Anonymous Secrets Thread

[Kudram123]

And We have our first result! A real gem I might add

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Female

I've used cucumbers and zucchinis to masturbate with. I wanted to try some varied sizes other than my toys. The cucumbers occasionally have little nubs on them which is quite nice, but must have a condom over it. I've even used them while on cam. Usually by the time I'm done the cucumber is so heated up internally that it is close to mush. Oh ya, that reminds me, I've used a banana a long time ago too. It didn't quite hold its shape very well once it warmed up, it became kind of soft underneath the peel.

And an electric toothbrush once when camping.

 

[Kudram123]

Male 41

This is maybe a bit more triggered by the other confession than the prompt.

In my 20's, exploring the openness of my sexuality and wondering if I was bi, I used to submit myself to guys online for pictures. Whatever they wanted. You can imagine what I was subjected to.

Odd penetration: all kinds of veggies or fruit (cukes, carrots, celery, bananas), a long tapered candle lit on the other end, bottle necks and the more vanilla fingers and toys.

What almost takes the cake is the guy who wanted me to get a melon or cantaloupe, cut a hole in it and fuck it. What?!! Is there a fetish for that kind of thing? I guess there must be.

 

[Kudram123]

And this makes 3!

Female 40's

Had a relationship where the vibe was Dom/sub... He had me get a cucumber, corn on the cob, and a carrot. I mistakenly left them in the fridge... Room temp would have been much better!! The cucumber was the best of the three... But didn't cum with any of them.

I used a curved plastic bottle in the shower.... That was actually quite nice.

My best though was probably after work one night... I was on the phone with a guy and he told me he'd get me off if I found something to fuck myself with and did it while fully exposing myself... I found a screwdriver and used the hande... I slid my panties off, sat on the counter behind my desk, spread my legs wide and played with my clit... I was so wet... When told me I rammed the screwdriver deep inside me, pushing up into my gspot... I came so hard and he left for the movies...

 

[Kudram123]

As I promised, I would reveal something myself too!

Having chatted with some ladies who are seriously into anal, I must admit I was talked into trying some for myself too.
I fear it is not for me, but I will not say I have not tried it proper!

With some lube, a screwdriver handle as mentioned above, a small plastic tube and fingers.


And while I am at it, I will also admit to owning a Fleshlight


PS: I am still open for more secrets! msg me and I shall post!

 

[funluvinaj]

As I promised, I would reveal something myself too!

Having chatted with some ladies who are seriously into anal, I must admit I was talked into trying some for myself too.
I fear it is not for me, but I will not say I have not tried it proper!

With some lube, a screwdriver handle as mentioned above, a small plastic tube and fingers.


And while I am at it, I will also admit to owning a Fleshlight


PS: I am still open for more secrets! msg me and I shall post!

From my own experience... I'd played anally with toys and it was fun but nothing is better for me than the feeling of his cock sliding deep into my ass.... Mmhmm!!

 

[Kudram123]

male

I have used a sofa to masturbate with, by kneeling in front of it, lining the gap between two cushions with a velour blanket and thrusting into the gap.

 

[TongueLust]

From my own experience... I'd played anally with toys and it was fun but nothing is better for me than the feeling of his cock sliding deep into my ass.... Mmhmm!!

That^ fuck yeah!

 

[Touch_72]

That^ fuck yeah!

You just gotta love her enthusiasm!

 

[Kudram123]

M - 38

One of my favorite things to get off with is a banana peel. Especially one that fits just right. I get the banana out without wrecking the peel, make a hole on the "closed" end so air can move out as I masturbate, and start sliding away.
This makes me cum really fast and hard.

 

[Amelies]

male

I have used a sofa to masturbate with, by kneeling in front of it, lining the gap between two cushions with a velour blanket and thrusting into the gap.

Huh, new ideas. I wouldn't have thought of that ^.^

 

[LoveToLurk]

As I promised, I would reveal something myself too!

Having chatted with some ladies who are seriously into anal, I must admit I was talked into trying some for myself too.
I fear it is not for me, but I will not say I have not tried it proper!

With some lube, a screwdriver handle as mentioned above, a small plastic tube and fingers.


And while I am at it, I will also admit to owning a Fleshlight


PS: I am still open for more secrets! msg me and I shall post!

Thanks for your sharing that. Way to try new things Kudram!

 

[Kudram123]

Has anyone else got any great new ideas for a themed secret request?

You can either post here or contact me directly


Of course "non themed" secrets are still and always will be welcome through normal canals! (PM or kudram123@gmail.com)

Your secret is secure! apart from posting it here anonymously, your secret shall not be shared in any way.

 

[Kudram123]

Okay People

I have an other idea for a themed confession!

Romantic and or sexual Bloopers!
What have you done or happened to you that would be perfect for a romantic comedy? Or could be placed under the bloopers extra's on a porn dvd? (they have those right?)

If I receive 5 confessions, I will share a confession of my own.

I would love to receive a PM, or email at kudram123@gmail.com
The normal rules apply, I will only copy-paste, and nobody will ever know who posted what. Any inquiries towards the matter will be ignored.
No judgement on what is shared, only a quick scan towards the lit posting rules.

Lets see what we can come up with

 

[Kudram123]

And the first one is in!

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F - Age unknown - Sexual Blooper

Was sitting on a guys face, he was eating me out so nice, when I accidentally released a huge, wet fart. Could not stop it

 

[Kudram123]

F-36 - Sexual blooper

I met up with my lover one time. He wanted to shave my pussy bald, so I supplied the cream and the razor. Before we met up, I made sure I had a new blade on the razor, so I changed the replacement blade out. So, we got together, started making out and what not. It's the time for the shave, that razor was DULL!! Would not shave a hair off me, he tried for a few minutes. So, instead of wasting precious time, we gave up and finished our time together.

I got home and was unpacking stuff. Took a closer look at the razor, now this was the kind of razor in which the blade could go on either way, it just clipped on the ends, no right or wrong way. I put the blade on upside down!! I never told him what an idiot I was!!

 

[Kudram123]

F - age unknown - sexual blooper

First time I ever got stoned, I got very turned on by only imagining a sex scene, so I got curious enough to try it with a friend that wanted same thing. We very both turned on, he went down on me. And I kind of went mad and started screaming yes yes and how much I like it. Kept squeezing his head between my legs and basically just abused his mouth. 10 minutes later I was fast asleep with him still between my legs. Felt pretty embarrassed about it the next day and he didn't talk to me again.

 

[Kudram123]

M... - Age unknown - Sexual blooper

I was hanging out at this local tavern and a girl in our unit and I were having a great time, dancing, drinking and singing karaoke. We both lived in the barracks, so I dove her home. On the way home, we would kiss at the red lights and she was playing with my cock.

We pulled into the parking lot at about 5 minutes before shift time. After we parked she started sucking me in the car. A few people walked by and later told me they were wondering why I was sitting in the car all by myself. I just smiled.

Well, we were having a great time ... and she was going down on me deeper and deeper, faster and faster. Then I heard it. That gurling sound. Only....

She threw up all over me.

 

[Thandi]

M... - Age unknown - Sexual blooper

I was hanging out at this local tavern and a girl in our unit and I were having a great time, dancing, drinking and singing karaoke. We both lived in the barracks, so I dove her home. On the way home, we would kiss at the red lights and she was playing with my cock.

We pulled into the parking lot at about 5 minutes before shift time. After we parked she started sucking me in the car. A few people walked by and later told me they were wondering why I was sitting in the car all by myself. I just smiled.

Well, we were having a great time ... and she was going down on me deeper and deeper, faster and faster. Then I heard it. That gurling sound. Only....

She threw up all over me.

OMG!!!!!

 

[Touch_72]

I'll share one out in the open. It's not really embarrassing and I think I've posted it elsewhere on here anyway, so no need for anonymity.

My wife and I do the "pull out" thing rather than bother with condoms. Often, things end with her on her back with legs bent up, pelvis rocked up with me kneeling (great angle for hitting her G). Sometimes that's one long orgasm for her, sometimes it just gives her multiples in quick succession.

This particular night, there we were in that position. I was pounding away, feeling her contractions around me and feeling my own orgasm rising. Right before it broke over me, I pulled out, pointed my cock virtually straight up and just held it still as the orgasm hit. It pulsed hard as the cum came.

She screamed and started cussing up a storm.

I opened my eyes and looked.

Somehow, despite being pointed pretty much straight up, I had shot with enough force for it to...

...hit her in the eye.

So, cock pointed up... her face a good 2 1/2 feet away, if not a little more... even if it didn't shoot straight out of me, it had to have arced a good several feet in the air to travel that distance. And to do that and coincidentally hit her in the eye, of all places?!!

I know cum burns eyes. I'd never do it intentionally. But, there I was kneeling on the bed sympathetic to her plight and reaching for something to help her, yet mouth open in amazement as I pictured the trajectory. It would've been funny if it weren't for the fact that that shit hurts!

 

[Thandi]

I'll share one out in the open. It's not really embarrassing and I think I've posted it elsewhere on here anyway, so no need for anonymity.

My wife and I do the "pull out" thing rather than bother with condoms. Often, things end with her on her back with legs bent up, pelvis rocked up with me kneeling (great angle for hitting her G). Sometimes that's one long orgasm for her, sometimes it just gives her multiples in quick succession.

This particular night, there we were in that position. I was pounding away, feeling her contractions around me and feeling my own orgasm rising. Right before it broke over me, I pulled out, pointed my cock virtually straight up and just held it still as the orgasm hit. It pulsed hard as the cum came.

She screamed and started cussing up a storm.

I opened my eyes and looked.

Somehow, despite being pointed pretty much straight up, I had shot with enough force for it to...

...hit her in the eye.

So, cock pointed up... her face a good 2 1/2 feet away, if not a little more... even if it didn't shoot straight out of me, it had to have arced a good several feet in the air to travel that distance. And to do that and coincidentally hit her in the eye, of all places?!!

I know cum burns eyes. I'd never do it intentionally. But, there I was kneeling on the bed sympathetic to her plight and reaching for something to help her, yet mouth open in amazement as I pictured the trajectory. It would've been funny if it weren't for the fact that that shit hurts!

LOL! Oh dear...your poor wife!!!

 

[Cycliste]

I'll share one out in the open. It's not really embarrassing and I think I've posted it elsewhere on here anyway, so no need for anonymity.

My wife and I do the "pull out" thing rather than bother with condoms. Often, things end with her on her back with legs bent up, pelvis rocked up with me kneeling (great angle for hitting her G). Sometimes that's one long orgasm for her, sometimes it just gives her multiples in quick succession.

This particular night, there we were in that position. I was pounding away, feeling her contractions around me and feeling my own orgasm rising. Right before it broke over me, I pulled out, pointed my cock virtually straight up and just held it still as the orgasm hit. It pulsed hard as the cum came.

She screamed and started cussing up a storm.

I opened my eyes and looked.

Somehow, despite being pointed pretty much straight up, I had shot with enough force for it to...

...hit her in the eye.

So, cock pointed up... her face a good 2 1/2 feet away, if not a little more... even if it didn't shoot straight out of me, it had to have arced a good several feet in the air to travel that distance. And to do that and coincidentally hit her in the eye, of all places?!!

I know cum burns eyes. I'd never do it intentionally. But, there I was kneeling on the bed sympathetic to her plight and reaching for something to help her, yet mouth open in amazement as I pictured the trajectory. It would've been funny if it weren't for the fact that that shit hurts!

Do you know why it hurts? All those sperm fighting to penetrate the eye which they think is the egg. True story. (OK, not really. It's the acid in the semen but the other is funnier.)

 

[MBFemale]

I'll share one out in the open. It's not really embarrassing and I think I've posted it elsewhere on here anyway, so no need for anonymity.

My wife and I do the "pull out" thing rather than bother with condoms. Often, things end with her on her back with legs bent up, pelvis rocked up with me kneeling (great angle for hitting her G). Sometimes that's one long orgasm for her, sometimes it just gives her multiples in quick succession.

This particular night, there we were in that position. I was pounding away, feeling her contractions around me and feeling my own orgasm rising. Right before it broke over me, I pulled out, pointed my cock virtually straight up and just held it still as the orgasm hit. It pulsed hard as the cum came.

She screamed and started cussing up a storm.

I opened my eyes and looked.

Somehow, despite being pointed pretty much straight up, I had shot with enough force for it to...

...hit her in the eye.

So, cock pointed up... her face a good 2 1/2 feet away, if not a little more... even if it didn't shoot straight out of me, it had to have arced a good several feet in the air to travel that distance. And to do that and coincidentally hit her in the eye, of all places?!!

I know cum burns eyes. I'd never do it intentionally. But, there I was kneeling on the bed sympathetic to her plight and reaching for something to help her, yet mouth open in amazement as I pictured the trajectory. It would've been funny if it weren't for the fact that that shit hurts!

**giggles**

 

[matt8387]

I would love to hit my wife n the eye with come

 

[Touch_72]

LOL! Oh dear...your poor wife!!!

I know. I feel really guilty even giggling at the thought, though after a few minutes, she did laugh. There was a sense of ridiculousness to it.

It just begs a joke like... what is it? A fucking Howitzer?

ICBM? No. ICBC... InterContinental Ballistic Cum.

Do you know why it hurts? All those sperm fighting to penetrate the eye which they think is the egg. True story. (OK, not really. It's the acid in the semen but the other is funnier.)

I believe it. The acid part, not the sperm penetration part... though that could present new theories on glaucoma.

I would love to hit my wife n the eye with come

Serious note: if you think that, I'd suggest you try it yourself, first. I'm not joking when I say it can sting like a bitch.

 

[matt8387]

More like be Able to not much of a squirter more of a dribble