]

When I get that ache from missing someone that I know will likely not be in my life anymore I force myself to think about the good that came from it. I have no choice really. I could let it take over and leave me curled up in bed crying half the day but that is even worse so I think about things that make me laugh or smile. Something about the person that makes me glad that I knew them. Losing people that we are or were fond of will never stop happening to us so I try and make the best of it.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The truth is no one's worth the tears.

 

[Hypoxia]

Almost 30 years later I think about a few months of my 20s, and how that was really the last time I was truly [insert feeling here]. I know now that I can care about someone without having them with me. The moments still come and go, sometimes easier, and sometimes more difficult. Like waves feel when you're standing on the beach.

I suppose I'd like to think I can still feel deeply enough to hurt that much and for that long over someone I meet now (or met a year ago) as I do her. Suddenly I think life becomes like a dusty old shoebox of memories, and hurt, and loss, and love I couldn't have. And even perhaps I'd be better for it, if the shoebox was really full. So I'm going to miss them like crazy; love them like no one ever could as much.

I opened my hand. They did what they needed to do.

I'm in a similar place. I think of long-ago serious lovers, who could very nearly have become lifelong partners, but we each had to make other choices. We mostly parted with regret rather than hurt, except for the pain of loss. Do I ever get over them? No; I keep running what-ifs through my mind. Do they ever get over me? I know that some haven't -- they've made it quite clear that they still want me. And I still want some of them. The pain of loss is forever.

 

[Doog_kuron]

I can completely identify with all the posters here, there are two people especially that I miss bitterly. I would, if I am being perfectly honest here, walk bare foot upon broken glass for a mile to have them back in my life. Especially when I had lifelong hopes for them but it simply wasn't meant to be. The one I know feels virtually the same, no idea about the other. But as a few other posters have noted, sometimes in life people have to make tough choices, take different directions and you find them gone from your life.

I suppose in many senses it's akin to a bereavement, you just take it day at a time, find things to do with yourself. Then one day you find the pain isn't quite so sharp anymore. I also would agree that you will never forget that special person, but it gets easier for me to cope with that loss. Hope everyone on here gets through their missing someones.

 

[southern_gal]

The truth is no one's worth the tears.

I am actually sorry that you feel that way. Or at least I am glad that I don't. Maybe it is better being like that so I am not judging at all, it's just that by nature I sometimes draw loved ones so close that it hurts something awful when they are gone. The pain however has yet to be worse than the memories or things that they brought into my life.

 

[SherrieXgrl]

I still pine for someone who stole my heart, even though he moved on three years ago. I think I have rather come to the conclusion I may never 'get over' the feeling. But I do think that time, though not healing, is at least allowing me to reflect on things with more clarity.

I may still feel the pain of loss and grief but at least I'm getting used to living with their companionship and can keep them in a corner.

 

[InsatiableDsire]

I was JUST browsing threads thinking I wanted to find somewhere to post about the one I keep thinking about even though I know there is not a chance in hell. I wish I could truly let go. I KNOW he has. Its been a year and a half and I can't kill the glimmer of hope that he might change his mind... Pathetic.

 

[Doog_kuron]

I was JUST browsing threads thinking I wanted to find somewhere to post about the one I keep thinking about even though I know there is not a chance in hell. I wish I could truly let go. I KNOW he has. Its been a year and a half and I can't kill the glimmer of hope that he might change his mind... Pathetic.

I don't think it's pathetic when you care for others, unless he's a complete asshole and made your life a living hell...then yeah, a little pathetic But as it happens I feel the same way about someone else special, just have to keep telling myself it's foolish. Not always easy mind you.

 

[RedheadedHaze]

Frankly, you don't always.

... I do know that I believe that if I can get over missing someone, typically my first thought when realizing it is that my feelings about them were shallower than I thought.

Never truer words spoken. And sage advice.

 

[InsatiableDsire]

I don't think it's pathetic when you care for others, unless he's a complete asshole and made your life a living hell...then yeah, a little pathetic But as it happens I feel the same way about someone else special, just have to keep telling myself it's foolish. Not always easy mind you.

Thanks, Doog. I just wish I could LET IT GO. Sigh. I suppose he'll eventually recede into the background...

 

[sasspotsub]

Deleted

 

[sexnovella]

it takes time

But you will stop missing someone if you focus on having fun with a new partner with friends or just go out yourself and enjoy life before you cant