first time nerves

[bi_m_MN_76]

alright, so I've not ever been with a guy but have masturbated countless times to the idea of sucking cock and swallowing cum. I've posted a few times online and had a few people willing to meet but ice always chickened out, and yet the fantasy persists.

today I again posted an ad basically saying I'm disease free and normal discreet hwp and looking for the same because I want to try sucking cock. And I got response from a married guy that is my age. he says he doesn't do this often, he himself has sucked a few cocks here and there, and totally understands my nerves. he says he was once feeling exactly like me. he gets it, and he is being totally patient and chill about it. we have exchanged a few emails and pics and he has a nice cock. really be seems perfect and yet I'm hesitant. I don't understand this.
in my mind I want him to come over and shower with me and I want to take his warm cock into my mouth, and he is cool with doing just but I can't bring myself to give him my address even though he is exactly what I'm looking for.

 

[whyaskwhy]

I think fantasy is easy to mess around with, and it can make you feel uninhibited and free. And, of course, it can help keep you coming like a porn star. But once it becomes reality (or is about to), things start to feel very different very quickly. I've had the same fantasy as you for years now, though more during the course of a good MMF threesome, and don't know if I'll ever have the balls to act on it. There are a lot of social and personal hang ups to male on male sex (although lesbianism seems not only widely accepted but actually encouraged), and maybe it's just a case of not wanting to admit to yourself that you're gay or bi. Once the deed is done, once the hook up is made and the cock is sucked, not matter how enjoyable it might be at the time, there's still that mirror to look at the next day. If anything, I'd say get to know the guy as well as you can first online; if there are still warning bells going off in your instincts, listen to them, and let your fantasy stay a fantasy for now. Your time will come....

 

[stickygirl]

Perfectly said WAW - spot on!
He's right MN, get to know the guy: it'll make it a far better experience if you click and there is some friendship there.

 

[whyaskwhy]

Thanks, Stickygirl. Every once in awhile, whether I want it to or not, something intelligent slips out of my mouth.... (10 points if that got you to think of something dirty!)

 

[stickygirl]

Thanks, Stickygirl. Every once in awhile, whether I want it to or not, something intelligent slips out of my mouth.... (10 points if that got you to think of something dirty!)

Ha! It happens to us all - the trick is to put your hand over your mouth when you talk crap!
+10 points to you then

 

[StacyTG]

Perfectly said WAW - spot on!
He's right MN, get to know the guy: it'll make it a far better experience if you click and there is some friendship there.

Or love.

<3

 

[whyaskwhy]

Ha! It happens to us all - the trick is to put your hand over your mouth when you talk crap!
+10 points to you then

If everybody followed this advice, I'd barely hear a word all day from just about everybody I work with! (Not that I'm complaining...)

 

[photobuff56]

The one that's holds us back is Fear and uncertainty, look back at all your first accomplishments and the hesitation that went along with them. You will prob overcome it with time so just take your time and it will happen when your ready.

 

[soonrornow]

Similarly here

alright, so I've not ever been with a guy but have masturbated countless times to the idea of sucking cock and swallowing cum. I've posted a few times online and had a few people willing to meet but ice always chickened out, and yet the fantasy persists.

today I again posted an ad basically saying I'm disease free and normal discreet hwp and looking for the same because I want to try sucking cock. And I got response from a married guy that is my age. he says he doesn't do this often, he himself has sucked a few cocks here and there, and totally understands my nerves. he says he was once feeling exactly like me. he gets it, and he is being totally patient and chill about it. we have exchanged a few emails and pics and he has a nice cock. really be seems perfect and yet I'm hesitant. I don't understand this.
in my mind I want him to come over and shower with me and I want to take his warm cock into my mouth, and he is cool with doing just but I can't bring myself to give him my address even though he is exactly what I'm looking for.

I am in the same situation. Drives me crazy as much as it drives the men that I reach out to. I feel terribly about it, and yet . I am the only one that can change it. If I think about so daily, there can be no question how much I need it! I hope I walk over this bridge soon! Glad I am not alone. thanks.

 

[KING KOOPA]

While in this thread, I've been wondering what ever happened to the posted thread about peoples first times, i cant seem to find it anywhere. Please help.

 

[alterboy]

I understand you so much...
There are night I am so horny, that I am ready to go out on the closer bar and hook up with somebody, but still I hesitate even to tell the truth about my city...

Still wonder if I will ever find the right person who will make me trust him and guide me in tricky paths of my fantasies...

Let us know when you find a way with those "nerves"

 

[bi_m_MN_76]

He's pretty patient. Despite my failure to act he's still in communication. He sounds like many of you telling me how nervous he was, telling me that we can go slow. Will see how this goes.

 

[brightondream]

I think fantasy is easy to mess around with, and it can make you feel uninhibited and free. And, of course, it can help keep you coming like a porn star. But once it becomes reality (or is about to), things start to feel very different very quickly. I've had the same fantasy as you for years now, though more during the course of a good MMF threesome, and don't know if I'll ever have the balls to act on it. There are a lot of social and personal hang ups to male on male sex (although lesbianism seems not only widely accepted but actually encouraged), and maybe it's just a case of not wanting to admit to yourself that you're gay or bi. Once the deed is done, once the hook up is made and the cock is sucked, not matter how enjoyable it might be at the time, there's still that mirror to look at the next day. If anything, I'd say get to know the guy as well as you can first online; if there are still warning bells going off in your instincts, listen to them, and let your fantasy stay a fantasy for now. Your time will come....

Good advise. I would like to add that you make some non-play dates first. Meet him for a drink or coffee.Find out what he's like while checking your personal radar for hints of trouble. If your even a fair judge of character you may pick up on something that you couldn't discover on cybe talk.
With all this good advise you receive from these intelligent folks at "LIT"
I have to tell you I envy the excitment and memories of your first cock sucking experience that appears to be in your future, either with this man or another.
Think about all this and then plan and activate using you your BIG head and not the smaller one to make your decision. And finally, keep myself and the rest of us on any updates.

 

[bitwin]

Sometimes I think the fantasy is hotter.

 

[mac_crazy]

All good advice, above.

I have met many men on Craigslist and other sites... Obviously I understand the potential danger involved, but I trust my instincts, and on many occasions I've declined an invitation, or even bailed on someone at the last minute because "it just didn't feel right". So I'm as careful as I think I can be, and I've never had one bad experience (although I have had the occasional guy who didn't look nearly as young as he claimed).

That said, and it sounds like you're taking the necessary precautions to make sure he's a safe guy... Sometimes I've found you just have to step off the ledge. I also recommend meeting the guy in a public place first, if that makes you feel more comfortable before getting intimate the first time... but for me, I'm more than comfortable with the idea that I don't *want* to know the guy. In most cases I prefer to keep it purely physical, with very little small talk, just action.

Now, I am much more experienced than you are, and -- full disclosure -- I was fortunate enough to have several of my very first experiences with a guy that I knew really well, while my (ex) wife was there too. So obviously the comfort level was much higher.

But again, if you DO feel very comfortable with this guy, and you think he really IS the guy you want to try it with, and you feel safe about it... you may just need to take that first step over the edge, and stop thinking so much, and just do it. I'm the type of person that tends to build things up in my head (like big decisions I have to make, or difficult conversations I need to have), and that only makes it more difficult to actually go through with it... then once I finally do it, I typically think "Wow... that wasn't so bad... I was all worked about THAT?" and feel kinda silly.

So again, I stress... make sure you feel 100% safe, comfortable, and if meeting in a public place first is feasible, do it... but once you get to that point... just jump in! I've never looked back.

Good luck!

 

[mac_crazy]

One other point of note:

Even now that I'm very experienced at both meeting guys and pleasuring them... I still get nervous if I do meet a new guy, because I'm still very "in the closet" to most people I know about being bi, so I wouldn't want people to find out, and I'm worried that A) I might actually know the guy, or B) in some strange turn of events, he'd make it public. Those worries are pretty much ridiculous, because many of the guys I've met are afraid of the exact same things. So there's usually a lot of "hush hush" sneaking around. Except for gay guys who are "out"... they aren't hiding, but have always respected my needs, probably because they've been there at some point.

But overall, married men are usually "safer" in that aspect, simply because in all likelihood they don't want their wife to know anything.

 

[debear]

I too have made the date and chickened out a few times. I did feel guilty for doing it but I just couldn't bring myself to go through with the deed. Besides being afraid of catching something I have one huge fear I can't seem to overcome.

The fear of becoming physically ill (just a nice way of saying yakking) when the guy cums in my mouth. I have tasted my own and don't really care for it. The thought of some guy putting four or five spurts of it in the back of my throat scares the hell out of me.

I have been with one other guy, I did suck his cock for awhile, I enjoyed having it in my mouth and I did like the taste of his pre-cum (no surprise that I like mine too) but when he started to get close I finished him by hand. When I think back I sometimes regret that...sometimes I don't.

I'm still looking for that magic guy...the one who can get me to follow through and take him to completion. That's the fantasy anyway...sucking a guy to completion...till he ejaculates in my mouth. It sounds so exciting and yet so repulsive at the same time.

I must sound so confused.

 

[bi_m_MN_76]

We are going to get together somewhere public tomorrow and see how it goes.

 

[jdee1]

Good luck to you - I only wish I was so brave to act upon the impulses.

 

[woman_inside]

I went through the same, chickening out of several possible first times, with lots of nerves and so forth. I sort of forced myself to go through with it in the end. A big part of it was being afraid of liking it, of course.

 

[minn]

me too

Ironic that you are also in Minnesota. Must be our Scandanavian culture. I know exactly how you feel. Trying to connect through a site like this is hard. I am a married man who is extremely careful because I do not wish to lose what I have but have a strong desire to meet a male soulmate.

I am clean and have always been overly concerned that I would put my wife in harms way because of my desires. I have experienced sex with another man and it was fantastic. I love sex with women but, there is something unbelievably erotic about sex with another male. I met the man in a hotel bar where we were both staying. I will have to say that it initially was completely innocent.

I'll be honest. He was handsome, younger and in good shape. If he wasn't, I wouldn't have been ready to have sex with him. That's the problem with sites like this. Unless you can comfortably exchange photos, which I would not do, you have no idea what you are getting.

Bottom line is that I need to see the person, and he see me, to insure we are both attracted to each other. It may never happen again but, when it did, it was fantastic!

 

[hogger1776]

I've been where all of us have been too. For me, I had to almost force myself to go thru with it, simply because I wanted to do it so much. I did have some extensive conversation on line first. That was 4 years ago.

Since then, I still go back and forth. Had some good experiences, some not so good. And am still looking for a LT thing with one guy.

 

[tonethebone]

I was fortunate that a close friend approached me first. While I had the same fantasy as many of you, I was too chicken to act on it. We had been friends for 15 years when he just asked me one day if I ever thought about sucking cock.

I wasn't taken back, but got really nervous. And REALLY turned on. We started by just touching each other. Progressed to jerking off together, then each other. Finally licking and sucking each other.

That was almost 25 years ago, damn

We're both married, so this has always been just between us. We only manage to get together a few times a year. But it's always great. I've learned to love having him cum in my mouth.

I'm getting that urge again and need some cock soon!

 

[curiousus]

nervous too

I was fortunate that a close friend approached me first. While I had the same fantasy as many of you, I was too chicken to act on it. We had been friends for 15 years when he just asked me one day if I ever thought about sucking cock.

I wasn't taken back, but got really nervous. And REALLY turned on. We started by just touching each other. Progressed to jerking off together, then each other. Finally licking and sucking each other.

That was almost 25 years ago, damn

We're both married, so this has always been just between us. We only manage to get together a few times a year. But it's always great. I've learned to love having him cum in my mouth.

I'm getting that urge again and need some cock soon!

The first time I was so nervous that I was shaking. I was also turned on too. I didn't jack off for 4 days before we met at a coffee shop so that my load would be as big as possible.
It was so freeing to verbalize that I wanted to suck his cock.
I loved his pre-cum, he streamed like a leaky faucet.
Looking back, I wish we had 69'ed.
Just the thought makes me get butterflies in my stomach.

Step of the ledge.
D

 

[DogInTheSnow]

The best thing I was told when I first started meeting guys (squirt.org for those who may be interested!) was, "Don't be afraid of your fantasies, but do be informed."

Meet the guy and make it clear what you both want. If he's a normal level headed dude that just like a hard rod in his mouth ready to blow then he'll be fine with it. It also helps to do exactly what you're doing now: talking about it. Expand on the fantasy with things like online sexual roleplaying or flirtatious e-mails/ texts. When you are more clear about what you're looking for find someone who wants the same.

Be honest, don't be afraid, and most importantly smile. It's all fun and games until someone gets cum in the eye. Then it's a porno!