THE FEMALE FICTION: Modern Mythology.

[Emerson40]

Same as most the women who have had their lives touched by this ol' fella, I suspect we all are in for a bit of a letdown.


Too bad, really. I was so looking forward to finding out what the Female Fiction Myth was, and if my enlightenment required me to pull out the whip and chair to tame the mighty pussy.
I've no desire to play Roy Horn to Mrs. E's Montecore...


*adds "lion and tiger tamer" to this guy's ever-growing list of imagined experiences and make-believe qualifications*

 

[AbsintheFather]

mmhmm.. I make my own wet. It's you men who need a bit of lotion.

Go ahead, just rub it in . . . .

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I would have replied sooner..

but I had to wash my hands...

 

[subdued_passion]

shhhh.....

Just in case the 'Professor' in question is quietly lurking waiting for a receptive group of pupils. Got to make the right noises to lure him out.

After doing a brief look around, I think we could get a pretty good story out of a few of the other "experts" on here though.
I say we send LSailer out to do some recruiting.

I don't know... I'm thinking performance anxiety must play a huge role for a person that old. I doubt any sounds we make would get him up to the task.

I say lets just paint this thread pink and post fluffy tutus and pussies and neutered poodles.


- I'm suddenly hankering for some steamed meat balls. Mmmmmm

 

[IhateClowns]

So what's the fucking deal? This dick is tired of being whipped by the vadge. When does the seminar begin. I grabbed some coffee and a stale donut. I am sitting up front in the center anxious and ready to learn. Quit fucking around.

 

[C5MiGuy]

Dude got his viagra and centrum mixed up. Probably sitting at home trying to jerk his shriveled wang to midget porn without success.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dude got his viagra and centrum mixed up. Probably sitting at home trying to jerk his shriveled wang to midget porn without success.

Midget porn is pretty hot though. Midget porn might be the only thing that defeats a medically induced penis coma.

 

[C5MiGuy]

Midget porn is pretty hot though. Midget porn might be the only thing that defeats a medically induced penis coma.

I watch it quite often so I can let my feelings of inadequacy go. I feel like a fucking centaur when it's on. And I'm not talking the Patrick Swayze bad tattoo centaur.

 

[IhateClowns]

I watch it quite often so I can let my feelings of inadequacy go. I feel like a fucking centaur when it's on. And I'm not talking the Patrick Swayze bad tattoo centaur.

I like it because I love sausage fingers wrapped around a guys sausage.

 

[C5MiGuy]

I like it because I love sausage fingers wrapped around a guys sausage.

The problem with that is at the store breakfast sausages come in a 10 pack, so when I see 6 of them at once, something just doesn't look right.

 

[Emerson40]

Midget porn is pretty hot though. Midget porn might be the only thing that defeats a medically induced penis coma.

I agree, midget porn can vie with viagra any day, and is available without prescription.

 

[subdued_passion]

Did somebody mention midgets?

 

[IhateClowns]

The problem with that is at the store breakfast sausages come in a 10 pack, so when I see 6 of them at once, something just doesn't look right.

Eat some eggs while watching. You won't know whether to cum or burp.

 

[IhateClowns]

I agree, midget porn can vie with viagra any day, and is available without prescription.

True. Midget porn is just so hot. Especially is she is flexible and can actually bend her knees.

 

[subdued_passion]

*adds "lion and tiger tamer" to this guy's ever-growing list of imagined experiences and make-believe qualifications*

Please don't encourage the delusions... Next thing we know he'll be citing you when asked for references.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Maybe we should not be so mean to him, ya never know his grand-daughters might have crimped his oxygen tube, he may be flopping around like a fish out of water.....

 

[C5MiGuy]

Eat some eggs while watching. You won't know whether to cum or burp.

I think if scrambled I'd be burping. But with a couple sunny side ups, those eggs would be looking like a set of some albino national geographic babe's rack in a 6 way titty bang, and at that point I'll have trouble distinguishing the whites of the eggs from my white that invades an egg.

 

[subdued_passion]

Maybe we should not be so mean to him, ya never know his grand-daughters might have crimped his oxygen tube, he may be flopping around like a fish out of water.....

You know when I look closely I do see a resemblance.

Is this a confession?

(You can tell me, I'm good at keeping secrets)

 

[IhateClowns]

I think if scrambled I'd be burping. But with a couple sunny side ups, those eggs would be looking like a set of some albino national geographic babe's rack in a 6 way titty bang, and at that point I'll have trouble distinguishing the whites of the eggs from my white that invades an egg.

Sometimes I channel Betty White riding bareback on the donkey from Shrek to take me over the edge. Really whatever it takes you gotta do it.

 

[C5MiGuy]

Sometimes I channel Betty White riding bareback on the donkey from Shrek to take me over the edge. Really whatever it takes you gotta do it.

It was always the Rue McClanahan-Bea Arthur three way that did it for me.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

You know when I look closely I do see a resemblance.

Is this a confession?

(You can tell me, I'm good at keeping secrets)

If he was my Papa I would have cut his oxygen off many years ago...

By the way about three months ago I met a great optometrist..... would be glad to give you his number to get those eyes checked....

 

[subdued_passion]

If he was my Papa

Is this your way of saying that you're older than I guessed?

By the way about three months ago I met a great optometrist..... would be glad to give you his number

Is he young, is he hot, is his practice doing well?

 

[C5MiGuy]

Is this your way of saying that you're older than I guessed?



Is he young, is he hot, is his practice doing well?

Evidently, not hot enough or well enough.

 

[IhateClowns]

It was always the Rue McClanahan-Bea Arthur three way that did it for me.

I heard Bea Arthur has, I mean had (R.I.P.) a huge cock. The fact that her voice was deeper than James Earl Jones and her Adams Apple made mine look like an inny is, I mean was (R.I.P.) a dead give a way.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Is he young, is he hot, is his practice doing well?

Yes he is hot, I am not sure about his practice I met him at a club, he can dance.....I believe he is in his mid 30's a lil old for me......maybe just right for you....