As The Hospital Pervs

[sweepthefloor]

There are fresh fruit vending machines. Apples, oranges, bananas, etc. I've only seen them a couple of places. I would think a hospital should have them.

The best way to encourage healthy eating is to make it EASY.

Mention it to someone in Admin so it can become their idea and they can get a bonus for implementing it.

8(

There is a cafeteria. I have to learn to start packing like the good nurse.

Hahahaha Administration? There is a reason that clock out "no lunch" exists. They know that if they don't pay us for the "no lunch" we would revolt.

You know what Admin did? They put a patient monitor in our lounge: eating lunch... is that my patient having v-tach???

I am dramatic: there are days that I eat breakfast, and lunch.
Sometimes it's a matter of stopping everything and prioritizing.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I'm bouncing off the monitors looking like v-tach.

I'm forcing a yogurt before I change the dressing on a wound to the bone, and I mean to the bone.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I could change the dressing on a dick bone with my saline soaked mouth and wrap it with wet sterile love.

 

[sweepthefloor]

There's only 8 more hours to go LOL

 

[Balladeer08]

I could change the dressing on a dick bone with my saline soaked mouth and wrap it with wet sterile love.

Nurse! More suction!

 

[sweepthefloor]

The suction is always set up. There's 5 suction canisters in every room, and a portable suction on each code cart.

I'm not sure why it's called a code "cart" it's really a code tool box.

And we all left on time, but I only have a teaspoon of fuel in my car.

 

[sweepthefloor]

And we steamrolled everyone by 3pm yesterday hoping to get out on time--it didn't work. I picked up a patient to send a nurse home at 2pm, took two admissions at 6:30pm-- all while making the night shift assignment, doing rounds, giving unit report to the supervisor, and then unit report to the night charge nurse-- and staffing for the next day.

I want to make everyone happy. It ended up with a little argument with this man nurse-- we go at it all the time. He was trying to tell me how to balance the board. It was balanced in preparation for Friday night admissions.

He is super controlling with his rooms and his patient. He will ask for help but if you touch anything, or arrange anything the way he doesn't do it, he freaks out. It's a big joke. I say: I am just here to look pretty, watch the tube, and muscle the roll. I am surprised he let me change the chest tube dressing that was on my side.

I don't complain, he does all the penis ball care on my man patient when he comes into my room to help out.

It ended up with a late night text from me: I am not mad at you.

His reply text: I know you try hard. You take good care of patients, and help out. I know what goes on. I wasn't born yesterday. You don't have to explain anything to me. I understand. I am a guy we are not that sensitive.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

He lied a bit. Some of us are "that sensitive".


Happy Saturday. No driving yourself nuts.


Drive someone else instead - it's more rewarding.

 

[sweepthefloor]

He lied a bit. Some of us are "that sensitive".


Happy Saturday. No driving yourself nuts.


Drive someone else instead - it's more rewarding.

I woke up early on my weekend off.
Who can I drive crazy? The GB?

 

[sweepthefloor]

And you are right, he is sensitive. It's why he raises his voice. It always blows over.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

I woke up early on my weekend off.
Who can I drive crazy? The GB?

<<<< me.


No, but you can try.


If he didn't care, he wouldn't say anything.


I woke up early, too, and now I have to dash off. Still, be good to you in your Ivy Draperies.

 

[sweepthefloor]

<<<< me.


No, but you can try.


If he didn't care, he wouldn't say anything.


I woke up early, too, and now I have to dash off. Still, be good to you in your Ivy Draperies.

I have to get this Ivy fixed at some point. It's growing into the attic under the roof. It might rip the roof off one day!

 

[sweepthefloor]

And the house is drafty and cold.

 

[Sir_Spongiosum]

You know what Admin did? They put a patient monitor in our lounge: eating lunch... is that my patient having v-tach???

That is truly devious.

 

[sweepthefloor]

That is truly devious.

It is devious! And since we lunch break by covering each other, when it is busy and you see your patient's blood pressure drop to 60/40 on the monitor-- you stop eating, go back to the unit, titrate up on the Neosynephrine, and then go back to the lounge.

By the next 15 minute recycle of the blood pressure the lunch break is over anyway. That's a clock out no lunch because it's not realistic depending on the acuity of the patients to have one nurse cover four.

And the hospital cell phones: Eating lunch? The secretary will still transfer the calls from: CT scan, IR, MRI.... "I am putting in for your patient."

Me: Yeah OK, give me time to get the RT, the portable vent, coming in the bed with IVs, nurse and monitor.

It's funny how the hospital world thinks it revolves around them. Yeah sure! Let me just wheel the patient down right now! It takes at least 15 minutes to untangle the lines, get rid of cables that are not needed for transport (temp cable, CVC pressures, cardiac output monitor, etc).

CT scan is the most understanding and flexible, but Interventional Radiology is no joke. When they want the patient they want the patient. Lunch break over. MRI will just put you back to the bottom of the list if you are not ready, when they are ready.

The Operating Room is the easiest, when they call for the patient they don't want any IVs dripping unless it's a pressor. As long as that checklist is complete, they are easy like soft butter. They manage their own anesthesia so they don't want our little bottles of diprivan or bags of versed. The patient goes up with next to nothing, RT bags the patient, no portable ventilator to struggle with in the elevator. And the patient goes straight into the room while we give a fast report to the anesthesiologist.

And the best part! Anesthesia brings the patient back to the room post operative-- there is no pick up. They come back to us give report, and let us know what phase of recovery, and if the anesthetic was reversed, which they usually don't reverse. I am sure it's easier for them too-- if the patient is not ready to extubate prior to OR, they have no need to 'recover' the patient, it's straight back to ICU and on to their next case.

It startled me at first. I asked: The patient hasn't spent time in PACU? I am not a PACU nurse. The response was: You are an ICU nurse, you can recover the patient.

I was like: Ok.

 

[sweepthefloor]

For Happy Respiratory Week 2013!

I made it a point to call the RT that always teases me at least 5 times each shift.
I prank called him with ridiculous requests:

Me: There's an order to put the respiratory rate up to 75 breaths per minute on bed 5.
*click*

Me: There's ABGs ordered on bed 2, every 15 minutes for the next 6 hours.
*click*

Me: Can you come increase the PEEP to 9.9? (no such thing) on bed 6.
*click*

Me: Why do keep hanging up on me?
He: Fuck you.

Me: Don't talk like that, it turns me on.
He: *click*

Me: Can you....
He: You are a real bitch.
*click*

Me: Look, I know you are busy but can you find a 'Coughalator' for bed 9?
He: How about I bring you a 'Cockalater'?
Me: That's awesome!

After that---I got the Resident to start calling him. It was great fun.

 

[Saint Peter]

I will purse my lips all week.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I will purse my lips all week.

You still remember that?
You are sweet to me Pete.

 

[Saint Peter]

I may be old, but I am not THAT old!

 

[sweepthefloor]

I know you are not old.

 

[sweepthefloor]

It's just Another Day.

except it's Halloween and I am going to work dressed as a vintage nurse, with dress, cap, white tights, and vampire teeth.

 

[LoudFastHarley]

It's just Another Day.

except it's Halloween and I am going to work dressed as a vintage nurse, with dress, cap, white tights, and vampire teeth.

Sounds very hot

 

[sweepthefloor]

Sounds very hot

It was awesome! I was like a starlet with the paparazzi interrupting my work all day to take photos. I might post a photo, but I don't want it re-posted, so I can delete it later.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Happy November.


Don't let the ivy into the attic. Top o' the walls is aplenty.


I'm off out-of-town to an annual seafood bash. It's gone on for years, but I have never attended. I hear there will be some antique cars, and there will be oysters, so it should be fine.


Cars younger than I am are not antique - I have decreed this to be so.

 

[Byron In Exile]

This thread rules.