The Orgasm Gap

[Stella_Omega]

Who among the ladies can expect the same level of mind-reading from their partners as they can from themselves? Not me. The orgasms I give myself feel like a weeks' worth of sensory overload.

I know men who are not what you might call conventionally sexual, who need a dynamic beyond stick-it-in-and-hump to get off. They, too will say that their own hand does it better. But I only know a few people who have eschewed actual human contact in favor of their hands.

I don't mind having lesser orgasms with a partner. I can take care of myself on the off days.

 

[bronzeage]

I don't know what part of the reality that "most men are in it only for their own orgasm, which can be attained 98 percent of the time they can get hard no matter what anyone else is doing" some of you don't understand.

Can you cite the rulebook where it says a man has an obligation to trigger an orgasm in a woman? I don't think many men have read that book. Sure, if you want a long-term relationship, but the reality is that many more women appear to be into that "want" as well than men are.

Just an observation. I'm not commenting on the rightness or wrongness of it--just the reality of it--and of the futility of trying to assert that men have an obligation that most of them woudn't agree they have, even if they gave it much thought, which they don't, at least for many of the years of their active sex lives.

Manbook, page 38, second paragraph.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Manbook, page 38, second paragraph.

Has it been published in ebook format yet?

 

[bronzeage]

Has it been published in ebook format yet?

Yes, and it includes an entire chapter on ratcheting tie straps, their use and misuse.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

It comes down to the individual, but I'm honest with my partners with whether or not they've gotten me to orgasm.

I can bring myself to orgasm in under a minute, but I have yet to find a partner that can do it in under an hour. I think that in time they could get better, but I have never been in a sexual relationship for longer than a week. Roughly 2-3 encounters is the average of what I get.

I enjoy sex, even if I don't get off. Getting off is a bonus.

Speaking of sex... it would be nice to have some.

 

[NaokoSmith]

I'm with Stella and Roden here. When I used to enjoy 'eating at the Y', or shall we say, playing with xx chromosonal pleasures, I appreciated a bit of verbal guidance such as "Yes, just there, oh yes, yes, YES!" and even, "unh, unh, UNNNNNHHHH!" can be helpful.

Sorry you got a bit of a slapping, Roden. I think you are a gennelman and a scholar (of sorts!), please do continue to ask for feminine guidance. It's always nice to meet a man who gives a woman head, I mean her head, I mean respects her opinions and high intellect. (Although I just wanna add a health warning: you are a bit too sexy for me to be PMing about it with you! So take your mouse off that link, unless you want a smacked nose and a considerably lighter wallet. These days, chocolate brownies are not quite enough for the lazy MILF, I rarely get into bed for less than a pair of diamond earrings and a bottle of Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque .)

Chaste little kiss for you
And big kiss for Stella, (I made you gluten-free muffins in the Spam thread)

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I, guess, would be the one and only, or of the few passionate lovers here. I have always believed sex was about pleasuring each other- not really a time to be selfish. I want to make sure that my partner get's theirs. If I happen to cum early, I can usually manage to keep it up long enough for them to get off. THAT'S just me though and I've never really had to be told or aimed or directed which way to make them cum. I learn on the job.

If you're seriously that selfish a lover, you should be masturbating. With an additional person, it's give and take. I don't know about any of you, but I've not been happy after an encounter with someone who doesn't understand the concept of two people fucking. The situation is not equal, I feel used and probably will get pissed off.

 

[Handley_Page]

I
. I have always believed sex was about pleasuring each other- not really a time to be selfish. I want to make sure that my partner gets theirs.

.

Oh how right you are, Jax.
Its the 'wonder' of seeing what you can do and seeing the reaction in the partner.

 

[Dyslexicea]

Spoken like a true self-centered woman. Certainly can't understand why you couldn't get a man to understand you and worship you.

Not only are you misogynistic, I would say you're also homophobic despite the big grin. Your assertion that being a lesbian has anything to do with rejection by men, shows what a small man you really are.

Contrary to your statement, men do find me attractive and if I chose to do so I would have no trouble having as many men as I wanted. It's really quite simple, flutter my eye lashes, give him a demure smile, act the fool to his self assumed wisdom and soon he'll be groveling at my feet, willing to be led anywhere by his little dick.

I don't know what part of the reality that "most men are in it only for their own orgasm, which can be attained 98 percent of the time they can get hard no matter what anyone else is doing" some of you don't understand.

Can you cite the rulebook where it says a man has an obligation to trigger an orgasm in a woman? I don't think many men have read that book. Sure, if you want a long-term relationship, but the reality is that many more women appear to be into that "want" as well than men are.

Just an observation. I'm not commenting on the rightness or wrongness of it--just the reality of it--and of the futility of trying to assert that men have an obligation that most of them woudn't agree they have, even if they gave it much thought, which they don't, at least for many of the years of their active sex lives.

So in other words a woman should always carry a vibrator in her purse, that way when her needs aren't met she can humiliate the hell out of him. Regardless of my low opinion of men and contrary to your also rather low opinion of other men, I think most men want to be truly good lovers and do want to please their partners. Why so many men don't take the time to figure it out nor the time to give her satisfaction, it's not really that hard, is beyond me.

Yes Stella, you are right some women do have a problem communicating their needs but that is still not justification for men to not know, nor care, what is needed to give her an orgasm. And lacking an orgasm overtime sex within a long term relationship becomes to her nothing more than a chore, no different than weekly grocery shopping.

Just my humble, or not, lesbian opinion!

 

[NaokoSmith]

Quick, quick, Pilot! It's your lucky day. You got a really good fight on here.

But if you would rather have something bun-like without raisins, I made you pancakes in a spam thread earlier. With coffee and cream ....

 

[Tio_Narratore]

If it's only a matter of getting yourself off, fine. Then each is responsible for their own orgasm, and all they need do is use each other as a masturbation device. If he comes before her, I guess it's her responsibility to come sooner.

I prefer sex as a relationship, though, with each exploring what pleasure they can receive as well as give. In learning more about another, I find one learns so much more about oneself as well.

 

[Dyslexicea]

If he's never eaten you before, take a shower together for fun and you can get flavoured lubes. Put a little on you to get him past that first attempt.

In other words..................oh just fuck it. I'm so very, very happy I'm a lesbian.

I think the most important thing is to realize that most couples don't come simultaneously, though I love to make that happen.

If, my dear boy, you're speaking about intercourse most women aren't going to come at all but even I know positions where a man can stimulate her clit during intercourse so she can come. Of course I didn't learn those from being with a man, let's just say strap it on!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Self absorbed women fascinate me. Their enduring presupposition is TAKE CARE OF ME, its what feminism is all about, cosmetic competence.

When necessary guys simply need to tell the bitches, GO FUCK YOURSELF OR TAKE YOUR LOVE TO TOWN OR STFU.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It's not self-absorbed for a woman to want an orgasm during sex. Men have orgasms during sex. It's practically guaranteed for most men.

It's not self-absorbed to talk about the fact that it's difficult for most women to have orgasms during sex, without some understanding from her partner. It's not self-absorbed to talk strategy and how to get there.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

It's not self-absorbed for a woman to want an orgasm during sex. Men have orgasms during sex. It's practically guaranteed for most men.

It's not self-absorbed to talk about the fact that it's difficult for most women to have orgasms during sex, without some understanding from her partner. It's not self-absorbed to talk strategy and how to get there.

Your post implies that somethings wrong with women that they need all the TLC and ass-kissing to cum. I bet its more to do with their regards and esteem for baby-daddy. I suspect that if a woman is nutz about her guy or gal, she'll cum all nite. I've seen no evidence that women are damaged goods sexually. Its buyers remorse.

But what in fuck do I know.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

But what in fuck do I know.

Nailed it

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Nailed it

I bet my moustache is fuller than yours.

 

[sr71plt]

Quick, quick, Pilot! It's your lucky day. You got a really good fight on here.

But if you would rather have something bun-like without raisins, I made you pancakes in a spam thread earlier. With coffee and cream ....

Naw, she's off base on anything I posted, and she can keep her obvious frustration and need to be bitchy and fight all to herself.

Don't need no food at the moment, thanks. Just returned from a lunch of grilled halloumi cheese, dolma, and iskender kabob--I'm good through at least one more meal.

 

[Dyslexicea]

It's not self-absorbed for a woman to want an orgasm during sex. Men have orgasms during sex. It's practically guaranteed for most men.

It's not self-absorbed to talk about the fact that it's difficult for most women to have orgasms during sex, without some understanding from her partner. It's not self-absorbed to talk strategy and how to get there.

If only they had ears to hear.
Much more fun on our side of the fence!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

If only they had ears to hear.
Must more fun on our side of the fence!

No. If your way had survival benefits every woman would be queer. You cant impregnate a woman.

 

[Dyslexicea]

No. If your way had survival benefits every woman would be queer. You cant impregnate a woman.

Oh my god I just can't help myself.

James the only way every women would become a dyke is if every man was like you.

Admittedly James we do need a man's sperm, not yours of course.

 

[Dyslexicea]

Quick, quick, Pilot! It's your lucky day. You got a really good fight on here.

But if you would rather have something bun-like without raisins, I made you pancakes in a spam thread earlier. With coffee and cream ....

It seems Pilot has more bark than fight. I so adore a man who's willing to fight.

If you're offering Naoko, no pancakes or coffee but some tasty cream would be nice.

Edited to add: I like your blog, you seem to be a very interesting person.

 

[sr71plt]

I think more likely that I have more common sense than to try to have a discussion with a screamer like you.

As I noted, your rejoinder didn't have a damn thing to do with anything I posted. This is fairly typical of the angry-with-life self-possessed. You're obviously not having a very good life. I think there's a reason for that. I see no reason to contribute to its spread. At least we've found the matching bookend for Safe-bet Usurper (if, in fact, you aren't the same person). So, you now go to the same place I sent her.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Oh my god I just can't help myself.

James the only way every women would become a dyke is if every man was like you.

Admittedly James we do need a man's sperm, not yours of course.

You flatter yourself, I dont recall offering a donation to your charity.

Everyone gets an opinion, dear. There are enough of your sisters desperate enough for men like me to keep me busy.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You flatter yourself, I dont recall offering a donation to your charity.

Everyone gets an opinion, dear. There are enough of your sisters desperate enough for men like me to keep me busy.

They only want your collards, jimmy.