BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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Tell a Joke
- Thread starter in_oral_office
- Start date
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
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- 2,041
Best Christmas Lights Display
This is cool. It looks like the house is jumping.
As the story goes, the guy that owns this house lives north of Cincinnati, Ohio. Police were constantly being called for traffic jams and accidents in the neighborhood, so they asked him to shut it down during certain hours. Instead he started charging by car load to payoff duty police to be there. The guy is supposedly a real computer GEEK
http://www.flixxy.com/best-christmas-lights-display.htm
http://www.flixxy.com/best-christmas-lights-display.htm
This is cool. It looks like the house is jumping.
As the story goes, the guy that owns this house lives north of Cincinnati, Ohio. Police were constantly being called for traffic jams and accidents in the neighborhood, so they asked him to shut it down during certain hours. Instead he started charging by car load to payoff duty police to be there. The guy is supposedly a real computer GEEK
http://www.flixxy.com/best-christmas-lights-display.htm
http://www.flixxy.com/best-christmas-lights-display.htm
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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Rolando2
A Very Nice Dirty Old Man
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- Jan 27, 2011
- Posts
- 1,815
You live to be 80 years old and think you know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to hell!
An old marine pilot sat down at Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee....
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, "Are you a real pilot?" He replied, "Well, I spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans.... Flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars.... I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?"
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I go to work, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. When I go to bed at night, I dream about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women."
The two looked at each other for a little while, with the old marine sitting there with his mouth open and eyes wide and with a dumb look on his face. She then turned and looked forward sipping her coffee, and the old man also turned and and every now and then as he sipped his coffee he would shake his head as if he was lost in another world.
After she finished her coffee, she got up and left, with the old marine still sitting there shaking his head in disbelief every now and then while still sipping his coffee.
A little while later, a young man sat down next to the old marine, ordered a coffee and after it was served to him, he looked around and then asked the old man, "Are you a pilot?"
As the old marine sat there, looking straight ahead without turning his head to look at the young man, and with a dumb disbelieving look on his face, staring off into space in front of him, he replied, "I always thought that I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-JzC2ykc_0sc/TYDd0IfE0hI/AAAAAAAABik/hncW6X0noOE/s100/27814007.gif
An old marine pilot sat down at Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee....
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, "Are you a real pilot?" He replied, "Well, I spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans.... Flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars.... I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?"
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I go to work, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. When I go to bed at night, I dream about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women."
The two looked at each other for a little while, with the old marine sitting there with his mouth open and eyes wide and with a dumb look on his face. She then turned and looked forward sipping her coffee, and the old man also turned and and every now and then as he sipped his coffee he would shake his head as if he was lost in another world.
After she finished her coffee, she got up and left, with the old marine still sitting there shaking his head in disbelief every now and then while still sipping his coffee.
A little while later, a young man sat down next to the old marine, ordered a coffee and after it was served to him, he looked around and then asked the old man, "Are you a pilot?"
As the old marine sat there, looking straight ahead without turning his head to look at the young man, and with a dumb disbelieving look on his face, staring off into space in front of him, he replied, "I always thought that I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-JzC2ykc_0sc/TYDd0IfE0hI/AAAAAAAABik/hncW6X0noOE/s100/27814007.gif
Rolando2
A Very Nice Dirty Old Man
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BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he don't know what you're talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, what did he say?" The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
Don't you just love lawyers?
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he don't know what you're talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, what did he say?" The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
Don't you just love lawyers?
Last edited:
bcassidy123
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- Sep 11, 2012
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- 872
I picked up this Asian chick in a bar. As we left the bar and headed back to my hotel, I said, "Just so you know now, I have a small dick." She replied, "Having a small dick does not get in the way of good sex." She was right her small dick did not get in the way at all!
------------------------------------------------
I have a buddy who's GF calls him the "Inoculator." I asked her why she called him that. She said that as a nurse she used to give shots to the patients. I told her I still did not understand the name. She said whenever they were going to have sex, it would remind her that when she was about to give someone a shot, she would say, "You will feel a little prick, here!"
------------------------------------------------
I have a buddy who's GF calls him the "Inoculator." I asked her why she called him that. She said that as a nurse she used to give shots to the patients. I told her I still did not understand the name. She said whenever they were going to have sex, it would remind her that when she was about to give someone a shot, she would say, "You will feel a little prick, here!"
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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Students in an advanced Biology class were
taking their mid-term exam.
The last question was, "Name seven
advantages of Mothers' Milk?"
The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student in particular was hard put to
think of seven advantages.
However, he wrote:
1) It is the perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the
bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers, and
it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
taking their mid-term exam.
The last question was, "Name seven
advantages of Mothers' Milk?"
The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student in particular was hard put to
think of seven advantages.
However, he wrote:
1) It is the perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the
bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers, and
it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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A policeman noticed a car swerving all over the road and proceeded to pull the vehicle over. He could tell the guy was obviously drunk because of the strong alcohol smell on his breath while he was asking for his license and registration. The cop said, "Okay! out of the car buddy, you're drunk!" The driver said, slurring his words, "Thank goodness for that, I thought my steering had gone on me."
BusyAfternoon
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Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
All responded except one man, Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.
"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.
"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"
The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all them mother fuckers" - and he calmly returned to his seat.
All responded except one man, Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.
"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.
"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"
The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all them mother fuckers" - and he calmly returned to his seat.
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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Winter driving tip
Driving in the snow is like eating pussy……………
If you don’t slow down and pay attention you could slide into the asshole in front of you!
Be careful this winter!
http://www.naughtybits.us/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/pussy-sucker_small.jpg
This has been a public service announcement.
Driving in the snow is like eating pussy……………
If you don’t slow down and pay attention you could slide into the asshole in front of you!
Be careful this winter!
http://www.naughtybits.us/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/pussy-sucker_small.jpg
This has been a public service announcement.
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike.
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled
to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed
to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number
of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut
this April from 72 to only 36. The rationale for the cut was the
increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a
subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members, and immediately balloted for strike
action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members
are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We
don't ask for much in return, but to be treated like this is like a
kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, England in
which he currently resides, an Al Qaeda chief executive explained, "We
sympathize with our workers' concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a
position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the
realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to
Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the
afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
laying people off. I don't like cutting wages, but I'd hate to have to
tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up".
Spokesmen for the union in the US, Canada and Australia stated that
they would be unaffected as there are no virgins in these countries
anyway.
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been largely
attributed to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle.
Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen
on going to paradise.
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled
to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed
to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number
of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut
this April from 72 to only 36. The rationale for the cut was the
increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a
subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members, and immediately balloted for strike
action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members
are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We
don't ask for much in return, but to be treated like this is like a
kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, England in
which he currently resides, an Al Qaeda chief executive explained, "We
sympathize with our workers' concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a
position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the
realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to
Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the
afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
laying people off. I don't like cutting wages, but I'd hate to have to
tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up".
Spokesmen for the union in the US, Canada and Australia stated that
they would be unaffected as there are no virgins in these countries
anyway.
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been largely
attributed to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle.
Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen
on going to paradise.
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years.. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years.. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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Pappagallo che canta l'inno di mameli /Parrot sings Italian national anthem
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfueGjii8iE&feature=player_detailpage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfueGjii8iE&feature=player_detailpage
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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A group of nuns were traveling in a car when it had a flat tire. They got out and tried to change it, but being rather unworldly, they don't really know how. Luckily, a state trooper came along and offered to change it for them. They gratefully accepted. As the trooper jacked up the car, it slipped from the jack and he yelled, "Son-of-a-bitch!" The eldest nun said to him, "That is not nice language. We understand that you are upset, but you mustn't use such language." "Sorry, Sister", he said, and tried again. Again it slipped, this time almost smashing his fingers. "Son-of-a-bitch," he yelled again. "Please, don't use such language. If changing our tire is causing you to do so, it would be better if you didn't help us." "But I get so upset, and it just comes out." "Well," said the nun, "say something else when you get upset, something like 'Sweet Jesus, help me." So the state trooper tried to jack up the car again. And again it slipped. He started to say "Son.." but he corrected himself and said, "Sweet Jesus, help me." At that, the car miraculously rose into the air all by itself. The nuns looked at the car in wonder, exclaiming, "Son-of-a-bitch!"
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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We're missing out....So while we Americans are stuck with stupid things in September like National Date Nut Bread Day (8th) and Talk Like a Pirate Day (19th), the New Zealanders are getting naked in public. Am I living in the wrong part of the world, or what?
National Penis Day 1. Hounen Matsuri (Japan)
http://sardouzami.com/goonagoon/rooze%20kir/national%20penis%20dag_files/download_004.jpg
2. National Penis Day (New Zealand)
http://www.circumstitions.com/Penisday.html#2
To celebrate, men (and a few supportive women) gather in Auckland’s Cathedral Square, get naked, and stand or sit in the formation of a giant penis, all to be a part of an art photograph. National Penis Day is aimed at raising awareness to men’s genital health, and according to some online research, also seems to include an HIV/AIDS fundraising element. According to at least one source, the city council grants permission for the event as long as it remains “discreet and sensitive.” Lest anyone be offended, signs were erected (their word, not mine) in the square warning other pedestrians as to what they may see.
about time us dicks were recognized....
National Penis Day 1. Hounen Matsuri (Japan)
http://sardouzami.com/goonagoon/rooze%20kir/national%20penis%20dag_files/download_004.jpg
2. National Penis Day (New Zealand)
http://www.circumstitions.com/Penisday.html#2
To celebrate, men (and a few supportive women) gather in Auckland’s Cathedral Square, get naked, and stand or sit in the formation of a giant penis, all to be a part of an art photograph. National Penis Day is aimed at raising awareness to men’s genital health, and according to some online research, also seems to include an HIV/AIDS fundraising element. According to at least one source, the city council grants permission for the event as long as it remains “discreet and sensitive.” Lest anyone be offended, signs were erected (their word, not mine) in the square warning other pedestrians as to what they may see.
about time us dicks were recognized....
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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Two elderly gentlemenfrom a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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Just one more gift: Just a little Christmas blow job.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5wwgsTXxLA&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5wwgsTXxLA&feature=player_embedded
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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A Medical marvel......
A Raghead immigrant goes to a Doctor and says "I feel so terrible!".
The Doctor says "You need to go home and pee and poop in a bucket everyday for a week, then throw in a few dead fish and a big rotting cabbage. Then put a towel over your head and inhale the vapours for 3 days".
The Raghead does all this and goes back to the Doctor in two weeks and says; "Doctor, I feel wonderful! What was wrong with me?"
The Doctor says; "You were homesick".
A Raghead immigrant goes to a Doctor and says "I feel so terrible!".
The Doctor says "You need to go home and pee and poop in a bucket everyday for a week, then throw in a few dead fish and a big rotting cabbage. Then put a towel over your head and inhale the vapours for 3 days".
The Raghead does all this and goes back to the Doctor in two weeks and says; "Doctor, I feel wonderful! What was wrong with me?"
The Doctor says; "You were homesick".
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
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Some Pretty Good Science Here !!!!
Well, it is not a pretty story ... about 200 dead crows near Boston.
There was concern for Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the
remains of all the crows and confirmed the problem was definitely
NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.
However, he determined that
98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only
2% were killed by car impacts.
The Province engaged a Behavioral Ornithologist to determine the
reason(s) for the disproportionate percentages of truck versus car
kill. The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short
order. When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out crow"
in a nearby tree, to warn of impending danger. -------------------
The conclusion was that the look-out crow could say "Cah", but he
could not say "Truck."
Well, it is not a pretty story ... about 200 dead crows near Boston.
There was concern for Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the
remains of all the crows and confirmed the problem was definitely
NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.
However, he determined that
98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only
2% were killed by car impacts.
The Province engaged a Behavioral Ornithologist to determine the
reason(s) for the disproportionate percentages of truck versus car
kill. The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short
order. When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out crow"
in a nearby tree, to warn of impending danger. -------------------
The conclusion was that the look-out crow could say "Cah", but he
could not say "Truck."
BusyAfternoon
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
- Posts
- 2,041
Serious food for thought in this digital Facebooking / Youtube age. You might want to pass this on …
WATCH ALL THE WAY TO THE END AND YOU WILL GET THE POINT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7pYHN9iC9I&feature=player_embedded
WATCH ALL THE WAY TO THE END AND YOU WILL GET THE POINT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7pYHN9iC9I&feature=player_embedded
eric60red
Im a HEDONISTIC ALLURIST,
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2011
- Posts
- 4,344
How To Get Out Of The Cage
HOW TO GET OUT OF THE CAGE
There were 2 male canaries just sitting in a cage, when one
day the door opened and a female canary was tossed in...
She hated being in the cage and flew circles inside trying
to find a way out. One male canary looked at the other and
said "Hey watch this" He called to the female..."Hey I know
how to get out of here" she flew over and begged him to
tell her...
He said, "Meet me at the bottom of the cage."
So she flew down to where he was waiting and he said,
"Gimme some and I'll tell you."
Being desperate to escape she gave him some birdie sex...
only to be told when they were done, "Ha!! There's no way
out of here!!" He flew up and high winged the other male...
Two days later the female was still trying to find a way
out when the other male called to her and said, "Hey I
feel sorry for you!! Meet me at the bottom of the cage and
I'll tell you how to get out."
So... she flew down and he said, "Gimme some and I'll
tell ya."By this time she was distraught and willing to do
anything, so she gave him some birdie sex... only to be
told, "Ha! Dummy there's no way out of here!"
That night the cage was covered and the female was still
looking for escape.... The next morning the cover came off
and to the astonishment of the male canaries the female
was flying circles around the OUTSIDE of the cage!!!!!
Do you know how she got out????
scroll down
GIMME SOME AND I'LL TELL YA!
.
.
HOW TO GET OUT OF THE CAGE
There were 2 male canaries just sitting in a cage, when one
day the door opened and a female canary was tossed in...
She hated being in the cage and flew circles inside trying
to find a way out. One male canary looked at the other and
said "Hey watch this" He called to the female..."Hey I know
how to get out of here" she flew over and begged him to
tell her...
He said, "Meet me at the bottom of the cage."
So she flew down to where he was waiting and he said,
"Gimme some and I'll tell you."
Being desperate to escape she gave him some birdie sex...
only to be told when they were done, "Ha!! There's no way
out of here!!" He flew up and high winged the other male...
Two days later the female was still trying to find a way
out when the other male called to her and said, "Hey I
feel sorry for you!! Meet me at the bottom of the cage and
I'll tell you how to get out."
So... she flew down and he said, "Gimme some and I'll
tell ya."By this time she was distraught and willing to do
anything, so she gave him some birdie sex... only to be
told, "Ha! Dummy there's no way out of here!"
That night the cage was covered and the female was still
looking for escape.... The next morning the cover came off
and to the astonishment of the male canaries the female
was flying circles around the OUTSIDE of the cage!!!!!
Do you know how she got out????
scroll down
GIMME SOME AND I'LL TELL YA!
.
.
eric60red
Im a HEDONISTIC ALLURIST,
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2011
- Posts
- 4,344
De Luxe Treatment
An American sailor on liberty visits one of those Japanese bath houses and pays for the deluxe treatment. So three bath maids start working him over.
First they dunk him in the hot water and lather him up good, then dunk him in the cold water and back in the hot water. They cleaned out his toenails and scrubbed his knees, elbows and behind his ears. Then again in the cold then hot tubs.
He was feeling totally cleaned and refreshed when one maid asks, "Ah sooo, you want the wax job?"
The sailor says, "Well I want everything I'm supposed to get since I paid for the deluxe."
So the bath maid takes his pecker and balls and lays them out on a marble bench. While holding his pecker up, she then raises her right hand and with a 'Hi Yahhh' she karate chops his balls... causing wax to shoot out both of his ears.
An American sailor on liberty visits one of those Japanese bath houses and pays for the deluxe treatment. So three bath maids start working him over.
First they dunk him in the hot water and lather him up good, then dunk him in the cold water and back in the hot water. They cleaned out his toenails and scrubbed his knees, elbows and behind his ears. Then again in the cold then hot tubs.
He was feeling totally cleaned and refreshed when one maid asks, "Ah sooo, you want the wax job?"
The sailor says, "Well I want everything I'm supposed to get since I paid for the deluxe."
So the bath maid takes his pecker and balls and lays them out on a marble bench. While holding his pecker up, she then raises her right hand and with a 'Hi Yahhh' she karate chops his balls... causing wax to shoot out both of his ears.
eric60red
Im a HEDONISTIC ALLURIST,
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Five Catholics
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square, Rome.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room,
Everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room
People call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room
Everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope.
When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence,
The four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,
Slim,
Tall,
38D breasts,
24" waist, and
34" hips.
When she walks into a room, people say, 'My God!'"
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square, Rome.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room,
Everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room
People call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room
Everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope.
When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence,
The four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,
Slim,
Tall,
38D breasts,
24" waist, and
34" hips.
When she walks into a room, people say, 'My God!'"
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