As The Hospital Pervs

[sweepthefloor]

I hope Grandma is getting better. I know what they say about hips but if she made it out of acute care she must be doing better. I am glad.

 

[sweepthefloor]

They always die in threes.

I am going back to the rodeo after some paid time off. I didn't really get my life together in the two weeks like I wanted to, but I got a break.

The punishment for using the time is scheduled overtime again. There is no sense complaining.

I went in for a mandatory education class during my time off. Everything looked the same, except my favorite residents are gone. There is a new batch. Included in this batch is a particular resident that I will never forget. We had a patient coding every twenty minutes. The resident was trying to put in a triple lumen catheter, and the patient had pooped in the bed.

He said to me: Can you clean this patient before I try to do the femoral line again?

I was like: Yeah right. We are not turning the patient to clean because when we do the patient will code again, don't you know about the death turn to the left?

 

[sweepthefloor]

I told the surgeon I was dressing up as scary nurse for the party.
He said: You are already in your costume?

 

[pete]

I told the surgeon I was dressing up as scary nurse for the party.
He said: You are already in your costume?

i sincerely hope you took the mature and classy high road, and stabbed him in the throat with a scalpel

 

[Balladeer08]

I told the surgeon I was dressing up as scary nurse for the party.
He said: You are already in your costume?

Have you ever noticed that doctors who think they are wits are usually half right?

 

[sweepthefloor]

i sincerely hope you took the mature and classy high road, and stabbed him in the throat with a scalpel

I was scary nurse tonight!

Have you ever noticed that doctors who think they are wits are usually half right?

That usually depends on the doctor.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I pre-medicated myself tonight for tomorrow.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I don't have any glitter on my face.

 

[pete]

I don't have any glitter on my face.

i can help with that

 

[AKGhost]

I hope Grandma is getting better. I know what they say about hips but if she made it out of acute care she must be doing better. I am glad.

Grandma is doing great. She is much nicer now that they have her off the morphine. Believe the new painkiller is Norco. She got the giggles talking about one of the nurses bending over and her thong showing, and the older doctors walking into walls and doors when she does.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Grandma is doing great. She is much nicer now that they have her off the morphine. Believe the new painkiller is Norco. She got the giggles talking about one of the nurses bending over and her thong showing, and the older doctors walking into walls and doors when she does.

She sounds adorable!

 

[sweepthefloor]

I am getting my house in order for consecutive overtime shifts. It will be robot nurse week. By Friday night I will have slurry speech. It is painful. It will be machine mode.

 

[Byron In Exile]

When my grandfather was 96 years old and in the hospital, when the nurses turned around he would pat them on the ass.

 

[sweepthefloor]

When my grandfather was 96 years old and in the hospital, when the nurses turned around he would pat them on the ass.

I am sure he was well talked about at the nurse station.

 

[sweepthefloor]

My lower back hurts.

 

[LongDrySpell]

My lower back hurts.

I honestly can't remember the last time mine didn't.

I thought it was a requirement of the job.

 

[parodyluvr75]

http://flauntonfashion.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/doctors-and-nurses.jpg

 

[LongDrySpell]

And while we're talking about back pain...

Today's admission: a 180 lb. gentleman with a 90 degree kypho-scoliosis who is completely unable to initiate independent movement. And I'm working with The-Bitch-Who-Will-Not-Help all week.

Now... where did I put the Aleve?

 

[sweepthefloor]

I am a scary nurse for Halloween this year, and going to parties. I would really like to know what is going on in this world.

http://flauntonfashion.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/doctors-and-nurses.jpg

 

[sweepthefloor]

I honestly can't remember the last time mine didn't.

I thought it was a requirement of the job.

One of the mandatory test questions for this year was about who has more back injuries: health care workers, or construction workers.

Guess who? I got the answer wrong. I was shocked and terribly pissed off about not getting 100% on the test. I was duped.

And while we're talking about back pain...

Today's admission: a 180 lb. gentleman with a 90 degree kypho-scoliosis who is completely unable to initiate independent movement. And I'm working with The-Bitch-Who-Will-Not-Help all week.

Now... where did I put the Aleve?

I am still with Advil and Aspirin. I think the man broke my back. I should stop struggling.

 

[LongDrySpell]

Construction materials are nice enough to lay still when you try to lift them. They don't suddenly go into tonic-clonic seizure activity in the middle of the lift. Or kick you.

My forearms are covered in bruises. Another fine gentleman on the unit this week likes to beat himself unconscious. That generates 10 separate 2-3 page forms and a mandatory state investigation. My forearm bruises only generate a single one-page form. So, I block the blows.

 

[LongDrySpell]

I got my rejection letter today for the job I was really hoping to get. Just when I think I have the bad feelings under control, they rear their ugly heads again.

 

[sweepthefloor]

You will get a better job. I'll put you on a 1:1 with me.

 

[blobfish]

I got my rejection letter today for the job I was really hoping to get. Just when I think I have the bad feelings under control, they rear their ugly heads again. I refilled my amytriptyline prescription yesterday - a three month supply. 9000 mg all at once. Is it enough?

I don't have the courage to find out.

I know we haven't talked much, but I hope you get well soon. Someone that makes others feel better shouldn't herself feel bad.

 

[Byron In Exile]

I am a scary nurse for Halloween this year, and going to parties. I would really like to know what is going on in this world.

Well, there will be a Presidential election shortly, and everything will improve immediately.