The True Cuckold - A Discussion

[MrRetro]

I’ve decided to start another ‘Cuckold’ thread but one in which I believe more accurately represents the reality of this lifestyle which is growing in popularity. I don’t have much experience with this type of relationship but my desire for it matures each day. I wish to generate some conversation on the lifestyle and gain some insight into other peoples perspectives and desires.

Firstly, the majority of ‘Cuckold’ themes appear to be from the perspective and desire of the male. This means that it is the male in the relationship which desires the ‘Cuckold’ lifestyle probably more than the woman. I find this odd because from my perspective I enjoy witnessing the female sexuality and her pleasure, there is nothing more enjoyable. I do not enjoy witnessing a woman who pursues a sexual relationship with a man for no other reason than to please her partner. I find this false and unattractive and so I believe the ‘Cuckold’ lifestyle should only proceed under the direct desire of the woman.

Secondly, humiliation seems to be a common theme in the ‘Cuckold’ world. This is something I don’t find attractive at all. Surely the majority of women would not want to directly hurt their life partners. I understand that there are people in the world that do enjoy this, but maybe humiliation can be reserved for humiliation play and not tied in with the ‘Cuckold’ lifestyle.

Thirdly, the potential for the woman in the ‘Cuckold’ relationship to fall pregnant by her lover is a fantasy all on its own, and this I do find somewhat attractive. Though I do understand it has some serious consequences and real life issues and unfortunately, this is a burden which mainly concerns the woman in the relationship. This is another reason why the desire for this type of relationship should originate from the woman; she understands the risks and accepts them, as does the man.

Fourthly, the term commonly used for the male lover in a ‘Cuckold’ relationship is a ‘Bull’, which I find particularly derogatory though I do respect where the term originates from. I think it not only relates to the virility of the male lover, but of the endowment. It seems to be a common theme, that the male lover will be substantially larger than the male partner in the relationship. I need to point out here that I only find this attractive if the woman desires it and she experiences pleasure. The true male Cuckold will enjoy his woman making love with a man of any endowment, as long as she is pleasured well.

Fifthly, the ‘Cuckold’ style of relationship depicted currently assumes that the male partner in the relationship will be given viewing rights to the sexual activity. I don’t think this is right at all. From my experience the majority of women will enjoy some privacy with a lover and most likely enjoy herself more this way. Whilst I don’t think the true Cuckold should always be banished from the bedroom, I believe the true Cuckold should always respect the desires of his woman. In this way, if she desires to be alone with her man, then the Cuckold should always respect this and cherish the occasions when she allows him viewing rights or maybe even sharing rights.

Sixth and lastly, there seems to be a ritual at the end of a ‘Cuckold’ scene which requires the male in the relationship to ‘clean’ his woman orally. Whilst I love going down on a woman sometimes more than sex itself, I've only ever been with one woman who desired me to do this for her following sex. The act in my opinion, demonstrates the Cuckold’s submission to his woman and originates from the desire of the man, not the woman. I am not against this act, I find it quite sensual, but I believe it should only be done if so desired by the woman.

 

[ProfQ1955]

Good luck on getting a discussion started. I just find your points confusing to what my definition would be. And in my confusion I can't remember if you listed how you want to be a cuckhold to a woman.

 

[ShouldWe]

I have not done this yet, however I like the idea of a softly softly approach.
Where both of us go to a bar separately and I watch her flirt and dance with other men, or women.
Of course, part of the fun is dressing for the occasion; everything from the short skirt to the sexy underwear.
Prior to the event, its always nice to role play it during lovemaking, which we have done and I notice despite being to modest to go and flirt for real, my wife cum's hard when we play this game during lovemaking.
I am not into humiliation.
After decades of marriage, and now in our mid 40' but still attractive; My thrill is simply to see my wife get turned on by another person.
How far she takes that is entirely up to her, but I believe that listening to her recount her adventures would certainly spice up our sex play.
I would never push this, it has to be her idea.

 

[OpenMouth]

Nice, I love the whole concept of this. It's just so erotic.

As it's unlikely I'll ever participate actively in this kind of relationship my interest is somewhat 'immature,' taken from porn and specialist websites.

I'm fascinated though to hear of the experiences of real participants; I guess things would be different to the movies and I can't imagine my wife and some imaginary black lover (her preference on the odd occasion when the subject has been discussed) wanting me in the house, let alone close enough to gain physical pleasure.

I can imagine her smile, the flush in her cheeks and little discrete snippets of information would be beautiful though.

So it's knowing she is fulfilled and sexually active, plus the emotional excitement of aching for her when she's, obviously, not available to me that would provide the biggest thrills.

 

[fasolati23]

I’ve decided to start another ‘Cuckold’ thread but one in which I believe more accurately represents the reality of this lifestyle which is growing in popularity. I don’t have much experience with this type of relationship but my desire for it matures each day. I wish to generate some conversation on the lifestyle and gain some insight into other peoples perspectives and desires.

Firstly, the majority of ‘Cuckold’ themes appear to be from the perspective and desire of the male. This means that it is the male in the relationship which desires the ‘Cuckold’ lifestyle probably more than the woman. I find this odd because from my perspective I enjoy witnessing the female sexuality and her pleasure, there is nothing more enjoyable. I do not enjoy witnessing a woman who pursues a sexual relationship with a man for no other reason than to please her partner. I find this false and unattractive and so I believe the ‘Cuckold’ lifestyle should only proceed under the direct desire of the woman.

Secondly, humiliation seems to be a common theme in the ‘Cuckold’ world. This is something I don’t find attractive at all. Surely the majority of women would not want to directly hurt their life partners. I understand that there are people in the world that do enjoy this, but maybe humiliation can be reserved for humiliation play and not tied in with the ‘Cuckold’ lifestyle.

Thirdly, the potential for the woman in the ‘Cuckold’ relationship to fall pregnant by her lover is a fantasy all on its own, and this I do find somewhat attractive. Though I do understand it has some serious consequences and real life issues and unfortunately, this is a burden which mainly concerns the woman in the relationship. This is another reason why the desire for this type of relationship should originate from the woman; she understands the risks and accepts them, as does the man.

Fourthly, the term commonly used for the male lover in a ‘Cuckold’ relationship is a ‘Bull’, which I find particularly derogatory though I do respect where the term originates from. I think it not only relates to the virility of the male lover, but of the endowment. It seems to be a common theme, that the male lover will be substantially larger than the male partner in the relationship. I need to point out here that I only find this attractive if the woman desires it and she experiences pleasure. The true male Cuckold will enjoy his woman making love with a man of any endowment, as long as she is pleasured well.

Fifthly, the ‘Cuckold’ style of relationship depicted currently assumes that the male partner in the relationship will be given viewing rights to the sexual activity. I don’t think this is right at all. From my experience the majority of women will enjoy some privacy with a lover and most likely enjoy herself more this way. Whilst I don’t think the true Cuckold should always be banished from the bedroom, I believe the true Cuckold should always respect the desires of his woman. In this way, if she desires to be alone with her man, then the Cuckold should always respect this and cherish the occasions when she allows him viewing rights or maybe even sharing rights.

Sixth and lastly, there seems to be a ritual at the end of a ‘Cuckold’ scene which requires the male in the relationship to ‘clean’ his woman orally. Whilst I love going down on a woman sometimes more than sex itself, I've only ever been with one woman who desired me to do this for her following sex. The act in my opinion, demonstrates the Cuckold’s submission to his woman and originates from the desire of the man, not the woman. I am not against this act, I find it quite sensual, but I believe it should only be done if so desired by the woman.

I find everything you have said to be exactly what I have found to be true, personal desires exempted.
I have a question. When does a "threesome"become the venue of a cuckold?

 

[ShouldWe]

I find everything you have said to be exactly what I have found to be true, personal desires exempted.
I have a question. When does a "threesome"become the venue of a cuckold?

I suppose its only the venue of a cuckold for the person who is watching someone of the same sex as himself or herself, make love to their partner of the opposite sex.
However if you throw gay or lesbian relationships into the mix, then it gets even more confusing.

 

[MrRetro]

I find everything you have said to be exactly what I have found to be true, personal desires exempted.
I have a question. When does a "threesome"become the venue of a cuckold?

I think a threesome can be the venue of a true cuckold, as long as his desire for the woman's pleasure remains his focus and priority... This obviously doesn't mean he should or shouldn't be involved sexually during a threesome, this is irrelevant, because the true cuckold will revere in his woman's desire for another man make love to her...

 

[MrRetro]

I have not done this yet, however I like the idea of a softly softly approach.
Where both of us go to a bar separately and I watch her flirt and dance with other men, or women.
Of course, part of the fun is dressing for the occasion; everything from the short skirt to the sexy underwear.
Prior to the event, its always nice to role play it during lovemaking, which we have done and I notice despite being to modest to go and flirt for real, my wife cum's hard when we play this game during lovemaking.
I am not into humiliation.
After decades of marriage, and now in our mid 40' but still attractive; My thrill is simply to see my wife get turned on by another person.
How far she takes that is entirely up to her, but I believe that listening to her recount her adventures would certainly spice up our sex play.
I would never push this, it has to be her idea.

It sounds like you have a good foundation in your relationship... I agree though, it has to be the woman's idea, even if it is desired by the man...

 

[ShouldWe]

It sounds like you have a good foundation in your relationship... I agree though, it has to be the woman's idea, even if it is desired by the man...

Thanks Mr Retro,

We've nearly been there a few times, in fact we may have been in the past, but there was never an admission.

I believe the big worry is people finding out, especially extended family members.

However, I'm content to just wait and see what happens in the future, I'll drop hints, give tacit approval, but never push.

 

[MrRetro]

Thanks Mr Retro,

We've nearly been there a few times, in fact we may have been in the past, but there was never an admission.

I believe the big worry is people finding out, especially extended family members.

However, I'm content to just wait and see what happens in the future, I'll drop hints, give tacit approval, but never push.

I can understand why there are worries, especially with extended family, this is not a lifestyle that the current paradigm promotes...

I think if the underlying desire is present, all you have to do is wait... I think you're on the right path, the desire has to originate from the woman and it's important she is aware that it is desired by her partner and know that she has his full support and approval...

 

[kucked2x]

Good luck on getting a discussion started. I just find your points confusing to what my definition would be. And in my confusion I can't remember if you listed how you want to be a cuckhold to a woman.

Many people like to discuss this. Maybe for some its a " if you can only understand if youve been part of it " thing....

 

[TJReilly]

I think a lot of people, (particularly men), confuse cuckold with voyeurism, threesome and male submissiveness. For a real cuckold husband, humiliation is the essential part of the experience, and his need for humiliation doesn’t automatically mean he is a wimp or submissive. Some men simply get aroused when humiliated, and knowing or seeing his wife give herself freely to another man is an ultimate humiliation for a cuckold husband.

The classic definition of a cuckold husband is a man who either can’t or won’t do anything about his wife’s infidelity and is humiliated by friends and family who look down on him because of it. While there are husbands who are cuckold in the classic sense, more often today, cuckold is a joint and cooperative effort by a husband and wife. Although the wife may enjoy sex with the Bull, she doesn’t take a lover because she dislikes or is disappointed in her husband; rather, (as odd as it sounds), she takes a lover to please the man she loves, her husband.

A typical scene for a cuckold might be: The wife has sex with the Bull, (sometimes in front of her husband, sometimes not), then taunts or humiliates her husband in ways that arouses him. Then when the Bull leaves, (which usually happens after he cums and loses interest), the husband and wife have great sex for the rest of the evening.

How she taunts or humiliates her husband depends on the couples mutual needs, and perhaps the sex is so good between the husband and wife because the humiliation, (and the initial denial of sex), makes him try harder to please his wife. The way it is practiced today, cuckold isn’t about a wife having sex with a lover outside of her marriage, it’s about a unique sexual relationship between a husband and wife. As disappointing as this will seem to most Bulls, the Bull is kind of a live sex toy for a man and his wife.

 

[gayle501]

wife and alcohol

My wife is 42, in great shape, but is a recovering alcoholic and quite often falls off the proverbial bandwagon. When that happens she seems to zoom right to the bottom and ends up in some car fucking some guy. The falling off the bandwagon is of concern and frankly I find the other part rather hot.

When I have caught her in the van with some guy, the image is quite erotic to me, yet I'm upset that she can't seem to completely not get bombed.

After I get her home she is very apologetic and when we have sex it is ultra hot to me, knowing she was just with a guy.

So, all of it is confusing in a way....I want her to get better, but I love the idea of seeing her with other guys.....just not in that circumstance.

When I think about it I get so aroused.....so I sometimes come to forums like this to talk about it and get aroused.

 

[HussarVanburen]

How about this for a succinct definition of a cuckold:

A (willing, fetish-oriented) cuckold is a man who has abjured his position as a man through a homoerotic urge to see another man take what is rightfully his but which has been alienated from him by his inner servility.

The manifestations of how the cuckold "relationship" (slavery) takes is irrelevant.

Now go read some Leopold von Sacher-Masoch and leave us alone.

 

[littlecordelera]

How about this for a succinct definition of a cuckold:

A (willing, fetish-oriented) cuckold is a man who has abjured his position as a man through a homoerotic urge to see another man take what is rightfully his but which has been alienated from him by his inner servility.

The manifestations of how the cuckold "relationship" (slavery) takes is irrelevant.

Now go read some Leopold von Sacher-Masoch and leave us alone.

Some "men" are terribly intimidated by what others do in their bedrooms.

Cuckolds...not so much.

 

[swmichcuck]

lived it

Having experience at this lifestyle I believe for me it's the humiliation I love the most.
My exwife still cuckolds me to this day and since my step daughter has turned 20 she too has joined her mother in humiliating me and she is very good at it. She loves to use a black lover or two and force me to watch her as she straddles my face and gets doggie banged. . . she then forces me to clean out her pussy if I don't want her to become impregnated by a big black stud. My ex likes to dress me up like a girl and service her and her lovers. I crave the humiliation. Not sure why.

 

[Joankraig]

I have seen my wife fucked by other men on many occasions, and sometimes I have just waited at home for her to return with a cunt full of another man's, or other men's, spunk. I love knowing that she is getting fucked by other men, whether I am there or not. And, yes, I do love getting my head between her thighs afterwards and smelling her juices mixed with other men's spunk. And cleaning up, too. Licking up the cocktail of thick spunky juices from between my wife's thighs is wonderful. Doing that makes me completely aware of what my wife has been doing, and excites me beyond measure.

If I am present when another man fucks my wife, I love first just watching him kiss and grope her, then gradually pull of her clothes to reveal her sexy body. And I enjoy the humiliation, too. I get very excited when my wife moans in pleasure as another man's cock ravishes her body, and I get even more excited when she tells the man that his cock is bigger and better than mine, and when she tells him to spurt his seed into her belly. Afterwards, I enjoy kissing and licking and sucking where the other man has been before me, and especially tasting his spunk in my wife's cunt. I love to see my wife being fucked by more than one man in a single session, because I know there will be copious amounts of spunk in her cunt and even in her mouth.

Very similar, not exactly the same, of what my husband and I enjoy. My husband really likes having sex with, but loves watching me with another and kissing and cleaning me up afterward. And, like this poster, more than one man in a single session drives him crazy.

 

[ilik269]

Very similar, not exactly the same, of what my husband and I enjoy. My husband really likes having sex with, but loves watching me with another and kissing and cleaning me up afterward. And, like this poster, more than one man in a single session drives him crazy.

beautiful red lady would love to lick you up!!

 

[kucked2x]

Bump

This is just ^^

 

[StrangeLife]

Firstly, the majority of ‘Cuckold’ themes appear to be from the perspective and desire of the male. This means that it is the male in the relationship which desires the ‘Cuckold’ lifestyle probably more than the woman. I find this odd because from my perspective I enjoy witnessing the female sexuality and her pleasure, there is nothing more enjoyable.

That's because cuckolding is a form of fetish behavior and female fetishists are very rare. Besides men can objectify sex to a higher degree than women.

 

[spankedboy]

Indian Wife Story

I think some wives who are somewhat bossy would find it a turn on to dominate their husband. However, I don't think they would humiliate them and ultimately, while she would go to the lover for sex, she would find stability with her husband.

 

[betabrad]

I think there is a difference between cuckoldry as a fantasy/fetish and cuckoldry as a real lifestyle.

The cuckoldry as a fantasy/fetish usually involves things like humiliation, forced bi, denial, voyerism, submission , etc.. , but I don't think that cuckoldry as a lifestyle choice would have to have any of those aspects.

I am 48 and currently single, and I know that I am just not good in bed , I never have been. I have just never lasted for than a minute or 2, therefore I know that I really cant satisfy a woman sexually. This is just how I am. But I do think I have a lot of other things I can offer a woman in a relationship; love , friendship, support, romance , basically everything else but a good sex life.

I am open to having a relationship with a woman that has sex with another man, but still that relationship would be based on mutual love and respect. Wouldn't this kind of relationship be called a cuckold relationship - where the woman has sex with another man but the man does not have sex with other women ?

 

[TJReilly]

I think there is a difference between cuckoldry as a fantasy/fetish and cuckoldry as a real lifestyle.

The cuckoldry as a fantasy/fetish usually involves things like humiliation, forced bi, denial, voyerism, submission , etc.. , but I don't think that cuckoldry as a lifestyle choice would have to have any of those aspects.

I am 48 and currently single, and I know that I am just not good in bed , I never have been. I have just never lasted for than a minute or 2, therefore I know that I really cant satisfy a woman sexually. This is just how I am. But I do think I have a lot of other things I can offer a woman in a relationship; love , friendship, support, romance , basically everything else but a good sex life.

I am open to having a relationship with a woman that has sex with another man, but still that relationship would be based on mutual love and respect. Wouldn't this kind of relationship be called a cuckold relationship - where the woman has sex with another man but the man does not have sex with other women ?

Everyone seems to have their own definition of cuckold, but I think what you are describing is closer to an open-marriage than it is to cuckold. The husband knowing he is inadequate in bed, gives his wife permission to find sex that satisfies her outside of the marriage, but being satisfied with the sex himself, (cums within 1 or 2 minutes), doesn’t have the need to go outside of the marriage to find sexual satisfaction. This is more of a husband giving his wife permission to seek what she needs.

From my own experiences, (and I’m not the cuckold), there is an emotional/psychological element in a cuckold marriage that you typically don’t find in any other kind of sexual relationship. To me, a cuckold marriage where the wife has sex with another man in front of her husband is more similar to D/s than it is to any other kind of male/female relationship. In the D/s lifestyle, some men and women have a strong emotional/psychological need to submit themselves to, and serve the needs of another. They find both sexual and emotional fulfillment through submitting to the will of another.

Applying this thought to cuckold: From a classic social perspective, his wife is the one thing a man is absolutely never supposed to share with another man, and being so, for the cuckold husband, the highest form of submission is to step back and allow another man, (often known as the Bull), to use his wife for his own sexual pleasure without any regard to what the husband may be feeling.

However, this is where the similarity between cuckold and D/s ends. While there is a strong need to submit, there is also an overwhelming sexual need on the part of the cuckold husband for humiliation. As odd as it sounds, it is the humiliation that arouses him. The humiliation the cuckold husband experiences doesn’t come from being ridiculed or degraded by his wife or her lover, but from his own inability to control his need to be aroused in this way.

The cuckold husband may want to stop his wife from fucking this guy, and throw the bum out, but he can’t. The husband is so frozen with arousal, he can’t move, all he can do is stand there and get hard. If you have never seen this happen, or never experienced it yourself, it is difficult to understand how this can happen.

Then when the Bull cums and leaves, (after he cums he usually loses interest and leaves), the cuckold husband feels compelled to prove to his wife that he is as good of a lover as the Bull; however, by this time the cuckold husband is usually so aroused that he may cum just trying to get it in his wife, farther humiliating himself. Then sometimes he will lick his wife clean still trying to prove he is an adequate lover. As degraded and humiliated, (and guilt ridden), as he may feel for allowing this to happen, he can’t stop it, and sooner or later his craving for this arousal through humiliation will drag him back to this scene over and over.

How does a man know if he is cuckold, rather than just being drawn to voyeurism, threesome, etc? Ask yourself this: If you were sitting at the dinner table, and out of the blue your wife told you she was having an affair; then went on to describe in great detail how big his cock was and what all they did in bed. Would “A”, your anger and humiliation force you to divorce her, or “B”, would your anger and humiliation force you to sit there craving more details because you are getting hard?

In my experience, it is the craving for humiliation that makes cuckolding different from other kinds of sexual relationships.

 

[wildchild24143]

Bump...

 

[bill3901]

Bump...

thanks for the bump, god this is hot