How to signal when tied and gagged

[LearnerDom]

First time play with a new sub, after the usual discussions, she would like to be tied up and gagged\face fucked.

If her hands are tied behind her back and I am holding her head.
How can she signal if she is in real distress and wants me to stop?
Obviously I will be watching her very closely but its not going to be like she can say the safety word or tap me?

I'm thinking of shrugging shoulders and testing this before we begin in earnst

 

[MeekMe]

I was informed holding a bell is a good idea. When in distress, drop the bell.

 

[LearnerDom]

that's a pretty good idea, but what if they are concentrating too hard on holding the bell or drop it by mistake?

 

[ecstaticsub]

I would seriously recommend not gagging and tying the first time your play together. Wait until you know her a little better.

After almost 9 years my Dominant can tell by my eyes and other body language when I am at my limit so i don't worry about having a safe word/signal in this kind of situation. I would say it took more than a few play dates before we got to this point.

Also if she is being face fucked and needs to stop either her vomit or her teeth will be sure to let you know

 

[MeekMe]

I totally glazed over the first time thing. So, what ecstaticsub said.

 

[DVS]

First time play with a new sub, after the usual discussions, she would like to be tied up and gagged\face fucked.

If her hands are tied behind her back and I am holding her head.
How can she signal if she is in real distress and wants me to stop?
Obviously I will be watching her very closely but its not going to be like she can say the safety word or tap me?

I'm thinking of shrugging shoulders and testing this before we begin in earnst

Personally, I wouldn't be doing anything so restricting this early in the relationship. A lot goes into watching someone, knowing what they can handle and what they do when they are in distress.

You guys can do as you wish, but I'd wait until I knew my partner better before I got into this kind of stuff.

A bell might work, but I think she'd have trouble keeping it quiet, so he might not stop quickly enough, once he heard it for real. I'd think maybe some electronic device like some cheap sound maker that runs on batteries. Make sure it's loud enough and the button is easy for her to find.

You could also use some button that is connected to your stereo or maybe a light wireless light switch so something very audible or very visible happens.

If necessary, tape the button to her hand, so she can't lose it in the heat of play. Now, if you want to know a good safe word, when you are being face fucked and you want it to stop...bite him or knee him inbetween the legs.

 

[LearnerDom]

Thanks guys all good advice, which I will take.
Its been a lot time since I played so I'm a little rusty and getting carried away with her positive responses to ideas

 

[DVS]

Thanks guys all good advice, which I will take.
Its been a lot time since I played so I'm a little rusty and getting carried away with her positive responses to ideas

I'm quite sure you're not the first to fall into that. Especially with new partners, their energy and willingness can um...inspire you.

 

[nicole001]

I was tied just recently and gagged, we used to have a safe word (on advice of a very sweet lit member who learned us a lot!) but when gagged I cannot speak . So then I shake my head mumbling Uh Uh. That is red for me.

 

[wildchild24143]

I was tied just recently and gagged, we used to have a safe word (on advice of a very sweet lit member who learned us a lot!) but when gagged I cannot speak . So then I shake my head mumbling Uh Uh. That is red for me.

I'm curious to know what made you call red?

 

[DVS]

I'm curious to know what made you call red?

She didn't say she had to call red. But, she knew it was necessary to have a way to signal red. That's what they decided would work.

 

[KlaytonFrost]

I've done this before with partners I know quite well. I'm able to tell when they want to pull away and have a break - so maybe get to know your partner more first?

Other than that, have them hold something in their hands and drop it if they want to stop. A bell is a good idea.

A friend of mine rigged up a little panic button that you can hold in one hand and flick with a thumb, which sets off a buzzer. Handy thing to have if you're good with wires.

 

[MzChrista]

I was informed holding a bell is a good idea. When in distress, drop the bell.

I just replied on this on the other board!

I don't think the bell idea is a good one because it is too easy to ring it by accident, and if the sub is thinking don't ring the bell..don't ring the bell.. Then their head is not in the game.

Best idea I have seen is to have the sub hold a bunched up bright colored handkerchief in each hand. They might drop one accidentally, but not both. If they drop one, put it back in their hand. If they don't take it or if they drop both at once, end of scene. It's not perfect, but it works pretty good. Even in a dark room, you'll notice a white hankie falling.

 

[YoungToy]

Also if she is being face fucked and needs to stop either her vomit or her teeth will be sure to let you know

Thats one way to have a moment killed for both sides