livin' in the closet

Silverluna

That's Professor to You!
Joined
Dec 30, 2001
Posts
8,195
I am a bisexual female....for those that don't know...how did you handle living your life in seclusion and isolation? OR was it more open right from puberty?? Have people been supportive or hurtful?

I, personally don't think I will ever leave the closet...there is too much to loose...just my opinion...

Discussions welcome....
 
I don't hide it, and I don't volunteer it. I'm me and when people get to know me, they figure it out the same way they figure out everything else about me. If they don't like it, here's hoping the door whacks em in the head on the way out.
 
Angel said:
I don't hide it, and I don't volunteer it. I'm me and when people get to know me, they figure it out the same way they figure out everything else about me. If they don't like it, here's hoping the door whacks em in the head on the way out.
Exactly my situation! Well-put, Angel. I also mention my girlfriend if I have to, using that word, and that'll often clue somebody in.
 
Etoile said:
Exactly my situation! Well-put, Angel. I also mention my girlfriend if I have to, using that word, and that'll often clue somebody in.


I love people's reaction when I say a girl is hot in front of them for the first time. My boyfriend gave me weird looks the first few times but he's used to it now.

;)
 
I had a male friend in college who thought it was great that we could discuss girlfriend issues together. :)
 
Etoile said:
I had a male friend in college who thought it was great that we could discuss girlfriend issues together. :)


Bleh, I could only discuss Male issues with my best friend/ex-roomate. He, while obsessed with my boobs was awesome about man issues. :D

My straight male friend could never have a mature discussion about girl issues that way. They might start out being okay and then it would dissolve into him getting a little bit too happy about it. :rolleyes:
 
Still in the closet...but for my own reasons

I'm not afraid my family will reject me. I'm sure they'd be supportive...I know they would. I have bipolar disorder, and was once diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder...(schizophrenia/bipolar)...and they have suspected but I haven't really told them straight up.

Why?

Because I know that I like women, but right now I'm questioning my attraction to men. I want to get to know myself before I tell anyone anything. It's just my thing.

Besides, I don't really like to share my sex life w/my family...

L8R
she
 
I am str8 at work, and gay at play.

So far the two worlds have not collided that I know of.

There is just too much to lose at work, that I don't want to risk it. But I just can't stand being that way all the time.

The truth is that most people just don't want to know. I acknowledge that position and honor their request. If you don't want to know, then don't ask.
 
I just walked into the closet!!

I am a 36 year old male who had just had his first gay experience.... although i enjoyed the physical aspects, I am having problems getting past the phycological hangups of being
"in the closet" ... the thought of coming of the closet out scares the crap out of me!!!!:confused:
 
Re: I just walked into the closet!!

bigbadbone said:
I am a 36 year old male who had just had his first gay experience.... although i enjoyed the physical aspects, I am having problems getting past the phycological hangups of being
"in the closet" ... the thought of coming of the closet out scares the crap out of me!!!!:confused:

Does your closet have an address?

Hay, if you can't get the mens to come to you, at least you can go to the mens.

Seriously though, the world is a very dynamic place, and posting here is a good start.

BTW, there is nothing wrong with being in the closet. Do what makes you feel comfortable, and screw the rest of the world.

:rose:
 
I am half in and half out.

My close friends know that I am attracted to women.... as do any men that have been in my life in the past couple of years.

My family doesn't know....or at least I haven't come out and told them 'Hey mom and dad...I am bi.' Uh would like to avoid heart attacks and strokes. I am sure they probably have ideas about it though.

Would they be supportive. I think after they got used to the idea... it would be easier for them. But, being that my mom is a regular church going christian woman... it wouldn't be something they 'accepted.'
 
Re: Re: I just walked into the closet!!

ithaqua said:
Does your closet have an address?

Hay, if you can't get the mens to come to you, at least you can go to the mens.

Seriously though, the world is a very dynamic place, and posting here is a good start.

BTW, there is nothing wrong with being in the closet. Do what makes you feel comfortable, and screw the rest of the world.

:rose:

I agree. I don't think anyone should feel compelled to come out of the closet, and I am firmly opposed to outting anyone against their will.

Your private life is just that, private and yours.
 
Re: Re: I just walked into the closet!!

ithaqua said:
Does your closet have an address?

Hay, if you can't get the mens to come to you, at least you can go to the mens.

Seriously though, the world is a very dynamic place, and posting here is a good start.

BTW, there is nothing wrong with being in the closet. Do what makes you feel comfortable, and screw the rest of the world.

:rose:

Leave some of the world for us.

People either know, or they dont... if they feel the desperate need to know they can ask, even if they wont like the answer.
 
I too am half in and half out. My parents and one of two brothers know my orientation. Luckily my parents feel my happiness is of the upmost importance. Only three of my closest friends know, although my best friend swears I am not lesbian...lol. It's just a hard thing for her to accept. I have to be careful about who knows because I have been through a nasty divorce and have a very vindictive ex. He would love to be able to prove I was a lesbian and have our youngest child removed from my custody and unfortunately this could very well be what a court would decide although I do not expose my youngest child to anything questionable at all. My oldest daughter is aware and supportive. I am a firm believer in one's privacy, and the right for people to know what YOU want them to know.
 
...i feel so alone....even if others might have an idea what i am going through ...the void in my life does not specify which gender should fill it...

*slumps off to think about stuff*
 
Annoying trite but true advice:

People need friends, and the big voids, we got to fill ourselves. They'll come to you, whoever they are, when you are happy with yourself and ready for 'em.

As for the closet, it's relative and it's your choice. I don't think everyone has to come out to be happy.

I'm a fan of the "need to know" basis. I won't deny outright except in unusual circumstances, but I won't go broadcasting things when they are clearly to my disadvantage either. People who get close to me are usually bright enough to catch on.
 
I am a 44 year old bi female. I was married for 23 years, and hid that part of me away until I left the marriage last year. I haven't told my family.......my ex would definitely hate me more than he does now and would probably stop me from seeing our 15 year old daughter who lives with him (her choice). My parents are elderly and not in the best of health, and maybe I'll tell my kids one day.....and maybe not :rolleyes:

I had my first experience with a woman last month in a 3 some with a male friend......and discovered that I haven't been just curious all these years. I live in a small town so only a couple of close female friends around here know, but the 3 men I have been with since I left my husband all know and are ok with it. I can't wait to move away from here in the next couple of years and really live life on my own terms, but meanwhile I am leading two lives here......:confused:
 
Silverluna said:
I am a bisexual female....for those that don't know...how did you handle living your life in seclusion and isolation? OR was it more open right from puberty?? Have people been supportive or hurtful?

I, personally don't think I will ever leave the closet...there is too much to loose...just my opinion...

Discussions welcome....

well now..as i have stated on this board before..i came out to my mother at the age of 16. Most of my closest friends are also aware of my sexual orientation. Everyone that I felt should know, knows and has been extremely supportive. The area where i live has a fair share of gay folk so it's not the big deal it night be some where else. I think though, that if anyone feels the need to hide their private life, it's their right and priveledge to do so. After all, what You do behind closed doors is no one's business but Yours!!!
PET:rose:
 
jadedpast said:
I am half in and half out.

My close friends know that I am attracted to women.... as do any men that have been in my life in the past couple of years.

My family doesn't know....or at least I haven't come out and told them 'Hey mom and dad...I am bi.' Uh would like to avoid heart attacks and strokes. I am sure they probably have ideas about it though.
Sounds familiar.

Though my ex gf just outed my to our entire office last week. She got drunk and started talking about being my ex--as well as my ex submissive.

That made for some interesting looks around the water cooler, let me tell you. I've never been more glad to work for a California university. At least I know I cant' be overtly canned for it.

The closet, while still useful, sucks right out loud.
 
I told my mother when I was fourteen. She promptly went off and told everyone else.

All my friends know. As does my family.

I don't think I've ever 'lost' anything.

RS:
"Though my ex gf just outed my to our entire office last week. She got drunk and started talking about being my ex--as well as my ex submissive."


Were you angry with her?
 
Last edited:
RisiaSkye said:
Sounds familiar.

Though my ex gf just outed my to our entire office last week. She got drunk and started talking about being my ex--as well as my ex submissive.

That made for some interesting looks around the water cooler, let me tell you. I've never been more glad to work for a California university. At least I know I cant' be overtly canned for it.

The closet, while still useful, sucks right out loud.

Holy shit Risia!
So are things cool or are you getting hassled?
 
I am a bisexual female....for those that don't know...how did you handle living your life in seclusion and isolation? OR was it more open right from puberty?? Have people been supportive or hurtful?

I, personally don't think I will ever leave the closet...there is too much to loose...just my opinion...

Discussions welcome....
I feel your pain. In my case it’s been knowing since very young that I shoul be female. It’s always been hidden, I’m of the older generation, it wasn’t talked about much then. Too late to turn my life upside down now and hurt others whilst doing so .
 
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