Any subs on here that can chat?

[Threeinchdick]

This may come as an outside the norm question but are there any subs on the forum that can chat?

I'm not a sub nor am I a Dom looking to pick up anyone or even a role play opportunity. I'm trying to understand something about the sub culture that may help me long term in my life.

I'm trying to understand the role of a sub in regards to the lack of sexual expression and if an emotional high is gained what can be done to release that from a subs view.

I had a major motorcycle accident a few years ago hence the question.

This may not be the best place to write this and I might get banned but I can see no other way of explaining it.

If you understand the question then please feel free to PM me and we can chat via PM.

Cheers

 

[Stella_Omega]

I don't do PM's, and I think you will find a very sympathetic and respectful conversation here, with lots of ideas for you to use.

Are you thinking about yourself, or about someone you want to satisfy? Either way, there are so many ways of making love that don't rely on a working penis, for instance. Lesbians satisfy each other all of the time!

Are you wondering if that impact play might help you release endorphins for pleasure? The answer is yes if you happen to be wired that way, and more people are than might realise it. I would think it's worth a try for you.

The other thing about bottoming (please read the essay linked in my signature) is that the bottom has a LOT of attention paid to him or her during a scene, and that is incredibly gratifying for most of us.

 

[Threeinchdick]

Its more a question of how to deal with the sexual frustration after. The mind works and so does the rest of me but I ended up feeling very frustrated and here lies my personal issue.

I have been badly abused by others in the 25 years since sexually and I need to find closure for me so that I can move on.

 

[KoPilot]

Frustration is the result of a reality not meeting expectations, right? The expectations of an s-type individual are different, but not so different, than someone vanilla. Most of us have always been wired to receive pleasure and satisfaction in "roundabout" ways, so I don't know how much trying to change your opinion of what a satisfying sexual experience entails might help.

 

[Threeinchdick]

Frustration is the result of a reality not meeting expectations, right? The expectations of an s-type individual are different, but not so different, than someone vanilla. Most of us have always been wired to receive pleasure and satisfaction in "roundabout" ways, so I don't know how much trying to change your opinion of what a satisfying sexual experience entails might help.

Good question, to which I dont have the answer.

I was hoping that I might discover something that might help me at least make personal peace with the issue from hearing about others and there views.

At the end of the day, mine is only 1 perspective of thousands.

 

[Pachet]

I had a friend whose situation was similar. He still had feeling in his nipples, so he enjoyed stimulation there, and he liked watching a woman get herself off for his pleasure, telling her what to do and how to do it. He also liked making her wait and wait and wait for release - maybe he was able to sublimate some of his frustration that way. It worked for him, anyway.

As a female and a sub I would say that so much of sex is in my mind. Thoughts, fantasies I've had for ages, especially the ones that are more difficult to make come true. Sometimes that longing and frustration can be pleasurable in it's own way, although I'm not saying it's the same as your situation.

I believe we can make something good out of something unfortunate no matter what the situation is. I wish you good luck

 

[Threeinchdick]

I had a friend whose situation was similar. He still had feeling in his nipples, so he enjoyed stimulation there, and he liked watching a woman get herself off for his pleasure, telling her what to do and how to do it. He also liked making her wait and wait and wait for release - maybe he was able to sublimate some of his frustration that way. It worked for him, anyway.

As a female and a sub I would say that so much of sex is in my mind. Thoughts, fantasies I've had for ages, especially the ones that are more difficult to make come true. Sometimes that longing and frustration can be pleasurable in it's own way, although I'm not saying it's the same as your situation.

I believe we can make something good out of something unfortunate no matter what the situation is. I wish you good luck

Cheers Pachet.

I wish I could turn it off in my head or find a way of releasing it than get so frustrated.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

There are Masters who can induce orgasm in their sub, simply by speaking a command. No physical contact whatsoever.
It is true that the biggest sex organ is the brain, and that can take you anywhere once it is conditioned to.
Flogging, I don't get off on it, it relaxes me, I go into subspace and drift away. I know some subs do get off on pain, I guess I am not wired that way.

Much of submission is breaking down mental barriers to achieve a place where you can fully place your trust in your Top and to submit to their will.

 

[Pachet]

Cheers Pachet.

I wish I could turn it off in my head or find a way of releasing it than get so frustrated.

Is it possible you could have any Dom leanings? A good friend of mine who's a Dom says even just flogging (caning, what have you) his sub is a tremendous release, and not just sexually - it lessens his frustration, makes him happier and easier to be around overall... and the sub gets something out of it too, because it's something she wants and craves. Obviously if you have no desire for that, that's not an option, and that's fine. But if you're open to it, it could be something to explore? Power is a mental thing as well. In many cases the only power someone has over us is the power we willingly give to them. I'm a sub so I don't know firsthand, but I'm told the experience of wielding that power can be incredible, with or without sexual contact.

 

[Threeinchdick]

Cheers Pachet. That's not something that I had considered but I do have more of a dominant leaning than a sub.