Bic Pens "for Her"

[desertslave]

For those of us who hand-write now & then, and have those delicate lady-hands, relief!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004F9QBE6/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk

Read the reviews, they're hilarious.

 

[PennLady]

That was great -- thanks!

 

[sun_sea_sky]

Extremely funny. Sample of the review titles:

• FINALLY!
• I am writing this in the kitchen. (!)
• ribbed-for-my-enjoyment?
• CAREFUL BOYS - If you identify as male do NOT use this product.
• Sadly Disappointed ... I am still a virgin!
• Life changing
• Will I still think math is hard?

It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty!

 

[sun_sea_sky]

I think this one is taking the piss:

Awesome pen but can we get a left-handed version?

 

[Handley_Page]

I rather liked this nonsense:

Product Features

Elegant design - just for her!
Thin barrel to fit a women's hand
Medium 1.0 mm point, Black ink
Medium 1.0 mm point
Black ink


Is Black unusual in Medium point that it needs reiterating ?

 

[sun_sea_sky]

Elegant design - just for her!

Men, however, don't like elegant designs. They prefer crap.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I love the way the public can register their opinions about corporate marketing decisions on Amazon. The mascot for the Olympic games comes to mind.

 

[sun_sea_sky]

First, those reviews brought tears to my eyes. Second, this one had a rather sexual flavour:

Helen and I discussed Wenlock over dinner in the relaxed, unforced manner traditional in the Flute household pre-lovemaking on a Thursday. Helen was under no pressure to like Wenlock.
...

On a Thursday Wenlock bathes with the family in the normal fashion.

...

I urge you in the strongest possible language (English) to buy this product. Take Wenlock home. Talk to him. Just try. Hold nothing back. Declothe, tell him your innermost thoughts and I GUARANTEE within minutes you will feel more relaxed. I went through a period of immense stress at work - Helen bore the brunt - but when Wenlock arrived, all my anxieties and fears fell away like tears in the rain.

...

Your anxieties and fears also will fall away like tears in the rain. You will not remember the old ways.

Don't delay. Don't think 'Oh, it can wait' because it can't.

 

[sun_sea_sky]

Another sexual reference:

I love this sex toy - its wonderful design caters to a number of fetishes. For a start, it's in uniform. Secondly, it only has one eye, for those who find imperfection alluring, you know, like when you really fancied that girl/bloke/unspecified with a squint or a gammy leg or something. Thirdly, it's really painful to use, which is great for the M&S crowd. Sorry, S&M crowd, pardon my typo I'm a bit distracted by a constant dull ache I have at the moment. Fourthly, it reeks of huge quantities of money having been frivolously squandered on it, which should have women everywhere going weak at the knees.

 

[sun_sea_sky]

Here's a plot idea for you:

I had just graduated from med school and had moved to the city to pursue my dream of becoming a neurosurgeon when I met him. He was a wealthy entrpepenur with a devilish smile, eyes the color of the sea, and with the physique of an Adonis. We fell madly in love but I had some misgivings because he was moody, mysterious and slightly menacing. One day he took me to a secret room in his mansion on a cliff over looking the sea. He opened the door with a wolffish smile and told me he wanted me to use something he had bought especially for me but it had to be our secret as no one could know he bought it for me. The room was dark and smelled of leather and overhead I heard a slight metallic clinking. Imagine my shock and delight when he opened a maghagony box and took out a dainty pen in a sweet pastel color. The room begin to spin and my heart raced as I took the pen from his long, well manicured but very manly fingers, it was then I knew I belonged to him.

 

[ishtat]

I love the way the public can register their opinions about corporate marketing decisions on Amazon. The mascot for the Olympic games comes to mind.

And every one really, really does need to know that Wenlock got his name from the small town of Much Wenlock in Shropshire, where of course the first modern Olympics was held in 1850. Non - believers can google it.

 

[Emily124]

This was so great! Thank you for sharing.
There's more, for fashion-conscious ladies:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005YGLA5Y/ref=aw_cr_item_title

 

[annanova]

"I don't know why they didn't put a clearer warning on the label, they really should have because if you are a boy and use this pen you put yourself at great risk. My little brother turned into a unicorn after I lent him one, and my friend told me that a boy in her class grew fairy wings in the middle of a test."

And if there's one thing a boy doesn't want growing on him in the middle of a test, it's fairy wings. *nods sagely*

Thanks for the link, desertslave! I may have to check on this every couple of days to see the reviews change.

 

[sun_sea_sky]

The reviewers are getting into their stride now ...

Can't get much better reviews than this:

The Marriage Saver

...

This set of ballpoint pens proved to be the single best gift to bestow upon my lovely wife on her birthday. Her eyes lit up upon opening the shipping box in which it came, she broke down and sobbed uncontrollably on the floor of the Denny's I had taken her to for her special day, and remarked that this was, far and away, the most wonderful thing I had given her.

Her special pens, which she has stated repeatedly that I am unable to use, were placed in her new pen holder (which coincidentally used to be my favorite coffee mug). Little notes and reminders dot our palatial home, glistening with the ink from these pens which are, I assume, made from unicorns and essence of rainbows. Sometimes she takes a pen with her into the study, disappearing for hours to work on her 50 Shades of Grey fan fiction.

Our love life has returned, our conversations and laughs are full of genuine affection, and she no longer wakes me in the night with whispered threats. I feel completely at peace again, and we are walking around like we were courting again. I owe it all to the Bic Cristal for Her pens. Thank you for saving my marriage, and possibly my life.

and:

So tempted... but what of society?

I, a simple man of no specific writing implement, gaze upon these wonders of feminine penwomanship with nothing short of a turgid, wanton desire. Not so much a siren's call wailing from the figurative rocks of my local drug store's stationery section... more a come-hither whisper, tickling at my most intimate bits. I hear it now... "scribble scribble scribble." It mocks me, it caresses me, and - in it's way - it loves me.

"But no!" I scream, so needing to resist the lure of these venomous quills, yet daring not to let the world know of my secret lust. So I scream in silence, still daring against all decency and decorum to glance helplessly at those luminous inky shafts, knowing full well I haven't the strength to resist their allure forever.

I am resigned. I know now, this is who I am, and who I have always been. I am... BIC-curious.

Subtle reference there to a letter from the Duke of Gloucester to the British historian Edward Gibbon - ''Always scribble, scribble, scribble! Eh! Mr Gibbon?''

 

[Handley_Page]

Men, however, don't like elegant designs. They prefer crap.

Sorry; wrong.
Men prefer a decent thing to hold, that does what its driving signals tell it. As if that's not enough, it puts a suitable mark on the paper, in keeping with the quality of that paper and of suitable thickness for the size of writing,

Something like a Parker 51 or the Waterman doings, in fact, both of which are elegant and practical designs.

 

[sun_sea_sky]

Men prefer a decent thing to hold, that does what its driving signals tell it.

Oh, right. For a moment there I thought you were referring to their cocks.

 

[Handley_Page]

Oh, right. For a moment there I thought you were referring to their cocks.

nice try !

 

[LettersFromTatyana]

A bump to make sure we all have the opportunity to view the awesome new commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c23dUWATaY

 

[TE999]

Bwhahahaha!

This is my favorite review (so far):

HULK NEED PEN WRITE NOTE

HULK ONLY FIND BIC FOR HER

HULK SMASH PEN

HULK SAD

HULK DEMAND BIC FOR HIM

 

[sun_sea_sky]

Now this is interesting ...

Because of this thread I went to Amazon and read the reviews for this pen. That's all I did.

Now today I get an email from Amazon:

Sun_sea_sky*,

Are you looking for something in our Writing Supplies department? If so, you might be interested in these items.

* BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk)
* BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 10ct (MSLP101-Blk)
* BIC For Her Fashion Retractable Ball Pen, Medium Point, 1.0 mm, Assorted-Fashion Ink, 2 Count (FHAP21-ASST)
* BIC For Her Retractable Ball Pen, Medium Point, 1.0 mm, Blue Ink, 2 Count (FHAP21-Blue)
* BIC for Her Retractable Gel, Medium Point 0.7 mm, 2 Pack, Black Ink (RFHRP21 - BLACK)
* BIC Ultimates Ball Pen, Medium Point, 1.2mm, Black, 10 Pens (GSMGAP101-Blk)
* BIC Cristal Stic Ball Pen, Medium Point , 1.0 mm, Black, 12 Pens (MS11-Blk)
* BIC Shimmers Ball Pen, Medium Point (1.0 mm), Assorted, 10 Pens

*not my real name

It's interesting that, even by just browsing an item, you have gone onto their database as "someone interested in BIC pens".

This is part of the "Internet Bubble". By just searching for things, or browsing, companies are building up a profile of you, and what you are interested in.

 

[Handley_Page]

Now this is interesting ...

Because of this thread I went to Amazon and read the reviews for this pen. That's all I did.

Now today I get an email from Amazon:




*not my real name

It's interesting that, even by just browsing an item, you have gone onto their database as "someone interested in BIC pens".

This is part of the "Internet Bubble". By just searching for things, or browsing, companies are building up a profile of you, and what you are interested in.

I don't know about you, but I regard that as an invasion of privacy.
On my PC, I have an interesting bit of software on the browser (firefox) called DNT (plus). Do Not Track.
It seems to have stopped a few things so far.

 

[sun_sea_sky]

I've got some of that anti-tracking stuff installed, but I must have been logged into Google on my browser when I went to Amazon, so I suppose they thought I was fair game.

And yes, it is an invasion of privacy. Just imagine what sort of picture they are building up of me right now. Based on my search history s/he is interested in:

• Erotica
• Story writing
• Smashwords
• Boobs (purely for research you understand)
• Royalty-free photos
• BDSM (more research)
• Oh yeah, BIC pens "for her"

Oh, and I just looked up TPE because of another thread.