Born in the wrong era

[WIJeepman]

I was raised to say thank you, please and yes. I'm a guy and I can't stand going out to the grocery store and seeing a woman who looks like she fell out of bed crawled across the floor, found a pair of nasty pj pants and dirty t shirt avoided the mirror and the bathroom and headed out the door. I also get sick of seeing people wearing flip flops everywhere...those are shower and or beach shoes.

On the flip side I rode my motorcycle to the east side of the city and it was nice to see women in dresses and heels...having put themselves together before leaving the house.

 

[goodnplenty2011]

There is something to putting on a three piece suit, i make sure my pocket scarf is pressed, shoes shined, and watch polished. Its tough to find an affordable tailor these days, and off the rack suits even tailored doesn't ever quit fit the same. If I put that much attention into looking my best I hope she would too.

 

[HutchsPet]

Most of my first BDSM fantasies involved being in the Victorian era and getting kidnapped, usually by a pirate. Sometimes it was steam punk, but anyways, the thought of being roughly grabbed by a man and having the bust of the dress ripped open, maybe he grabs the corset strings pulling me in closer...

Please excuse me so I can go masturbate now...

 

[Oubliette123]

I am a stickler for manners, we all eat round the table every night, the kids don't leave the table until we have all finished-god help them if they talk with their mouth full etc etc. Please, thank you etc etc. Personally I do lean towards a woman in the home (although I work from home) and the man out to work-I know some people would be horrified by this way of life.

Personal bearing wise, I guess I could be labelled as an old hippy lol. I hate dressing stuffily (only like to feel restricted in the bedroom!).

I don't think anyone alive today has been born in the wrong time, everyone is so different and life is full of adversities. Some may prefer the era of another time, and lean towards living that way. Such a spectrum in this world, its a good thing

 

[Netzach]

I eat loudly convivially and I encourage my lover to take things off my plate and vice-versa. I show up underdressed to nice places in my close proximity.

And I *tip*. I tip if it means I'm going to be eating ramen the rest of the damn week. I'd never ordinarily brag about this as manners, but I've met a lot of people recently who seem to think tipping is the thing you do outside the norm, not obligatory to maintain having a decent human being card not revoked.

I have ONLY shorted or failed to do so twice in my life, intentionally. It takes a really really horrible series of mistakes for me to even *consider* not tipping.

I also ask servers for opinions on food, treat them as people who actually know things, not like food bearing robots.

The rudeness I've seen among people with "manners" when it comes to restaurants is appalling at the end of meals and it's time to put your money where your salad fork is.

 

[rosco rathbone]

When looked at with the long view, PJ bottoms are hardly stranger costume than a mashup of Victorian and 80s.

 

[Oubliette123]

I also ask servers for opinions on food, treat them as people who actually know things, not like food bearing robots.

Agreed.

The gap between impersonal advertising, expectation and general conduct in the public sector is to blame imo. People are brainwashed into thinking they have a absolute right to a product/service no matter what. When in fact its a privilege.

We should be thankful for the things we have to hand in this day and age. Treat others as we wish to be treated ourselves.

 

[Netzach]

When looked at with the long view, PJ bottoms are hardly stranger costume than a mashup of Victorian and 80s.

This.

The only times I've ever felt all misty and "I wish people still..." about clothing is when I travel - I just find getting all half-naked when on the road plain old *weird*.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I was raised to say thank you, please and yes. I'm a guy and I can't stand going out to the grocery store and seeing a woman who looks like she fell out of bed crawled across the floor, found a pair of nasty pj pants and dirty t shirt avoided the mirror and the bathroom and headed out the door. I also get sick of seeing people wearing flip flops everywhere...those are shower and or beach shoes.

On the flip side I rode my motorcycle to the east side of the city and it was nice to see women in dresses and heels...having put themselves together before leaving the house.

How do *you* dress?

 

[the captians wench]

Most of my first BDSM fantasies involved being in the Victorian era and getting kidnapped, usually by a pirate. Sometimes it was steam punk, but anyways, the thought of being roughly grabbed by a man and having the bust of the dress ripped open, maybe he grabs the corset strings pulling me in closer...

Please excuse me so I can go masturbate now...

I used to dream of having my bodices and/or corsets cut off of me...then I started making them.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I used to dream of having my bodices and/or corsets cut off of me...then I started making them.

Yeah. that kind of behavior is for rich people who can just go buy another one.

 

[intothewoods]

I eat loudly convivially and I encourage my lover to take things off my plate and vice-versa. I show up underdressed to nice places in my close proximity.

And I *tip*. I tip if it means I'm going to be eating ramen the rest of the damn week. I'd never ordinarily brag about this as manners, but I've met a lot of people recently who seem to think tipping is the thing you do outside the norm, not obligatory to maintain having a decent human being card not revoked.

I have ONLY shorted or failed to do so twice in my life, intentionally. It takes a really really horrible series of mistakes for me to even *consider* not tipping.

I also ask servers for opinions on food, treat them as people who actually know things, not like food bearing robots.

The rudeness I've seen among people with "manners" when it comes to restaurants is appalling at the end of meals and it's time to put your money where your salad fork is.

If I learn you are a bad tipper, I really can't look at you the same way again. It's just such shitty behavior.

 

[Netzach]

If I learn you are a bad tipper, I really can't look at you the same way again. It's just such shitty behavior.

Seriously. The only excuse is if you're an elderly person in the middle of nowhere and you aren't cooking for yourself ever. Other than that, I can't think of another kind of "manners" that throws me into a tizzy. Nothing else fazes me. Chew with your mouth open? Whatevs. Eat things with your hands? Half the world does. Wear sweats and I just biked here helmet hair to your 25 buck a plate date? Go you. I don't care.

Act like tips are charitable largesse and you are completely outside my sphere of OK.

 

[knot_sweet]

Seriously. The only excuse is if you're an elderly person in the middle of nowhere and you aren't cooking for yourself ever. Other than that, I can't think of another kind of "manners" that throws me into a tizzy. Nothing else fazes me. Chew with your mouth open? Whatevs. Eat things with your hands? Half the world does. Wear sweats and I just biked here helmet hair to your 25 buck a plate date? Go you. I don't care.

Act like tips are charitable largesse and you are completely outside my sphere of OK.

I understand that in different countries tips are a survival necessity for people in the hospitality industry because minimum wage is so shitty.

Where the issue comes in for me is that some young people where I live have been over exposed to USA cultural norms and now expect to be tipped. And act like you're a social outcast if you don't. And when people from countries that tip come here and find out we don't, then make disparaging comments about how 'not nice' we are...that's not ok.

The lowest minimum wage in our country is $6.03 for an under 16 year old. A full time adult employee gets $16.37 an hour, not including penalty rates. A casual gets $20.30 and still gets penalty rates for overtime (although no holiday or sick pay).

And minimum wage is the exception here, not the norm. I know three checkout chicks, two child care workers and a fast food employee, none of whom are on minimum wage.

When at home, I will tip for great service. If the waiter or hotel maid or taxi driver or barrista has been really good at their job I will most certainly financially reward that, and generously. Otherwise...meh.

The other issue is when I travel to countries where tipping is the norm, but other first time travellers are unaware of this and then get treated like social pariahs because it just isn't something they know about.

And my biggest gripe is the way people in the food service industry behave if you complain about something. If I ask for no onions on my burger then get onions, I reserve the right to send it back without fear of someone spitting in my food. And that goes for people who work in tipping countries too. If you can't do your job right, you don't get to act all inconvenienced when I would like what I asked for. I'm polite and nice about it, I'm even slightly apologetic...I don't deserve to have disgusting things done to my food just because you think you're above doing what you're paid to do. And if I'm in a tipping country, I'm expected to still tip for that? Hell no.

 

[Loverskitten]

When looked at with the long view, PJ bottoms are hardly stranger costume than a mashup of Victorian and 80s.

Victorian and 80's have quite similar styles. Puff sleeves, leg-o-mutton sleeves, cinched waist, peplums, etc. I have some 80's jackets, that unless you look at the inside, you'd think it was the top half of a victorian walking suit. I even have an 80's velvet jacket with a bustle ruffle. The best part about them is they are sturdier than my antique ones and I'm not afraid to throw them over a corset and jeans for everyday wear. Hats are similar. Some 80's cocktail hats, copy the style of victorian tilts. Lace-up granny boots were also in style in the 80's.

 

[Netzach]

I understand that in different countries tips are a survival necessity for people in the hospitality industry because minimum wage is so shitty.

Where the issue comes in for me is that some young people where I live have been over exposed to USA cultural norms and now expect to be tipped. And act like you're a social outcast if you don't. And when people from countries that tip come here and find out we don't, then make disparaging comments about how 'not nice' we are...that's not ok.

The lowest minimum wage in our country is $6.03 for an under 16 year old. A full time adult employee gets $16.37 an hour, not including penalty rates. A casual gets $20.30 and still gets penalty rates for overtime (although no holiday or sick pay).

And minimum wage is the exception here, not the norm. I know three checkout chicks, two child care workers and a fast food employee, none of whom are on minimum wage.

When at home, I will tip for great service. If the waiter or hotel maid or taxi driver or barrista has been really good at their job I will most certainly financially reward that, and generously. Otherwise...meh.

The other issue is when I travel to countries where tipping is the norm, but other first time travellers are unaware of this and then get treated like social pariahs because it just isn't something they know about.

And my biggest gripe is the way people in the food service industry behave if you complain about something. If I ask for no onions on my burger then get onions, I reserve the right to send it back without fear of someone spitting in my food. And that goes for people who work in tipping countries too. If you can't do your job right, you don't get to act all inconvenienced when I would like what I asked for. I'm polite and nice about it, I'm even slightly apologetic...I don't deserve to have disgusting things done to my food just because you think you're above doing what you're paid to do. And if I'm in a tipping country, I'm expected to still tip for that? Hell no.

My POV is US centric, and completely rooted in the union busted, shit on and sub min-wage server norm.

When in France, when in Rome, adjusted accordingly. I don't tip or nominally tip in France, eg. I didn't bring that up because I don't get to travel as much as I'd like.

Yeah, if I took that opinion with me to Europe, I'd be a douche, like someone treating noodle-slurping Pho eaters like they're doing something wrong.

Here, at least, the rudeness is almost always on the customer side of the equation. I've been crazy customization lady, and I've never had anyone be rude about it, if I was polite about it and also willing to keep things simple if it's busy and go with something close to my needs and easy (buger with no bun rather than asking "is there wheat " in every single dish for christ's sake)

Anyway, what my original point was, as Stella said, that you can be well dressed and completely polished and engage in some incredibly crap behavior.

 

[Netzach]

The other issue is when I travel to countries where tipping is the norm, but other first time travellers are unaware of this and then get treated like social pariahs because it just isn't something they know about.

If you're a pleasure traveler wealthy enough for a basic guidebook, you can learn that, just like "hello" and "thank you" are just good gestures. Everything I read geared toward Europe explains tipping perfectly.

 

[SimoneCollins]

I agree that sweats and pajama bottoms should never see the light of day. It doesn't take that much time, effort, or cash to dress in a manner that shows you haven't given up on life.

 

[Keroin]

I agree that sweats and pajama bottoms should never see the light of day. It doesn't take that much time, effort, or cash to dress in a manner that shows you haven't given up on life.

What I love about sentiments like this, is the idea that choosing to dress comfortably = not caring.

I've lived in a lot of wilderness/fishing/middle of nowhere towns, where the population consists of people who work very hard and who don't give a flying fuck about what anyone thinks of their apparel. These people are do-ers and I love them for it. They may be wearing their *gasp* sweat pants in public, but they'll be the first to help you get your car unstuck from the mud or any number of "dirty" tasks that might ruin your precious nice clothes.

 

[Loverskitten]

Ha, I used to work in an adult related business, and it never failed that the guys who came in wearing sweat pants were the ones caught masturbating and asked to leave.
"Confucius say, man with hole in pocket not feel crazy, feel nuts"

 

[devinity7]

I think the problem with the era we live in, isn't that people like to dress down. There is nothing wrong with that. The problem lies in knowing when they need to dress more appropriately. My mother always told me to wear a dress or nice slacks when going on job interviews. Showing up in ripped jeans, sweats or looking like you just rolled out of bed, isn't appropriate, yet I see it all the time.

I know we all laugh at "Wal_Mart" people pics, but those people have some serious issues as to how to dress in public. When you dress respectfully, you get respect. And I'm not saying that dressing down is disrespectful, but you're thong, boxers or ass hanging out of your pants....it AIN'T right!

 

[SimoneCollins]

I think the problem with the era we live in, isn't that people like to dress down. There is nothing wrong with that. The problem lies in knowing when they need to dress more appropriately. My mother always told me to wear a dress or nice slacks when going on job interviews. Showing up in ripped jeans, sweats or looking like you just rolled out of bed, isn't appropriate, yet I see it all the time.

I know we all laugh at "Wal_Mart" people pics, but those people have some serious issues as to how to dress in public. When you dress respectfully, you get respect. And I'm not saying that dressing down is disrespectful, but you're thong, boxers or ass hanging out of your pants....it AIN'T right!

Well spoken. That's what I meant! Pardon my earlier sweeping generalization.

 

[KoPilot]

The problem is that I have no idea what "dress nice" means unless it's someone twice my age with thrice my income trying to shame me into looking aesthetically pleasing to them otherwise, god forbid, their opinion of me will drop.

What ever will I do if someone looks at me and thinks I'm a slob instead of a full-time employee of a cutting-edge game developer, part time self-published cartoonist, illustrator, book and printmaker, writer and blogger, media critic, techie, cook, skin diver, bodyboarder, and a jillion other things? Pass them up on the street, I guess, and snicker at their side-eye. I've got wayy more important things to do than waste my money on some dumb shit clothes I don't even like so I can make a stranger look at me with slightly less disdain. I wasn't put on this earth to be easy on the eyes.

I figure if a person is offended by my presence if I don't come wrapped up in a bow, then they're the ones missing out on knowing a kickass person. Then again, they probably weren't interested in getting to know me as a person from the get-go.

 

[devinity7]

The problem is that I have no idea what "dress nice" means unless it's someone twice my age with thrice my income trying to shame me into looking aesthetically pleasing to them otherwise, god forbid, their opinion of me will drop.

What ever will I do if someone looks at me and thinks I'm a slob instead of a full-time employee of a cutting-edge game developer, part time self-published cartoonist, illustrator, book and printmaker, writer and blogger, media critic, techie, cook, skin diver, bodyboarder, and a jillion other things? Pass them up on the street, I guess, and snicker at their side-eye. I've got wayy more important things to do than waste my money on some dumb shit clothes I don't even like so I can make a stranger look at me with slightly less disdain. I wasn't put here on this earth to make you comfortable.

I figure if a person is offended by my presence if I don't come wrapped up in a bow, then they're the ones missing out on knowing a kickass person.

You might be right, but do you think there is a limit as to what's acceptable or to each their own? And hell, even in the 50's, 60's and or any era, there were those that looked down on others and how they chose to express themselves. I don't care how someone walks down the street, but I do care how someone comes to my place of business, taking MY time and wanting something from me and not caring that they are a complete mess.

Of course we all joke about plumber's crack, but do we really want someone coming into our homes, with their pants hanging around their knees, shirt un-tucked and hair that looks like it hasn't been combed in weeks?

 

[KoPilot]

You might be right, but do you think there is a limit as to what's acceptable or to each their own? And hell, even in the 50's, 60's and or any era, there were those that looked down on others and how they chose to express themselves. I don't care how someone walks down the street, but I do care how someone comes to my place of business, taking MY time and wanting something from me and not caring that they are a complete mess.

Of course we all joke about plumber's crack, but do we really want someone coming into our homes, with their pants hanging around their knees, shirt un-tucked and hair that looks like it hasn't been combed in weeks?

I would take this seriously as a life philosophy if just one person I've seen spout it could explain, in clear detail, what is "nice" and what is "sloppy".

Why does a tailored suit "say" better things about the wearer than an untailored suit other than that its owner had the money and the time to take it to a tailor to have it fitted? To me, it means just that. How does this abstract symbology exist? It's like looking for omens in the natural world. Why in the fuck is three crows good and two crows bad? Fuck off, you make no sense.