First Nude Day Submission!

[Cruel2BKind]

Hi! This is actually my first theme contest entry ever, and I was hoping it would enlarge my readership.

I was wondering if anyone had an opinion?

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-goats

The story is gay male, fair warning.

 

[Hubs_in_hose]

It was a good read. Your characters were compelling and the story flowed nicely. The sex was nice. I could sort of visualize being in the hut and then the tent as one of them. Good luck in the contest.

 

[_Lynn_]

I was going to give you feedback. However, I stopped reading on the first page. The errors pulled me from the story so many times that I lost interest.

Sorry.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

It was a good read. Your characters were compelling and the story flowed nicely. The sex was nice. I could sort of visualize being in the hut and then the tent as one of them. Good luck in the contest.

Thanks Hubs It's nice to have feedback from somebody in the forums.

I was going to give you feedback. However, I stopped reading on the first page. The errors pulled me from the story so many times that I lost interest.

Sorry.

I know that I mix up then and than sometimes, but what other errors are there?

I edit my own stories, and I know that my grammar isn't the best, but it's far from the worst.

 

[Goldeniangel]

I really enjoyed it! You enlarged your readership by one at least

 

[_Lynn_]

Thanks Hubs It's nice to have feedback from somebody in the forums.



I know that I mix up then and than sometimes, but what other errors are there?

I edit my own stories, and I know that my grammar isn't the best, but it's far from the worst.

Not all readers notice or have a problem with errors. I find them distracting. And I realize I'll miss out on good stories. Anyway, I picked out a few errors after giving the story another quick glance. Here are some examples of what I found:


Senior . . . is lowercase (CMS 8.32)

The correct way to write an ellipsis is with a space between each dot . . .

High-school . . . doesn’t have a hyphen

"Oh Jason, it's awful! We were kids though, and we were just having fun, no one really got hurt. . . The tense switches from present (it’s) to past (we were)

Treeline . . . is two words

I grabbed his shoulder to help him up, and to her I said. "It was an accident, calm the fuck down!" . . . The period after said should be a comma. In addition, the sentence, as written, is awkward to read.

"Sorry, Jason!" She said meekly as Caleb and I walked away, my hand still on his shoulder. . . The ‘s’ in ‘she’ should be lowercase because you’re using ‘she said’ as the dialogue tag for ‘Sorry, Jason’. Also, the exclamation point after Jason doesn’t quite match ‘said meekly’, in my opinion.

"Um... I've been reading in the woods." He murmured . . . should be "Um . . . I've been reading in the woods,” he murmured. The period changes to a comma with the dialogue tag and then you use a lowercase ‘h’ for ‘He’.

Stephan King . . . Unless you intended this as another author, his name is Stephen King.

 

[Hubs_in_hose]

Not all readers notice or have a problem with errors.

I know that my stories are far from perfect so I don't stress when others make seemingly simple mistakes.

There are some stories on Lit that I have stopped reading due to structure and grammar issues.

 

[sr71plt]

I know that my stories are far from perfect so I don't stress when others make seemingly simple mistakes.

There are some stories on Lit that I have stopped reading due to structure and grammar issues.

But as long as you don't criticize the story technicals on the forum of others without being asked to while having problems with technicals yourself, it's all fine.

You're right. No one writes perfect copy--and there are many more blind spot technical problems naturally if you don't have at least a second reader go over it before submitting it.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

Not all readers notice or have a problem with errors. I find them distracting. And I realize I'll miss out on good stories. Anyway, I picked out a few errors after giving the story another quick glance. Here are some examples of what I found:


Senior . . . is lowercase (CMS 8.32)

The correct way to write an ellipsis is with a space between each dot . . .

High-school . . . doesn’t have a hyphen

"Oh Jason, it's awful! We were kids though, and we were just having fun, no one really got hurt. . . The tense switches from present (it’s) to past (we were)

Treeline . . . is two words

I grabbed his shoulder to help him up, and to her I said. "It was an accident, calm the fuck down!" . . . The period after said should be a comma. In addition, the sentence, as written, is awkward to read.

"Sorry, Jason!" She said meekly as Caleb and I walked away, my hand still on his shoulder. . . The ‘s’ in ‘she’ should be lowercase because you’re using ‘she said’ as the dialogue tag for ‘Sorry, Jason’. Also, the exclamation point after Jason doesn’t quite match ‘said meekly’, in my opinion.

"Um... I've been reading in the woods." He murmured . . . should be "Um . . . I've been reading in the woods,” he murmured. The period changes to a comma with the dialogue tag and then you use a lowercase ‘h’ for ‘He’.

Stephan King . . . Unless you intended this as another author, his name is Stephen King.

Thanks, I might send in an edit.

That last one is particularly embarrassing. he's my favorite author.