Study finds "Fifty Shades" promotes "abuse" in "relationships"

I haven't read either, but... wasn't the series this was "based on" like, worse in the creepy abuse department?
 
Read & loved the stories - yes, it started out BDSM (mild, as far as Im concerned) & it turned into a love story. Anastasia found out & left, but came back - it was her choice. I wouldn't mind someone giving me that choice (thou I'm not sure I could go much more than the mild variety).
 
Is it American, because saying stupid stuff is a good way to get a career in America.

Or, maybe they meant the book is tantamount to abuse, to y'know have to read it.
 
Is it American, because saying stupid stuff is a good way to get a career in America.

Or, maybe they meant the book is tantamount to abuse, to y'know have to read it.

Or that if you really like the book you probably have poor judgment in other areas of your life.

They didn't really study controlling factors like IQ and gullibility.
 
I haven't read the book - like not even a page or an excerpt.

Is it really that bad? If so, what's bad about it - the writing in general? The way BDSM is portrayed? Just curious.
 
I haven't read the book - like not even a page or an excerpt.

Is it really that bad? If so, what's bad about it - the writing in general? The way BDSM is portrayed? Just curious.

I read it. As a reader it's meh. Only redeeming value is clever dialogue.

As research goes, the author has American characters that use British slang and have British interests and look suspiciously like they're written by a non-American author.

The BDSM is irresponsible and the BDSM aspect of the relationship is deemed "hot" (she uses the word a lot. a LOT.) but somehow so, so very wrong! *clutch pearls* and is explained away as a psychological disorder that can be cured by enough love, therapy and cookies.
 
I haven't read 50 Shades, but my wife did. She read the entire trilogy which surprised me considering her years of experience in real BDSM. She said the writing was rather sophomoric and repetitive. Her inner editor ran amok and according to her there really was minimal BDSM and it was rather poorly done. There was one part with a Wartenberg Wheel that did make her mouth go dry and she kicked her editor to the curb.

Dr. Amy Bonomi seems to have her own agenda. She has been involved in several studies about violence against women. I suppose if you start with your own preconceived ideas the questions may have a specific slant and the conclusions will support your own ideas. I have not read the study nor am I a researcher. I have read several other studies and only remember one where the researchers commented the results surprised them because the results did not match their prior beliefs.

Considering the majority of 50 Shades readers were female I wonder how they came to their conclusion. Were my vanilla wife/girl friend read 50 Shades, take a shower, and come to me in a sexy negligee, crawl over my knees and ask me to spank her and I do, would that increase the level of violence against women? I suppose if you are doing a study it may depend on your prejudices on how you you interpret the data.

I do understand there is way too much violence against women in the world, including the U.S . Much comes from domestic situations and from obsessed individuals. I believe both could be diagnosed as mental instability and the belief women are possessions of their their SOs and can and should be disciplined by their man. That is utter BS IMO.

I have been involved in BDSM for over 25 years and have never hit a woman in anger, not a single time. I will not play when I am angry with her. As a dominant I am responsible for for her safety and if I am angry I know I could act irresponsibly and could hurt her and I will not do that.
 
For fucks sake, women have been reading Romance novels for decades. And yes, they totally suck as far as role modeling real relationships go-- that's why they are stuck between lurid covers printed on cheap cardboard.
 
I use these for pattern making and was once nerve tested with one, I guess I just learned something from the book via this thread ;)
 
I have been involved in BDSM for over 25 years and have never hit a woman in anger, not a single time. I will not play when I am angry with her. As a dominant I am responsible for for her safety and if I am angry I know I could act irresponsibly and could hurt her and I will not do that.

for one - I don't recall a moment in the books where Christian hit out of anger...

also, as we all know everyone interprets reading, comments, pictures, etc. in their own way - i.e. The Bible.

and finally, can I sent my hubby to you for dominant training...lol
 
subwhore60 as I said I haven't read the book so I really can't comment it it or its contents. The point I was trying to make, perhaps poorly, is Dr. Amy Bonomi seems to believe any violence a against a woman for any reason is abuse. I have hit several different women, but only when she was a willing participant and had a very good idea what I was going to do to her. Never once have I hit a woman just because she made me angry. While I had hit women in the past and will certainly so in the future, I have never abused a woman. Every woman I have ever played with has had a safe word and know she was free to use it without fear of repercussions.


Some men are not cut out to dominate or control a woman. What ever primal or animistic needs he may have, has been socialized and civilized out of them. When you read these boards long enough you will find out you are not alone in your wants and needs nor in the fact you are unable to convince your SO to give you what you need.



I hope I am wrong in your case and you are able to convince him to listen to you.


Good luck.

Mike
 
Some men are not cut out to dominate or control a woman. What ever primal or animistic needs he may have, has been socialized and civilized out of them. When you read these boards long enough you will find out you are not alone in your wants and needs nor in the fact you are unable to convince your SO to give you what you need.

I hope I am wrong in your case and you are able to convince him to listen to you.

Hub isn't cut out to be dominate - but yet he isn't submissive either - he's a nice guy. Thanks anyhow! And yes, you are correct there are many of us that deal with nearly the same things!
 
I dunno. The book originally started out as Twilight erotic fanfiction, and when her blog got popular she changed the naimes from "Edward" to "Christian" and "Bella" to uh whatever her name was, I couldn't get past like the first chapter and a half. Edward does hit a lot of red flags for abusive behavior; isolates Bella from family, creepy stalker behavior, etc and so it wouldn't surprise me if Christian did similar. It's problematic because those behaviors as illustated in Twilight/50 Shades become normalized, wrongly so. I think that's what Dr Bonomi/Cris Sullivan is really trying to say.
 
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