The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Tio_Narratore]

but you get a stubborn child that won't eat anything unrelated to dinosaurs or transformers.

I put in an early bedtime.

and you get an early wake-up.

I put in a child-proofed house...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get an early wake-up.

I put in a child-proofed house...

It's called a prison.


I put in a spare Antenna dish for Voyager 2.

 

[SailorJerry]

It's called a prison.

I put in a spare Antenna dish for Voyager 2.

The Aliens think it's cute, and use it for an ash tray.

I put in a carton of smokes.

 

[Handley_Page]

The Aliens think it's cute, and use it for an ash tray.

I put in a carton of smokes.

and you get a very bad cough.


I put in a pint of fresh orange juice

 

[desertslave]

And you get a genuine Dr Who sonic screwdriver

I put in a shotgun shell

 

[Handley_Page]

And you get a genuine Dr Who sonic screwdriver

I put in a shotgun shell

which goes 'pop'.


I put in a model of the Aracebo dish.

 

[Noor]

which goes 'pop'.


I put in a model of the Aracebo dish.

and you get Golden Eye

I put in something shaken, not stirred

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get Golden Eye

I put in something shaken, not stirred

But the glass cracks before drinking.


I put in a rubber band.

 

[Noor]

But the glass cracks before drinking.


I put in a rubber band.

and you get a sling shot

I put in a new toaster

 

[desertslave]

And you get a vintage edition of the After Dark screen saver.

I put in a 5.25" floppy disk.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get a vintage edition of the After Dark screen saver.

I put in a 5.25" floppy disk.

and you get invited to Antiques Roadshow.

I put in a 5.25 with Atari's Space Invaders...

 

[stickygirl]

and you get a load of angry pacmen _
___________________________________
_____________________________

I put in a Sinclair C5

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a load of angry pacmen _
___________________________________
_____________________________

I put in a Sinclair C5

and you never get up that hill.

I put in a tricycle...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you never get up that hill.

I put in a tricycle...

with a flat front tyre.


I put in a Tyre Lever

 

[Noor]

with a flat front tyre.


I put in a Tyre Lever

and you get a tire thumber


desertslave-I miss flying toasters

I put in 18 wheeler

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a tire thumber


desertslave-I miss flying toasters

I put in 18 wheeler

and you get a convoy.

I put in a Nevada TA truck stop...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a convoy.

I put in a Nevada TA truck stop...

but the brakes fail and you go right by. . . .


I put in a test dipole

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but the brakes fail and you go right by. . . .


I put in a test dipole

and it fails the entrance test for Uni.

I put in a quartz crystal...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it fails the entrance test for Uni.

I put in a quartz crystal...

which vibrates until it shatters.


I put in a Band Aid plaster

 

[Noor]

which vibrates until it shatters.


I put in a Band Aid plaster

and you get aloe vera gel

I put in a sleeping pill

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get aloe vera gel

I put in a sleeping pill

and, for some inexplicable reason, it works.


I put in a nice hot wake-up drink

 

[Noor]

and, for some inexplicable reason, it works.


I put in a nice hot wake-up drink

and you get a fish!

I put in a dull scissors

 

[desertslave]

and you get a fish!

I put in a dull scissors

And you get a bad haircut.

I put in a pack of bobby-pins.

 

[Handley_Page]

And you get a bad haircut.

I put in a pack of bobby-pins.

But Bobby is not pleased.


I put in a rusty padlock

 

[iamincognito45]

But Bobby is not pleased.


I put in a rusty padlock

You get a brand new garden rake.

I put in a $2 bill.