The attraction of cyber?

[VanGogh66]

I have enjoyed cyber on occasion, like people have said, after I've already formed a connection with the person. But cybering via PM on Lit can be about the most unexciting thing ever. Especially when it takes the other person forever to reply and then you see later that they've been posting at the same time they're supposedly being virtually intimate with you.

Is that like having sex with the football game on the TV at the same time?

 

[JennyNo1]

Is that like having sex with the football game on the TV at the same time?

They were probably doing that too!!!!

 

[LadyVer]

I didn't read all the comments. Nothing beats the real thing with someone you know and trust. Finding someone to trust on Lit is a crap shoot with extremely high odds...

 

[VanGogh66]

getting back on topic:

Some people don't like doing it
Some people are not comfortable doing it
Some people are better at it

You just have to find someone you make a connection with and let your imagination take over.

 

[RickTango]

Ill weigh in ..
I think when there is an emotional connection it makes virtual (cyber or phone) a more real experience.
But that does not always easily occur. It takes time, trust and openness, IMHO

 

[NotHisLady]

Creating a fantasy is fun. If you are collaborating with someone who knows you well enough that your ideas mesh into one image it can be even more fun. (Sort of slip between the synapses so to speak.) After all, that is what 'virtual' (I like that word for it) really is, creating a fantasy with someone else rather than just by yourself.
Fantasies aren't real life. It could be that one attraction is that in a fantasy the things you'd never imagine saying yes to in life are things you can allow yourself to indulge in. When there is a second person helping to create that fantasy it's possible that there are things you might not even imagine that you will give in to with wild abandon.
Sometimes that's it and the fantasy is the end-game. Other times the fantasy is just training wheels for real life.

For what it's worth, even though no one has mentioned it here. I for one don't consider fantasies cheating whether they are concocted alone or with a collaborator. IMO it's possible to be a 'virtual' slut and still be a virtuous person.

I also think excruciating is as sexy a word as visceral. Just sayin'

 

[Thandi]

Creating a fantasy is fun. If you are collaborating with someone who knows you well enough that your ideas mesh into one image it can be even more fun. (Sort of slip between the synapses so to speak.) After all, that is what 'virtual' (I like that word for it) really is, creating a fantasy with someone else rather than just by yourself.
Fantasies aren't real life. It could be that one attraction is that in a fantasy the things you'd never imagine saying yes to in life are things you can allow yourself to indulge in. When there is a second person helping to create that fantasy it's possible that there are things you might not even imagine that you will give in to with wild abandon.
Sometimes that's it and the fantasy is the end-game. Other times the fantasy is just training wheels for real life.

For what it's worth, even though no one has mentioned it here. I for one don't consider fantasies cheating whether they are concocted alone or with a collaborator. IMO it's possible to be a 'virtual' slut and still be a virtuous person.

I also think excruciating is as sexy a word as visceral. Just sayin'

Well put!!!!

 

[RickTango]

Creating a fantasy is fun. ......
For what it's worth, even though no one has mentioned it here. I for one don't consider fantasies cheating whether they are concocted alone or with a collaborator. IMO it's possible to be a 'virtual' slut and still be a virtuous person.

I also think excruciating is as sexy a word as visceral. Just sayin'

Does that mean i really can be a non virtuous virtual slut in fantasy and a good guy in real life?

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Cyber is a dreadful experience. I'm thrilled to pieces that so many here do enjoy it, though.
I'll take a good read or an audio I can play over and over to a "real" virtual encounter any day of the week.

I've connected witha few people here and there, but it only creates a longing to actually be with them, so for me... Connection or not, cyber is Pandora's Box...

 

[michael2956]

I understand the reason so many people don't like it....the anonymous nature of it, the lack of emotional connection...but for me, those are the reasons I love it. I find it so damn hot (as long as the other person is literate) to spend a half hour edging, sharing fantasies that I'll probably never have a chance to realize. Honestly, I don't care if the other person is watching a football game, or is another 57 year old guy, who's pretending to be a 24 year old woman. For me, it's about the fantasy.

 

[NotHisLady]

Does that mean i really can be a non virtuous virtual slut in fantasy and a good guy in real life?

Given my strong suspicion that you ARE a good guy this made me smile.
I stick by my statement though. Yes, you can be a cad and a bounder so long as it's only a fantasy, cut a swath through the female population.
Real life is real actions not virtual ones and I don't see any of us burning in a virtual hell for our virtual sins. If anything the wildest 'virtual' acts with multiple virtual partners are less wicked than a single real life less-than-innocent encounter.

Keep in mind that I've been wrong before.

Cyber is a dreadful experience. I'm thrilled to pieces that so many here do enjoy it, though.
I'll take a good read or an audio I can play over and over to a "real" virtual encounter any day of the week.

I've connected witha few people here and there, but it only creates a longing to actually be with them, so for me... Connection or not, cyber is Pandora's Box...

I understand this point very well also.
Certainly in this life the best outlook I've found where other peoples pleasure is concerned has been "to each his own." There are things that confound me mightily. If you find the thing that pleases you and another who wants to share that pleasure then yes, by all means, go for it.
I suppose I'm an explainer by nature, that's how I wind up writing all of this.
Something to read over and over? Going back to those conversations that evolved naturally into erotic mindplay is one of my favorite things to do. The rush of those moments returns every time I read the words.
Sure there is a longing for something more but if we're honest isn't it wanting something more (either more than or more from what we have) that drives us to sample sweets from different candy jars? Why else are any of us even here?


Suddenly I'm picturing myself going around 'witnessing' for this! If I knock on your door are you all going to pretend not to be home?

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I understand this point very well also.
Certainly in this life the best outlook I've found where other peoples pleasure is concerned has been "to each his own." There are things that confound me mightily. If you find the thing that pleases you and another who wants to share that pleasure then yes, by all means, go for it.
I suppose I'm an explainer by nature, that's how I wind up writing all of this.
Something to read over and over? Going back to those conversations that evolved naturally into erotic mindplay is one of my favorite things to do. The rush of those moments returns every time I read the words.
Sure there is a longing for something more but if we're honest isn't it wanting something more (either more than or more from what we have) that drives us to sample sweets from different candy jars? Why else are any of us even here?


Suddenly I'm picturing myself going around 'witnessing' for this! If I knock on your door are you all going to pretend not to be home?

If I'm being honest, I only came here to write. I haven't published very much here, and really have no desire to publish anything else here, either.

Seriously, no joke.

One would like to think the people you meet here have real and true intentions beyond a virtual quickie. However, that is almost never the case. That's just a fact, and not a very surprising one at that

It's really no big deal. I'm am sincere in my happiness for people who enjoy "cyber" and "virtual" and "occasional". This is absolutely the place you should be if you want that. Those of us who don't, though, shouldn't be ostracized or made to feel inadequate because we decided not to.

We shouldn't be viewed as a "challenge" to win over to the sexy side, either. Nothing pisses me off more than messages feigned to "friend" you when really all you're trying to do is "make that connection".... LMAO. That said, I have a few people here that I will talk to NON SEXUALLY, I might add, and consider them real and true friends.

I decided a while back that I would draw my "virtual" line there and be done with it. It's stated pretty clearly in my profile, too, which is why I get a chuckle out of the knuckleheads who either CAN'T read or choose to IGNORE cut and dry, elementary level English.

I guess I could re-write it to say something like this:

"OOGA BOOGA.... Me no interested in sexy talk.
Ugh.. Ugh.. me wanna just be friendly.
HOOOOOOWWWWWWLLLLLLLL...... don't make-um me get big club.."

 

[Shared_Siobhan]

Yes, usually cyber is silly and a poor imitation of the real thing.

But sometimes it is so intense! It's amazing that chemistry can exist with somebody online who you've never met, never seen, and probably never will. I find it fascinating how human sexuality works in that way. And to be honest, in some ways, the anonymity is all the more powerful, because everything feeds off only your partner's words and your imagination. Because it is all in your mind it is like a mainline to your sexual self.

 

[sereneone4u]

Ill weigh in ..
I think when there is an emotional connection it makes virtual (cyber or phone) a more real experience.
But that does not always easily occur. It takes time, trust and openness, IMHO

Totally agree, it depends on the people involved.

Cyber is a dreadful experience. I'm thrilled to pieces that so many here do enjoy it, though.
I'll take a good read or an audio I can play over and over to a "real" virtual encounter any day of the week.

I've connected witha few people here and there, but it only creates a longing to actually be with them, so for me... Connection or not, cyber is Pandora's Box...

Hey, to each his or her own, you won't catch any flack from me.

I agree about the Pandora's Box...sometimes, someone extra special comes along and cyber is not enough and you move on to phone and that is just not enough. You grow to have an agonizing...excruciatingly agonizing need to be with them for real and it just eats away at you, day after day. Not that the cyber and phone are not exquisitely good but there comes this visceral need to be with them in real time in a very physical way.

That ache is so incredibly painful.

 

[RickTango]

Given my strong suspicion that you ARE a good guy this made me smile.
Are you normally suspicious of nice guys? I could bring out my virtual bad boy self but then you migh not smile

 

[InaNYMinute]

Different strokes for different folks.... Its good that people have a variety of interests.

 

[solitaryman]

......

 

[trojank]

Yes, usually cyber is silly and a poor imitation of the real thing.

But sometimes it is so intense! It's amazing that chemistry can exist with somebody online who you've never met, never seen, and probably never will. I find it fascinating how human sexuality works in that way. And to be honest, in some ways, the anonymity is all the more powerful, because everything feeds off only your partner's words and your imagination. Because it is all in your mind it is like a mainline to your sexual self.

Very very true ....its the ultimate fantasy, which you can conyrol from the safety of your own home

 

[mysteriousme82]

I think cyber and phone are like any other form of sex. If it's not done right, why bother?

For me, I get off hugely on a) what a woman's mind can come up with and b) how a person reacts to erotic thought. It's really hard to explain why ANYONE would have a fetish for something. It just presses those buttons that are amazing to press and rarely do. To be able to get a woman off with words is very hot and erotic to me. Cyrano de Bergerac knew how erotic words could be. He was the original cyber lover.

I also love, honestly, that both sides know it's just to get off with. I have great friendships with people I cyber with and it's this very fun hot thing we share. To me, I'm more amazed that other people aren't into it or don't understand it... especially here, where there's so many people here for the sole purpose of expressing their thoughts on things. I'm not sure how you can't take something you appreciate... like words... and not find them stimulating.

It's very confusing on my end.