Born in the wrong era

[Loverskitten]

I love dressing up. I used to dress all 40's-50's with the hair to match. Now, I'm a mash-up of everything from Victorian/Edwardian to 80's.
But I do wish everyone dressed up more. No sweats or *shudder* ghastly printed PJ bottoms in public.

Recently, a private club I visit (far too rarely) tightened it's dress code. Yay! Maybe the tides are turning.

On a related note....

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/5-things-women-should-start-doing-again/

And for the men...
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/6-things-men-should-start-doing-again/

 

[Keroin]

But I do wish everyone dressed up more. No sweats or *shudder* ghastly printed PJ bottoms in public.

Your heaven sounds like my hell. I loathe dressing up. Half the reason I like living in small, rural towns is that I don't have to live up to anyone else's standards for appearance.

 

[Loverskitten]

Your heaven sounds like my hell. I loathe dressing up. Half the reason I like living in small, rural towns is that I don't have to live up to anyone else's standards for appearance.

The theory behind the strict dress code at the club, is that people act more properly when they are dressed properly. It's true. Sadly, manners have gone away with the suits, ties, and garter belts.
But I don't live in a small town.

 

[Greenwavelawyer]

The theory behind the strict dress code at the club, is that people act more properly when they are dressed properly. It's true. Sadly, manners have gone away with the suits, ties, and garter belts.
But I don't live in a small town.

The disappearance of manners and civility is tied to the rise of lack of personal responsibility and a general "I'll do what I want to attitude."
The demise of suits and ties is also linked to a general lack of professionalism in many professions...I hate using the same word twice in a sentence.
If only we could turn back the clock

 

[Keroin]

The theory behind the strict dress code at the club, is that people act more properly when they are dressed properly. It's true. Sadly, manners have gone away with the suits, ties, and garter belts.
But I don't live in a small town.

Yeah, there's no problem with a lack of manners where I live. People are very friendly and considerate, even in gumboots and sweat pants.

 

[Netzach]

I'm with Keroin on this one. I value my time and money to the point where I'll dress if it contributes to my bottom line or it's mandated by the situation. I prefer going out to spicy dives than white tablecloth rip-offs so it works fine.

A lot of been-there-done-that when it comes to looking hot.

And yes, I wear sweats. A lot. Not the dreaded elastic on the bottoms, but seriously, for where I go nobody needs to give a shit.

Don't get me wrong, love the pinup looks and whatever, but I'd rather take an hour extra a day to be healthy than try to force my hair into victory rolls (not happening.)

 

[naughtabell]

Initially the title of this thread caught my eye.

I've been told several times that I'm an old soul and was born in the wrong era.

I love the styles and fashions of the past - particularly the 40s/50s.

However, I have to agree with some of the other posters...I just don't have the time or the patience to dress up. I do have some standards (I'm not going to Wal-Mart in pj's) but I'm not going to get dressed up just to go to Wally World either.

If the event warrants it - I dress up.

On another note I'm all for day drinking without abandon.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm with Keroin and Netz. If somebody doesn't like the way I dress...well, I suppose they don't have to look at me, do they?

 

[Loverskitten]

Don't get me wrong, love the pinup looks and whatever, but I'd rather take an hour extra a day to be healthy than try to force my hair into victory rolls (not happening.)

Ha, I was just going to try victory rolls for the first time. Never done them before but have a possible shoot coming up.
I have managed to get many vintage hairstyles down and can do my hair very quickly, like 15 mins. For nice waves or curls, 10 for a classy high bun.

 

[Wide_eyed_Indulgence]

I am with Loverskitten on this -- I love to dress well and do from the inside out. Start with nice lingerie (even under activewear as some call "sweats"), fresh, lovely hair, some understated makeup to accentuate the positive, and I feel wonderful, desireable, and powerful. Although I have good manners regardless of what I might wear.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The theory behind the strict dress code at the club, is that people act more properly when they are dressed properly. It's true. Sadly, manners have gone away with the suits, ties, and garter belts.
But I don't live in a small town.

Bullshit, my darling.

I have seen women ignore their own crying chlldren while wearing Versace. I've seen them get puking drunk, heard them scream out the secrets that belong to someone else, and destroy themselves in two minutes flat-- but they were dressed immaculately.

I have fought off men in bespoke suits, who were intent on tapping my fine ass. People lie, cheat, steal, fuck people they shouldn't, indulge in excesses of all kinds, while properly dressed. Look at the GOP if you don't believe me.

Dressing nice is a nice thing to do for its own sake, but it doesn't turn a jackass into a thoroughbred.

 

[Loverskitten]

Bullshit, my darling.

I have seen women ignore their own crying chlldren while wearing Versace. I've seen them get puking drunk, heard them scream out the secrets that belong to someone else, and destroy themselves in two minutes flat-- but they were dressed immaculately.

I have fought off men in bespoke suits, who were intent on tapping my fine ass. People lie, cheat, steal, fuck people they shouldn't, indulge in excesses of all kinds, while properly dressed. Look at the GOP if you don't believe me.

Dressing nice is a nice thing to do for its own sake, but it doesn't turn a jackass into a thoroughbred.

I never said it's 100% I also never said EVERYONE behaves or in the past behaved perfectly proper when well dressed. But this club has it's standards. I know I behave better. I drink my sipping cocktail (manhattan) not my guzzling cocktail and the majority of people behave better. I've seen the difference first hand.
I was brought up in a house where tank tops on men/boys weren't allowed. It still shocks me to see guys in tank tops at fine dining restaurants. Ewww.
Maybe I'm uptight? Maybe I'm old fashioned? Maybe I just like to see people in suits, ties, hats, and dresses? Maybe I was born in the wrong era

 

[graceanne]

My aunt (who is only a year older than me, so I don't really consider her my aunt) and I were having a similar conversation about clothes recently. I'm not big on dressing up either, mostly cause I HATE dress shoes, but this 'wearing pajamas everywhere' thing is just tacky. Not to mention how often people are massively unprofessionally dressed in professional situations. For instance, where I make my car payment there's this nice girl, but she's always dressed up like she's going to a party - tons of makeup, short skirts, etc. She's so sweet, so I just gotta wonder if she knows that there's an in between, between party gear and home gear.

My pet peeve, with clothes, is women who don't bother putting on a bra or brushing their hair before leaving the house. I spent more time than I care to measure in pickup lines, getting kids, and it really annoys me because it doesn't take more than a couple of minutes to put on a bra and put your hair in a pony tail.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I don't often wear a bra because I hate the feeling of constriction around my ribs.

Which is a problem when I'm dragging because a bra is NOTHING compared to a binder.

 

[KoPilot]

Yeah... I really don't give a shit about people who might look at me and think I can't tell my ass from my wallet. Those are not people I want for bosses or for friends. And if you're a stranger, what the hell do I owe you anyways? I lived in NYC, I am so over that suit-and-tie holier-than-thou. A pair of pumps doesn't mean jack shit about your quality as a person in regards to anything but how much money you have. And I don't play the just-world fallacy game. I'd take a homeless man making nice conversation over someone that sips their martini with their pinky out any day.

Not to mention that "dressing nice" doesn't often leave room for other gender expressions. You wouldn't believe how many people think nonbinary presentations are tacky and unprofessional.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Maybe good manners look more gooder when the person having them is dressed up?

If I open a door for you in jeans and a cut-off teeshirt, it's just some raggedy ass butch holding the door. If I'm wearing a tux I'm a high-status butch. Which makes your own high status more apparent when I open the door for you.

It's more gratifying to be part of the company when people look elite and you do too. I enjoy that myself at any sort of costume event, which is how I see your dress-up club.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Good manners are such an odd form of role play, aren't they?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Good manners are such an odd form of role play, aren't they?

I learned them as role play-- mid-seventies, hanging out with a notable cabaret/music group. One member was raised with them, the heavy heavy European style of manners. We would cook these amazing meals and then learn how to eat them properly. You're supposed to keep your back straight when you eat your soup-- "Animals bring their mouths to their food, people bring the food to their mouths."

I never got the hang of that one...

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I learned them as role play-- mid-seventies, hanging out with a notable cabaret/music group. One member was raised with them, the heavy heavy European style of manners. We would cook these amazing meals and then learn how to eat them properly. You're supposed to keep your back straight when you eat your soup-- "Animals bring their mouths to their food, people bring the food to their mouths."

I never got the hang of that one...

That's ok, doesn't really seem souper important anyways. *shrug*

 

[BiBunny]

If I open a door for you in jeans and a cut-off teeshirt, it's just some raggedy ass butch holding the door. If I'm wearing a tux I'm a high-status butch. Which makes your own high status more apparent when I open the door for you.

That sounds about right. ^^^^

 

[Keroin]

Manners are such a cultural thing, too. What's polite in one country is the height of insult in the next.

When I lived in Japan--and Rida and Etoile might back me up on this--noodle slurping was very much the norm. I almost laughed the first time I walked into a noodle house and heard SLURP, SLURP, SLURP.

So, I don't get too fussed about most manners.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Isn't it weird how the more effort into being polite in a gesture or comment kind of raises the expectation the effort will be returned?

 

[the captians wench]

Well, I'm all for dressing up too.

I prefer to either be really dressed up or naked. Rarely anything in between

 

[Stella_Omega]

That's ok, doesn't really seem souper important anyways. *shrug*

It is though! The thing about doing the manners thing is that every bit of it is as important as every other bit.

But it was fun to play with.

 

[knot_sweet]

I always get amused by the idea that just because people like to play dress ups in clothing from another era, they think perhaps they should have been born then.

Growing up in a time when there were women's 'how to' manuals on being a good housewife that included advice like 'don't eat', 'eat more, no-one likes a bony girl', or the myriad suggestions of subservience to men in order to be considered a 'good woman'.

Or even further back when women were considered things to be given away to the person with the highest station and / or the most money that asked. When poor women worked, but rich women were confined to the role of society lady.

Thanks, but I'll keep the options I have now and just enjoy the fabulous clothing.

As for manners...my parents were low working class. But clearly, at some point in my mother's family background they weren't. I was raised with excellent western society standard table manners and reasonably well spoken english (although this does not equate to grammatically correct, as should be evident by my typing); skills that make even the snootiest five star event comfortable.

My mum always said that as good manners, courtesy and cleanliness were free, there was no excuse not to aquire the skill set.

She also pointed out the art of social adaption as being the highest form of manners. In other words, don't go to a back yard bbq and expect wine glasses and salad forks. Snobbery and manners are not the same thing at all. Making others comfortable is the best form of good breeding.

Having been around plenty of different social classes, I'm most definately of the opinion that money does not buy class, taste, manners or courtesy.

And I'll take people who are warm, kind, thoughtful, rough as two dollar wine, wearing flip flops and pj's to the shop over the snotty bitch in the Chanel and Laboutins who doesn't even notice let alone thank the doorman or porter.