Quick and dirty.... I can't do it.

[lovecraft68]

When I started writing I went by the motto of let the story take me where it wants to go and let it fly. In fact I say that to any new authors coming here who seemed concerned with how their work will be received.

But now that I've been at it awhile I notice all my stories are fairly long. I would say my average lit story is 5 pages. Now that's fine, I like putting in back stories and doing slow build ups etc...

So not too long ago I decided I wanted to try to write some quick and dirty stories. Not everyone needs a damn history lesson on the characters and sometimes people's motivation is they're just damn horny.

What I did was to jot down a couple of the most basic, cliched ideas I could think of that would be a quick and dirty story. The young landscaper getting invited in my the hot cougar who lost her job and can;t pay him in cash, but....

The young hot intern who just can't afford to get laid off, surely there is something she could do....

Basic stuff.

I've tried three times and each time find myself "telling a story" The cougar who lost her job is frustrated because her husband left her for a younger woman and the divorce left her broke. She hasn't gotten laid in months, but is still hesitant, after all he's young and....

I catch myself doing it and stop. I delete what I wrote and try to just get into it, envisioning cheesy dialogue and bad 70's porn music in my head I tell myself like Nike says "Just do it"

And I can't. Okay, technically I can, but its forced, its lousy, and I have no fun with it.

I understand as the author I can do whatever I want and people will like it or leave it, but I find it odd that I literally can't seem to do it.

Any advice, opinions?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

HAHAHAHAHA I cannot write a long story!

Read some Raymond Carver.

I'm writing a shortie where Dad bails his daughter outta jail and takes her to a diner for breakfast. At the diner the girl watches a Cougar walk by their table, and the kid says "I've seen less makeup on dead people.' But she watches the woman. Later they meet in the restroom, the woman is changing to her uniform and catches the kid checking her out, and pounces. Wham bam.

Carver has a story like that. Guy goes to where his wife works to eat supper, and watches men check her out when she bends over the ice cream freezer to scoop ice cream. Hes thinking, SHE'S GOTTA DO SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE SPIDER VEINS. But the guys are looking hard.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Not me, I'm in the same boat!

I have a gang bang type of situation, with the woman in the middle mostly calling the shots. then I think-- she wants to fall into bottom space, so she can stop calling the shots. And then I like to put someone into a new situation in these stories, so that I can grab some kind of narrative tension, so who is the newbie?
And how did she get there?
And which woman sits on the middle's face?
And should Jess and Gloria show up?

This shit is hard to figure out!

 

[lovecraft68]

Not me, I'm in the same boat!

I have a gang bang type of situation, with the woman in the middle mostly calling the shots. then I think-- she wants to fall into bottom space, so she can stop calling the shots. And then I like to put someone into a new situation in these stories, so that I can grab some kind of narrative tension, so who is the newbie?
And how did she get there?
And which woman sits on the middle's face?
And should Jess and Gloria show up?

This shit is hard to figure out!

Yes! And I tried this. A simple swingers party. I started it with they have done this before(once a month) they know everyone there, tried to take everything away that would lead to conflict, or going off on a tangent.

Then....she decides that she wants the guy she picks to be rough with her and demean her and her husband is surprised, but every turned on and she wonders.....

Why the fuck can't LC just get me fucked! Why am I thinking about anything but cock? Fuck you LC!

 

[lovecraft68]

HAHAHAHAHA I cannot write a long story!

Read some Raymond Carver.

I'm writing a shortie where Dad bails his daughter outta jail and takes her to a diner for breakfast. At the diner the girl watches a Cougar walk by their table, and the kid says "I've seen less makeup on dead people.' But she watches the woman. Later they meet in the restroom, the woman is changing to her uniform and catches the kid checking her out, and pounces. Wham bam.

Carver has a story like that. Guy goes to where his wife works to eat supper, and watches men check her out when she bends over the ice cream freezer to scoop ice cream. Hes thinking, SHE'S GOTTA DO SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE SPIDER VEINS. But the guys are looking hard.

Why did I just envision Tammy Faye Baker?

Yeah, your stuff is short, I can't introduce my main character in the time you've written the entire thing.

 

[JackLuis]

I generally just cut loose and write, but I end up not having an satisfying ending. So I'm trying to write the plot for my next story and figure I'll fill in as I go. I'm not getting a lot of words written but it's making me think instead of running off at the lip.

It is hard and gets harder as you learn the craft.

 

[HeyAll]

Here's a tip:

Some of the long stories I've seen start off with great detail on the female character.

So instead of going on-and-on about how she won a settlement from her divorce, she grew up in a religious family, details on her political affiliations, her life growing up in a small town, the details of her moral compass, how she struggled in college and her work ethic helped her pull through, ect...

Just say that she works at a law firm and always dresses in a business attire.


In other words; just get to the point.

If all you say is that the female character works at a law firm and dresses sharp, that statement alone already gives the reader a visual image of her looks and a feel for her personality.


Do you want her to be conservative? Call her a teacher?

Do you want her to be adventurous? Call her dance instructor.


Get to the point. Sometimes less is more. If I tell you the a character is "prim & proper," then you already know what I'm talking about. There's no need for long analysis unless it helps the story in some way.

 

[lovecraft68]

I generally just cut loose and write, but I end up not having an satisfying ending. So I'm trying to write the plot for my next story and figure I'll fill in as I go. I'm not getting a lot of words written but it's making me think instead of running off at the lip.

It is hard and gets harder as you learn the craft.

Well said. Because what I felt this exercise would do is teach me some discipline.

I'm very disciplined physically, but mentally, although I can focus, it is only on things I want to focus on, anything else flusters me and I can't stay with it.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Why did I just envision Tammy Faye Baker?

Yeah, your stuff is short, I can't introduce my main character in the time you've written the entire thing.

Jeez have you never had encounters?

I went next door one day, my neighbor yells 'doors unlocked' and he's fucking a girl, she says hi! Then she says, my mouth is free if you are!

Anuther time me and the neighbor are at a restaurant with 2 of his friends. During the meal a foot starts rubbing my leg. Its the wife of the other guy. I end up with her work number and end up fucking her at her house while her hubby watches. All I know is her name, his name, and where she worked.

 

[lovecraft68]

Jeez have you never had encounters?

I went next door one day, my neighbor yells 'doors unlocked' and he's fucking a girl, she says hi! Then she says, my mouth is free if you are!

Anuther time me and the neighbor are at a restaurant with 2 of his friends. During the meal a foot starts rubbing my leg. Its the wife of the other guy. I end up with her work number and end up fucking her at her house while her hubby watches. All I know is her name, his name, and where she worked.

I've had wham bams and its not like I cannot envision them. They just grow in the time it takes to go from brain to keyboard.

Hell, I even watch some porn to get me in that mood.

"Hi"

"Why hello"

"Can I suck your cock?

"Why yes you can, how about my friend?"

"Hey, the more the merrier."

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Why did I just envision Tammy Faye Baker?

Yeah, your stuff is short, I can't introduce my main character in the time you've written the entire thing.

For years the state computer gave me 85 lines to tell my tale, and not one word more. So I learned to compress the story. Shit when I started I had like 15 lines of space to work with. It was telegraphic!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I've had wham bams and its not like I cannot envision them. They just grow in the time it takes to go from brain to keyboard.

Hell, I even watch some porn to get me in that mood.

"Hi"

"Why hello"

"Can I suck your cock?

"Why yes you can, how about my friend?"

"Hey, the more the merrier."

It takes practice, and I'm still trying to get to clever.

 

[lovecraft68]

It takes practice, and I'm still trying to get to clever.

If I were being clever it would be

"HI"

"Why, hello."

"Can I suck your cock?"

"Sure why not, what about my friend?"

"Well, I guess if he wants to suck your cock too I'd be willing to share."

 

[sr71plt]

If you're predetermined that "quick and dirty" has to mean cliched, you don't really want to write a quick and dirty story; you want to look down your nose at them. And if you can't write a story without packing in all of your social and political agendas, it's no surprise you can't write a short one. If you stick to a single succinct, focused dilemma hook (quick) that includes hot sex as a center of the dilemma and/or resolution (dirty) and just not include whatever doesn't directly serve that point and you're a good, disciplined writer, you can do a quick and dirty in under 1,500 words (less than half a Literotica page). It's Literotica's "whatever" length standards and popular notion (which may be true) that readers want three Lit. pages (referred to in another thread today) that contribute to lazy, bloated text. It' not like the readers here, in general, are all that discerning in what makes a good story in terms of technique.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

If I were being clever it would be

"HI"

"Why, hello."

"Can I suck your cock?"

"Sure why not, what about my friend?"

"Well, I guess if he wants to suck your cock too I'd be willing to share."

http://astoryeveryday.com/2011/10/13/raymond-carver-a-small-good-thing/

A RAYMOND CARVER STORY

 

[lovecraft68]

If you're predetermined that "quick and dirty" has to mean cliched, you don't really want to write a quick and dirty story; you want to look down your nose at them. And if you can't write a story without packing in all of your social and political agendas, it's no surprise you can't write a short one. If you stick to a single succinct, focused dilemma hook (quick) that includes hot sex as a center of the dilemma and/or resolution (dirty) and just not include whatever doesn't directly serve that point and you're a good, disciplined writer, you can do a quick and dirty in under 1,500 words (less than half a Literotica page). It's Literotica's "whatever" length standards and popular notion (which may be true) that readers want three Lit. pages (referred to in another thread today) that contribute to lazy, bloated text. It' not like the readers here, in general, are all that discerning in what makes a good story in terms of technique.

I'm not "looking down" at a certain type of story, just going with "simple" scenarios that do not require much thought.

I'm not concerned with what lit readers think of length. This is meant as an exercise or maybe more accurately a challenge issued by me, to me.

Its not about the approval of anyone else.

I admire people who can tell a good story in a couple of thousand words, but at the moment that seems to elude me.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Do you want her to be adventurous? Call her dance instructor.

Dance instructors never struck me as being especially adventuresome. Maybe I haven't met the right ones.

I've never given this character a job-- she's probably a well paid tradesman of some type, with some kind of useless humanities degree in her past.

 

[sr71plt]

I'm not "looking down" at a certain type of story, just going with "simple" scenarios that do not require much thought.

Same same. Who said a good stroker didn't require thought? Who said a good stroker had to have more than a sketch of a scenario to have a worthwhile point (and good sex)?

(I can hear the rumble of Saki and O'Hara and Poe and Hemingway spinning in their graves and foaming at the mouth.)

You just aren't approaching it in a creative manner (not that you have to approach it at all).

 

[lovecraft68]

Same same. Who said a good stroker didn't require thought? Who said a good stroker had to have more than a sketch of a scenario to have a worthwhile point (and good sex)?

(I can hear the rumble of Saki and O'Hara and Poe and Hemingway spinning in their graves and foaming at the mouth.)

You just aren't approaching it in a creative manner (not that you have to approach it at all).

Bold is the point. It does not have to have more than a sketch of a scenario and be a good story. Hence SIMPLE. Not much more than a sketch of a plot would = simple.

And if Poe and Hemingway are listening to conversation in an AH forum the afterlife must be pretty damn dull.

 

[MSTarot]

you could try not really introducing one of the characters.

Woman on a subway its crowded(When is it ever not) she running late for something. Here you can give details to let us know her.

suddenly someones hand is on her ass. when she tries to turn and look it disapears. Now who was it? Simple decriptions of the people behind her that's all the detail of them you need.

have a woman point the blame to one of the guys.

but it was her.

easy simple story yet could be very erotic. Maybe when she looks away the hand returns. shrugs.

So long as it's always fun write what ever length you like.

 

[sr71plt]

Bold is the point. It does not have to have more than a sketch of a scenario and be a good story. Hence SIMPLE. Not much more than a sketch of a plot would = simple.

No, you don't get it. Plot, characterization, setting, theme. Pick one and be complex or hatchet heavy with that one. Minimize the other three while not sacrificing them--use your words succinctly and wisely on those. And since you mentioned dirty as a requirement, give that good space too.

For instance:

Cop picks up prostitute, telling her she's lucky it's him. They have an understanding that he won't bring her in if she fucks him for a cut rate (This can be conveyed to the reader in very few words, while covering plot, setting, and characters). (300 well-chosen, focused words--mostly through dialogue.)

He gets servicing that's pretty demeaning to her but hot for the reader while reading her a line of her being better than this life and needing to just get out of it and not let men take advantage of her (this being erotica, half or more of the wordage can go to the sex act, interspersed with him giving her the "just walk away from the life" line that the readers can't miss the irony of in that situation.) (500 words)

Zapper at the end--after he's been every man he warns her of and can't see it--he tells her he's short on cash, so can she trust him until their regular session next Tuesday--and, by the way, she should do away with the minskirt; it makes her look like a slut and encourages men to accost her. (200 words)

In this you can get enough characterization to make them distinct and believable, a reflection of the seedy environment, a plot (dilemma: she's picked up trapped in "the life"; false resolution: he's her savour; strong theme: He's what he warns her about and life's doesn't have a fairytale ending).

The story is strong on social point theme and is more than half fucking.

It can be done. You just have to approach it like quick is in read, not in craft.

This same scenario could be adjusted to emphasize any one of the other three story components--while still be over 50 percent sex act.

 

[chocolatecookie3]

I would like to switch brains because I have the opposite problem! I can't write long stories. I am working on several that will be longer, but nothing I've posted has much in the way of character development. Can't say much for the quality though I am happy with most of them.

 

[lovecraft68]

It can be done. You just have to approach it like quick is in read, not in craft.

Now, that's an interesting thought. I'll have to try that, sit and envision I'm reading, not writing, it and go from there.

For the record, in my scenario the prostitute bites the cops cock off and shoves it down his throat so he chokes to death on it. Then pulls it out and mails it to his wife so she knows what a piece of shit she married.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Its like everything else, you either got it or you don't. God packs every bag of Cracker Jack with a different prize.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I've tried three times and each time find myself "telling a story" The cougar who lost her job is frustrated because her husband left her for a younger woman and the divorce left her broke. She hasn't gotten laid in months, but is still hesitant, after all he's young and....

I catch myself doing it and stop. I delete what I wrote and try to just get into it, envisioning cheesy dialogue and bad 70's porn music in my head I tell myself like Nike says "Just do it"

And I can't. Okay, technically I can, but its forced, its lousy, and I have no fun with it.

I understand as the author I can do whatever I want and people will like it or leave it, but I find it odd that I literally can't seem to do it.

Any advice, opinions?

I can't help you. My first story here was meant to be a one-shot brief encounter. It turned into a 14-part romance novel