Ladies and gents, I present you with...

N'awww, making me blush ;)

So I have a bit of an issue that I thought maybe somebody could help me with. I've been climbing at my local wall and have made really good friends with a group of mainly boys (a couple of girls). One or two know about my depression and one of those guys has been climbing with me a lot. We joke around and that but I don't think I'm giving out any signals, or at least, not on purpose. He gave me a lift last week, and then again last night, though it's a fair way out of his drive home, on the nights when I wouldn't have been able to make it. It's really lovely of him but last night on the way back he patted my thigh while we were joking around. I don't wanna go cold on him and seem rude but at the same time if I'm giving out signals, I really don't mean to and I don't wanna offend him either. Or if I assume, like I'd rather, that he's just a sweetheart and a flirt, then I might end up leading him on, so I'm a bit stuck. I don't want to get involved with any of that group in that way, cause I'm just really enjoying their company. Any ideas? xx
 
Sent you my " opinion " not saying I'm a pro or know what I'm talking about. Hope it helps somewhat.
 
If he's young (your age), he is thinking there is more to this than just friendship. That's all there is to it.

You need to sit him down and tell him the truth. This may be an uncomfortable conversation. And it may lead to him never talking to you again. Unfortunately, there is no way around it. The other choice is doing nothing and seeing what happens, which could be an even uglier mess when he eventually makes a more significant move and expects some kind of reciprocation, at which point you're only going to have this conversation and it will be even less comfortable.

How do I know he thinks there is more to your relationship? Because I was his age once and you're a hottie. That's all I need to know.

Unless he's gay.
 
Yep, you have got a problem. Talking and flirting is one thing but lift(s) home and physical contact is a sure sign he is expecting more than friendship. I assume he's young, so just smiling at him would be a signal. Just say it's not going to happen be VERY direct about it, but nice. Unless he's a jackass he will get the point and not be too hurt by the rejection.

Hopefully everything will work out.

Other than that how have you been?

Matt



N'awww, making me blush ;)

So I have a bit of an issue that I thought maybe somebody could help me with. I've been climbing at my local wall and have made really good friends with a group of mainly boys (a couple of girls). One or two know about my depression and one of those guys has been climbing with me a lot. We joke around and that but I don't think I'm giving out any signals, or at least, not on purpose. He gave me a lift last week, and then again last night, though it's a fair way out of his drive home, on the nights when I wouldn't have been able to make it. It's really lovely of him but last night on the way back he patted my thigh while we were joking around. I don't wanna go cold on him and seem rude but at the same time if I'm giving out signals, I really don't mean to and I don't wanna offend him either. Or if I assume, like I'd rather, that he's just a sweetheart and a flirt, then I might end up leading him on, so I'm a bit stuck. I don't want to get involved with any of that group in that way, cause I'm just really enjoying their company. Any ideas? xx
 
He definitely sounds interested, so don't lead him on. Just implicitly tell him you don't get involved with people you climb with, if you don't want to be direct and hurt his feelings.
 
He definitely sounds interested, so don't lead him on. Just implicitly tell him you don't get involved with people you climb with, if you don't want to be direct and hurt his feelings.

I think Dionysian has got it spot on. It lets him know the score but you're not being direct enough to hurt his feelings.

Those direct talks can be awkward and messy. This way you're letting him know without directing it him personally. If he's a nice guy then he'll get the hint.
 
N'awww, making me blush ;)

So I have a bit of an issue that I thought maybe somebody could help me with. I've been climbing at my local wall and have made really good friends with a group of mainly boys (a couple of girls). One or two know about my depression and one of those guys has been climbing with me a lot. We joke around and that but I don't think I'm giving out any signals, or at least, not on purpose. He gave me a lift last week, and then again last night, though it's a fair way out of his drive home, on the nights when I wouldn't have been able to make it. It's really lovely of him but last night on the way back he patted my thigh while we were joking around. I don't wanna go cold on him and seem rude but at the same time if I'm giving out signals, I really don't mean to and I don't wanna offend him either. Or if I assume, like I'd rather, that he's just a sweetheart and a flirt, then I might end up leading him on, so I'm a bit stuck. I don't want to get involved with any of that group in that way, cause I'm just really enjoying their company. Any ideas? xx

As the Duke would say: "you've got to head him off at the pass." Better to let him know now then lead him down the path of flirtation and then throw up the stop sign.
 
Thanks you guys. I guess the problem with a direct talk would be that he turned around and said he wasn't interested in the first place and I'd got the wrong idea. I tend to be very smiley and upbeat, being teased and teasing in the way I'm used to with the boys I climb with. I guess it could be quite easily mistaken for flirtation.
 
...finally

so you have a great thread going on here, I can't believe that I never discovered you before! Your photos are really expressive and sexy! The video is pretty rad too. You gotta stick around cause you just made this site that much better!
 
He definitely sounds interested, so don't lead him on. Just implicitly tell him you don't get involved with people you climb with, if you don't want to be direct and hurt his feelings.

I think Dionysian has got it spot on. It lets him know the score but you're not being direct enough to hurt his feelings.

Those direct talks can be awkward and messy. This way you're letting him know without directing it him personally. If he's a nice guy then he'll get the hint.

i agree. direct is bad. you don't want him up there firing rocks down on you...
 
Thanks you guys. I guess the problem with a direct talk would be that he turned around and said he wasn't interested in the first place and I'd got the wrong idea. I tend to be very smiley and upbeat, being teased and teasing in the way I'm used to with the boys I climb with. I guess it could be quite easily mistaken for flirtation.

Another avenue would be to make yourself less attractive. I know this will be hard for you because you are such a beauty and funny and smart.

Maybe on the next ride home fart in the car and leave the window rolled up, or give him an anchovy burp. I've had something similar happen to me and we are still friends today. I never saw her in the same light and our friendship grew without sexual desire.

I'm not making light of your situation, just trying to give you a smile and give some helpful hints (not the solution above). Guys tend to see what they want to see and if he sees you as less attractive, maybe he will settle down and see your friendship as the most important thing.

Amp
 
N'awww, making me blush ;)

So I have a bit of an issue that I thought maybe somebody could help me with. I've been climbing at my local wall and have made really good friends with a group of mainly boys (a couple of girls). One or two know about my depression and one of those guys has been climbing with me a lot. We joke around and that but I don't think I'm giving out any signals, or at least, not on purpose. He gave me a lift last week, and then again last night, though it's a fair way out of his drive home, on the nights when I wouldn't have been able to make it. It's really lovely of him but last night on the way back he patted my thigh while we were joking around. I don't wanna go cold on him and seem rude but at the same time if I'm giving out signals, I really don't mean to and I don't wanna offend him either. Or if I assume, like I'd rather, that he's just a sweetheart and a flirt, then I might end up leading him on, so I'm a bit stuck. I don't want to get involved with any of that group in that way, cause I'm just really enjoying their company. Any ideas? xx

Call him "mate".

Simple. Done. :)
 
Thanks you guys. I guess the problem with a direct talk would be that he turned around and said he wasn't interested in the first place and I'd got the wrong idea. I tend to be very smiley and upbeat, being teased and teasing in the way I'm used to with the boys I climb with. I guess it could be quite easily mistaken for flirtation.

Climber boys can quite easily become infatuated with new climber girls. It takes a special kind of crazy to want to wrestle with a wall for fun, and the ones who are really hooked are seeking their own kind. Unless there's some reciprocation, however, they're more than likely to just get over it and be happy that they have one more climber in their circle.

The trick is to stay friendly and natural, but make it clear that you're just there for the climbing and the company. Only seeing them at the climbing gym (North American term) is a good way to reinforce that point. You don't have to have a direct talk unless they bring it up first, or they're really not getting the hint.

Good luck, and looking forward to the new artistic direction!
 
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Clear your box and PM me lady.

Done :kiss:

Climber boys can quite easily become infatuated with new climber girls. It takes a special kind of crazy to want to wrestle with a wall for fun, and the ones who are really hooked are seeking their own kind. Unless there's some reciprocation, however, they're more than likely to just get over it and be happy that they have one more climber in their circle.

The trick is to stay friendly and natural, but make it clear that you're just there for the climbing and the company. Only seeing them at the climbing gym (North American term) is a good way to reinforce that point. You don't have to have a direct talk unless they bring it up first, or they're really not getting the hint.

Good luck, and looking forward to the new artistic direction!

Yup. Waiting for him to get over it and realize I'm not looking for that. If that fails I'll ask him for dating advice, then he'll get it.

So I've just spent 2 hours reading this thread.

Wow, you're delicious :kiss:

Thanks you :kiss:

Call him "mate".

Simple. Done. :)

Don't think I can get away with that, I'm a little too posh and shy sounding...

Another avenue would be to make yourself less attractive. I know this will be hard for you because you are such a beauty and funny and smart.

Maybe on the next ride home fart in the car and leave the window rolled up, or give him an anchovy burp. I've had something similar happen to me and we are still friends today. I never saw her in the same light and our friendship grew without sexual desire.

I'm not making light of your situation, just trying to give you a smile and give some helpful hints (not the solution above). Guys tend to see what they want to see and if he sees you as less attractive, maybe he will settle down and see your friendship as the most important thing.

Amp

I'm not sure I could muster the confidence to do that...I mean, I don't think I'm even throwing out any signals, generally when someone likes me I'm so shy I lose any kind of confidence. I'm just waiting for him to get over it.

i agree. direct is bad. you don't want him up there firing rocks down on you...

Don't worry, I'm not doing that.

He's got a point ... lol You are awesome :)

Stop being so damn awesome; ever consider that option? ;)

N'awwww. Guess it's a curse ;)

:rose:

so you have a great thread going on here, I can't believe that I never discovered you before! Your photos are really expressive and sexy! The video is pretty rad too. You gotta stick around cause you just made this site that much better!

Thanks mister, I'm not going anywhere x
 
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