butters
High on a Hill
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not the first time i've been happy to be short of a schlong
The Isolated Blurt Thread III: Thread of Darkness
- Thread starter JohnnySavage
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not the first time i've been happy to be short of a schlong
IhateClowns
Censored
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Bagels on a schlong huh? I have done the donut ringer but pulled a hammy trying to eat it.
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- Apr 10, 2001
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- 66,713
It doesn't have to be bagels, yanno.
Doughnuts, those circular, blow-up floatie things, tyres....
You get the idea.
butters
High on a Hill
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- Jul 2, 2009
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- 86,037
you forgot to warm up first with the stretches, right?
butters
High on a Hill
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- Jul 2, 2009
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- 86,037
yes:
{man-thought} if it pokes out, don't waste it - hang summat from it. hours of fun!
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- Apr 10, 2001
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- 66,713
One of HBO's Real Sex was about a guy who liked to fuck his woman while "sporting" a bagel around his schlong.
In turn, his woman enjoyed baking cakes - monstrous, massive wedding-reception-like behemoths - and then sitting on the and squishing the cake through her closed thighs.
Personally, I'd rather eat the food and fuck the hippy-chick baker who made it all, but then again, I have a fondness for women who enjoy being woken up from a dead sleep as my cock finds its way home.
IhateClowns
Censored
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Pretty much. I started yoga and botoxed my lips I am within 7inches now.
IhateClowns
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Yeah the 9 1/2 weeks scene with the food did nothing for me. The vagina is already a mystery to me. Throw in a banana, syrup and some milk and all it will make me do is want to go to Marble Slab.
JohnnySavage
Literotica Guru
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- Aug 25, 2008
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For years and years one of my pet peeves (or mental problems, as the case may be) has been ugly police uniforms. On the news tonight they had some New Jersey cops... Uggg Leeeee!
Cops and doctors are two of the professions I don't care much for (although I recognize we need them and someone has to do it) because they (in my experience) are arrogant. But for crying out loud, why do cops have to look like they are in the high school marching band?
I prefer cops to wear black or dark green utilities with a web belt and alice clips.
Country Sheriffs should wear jeans, a uniform shirt and a hat.
A cop uniform should never include a tie or one of those stupid Smokey the Bear hats.
Cops and doctors are two of the professions I don't care much for (although I recognize we need them and someone has to do it) because they (in my experience) are arrogant. But for crying out loud, why do cops have to look like they are in the high school marching band?
I prefer cops to wear black or dark green utilities with a web belt and alice clips.
Country Sheriffs should wear jeans, a uniform shirt and a hat.
A cop uniform should never include a tie or one of those stupid Smokey the Bear hats.
IhateClowns
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- Feb 7, 2010
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- 25,386
Saw a woman walking a raccoon on a leash today. My daily reminder I live in Oklahoma.
IrezumiKiss
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 11, 2007
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http://25.media.tumblr.com/5440f9c6717b08b643092a6478449a29/tumblr_mzgqm2NT8c1tp5y9jo1_250.gif http://24.media.tumblr.com/1a345deafbf9852c6e79a5581c42a44e/tumblr_mzgqm2NT8c1tp5y9jo2_250.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/e847628d7c1ddfa2c0be51735cff7d4e/tumblr_mzgqm2NT8c1tp5y9jo3_250.gif http://31.media.tumblr.com/1680e971a53b778e2ab6453db6ea2abc/tumblr_mzgqm2NT8c1tp5y9jo4_250.gif
Lupita Nyong’o being absolutely adorable at the Vanity Fair shooting
http://25.media.tumblr.com/e847628d7c1ddfa2c0be51735cff7d4e/tumblr_mzgqm2NT8c1tp5y9jo3_250.gif http://31.media.tumblr.com/1680e971a53b778e2ab6453db6ea2abc/tumblr_mzgqm2NT8c1tp5y9jo4_250.gif
Lupita Nyong’o being absolutely adorable at the Vanity Fair shooting
I wonder if there are crazy raccoon people, like crazy cat ladies, but slightly more...off. If that's even possible.
Lorilei
asexual prude
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- Nov 4, 2007
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She's going to be a huge star. I'm fascinated with her.
IrezumiKiss
Literotica Guru
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Silverlily
Kitty Mama - East Coast
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2000
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- 13,101
There is no lack of pet products in this house. We have beds, cat trees, agility toys, squeekers, crinklers, ringy-things, tug-o-war toys, scratching posts, even a den for the dogs. PetSmart sent me a hand written Christmas card this year.
As such, the dogs are wrestling over a cardboard paper towel roll and Lila the kitten has been "killing" the remains of the coupon section of the paper for three days now.
*sigh*
At least sleepy pets are well behaved pets.
As such, the dogs are wrestling over a cardboard paper towel roll and Lila the kitten has been "killing" the remains of the coupon section of the paper for three days now.
*sigh*
At least sleepy pets are well behaved pets.
thør
Karhu-er
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- May 29, 2002
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- 92,470
Indeed!! Gained 4m 7s today.
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- Nov 22, 2002
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lol...
bluemuse
alma complicada
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- Sep 10, 2001
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- 10,646
Well yeah, you do have a slight advantage.
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